No parent should ever bury their child. But unfortunately for Shamel Mouzon, she was not able to escape the tight grip of a mother’s sorrow. Nevertheless, she did not let grief pull her down. I talk with this amazing and determined woman who talks about dealing with the sadness of losing her twins. She opens up on her struggles with her marriage, career, and relationships after the transition of her children – as well as how she overcame every single one of them. Shamel also talks about rebuilding her life, having another daughter, and her inspiring Team WOKE on TikTok.

I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  

Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide.”

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the episode here

A Mother’s Sorrow And Determination With Shamel Mouzon

Hello, Mel, welcome to the Widowhood. 

Hello, how are you? 

Good. Have you done a podcast before? 

Not like this, no. 

What type of podcast? 

More on listening or being a part of something bigger than being about me and being able to ask questions to other people who were on this type of platform. If I had questions. It wasn’t anything visual, it was only audio. 

Looking Back

This is a new format. Lean in get comfortable, and whatever position works for you, is perfectly fine. I appreciate your willingness to be able to come on and share your journey. A lot of people read Widowhood Real Talk and I’m constantly telling them, that this is a platform that is beyond the death of one’s spouse. Unfortunately, you bring that dynamic to this conversation and I appreciate you being transparent about that. Where are you located now and what do you do for a living? 

I am currently in Florence, South Carolina to be exact, and though I do many things for a living, I’m not going to say that these other things that I do don’t give me some type of lifestyle. Let’s see the best way to say it. I originally worked in the clerical field, I’m currently a truck driver and I’m currently in transition into being a truck driver, and CDL instructor. I just got that job last week and I’m excited. 

Let’s talk about that. Truck driver is not something you hear women often say that that is their profession. How did you find yourself in that profession? 

Originally, I was in the clerical field for 24 years before I turned a key to a truck. At a time, it was in 2017 I found myself working for a company and it was similar to the time when Hillary Clinton was trying to become the president of the United States of America. There was a lot of talk about corporate America and women not having their shot as far as financially, men were getting more income than women. 

I didn’t understand what they were even talking about before this incident happened to me at work, where a young man who was 23, was getting paid $1.75 more than me. I had been in the field longer than this kid had been born. When I went to the HR department, I had a good friend there and we were never supposed to talk about pay. 

I don’t even remember what the dollar amount was. I just know that the more, it was $1.75 more than me. I went to her office and I asked her, why was this person getting paid $1.75 more. She said, “Lord, have a seat and close the door. I did not want him reprimanded for such a thing.” She said, “I could fix 75 cents of it.” 

I asked her how, and she said, “He was bilingual.” If I knew another language that would add to my repertoire, then I would have, then 75 cents more. I said, “What’s the dollar for?” She said, “Because he was a man.” It blew my mind. This is Corporate America, a very well-known company. I still use their services. That’s how well-known they are. They were the originators of a lot of things that we have here in the US. 

I just didn’t understand the dynamic, so I went home and I started Googling what job you can have where it was equal and it popped up as a truck driver. I wish I could say that was the only reason I did that, but it’s not. It just seemed like that was God’s path for me because of my losses. Sometimes you have to try to do your best for yourself, but you do, I guess you could say, vicariously live for others. 

You have to try your best for yourself and for others. Share on X

You mentioned because of your losses, what does that mean for you? 

I lost a set of twins, a boy, and a girl. I lost the girl first. She lived for two hours and my son passed away at seven and a half months old. He had a big heart, literally a big heart. His heart grew bigger than his body would allow him to have and they don’t typically give heart transplants to children that never leave the PQ. 

I was wondering when he was going to graduate from PQ.  What I found out about that is they don’t graduate from PQ unless they leave the hospital and come back. It becomes something different. He passed away in the neonatal unit at seven and a half months old. My silly self, thinking that because he was transported to a larger hospital with more help and care, I asked, “Did we go to the PQ now?” They said, “No, he’s still in PQ because he never went home. 

Having And Losing Twins

What year did your children transition? 

My daughter transitioned in 2006 and my son transitioned in 2007. 

Do you mind sharing about when you found out you were pregnant?

I don’t mind. When I found out that I was pregnant, I guess I didn’t think about it since then till now. It’s been a lot of years. The doctor said to me that I was pregnant and he thought that it may be twins. I said, “I believe it, but I don’t think that that would be my case because I just didn’t ever see myself being blessed with something that fortunate.” 

