June 2024

The Things That Keep Us Young: Shifting Your Mental Perspective To Enjoy Life While Living With Sheila Finkelstein

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Sheila Finkelstein | Mental Shift

  When you lose the love of your life, it’s easy to succumb to regret, to the what ifs and what could have beens. But our departed love would have loved us to carry on living to the fullest. How does one transcend grief and learn to enjoy life while living? Sheila Finkelstein helps us make this powerful mental shift so we can learn to deal with loss gracefully and with hope. Tune in for her incredible wisdom! — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Things That Keep Us Young: Shifting Your Mental Perspective To Enjoy Life While Living With Sheila Finkelstein Our guest is Miss Sheila Finkelstein. She is coming to us from Florida. In lovely artwork, she has her signature color purple there. We’re going to get into all of that. She hangs out a lot on LinkedIn. I want to read a little bit of information that she has listed there, and I want that to be the start of our conversation. She is shifting the perspective, a guide for women aged 50 and above, at a turning point, feeling stuck, and open to photography and more as a way to expand creativity, enhance relationships, and reconnect with themselves and others. I don’t read people’s LinkedIn a lot but the conversation in the widowhood and community, a lot of times, people isolate. A lot of times, people feel disconnected. I know that the age of being a widow is shifting. It’s not always 50 and older. I am connecting with a large number of younger widows. Still, the premise of what you’re doing resonates with everyone. I love that you said you didn’t have to be creative. You don’t have to be intimidated by not having this huge sense of, “I’m a creative person,” but you have a way to let people use their simple abilities to reconnect and enhance relationships with themselves and others. I thought that was a beautiful way to start the conversation. Thank you. One of the things that has been my mission even back from when I was teaching elementary school many years ago is the, “I am not creative.” People think that they have to draw, paint, or something and that is creativity. It’s problem-solving. I did something, and I forgot what it was but I was like, “I solved that problem.” That’s being creative. It’s a simple thing. I suggest people look every time they’re faced with a problem and they look for it and come up with an answer, they’re being creative. I feel like a little bit of creativity hit me because I’m solving problems all day at work as a project manager. I never looked at it as being creative. I’ve always connected the word creativity with something artistic and something appealing, not something, to me, that seemed like basic problem-solving skills. I like that idea. You have so many different pieces going on. I’m sure as we touch on each of them or maybe some of them, there will be a story but I want to start with your necklace, what’s going on with that, and how that will take us on a journey of getting to know you better. Thank you. Thanks for noticing. This happens to be one of the things that I had when I started college years ago. I was going to be a social worker. I’ll come up to it later. I went to Temple University in Philadelphia. I met my husband on a blind date. He was in textiles. There was nothing in textiles in Philadelphia, although his school was there. He got out of the Army, went to New York, got tired of New York girls, came back, and we met on a blind date. Six weeks after we met, we were engaged. We were married three months after that.     That’s still super fast. We’re going to need to slow down a little bit. Tell us about this blind date. The funny part of it was that somebody I knew from high school was engaged to Sam’s best friend. She broke the engagement. She saw me in school and she was sitting on the toilet. I don’t think I’ve ever shared that. First here. Go ahead. She fixed this up and we went out together. Four of us went out on a blind date. Was it with her ex-fiance? What did you say your husband’s name is? Sam. It was you Sam, the girl on the toilet, and her ex-fiance. You guys went out on a date. What did you think of Sam on that first date? I don’t even know. It wasn’t like love at first date or that kind of thing but we got along. We were communicating. He was caring. He went back to New York and came home one weekend. We started writing. He was writing every day. This was days long before texting and everything. I want to pause there to make sure we understand. You are writing letters and putting them in the mailbox. Is that what we’re referring to here? I have spoken to some people that the idea of even addressing a letter is foreign. I want to make sure we’re able to ensure that our audience understands that you are writing letters and putting them in the mail. Keep in mind that this was 1960 so it was many years ago. He did more writing than I did. He would talk about the day or whatever. Remember. Phone calls were expensive too but periodically, he’d call. I’d be up in the middle of the night and he’d be concerned about me getting my schoolwork done. He was a very caring person. As a matter of fact, years later, a friend of mine who has since passed, rest in peace, was a psychic. She said that after he died, his mission in life had been to fulfill me. What more could one …