To be honest, I just was like, “Me? twins, no.” They were in two separate sex, two separate percentages, two separate everything, and he explained to me that I may have gotten pregnant, and then one day I may have gotten pregnant another day, a completely different day. I said, “How is that possible?” He explained that two eggs would fertilized separately. 

I got very intrigued at that point but when I told others that I was pregnant with twins, I grew as big as a house, I’m telling you, it was huge. My thing would be the way they reacted. It would be just amazing how people would be like, “Twins?” The eyebrows always raise when someone says twins and it just was a good feeling. I felt very important in a way. I guess you would say that it felt like I was an important person. Just because I was one of the lucky fortunate ones to have two children coming to me. 

Wow, do twins run in your family? 

Yes, funny, quick story about that. My grandmother, God rest her soul, had twin brothers. Back then, they didn’t have an ultrasound and the first baby came out and they had already said they were going to name him Pete, as far as Peter in the Bible. They shortened it to Pete because his brother came right behind him. I had two uncles and the name was Pete and they named the second boy Repete. I can’t make it up, I’m telling you. I had uncles Pete and Repeat. 

That’s on their birth certificate. 

On their birth certificate is Pete and then the other one’s name is Repeat. Yes. Actual names. They came into our lives as our first set of twins. Then my cousin has twins. They named the boy Tim and he was holding his sister. They were the same sex, same placentas, and everything. Their name is Tammy and Tammy. They’re them. I was the third one I knew of that was going to have a set of twins. 

Wow, what do you recall about your pregnancy? 

A lot of sickness. I was sick every single day. I didn’t think I would be able to work. I forced myself to work but slowly and gradually because I knew I had two lives to deal with. I was in that hospital forever. You have to keep in mind that the situation with me was, when my daughter was born, I was able to be with her for two hours before she passed. At the time husband got angry and had her removed from the room because of his precious son still being there. 

He was telling people she’s going to end up losing this one if you all keep her going through this et cetera. They took her off the loan. I stayed in Stirrups and what they call Trendelenburg later. They had me in the Stirrups for about those two hours that I was trying to deal with her. I’m still in Stirrups, but he’s not coming out. My cervix closed back up, which was unheard of. Everyone just told me that the other one’s coming soon, and he didn’t come out until a month and two days later.

Were you in those stirrups for a month and two days? 

No. The month and two days consisted of a couple of hours, I’ll say four hours. After they excused her from the room, they still had me in stirrups. I laid there upset, crying, or whatever. I remember it like it was yesterday. After four-plus hours, the doctor came in and said, “Move her back to a room. If he ends up coming, we’ll bring her back to the delivery room. 

They rolled me into the room where they put me in what they call Trendelenburg. It is when you know how people elevate your feet. They declined in my head and I’m pretty much almost all the way upside down for almost a month. You see, I thought the hardest thing was to have a child that I ever had to do in life, at that particular point was to give birth to a child. I found out at that moment that the hardest thing to do was to keep a child who wanted to come.

Mel, I’m going to pause because as you said, this is a lot you have not thought about to this level of detail in a while. I want to thank you for your transparency. I do have some questions if you’re willing.

I’m willing. 

You mentioned, if I’m hearing you correctly, your daughter was born and within two hours, she was no longer in this world. 

Correct.

It sounds as if when she was taken from the room, was she no longer here or was she still in this world? 

She was gone. 

It sounds as if you said your ex-husband didn’t give you time to lament. 

No.

What would what did you want to do with that? Did you want to do that? 

I didn’t know and I still don’t know. I don’t think that I wanted him there anymore at that moment. 

It makes a lot of sense. When you said, I didn’t want him there. That was 2006 and I’m thinking, her baby just left this world. 

And he was all I had there.

For a month you were in this inverted position. 

A month in two days. 

How was going to the bathroom or eating or just eating? 

That was not something that came first. When it was time to eat something, I did not want to eat. It was impossible to try to sleep. I compared it then and still understand that pain now, you have to think people in jail had to feel better than this. People were incarcerated because they were able to walk around. They were able to see other people. None of that for me.

Did anybody come visit you while you were there? 

Him. He was the only one there. My husband. I had maybe two people. I can’t even tell you who they were, to be honest with you. If someone were to tell me, “I came to visit you when you had your twins.” I would just have to believe them. My mind just went blank. 

Have you ever heard the term grief fog or grief brain? Those terms are in line with how you were feeling. A lot of things that we deal with in grief, we feel as if it’s just us feeling that way or it’s unique to me having this experience but there is scientific proof as far as how grief impacts our body, our mental, and our entirety. 

Grief brain or grief fog is where our brain experiences trauma. You’ve probably heard the term PTSD. The trauma that you’re experiencing in grief brain and grief fog, where your brain is feeling like it’s in trauma. Where your prefrontal cortex is experiencing some swelling and your amygdala is reacting more than anything else. 

The strategic and the planner part of your brain is not dysfunctional but it’s at a lower capacity in what you’re accustomed to. Now, the fight, flight, and the more manual part of ourselves is leading the whole show, which is not our norm. You’re in a space where, one, you have him there who’s not supported, your daughter is no longer here, and now trying to stay and sacrificing yourself daily for your son’s existence? 

Absolutely. I can tell you that my whole thought process at the time to my knowledge, because it is a fog, I didn’t know it was a thing, but was just that he just focused on holding on to him. Trying to think about how to stop contractions. You can’t. 

It’s not like doing kegels. You hear that word and you just start squeezing. You don’t even know what’s going on. I was having a conversation with one of my sisters, I’m one of five siblings. We can’t control our fingernails growing. We are in this body where we are trying to control all these forces control people. We can’t control how our hair grows. I can’t control when I gain 20 pounds if it’s going to be in my arm or my thigh or my butt. I mean, none of that. 

Sitting there trying to control contractions. Trying to mentally stop contractions. It’s impossible.    

Self-Sacrifice   

Was that your first time feeling like you were sacrificing yourself for somebody else’s well-being?

No.

When is your first memory feeling like that that’s what you were doing? 

My baby sister is my very first one. Of course, my mother’s child, came when I was eight. Me and my brother had a dispute about that. He said it was going to be a boy. I said it was going to be a girl. My birthday is on March 21 and she was coming around my birthday so I said, that’s my baby and it’s going to be a girl. 

Me and I went back and forth the whole time my mom was pregnant. My mom said that if it’s a boy, then it’s going to be Kevin’s responsibility, if it’s a girl, it would be mine. I’m eight years old and I’m in school and I’m telling everybody that my baby is on its way. I’m having a baby as if I was having a baby. I didn’t know where babies came from.

Then she came on March 19, back then, they kept women for two days in the hospital. She came home on the 21st of March. I thought that was my baby and I thought that Storks brought babies. I remember my mom bringing her to the school for all the teachers and kids to see on Show and Tell, I remember that in her bringing my baby sister up to enemy time. 

I told people for at least two or three weeks after she was born, I don’t remember the exact timeframe, that I had a real baby. They were like, “Do you mean a baby doll?” The teacher was like, “A baby doll?” I said, “No, I got a real baby. It pees and it poops.” I had it in my mind that she was my baby. I did a lot of self-sacrificing for a child that wasn’t my biological offspring. 

I remember when I was in Denver. I was getting on the city bus, taking her to daycare, and getting back on the city bus, going into middle school. Got out of middle school to go to that daycare, worked a couple of hours, and got back on the city bus with my baby sister after taking her to McDonald’s and getting her home. My responsibilities were vast because this was my baby. This was my responsibility, and I accepted that charge.

You were how old? 

When she was born, I was eight but when it came time for her to have after-school care and school care and things of that nature, I was 12. 

Where were you working at 12 years old? 

At the daycare. I’m going to school. I was taking myself to school on the city bus. I didn’t get on the bus with the other kids because I had to take my baby sister to daycare.

Where was your mom? 

I have no idea. I’m pretty sure later on, during this conversation that will come up again, but I remember when my first daughter, which was my second time sacrificing, it’s always been sacrificial though for kids. It’s never been sacrificial in my opinion. It’s never been sacrificing myself for adults. It’s always been for children. 

Even when it was an adult that I was sacrificing and the adult thought that I was sacrificing for them, it wasn’t for them, it was for their kids. It’s always been about kids with me. I’ve had people say, “My God, what can I do without you if you wouldn’t have done this?” I had to come down to an understanding of that because I kept asking, “Why do I keep doing these things?” It was for the kids. It’s never been for the Dell, if that makes sense. 