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A Double Widower’s Journey Through Dating, Healing, And Parenting With Isaac Byrd Jr. Part 2

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Isaac Byrd Jr. | Double Widower

  In part two of our heartfelt conversation with Isaac Byrd Jr., a two-time widower navigating life at 42, we follow his journey of single parenting, dating, and connecting with a community online. Discover how Isaac turned to TikTok during the pandemic, not to go viral, but to find solace and companionship, hosting Taco Tuesday live sessions that created a lounge-like happy hour for his followers. He shares invaluable advice on embracing spontaneity on social media and the challenges of single parenting, emphasizing the importance of communication over discipline and the support from his extended family. Isaac also opens up about preparing his son for the realities of life as a Black child, the complexities of dating as a widower, and the powerful impact of keeping his late wife’s memory alive. Tune in for an inspiring and deeply personal look at resilience, community, and the nuanced art of parenting through grief. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide“ — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   A Double Widower’s Journey Through Dating, Healing, And Parenting With Isaac Byrd Jr. Part 2 Our conversation is with Mr. Isaac Byrd. If you didn’t catch the last episode, you want to go back because that is part one. This is part two. Our conversation with a two-time widower at the age of 42 is about raising his 3-year-old son, dating, and navigating life as a widower. Let’s get into the conversation.     As we ended the last discussion, Isaac was welcoming enough to come back and do part two. He was gracious enough to join us for part two because there’s so much to talk about. We barely got through that. Everybody wants to know about dating and parenting, but before we get into all of that, how did you get on TikTok? What drove that? TikTok Community Being lonely, being in the middle of a pandemic, having a child, and needing adults or some type of connection with the outside world. You can only watch so many movies and those kinds of things. I was like, “We’re not going outside right now. Let me see what this TikTok thing is about.” That helped me build a community, in a sense. TikTok has become a community. I was then like, “I got to interact with these videos.” I never intended to build like, “I’m going to have this huge platform. I’m going to try to go viral,” because I don’t care about any of that. Somebody commented on one of my videos and was like, “Imagine trying to go viral and trying so hard.” I commented back, “Viral is not a part of the goals that I have in life. The rest of you think that, but no.” TikTok became a community. It was a way to connect with people. I’ve connected with several people that I’ve done music with and other things like that. TikTok has been a level of therapy for me. As a matter of fact, I even talked to my therapist about it. It’s a level of therapy for me. It has been there. From that, on one Tuesday night, I was making tacos in my kitchen. I turned on some music. This was finally when I could go live back when they were really hard-pressed about you going live. You had to have at least 1,000 people or something like that. I finally went live and turned my camera on. My son was probably already in bed. I turned the camera on and I’m cooking and making tacos, and a couple of people have joined. That’s been the thing for two years, Taco Tuesday. Are you still making tacos every Tuesday? Are you buying them someplace? Have they evolved? I still make them sometimes. I do buy them, but because of my living or the way I was at my house back in Florida and in changing, my setup is completely different. The cooking part doesn’t happen anymore on Taco Tuesday. For some reason, on Tuesday, I’m trying to get something Mexican or make it. That’s my thing on Tuesdays. That’s how, over time, I developed a community on TikTok, and it’s been really good. I haven’t had any issues on TikTok or anything like that. It’s been pretty pleasant. This is how I met you. I wanted to expound on that. When they hear TikTok, it’s teenagers or it’s people gyrating on the screen, or it’s doing all this other stuff. You talk about going live. For someone who has no concept of that, can you maybe explain or elaborate on that? Yeah. Being live is basically, you’re inviting people into your home. You’re inviting them into your life. Some people make it very formal. Some people make it informal. I’m somewhat informal but formal in a sense because Taco Tuesday is a whole theme. The concept of when I go live for that is specifically, it’s like a happy hour lounge. First of all, it was for adults getting off work. Most of us are parents or whatever. We are not going out to a lounge or going anywhere to have a drink. You can grab your drink, get on here, laugh, have some good times, and talk with other people. Sometimes, I have questions. Sometimes, I have game night, which is fun. Those are brutal. There is a level of competitiveness on game night. My game nights are typically around some type of music theme. I’ll either have questions or I’ll do Name That Tune. What’s funny about that is they get mad at me sometimes because I pick songs and they’d be like, “Nobody knows what that song was on that album. I know. …