Pregnancy, Giving Birth, And Regret

It is your journey. It is your lived experience. It does make sense. This has been your road to where you are now. We haven’t gotten there as we’re traveling down this. What do you remember of your son and your daughter’s birth? 

That’s where I was at. I remember that I was telling you about how the hardest thing I ever did was giving birth but the hardest thing that I’ve ever done is try to hold on to him, to them. I do know something that may be interesting to a lot of women that may agree with. The biggest baby I’ve given birth to is seven pounds and one ounce. The smaller the child, the more the pain.

Just to put that into perspective, for a lot of people who may not understand this, when that child grows those fatty tissues that are around their flesh, I’m talking about physical pain now. I’m not talking about mental or emotional pain. Now we’re going to dig into this physical pain. There’s a canal, of course, that babies come through to get to this side of the earth here from out of your body.

If there’s no tissue cushioning those bones, it physically hurts worse. Even though it’s a small infant, it’s like something cutting into your flesh to come out. It’s a completely different pain. They say, “You have children and you won’t remember the pain once you have a baby because you love the child very much.” I remember every last pregnancy and every last pain after you had them. 

There’s pain there but moms still do it? Why? It is because there’s a love there that’s bigger than the pain. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt. You get stronger in it and you understand the sacrifice of that there and that pain you feel is temporary, it does pass. You hold on to that thought as you’re giving birth but I’m here to tell you, when the babies are premature, you do regret, there’s a regret there. Especially if the child doesn’t live past the timeframe of a twin. 

What does that regret look like from your perspective?

Just something that you wish you never lived. I don’t like that being a part of my story. 

If someone is reading this, and they’re in a similar situation, what would you say to them? You met them on the bus and you guys are talking. 

Once you’re in it, then you got to go through it. Don’t forget it, because it’s going to build and mold you in such a way that you’re going to have an understanding of how precious life is. 

If they’re struggling with regret, what advice would you give them?

It’s just something that you can’t avoid. There are going to be things in life that are ups and downs. I’m going to tell you what helps me. I don’t know if it’ll help any of the people who are reading. If you didn’t have any bad time, then what would you have good to look forward to? The worse the pain, the more grateful life becomes.

If you did not have bad times, you do not have something good to look forward to. The worse the pain, the more grateful life becomes. Share on X

It does because you people say phrases like, “We’re not promised tomorrow.” They say them as cliches but when you travel the road that you have been on, those words are not something you hear lightly at all. 

No, and this is time that’s taken out of your moment that you wish you didn’t have to deal with but the times after it are going to be great, even like someone else. I tend to tell to people who are angered that I feel sorry for them. I  do. There’s a dislike and then there’s another level of dislike, which is hate. You have these different levels of love. 

Like love, they have all these different word phrases, but all that means is that there’s a level to a feeling or emotion. That’s all that means. When you’ve lived the greatest pains and you know what that feels like, other things that you’ll deal with won’t be as harsh because these little things can’t possibly affect you now. 

The rest of my days when people are saying that someone’s sad etc. I’ll be like, “Okay.”

I can relate to that. I was talking to some widows and widowers last night, and sometimes things happen. I’m like, “Did somebody die?” We can all baseline it as, do you have a possibility of turning that around? It’s not stuck right there. The ultimate has not happened. 

It’s right. Just to give some insight. Some people ask, “How can they do that to you? You’re such a good person.” They didn’t do anything to me. They think they did something to me. It’s a mindset. I’m not saying that this is what I would tell these people, that this is the answer to your question of, how do I explain to someone who’s going through a very similar thing? Once you come through that storm, you will come through this storm. 

It’s like you’re just going to be sitting here with no umbrella and the rain is just pouring down on you and you have this pneumonia. That’s what it feels like, but that’s not what it is. When that reality sets in, you’re not alone. That the pain does not get any better. It’s not going to get any better. Today, it’s not any better. I’m just stronger in the storm to where I don’t need the umbrella.

Son And Husband

When your son passed, what did that look like for you mentally, and how long before you were able to turn through that storm?

I don’t think that I’ve lived long enough. It’s not gone. 

Do you feel the same way now that you felt then? 

Absolutely.

Do you recall what it felt like then? 

It feels like how it feels right now. Like I have a loss and it hurts.

Did you just return to work or what was your transition back? 

No. Some people have some serious gains from what happened to me. I have an aunt that I cannot talk to today because of what she did. The transition of my husband, marriage, and I had deteriorated. Pretty much my babies can either make or break a marriage and it broke mine up because we did not see eye to eye. He could not relate to my pain at all. Now with the babies outside of me, I’m feeling like he’s not as supportive as he could have been. Would you believe this year is the first time he and I spoke about it? 

I can, I can believe that because what you mentioned is that when one spouse is not able to relate to another spouse’s pain, they seem to discount it. They don’t value it. They don’t recognize it. They say something’s wrong with them. They’re doing too much. Instead of just coming to terms, this is how they feel. 

You are the mom who carried these babies. They were inside of you. Your loss can show up differently than somebody else but when people are both grieving, the tension of my grief is different than your grief. The pull of that is challenging. When you’re married, it is very complicated and can be destructive as you said. 

I want to say the whole reason why we got married is because I had two children before my set of twins. I think that the reason we got married was because I got pregnant to begin with. I think part of that has something to do with it and even though I was asked to marry him before getting pregnant, I still want to say that that’s what his goal was. Now here he was without his daughter because he had two girls and I had two girls. This was our first son. Since then, he has had other children and has renamed and given our son’s name to one of his children.

How did that sit with you? 

Not well at all.

I can see that.

Nor did it sit well with his girls or anybody else in this family that we created. It does not fit well with anyone in the family. Even his mother, God rest her soul, loved me and did not appreciate that happening. I went back to work. They gave me my job, got together, and got a love offering. Three of my aunts gave me a hundred dollars apiece. 

I remember sitting at a window and looking out of the window. I remember it going from morning until night and me not know if I ate or even used the bathroom. That’s that brain fog that you’re talking about. I know I did not use the bathroom by myself. I know I must have eaten something. I can’t tell you what it was. I can’t tell you what time it was. I remember just looking out a window and just not living. To be quite honest.

One day, maybe this will answer that question yet, I just remember saying, “He wouldn’t want you to be sitting like this. You were his mom.”

And you started to live again. 

I think that’s what happened. The pain doesn’t go anywhere though, it just moves around. 

Did you do anything that people would say as far as managing your grief or coming to terms with that you just kept living? 

Correct. 

I think that it is what most people are trained to do. We often don’t give ourselves space to grieve. 

I don’t think I wanted it. 

Why is that? I think that for me, and I know that that’s possible. I know some people need that. I’m not disagreeing with this is a part of life that somebody should do but to my understanding, I know and understand that part of living is to die. If you don’t have that understanding, some people need extreme counseling. 

Some people need a little counseling. Some people don’t have a problem communicating with others and talking to others and that’d be a temporary counselor for the moment. They don’t need to have sessions but I think everybody at one point has counseling, whether it’s somebody that chose to sign up for the job or not. 

It’s the hairdresser, it’s the barber, or it’s the bartender, somebody getting that work, it’s your girlfriend, yes. 

You can sit there all day and say that counseling is not needed. I disagree with that. I think counseling is very needed. How you choose to get that counseling session is on you. People say, “You’re strong.” It’s not because I want to be, it’s cause I have to be. You have to put it in perspective. I had two little girls that I still had to take care of. They deserved their mother. My main purpose is about kids. How could mine not have? I just couldn’t. I needed to just say, “Look, girl, get out the window.” Do you know what I’m saying?

No one does not need counseling. Everyone needs it. Share on X

Yes, I’m going to put a pin about you being in a window and pick that up later, because I think that’s very interesting where things are now being in a window. 

Just sitting there in a window, ain’t reading nothing and not writing anything. People would say something to me, “Say my name.” This is what I’ve been told now. I don’t remember this. I remember getting shaken one time or two and being asked, “What is up? “What do you want?” Making sure that I didn’t take this out on anyone was my biggest thing.

My brother said to me, “How could you even still care about God? If he did that. If he took one of my kids, I think I would hate him.” “How could you still say that after what you were served.” He asked me that question on the day my son was being buried and I answered him with just as much confidence as I have today, “These are gifts from God. How could you hate a gift that you received? If it’s your time to no longer have that, I’m not promised tomorrow. My life is not promised to me tomorrow.” 