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Stories Of A Double Widower With Isaac Byrd Jr. Part 1

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Isaac Byrd Jr. | Double Widower

It is indeed not easy to deal with grief after losing someone dear to you. But what if you have to go through the same pain twice? Joining me in this conversation is Isaac Byrd Jr., who opens up about what it is like to be a young double widower. We explore the lessons and realizations from his two partners who have transitioned to the next life, as well as the important role of music and faith in his grieving journey. Isaac also shares his experiences of going back into the dating game, especially now that it is mostly done through online applications.   I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here Listen to the episode here Stories Of A Double Widower With Isaac Byrd Jr. Part 1 Hello, Isaac, welcome to the widowhood.  Hello, thank you for having me, I appreciate it.  I will say, that even though this is Isaac being welcome to our widowhood, we’re having this conversation because he already was a member of the widowhood. I guess technically I was.  For sure and I want to tell you guys, I am intentionally always looking and stalking. Isaac can say that I stalked him down on TikTok and found him. I said, “Hi, how are you doing? Could you come to talk, please?”  It was cool. She’s not the creepy stalker.  They are out there just so everybody knows that. I said hello and I’m interested in this. This is our website. Please look at this and then get back to me. I didn’t come on hot and heavy real quick onto Isaac. It was just like, take a look. I will tell you, he was pleased with our website. He said, okay. I was very impressed with what you’re doing. I got to do it.    Music Background I appreciate that because there are not enough men in this space sharing to encourage. I see all of the equipment in the background. What’s up with that? What is that representing your life?  Music has been, always been in my life since I was a child. I started playing instruments probably around the age of three or four when I got my first set of drums and my first trumpet. Music has always been around. My father was a guitar player and singer. He also wrote. He was a good artist, he could draw very well. He has a lot of paintings in the house and different paintings around from artistry that he’s done over the years.  Musically, of course, my dad had everything to do with me getting involved in music, but one of the things he did was give up being a touring or aspiring musician to be a family man. He always played his guitars and all those different things. My first bass guitar is right back there and then one of my dad’s favorite guitars right here because I was recording earlier. My dad would be proud right now because he’s going on to glory and it’ll be two years on April 24, 2024. I was recording guitar today. It was funny because when I was a kid, I took a liking to the bass first.  He was teaching me guitar and I said, “I want to play bass.” He said, “You got to learn guitar first.” Somehow he agreed to teach me bass. I will play the guitar and I don’t do any of those on a stage. I usually do it in studio work stuff. I have enough to get by. I feel I have enough skill in guitar and bass to get by to do recordings because I know what I want typically. This is my studio area right now. This is what it is.   Father I have so many questions, I’m going to try to pace myself here. One, you mentioned your Dad, if I heard you correctly, stopped being on the road for his music to become a family man. What impact did that make on you?  I guess the impact was he was always here. My father was always involved in my life, whether that be in music, sports, and specifically when we did Boy Scouts and stuff like that. He was my Cub Scout leader. He was also my Scout Master at one point. I want to say that was before I was even born, that he made that decision to not pursue it heavily. I could see that impacted our lives in such a great way for myself and my sister. When I look at that, that sacrifice worked out for our family. My mom and he were together for 47 years.  When you think of relationships, were you looking to mimic what you saw your dad doing or what did you pull from his being a father to you and how you want to show up in life?  First of all, my dad was a Marine Corps veteran from Vietnam.  There are some complexities with that.  Yes, my father was a very intelligent man differently. We would consider Jim Crow, he was born in 1946 and grew up in Greenwood, South Carolina. My father came up through a very different world than I did. His being a father and a husband and my parents’ relationship was ultimately the first thing that modeled marriage for me. We do take and leave some things that we see for sure with our relationships or our family or our parents and stuff that.  However, his presence was an asset to me because a lot of people don’t get that. A lot of kids that I grew up with, even my age, still didn’t get having both parents …

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From Grief To Growth: How Financial Coaching Can Be Your Lifeline With Cheyenne Syverson