It’s simplistic, as what you were saying. We can’t control the growth of our fingernails. How can we control when somebody leaves? I think that when he said, “The reason why I’m going through it is because I can take it.” My response to him was, “You’re right. I’m not arguing with that.” I just looked back out that window.

Those are some things to ponder.

These are the cards that I was dealt. It says, “How can I complain about what’s on my plate when the whole purpose and goal is to eat.” 

I’ve never heard that term or that saying. It makes sense but I’ve just never heard that saying. 

I don’t I put that on there it’s in my own words and it’s just sitting there people share it all the time. I feel like that. I feel like if I have a plate this big and it’s got a whole bunch of food on it I can’t consume it because people have been putting this stuff on my plate. What if nobody put anything on my plate? What am I going to eat then? How can I complain about all of this stuff?

Don’t I have a choice to eat what I want to eat on this plate versus not having anything at all and having no choice? Some women couldn’t get pregnant to enjoy their kids for those moments. 

Valentine’s Day Baby

That is true. I want you to tell us after 2007. What memory do you recall the most in you starting to rebuild your life? What comes to mind?

Not being able to work at the same job. I worked back at my old job for a little while and, ironically, this interview is happening now. Little Ronnie was born on Father’s Day. June 18, 2007 was Father’s Day. This is the day before Father’s Day. The hardest thing that I think was when I left that job. I loved that job because I had been there for a long time, but it’s just that people couldn’t see me as the same person so I had to go. 

I want to say that he passed away in February of that year and when the holidays came around, it was, “I know that this is a hard time of year for you but I got you this card.” I didn’t need to hear all of those things. I just was looked at like the girl who lost her twins and it was hard. I could not tell you how frustrating it was to just be there trying to do my job, not having anything on my mind, and somebody brought it up. 

I can relate to that. When I went back to work after my husband died, I had a very public position where I worked. 5,000 people knew based on what I did as a job and when I came back, that feeling of, “It’s her.” “That’s the girl.” 

You could hear the whispers. 

Or the silence or the awkwardness or the weirdness. 

You could hear them talking, you came into the room and everybody suddenly became quiet. Why would you do that to people? That’s the rudest thing. 

I have learned that people just don’t know any better. We have not normalized grief. Even though you say that we all know that we need to live, we don’t do well dealing with someone who has experienced that great loss. We are horrible, which is why I started doing what I do. This podcast, the content I put out because more people are educated and more people talk about it. Somebody dying is just like somebody being born. 

We should honor their life when they’ve completed their mission here, just like we honor when they start but because we are horrible with that, and unfortunately is left to the people who have experienced that loss to educate other people because lo and behold, one day you going to lose somebody. You are not going to be on that end of the awkwardness, the weirdness, and the whispers. You want somebody to genuinely embrace you. I’m still me, this is an experience I’ve had, this is not who I am. 

Exactly, and just to put it into perspective. People who got pregnant didn’t want to say that they were pregnant with me. 

Yes, before our daughter was born, I had a miscarriage and that miscarriage was identified on my husband’s birthday. I had a little bit of spotting and I called the doctor and they said, “If it’s not such and such then just wait till your appointment because I had one in a week or so.” They did an ultrasound and the baby wasn’t there. I had to have a DNC. I remember sitting in the car, just devastated. 

We didn’t have phones like we do now. It was like when I saw him and to be able to talk about that and one of my dearest friends was pregnant and we were excited going to have double baby showers just all sorts of stuff and I remember how withdrawn and uncomfortable my presence made her and I did not go to her baby shower because I knew that people just couldn’t handle that.

You were the victim in the situation, but you feel like they’re the victim in your situation. 

Exactly, and that was my first experience with grief, realizing a great loss. That was my first great loss. This can be a very difficult conversation. 

I know, but I think it grows people inside and out. It’s a growth thing for not just yourself but also for others who are going to go through the very same thing because guess what? The sad part is that somebody else’s going to live this and they just don’t even know it yet. Then there’s something there to help that.

It is. Did you find another job? What was that and what did that look like for you? 

No. 

You left that job. 

I’m going to tell you what happened when I left that company. I was a medical billing encoder at the time and even to this day, after all these years, those twins would have almost graduated from high school right now. This is how long ago this happened. I can still tell you that an 88305 is a biopsy. That’s how many codes were in my head for how many years. 

I can tell you that 88142 was a pap smear, and 8141 is an interpretation of a pap smear. This is still here. This is information where I think I’m going to have Alzheimer’s because of the information that’s in my head that I can’t get rid of. It’s crazy but lo and behold, these people who did not want to talk about their pregnancies in front of me, I got pregnant.

That was another issue. She was not born here in Florence, which was the time I had lived here in Florence. I got pregnant and wanted to leave here because of the snickering that was already going on in a small town. I did not want to have my daughter here, but I did. I had her, she was born here in Florence, but I was searching for ways to get out of town. 

I did not want to be here and have to give birth to her in this area that we live in because of how small the town is and how everybody talks about everybody. It was hard being pregnant with her and then she was premature. You couldn’t tell it today with her smart, honor roll self. No handicapping, she was smiling the day she was born and moving her arms and legs like, “Hello, I’m here.”

She was still a preemie, a pound and three ounces was Lil Ronnie and here she was two pounds and some change, smiling. I asked, “Where’s her breathing machine?” Same me, cue doctors. They said, “This is a different situation.” I said, “She still looks the same smallness. What are you talking about?” “I could put her in this hand. What you mean is they’re in the same situation?” 

I’m terrified. He said, “No, the vitals are way different.” I said, “What are you talking about? She was not even as big as a soda bottle. This is fat compared to her.” He said, “She’s breathing on her own. She’s taking breast milk just fine, the one that you pumped for her. She’s sucking on a bottle. She’s smiling.” I said, “What are you telling me?” 

He said, “I can tell you undeniably that she’s going to leave this hospital soon with you. You all are going home.” I said, “Wow.” Do you want the kicker? She was born on Valentine’s Day. She was my love child. I’ll never forget it though. I’m going to tell you guys right now, 20 minutes earlier, she’d have been a Friday the 13th baby. She’d like to see the Chucky. I could see her. 

Nobody wanted that. Sorry for those that have them, but no, that’s not what you wanted after that. 

She’s as sweet as can be, I tell you right now, but she’s on that cuffs. I’m mad, I had her early and the nurse was like, “She’s cute.” I’m like, “Can I just have my baby? I want her to eat. The nurse say, “Yes, yes, she could have her.” But she’s not giving her to me. I’m like, “Got it.” I thought the lady was crazy. She gave me my baby finally. She’s smiling in my face, “Kiki. Do you know what day it is? Yes, it’s Saturday.” 

She’s a little girl too. She’s happier than me. I was there alone too and didn’t want to call anybody. I’m very upset. I’m mad she’s a premature baby. I’m scared she’s going to die. That’s where my heart was. Then I put her upon me and everything, because all three of my girls are breastfed babies and she’s suckling. I said, “Thank God she’s eating.” Right after they took her from me or whatever, I said, “Can I get a breast pump? I need to pump more milk.” 

I’m frantic about her. I’m just crying. Frantic. The same aunt that did me dirty came to the hospital and all I wanted her to do was leave. I remember that. I remember going to the store and getting creamy clothes and being scared to buy too much because scared that she wasn’t going to live. “No, have faith.” I grabbed 10 outfits. If she doesn’t let go, I’ll bring it back. Just hold the receipt. My mind is just wandering. 

You’ve been down this road, yes. 

Not once, but twice in one blow. It was a lot but lo and behold, she’s still here, 15 years old, just took her to school this morning. She’s a flag girl at Wilson High School. She is doing everything that you would think any other teenager is doing. She’s in her right grade, in her right mind. She is blessed and highly favored beyond measure. She’s been homeschooled on my truck for four years. She is doing it. She doing it all. All the things that I wish I could do when I was a teenager. She’s doing it. 

Do you feel like you still hover over her? 

No. Some people say I don’t hover enough.

She is enjoying her life and you are trusting God and being her mom. 

Exactly, she’s enjoying her life and when she’s not enjoying her life, if she doesn’t tell me, that’s fine, as long as she tells somebody. I’m here for her. She knows I’m here for her, that’s all I can do. 

Homeschooling

I want to pivot a little bit. I guess I’m going to make a big jump. You said that she’s in school and you said that you also homeschooled her. What was that pivot to be in a school versus homeschooling? What caused that shift for you and her? 