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Cheyenne Syverson | Financial Coaching

  Feeling lost after a life change? Divorce, grief, or just tired of living paycheck to paycheck? This episode’s your lifeline. Tina Fornwald talks with financial coach Cheyenne Syverson of Inspiring Solutions 4U about how to find your financial footing after a life-altering event. They explore the surprising power of financial coaching, especially for those dealing with grief. Forget rigid plans – Cheyenne’s about gentle nudges, untangling emotional ties to money, and building habits for a secure future. Find solace in inspiring stories of others who found strength, from creating “don’t buy” lists to rewriting their financial narratives. Learn how to avoid refinancing traps and shed limiting beliefs passed down through generations. Whether you’re facing a mountain of debt or simply want to feel more in control, discover how financial coaching can be your anchor to financial well-being.   Unlock exclusive savings with this unique discount code for Widowhood Real Talk With Tina: IS4U-WRTWT. Enjoy a 10% discount using this code.   I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide“ — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   From Grief To Growth: How Financial Coaching Can Be Your Lifeline With Cheyenne Syverson Our guest is Cheyenne, and she is a financial coach. You say, “Why?” It’s because I know that there is a great deal of people in this community where finances are an immense hurdle in dealing with our grief. I want you to have the tools. I want you to have access to people that can help you. Cheyenne is going to provide you with the ability to not say if I have money or not but change the narrative that is in your mind. Not to look at it as the textile part as far as the technical terms, but understand your relationship with money, what you can do to empower yourself to change it, and how you can have a different scenario in your life and your future as it relates to things that you need to manage with money. Let’s get into the discussion now.     Our guest is Ms. Cheyenne Syverson and she is a financial coach. Yes, I did say coach because when you’re dealing with your money, isn’t it better sometimes to have someone who’s going to coach you through? I’m a life coach, so I can relate to that. When I hear that word as it relates to your money, you’re telling someone what your expectations are and what your goals are. They encourage and coach you through making that decision, but that’s my conversation. Cheyenne says that she is going to give us the scoop on it, which is why she’s here. Welcome.  Thank you so much, Tina. I forgot to mention this because I always want to get right into the conversation. If or when you decide to work with Cheyenne, she is supporting the widowhood. When you reach out to her, please mention the code IS4U-WRTWT and she’s going to be so kind as to give you a 10% discount for her services. Let’s get right into this. I want you to know Cheyenne is an early riser. She got me up. She got your girl up at 7:00 AM to have this conversation. I’m excited about the early bird mentality. Monday through Friday, I am up at 4:00 AM. I think my body has learned. Where are you from originally? I’m originally from Northern Minnesota, a small town about an hour and a half away from the Canadian border. Have you lived there your entire life? Where are you now? I am in Wyoming now. I moved here many years ago. I transferred to my job here and I love the mountains and all the outdoor activities that Wyoming has to offer. When I hear the word Wyoming, I think of something picturesque and relaxing. I know it’s not like that when you’re driving to work every day, or maybe you can see the mountains from where you’re at, or do you have to travel someplace to enjoy them? You can see them from the town. To get into them, though, it takes about half an hour to be at the foothills, but you can see them from town, so it’s a beautiful way to wake up. Financial Coaching How did you get into that financial coaching? Explain what that means. Sure. It’s a funny story because I started in high school taking an assessment that said, “You’ll do good with numbers.” I thought that’s funny. I loved animals. I have a degree in Animal Science and Equine Science. Believe it or not, I was hired before I finished college into an intern position doing agricultural lending because of that background. That’s how I got started in finance. Once I got into it, I realized, wow, we’re not taught a whole lot about it. I started to ask a lot of questions, and while I started doing my training, I started to help people at my place of employment. I started to share a lot more concepts of things that I was learning from other people. Financial coaching, to me, is helping people tell themselves a better story around their money. I realized through the journey that we’re not taught. Even in my degree, I wasn’t taught money management. When I first started, I had to change a marketing class to even have a basic introduction to finance before I went into my job. I was like, “Why?”     How do you go into production agriculture? That’s where I had expected to go and be able to be profitable when I didn’t even know how to manage money other than always paying my bills first and living on the rest. Second …

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