I started truck driving and it made sense when I decided to truck drive, but she didn’t have a Mama like the other two had their Mama and that was unfair to her. When I started truck driving, part of the reason was because of the pay and the unequal opportunity but the other part was, had I had my son, what would he be?

I decided that truck driving was perfect for me because I could do it in honor of him. It is because it was supposedly a man’s job.

How tall are you, girl? 

About five and a half. 

You’re a bit of a smaller statue, driving this big truck, that has to feel very powerful.

In times when I first started driving, but not now. It just feels like normal and there are way more women truck drivers now than it was when I first started. I’ve been a truck driver for seven years. 

Now you’re about to start teaching other people. 

I’m probably half the size I am now when I started. 

Now you’re about to become an instructor, which shows the knowledge and the information you’ve learned in this career and your level of expertise.

I’m about to be an instructor and I think it’s fitting. I was told that the thing that sold me for the position was me homeschooling my daughter on that truck for four years and her just picking right back up in public school like it wasn’t anything. She did graduate just fine this year. She didn’t even start the school year off with a full school year until she had just gone back to school in January 2024. 

She had a couple of months to catch up with the other students who had started in August and she surpassed some of those students to the tune where they were talking about skipping her to the 11th grade and I said, “No.”

That is a testament to your teaching skills. I could see how that could be relevant in the position you’re taking on. 

Thank you. 

Kidney Loss

You are welcome. I believe you experienced some additional health challenges in 2017. Can you share about that? 

The kidney loss. I had some kidney issues. I did not know why but I didn’t know what was going on with myself at the time when I started having these issues. People of color and that’s how I’m going to say it, because that’s what I was told. Most of us have one side of our kidneys that will stop growing at the age of between 8 to 12. 

Most of us can live our whole lives with this issue, but when one of your kidneys says that they’re done, they’ve had enough, and they don’t want to be in your body anymore, then the kidney has to be removed. The reason why they knew that this was the case is because when they took the kidney out, it was a very small kidney. It was the size of a child. 

I have learned this and I’m explaining it. You have two kidneys and I thought that you got kidneys, they work at 100%. They said, “That’s right.” Me and the doctor’s talking. I asked, “You’re saying because one kidney is working at like 90.” I’m almost 50, by the way, I don’t have a problem saying that I’m growing old gracefully, that’s what I’m saying. 

I’m 58, and I am fine with me.

I’m supposed to have 35% kidney function on one side and 35% on the other. When you have a set of kidneys, they work at 100%. That’s 50-50. I was like, “It’s not 100% on this side and 100%. He said, “No, that would be 200% function.” I said, “I got gotcha now. When you tell me that this kidney over here is working at 98%. That means this kidney then stopped working and this one’s been compensating for the other kidney that was a kid.

I said, “But I don’t have babies.” They said, “When you went for the ultrasound, they were looking at babies.” These are not people that specialize in kidneys so why would they know what they were looking at? This made me trust this doctor because all of that made sense. All of this stuff happened. COVID is happening. Talia’s getting on the truck. My kidney is leaving me. That plate I told you about is getting fuller and fuller and fuller. I can’t eat all of this. I got to eat some of it. 

Which part of this plate can I eat? That’s where my mind is at. Please remember, 11 years prior, these twins had left me. That’s still there. It’s still there today. It was there then. It will be there tomorrow. It’ll be there tomorrow. The day I die, I’m going to think about these. These are my life, these are still my children. They’re not going anywhere. Just because they’re not here doesn’t mean they’re not in here. They’re always there. Their birthdays come and this is what I feel every birthday. 

Do you celebrate their birthday? 

I do not. It’s just my thing.

Book And TikTok

In 2017, some other things happened that are very important or a good part of your life now. I am going to talk about a book that you have written and share about that. We may not get to all of my little notes here, but I want to read, the book My TikTok Journey, Stay Woke. It lists your social media and the information will be in the show notes. 

I want to read about the author and then I’m going to read the content and then I’m going to read some excerpts and I just want you to expound on those from your perspective. “About the author, my TikTok name is Mel4yah. Mel has been my nickname for as many years as I can remember. And Yah is for Yahweh. No, I do not have a halo over my head.  I’m just led by God, for God.

I’m a regular person, just like you. I’m humbled and honored that you have chosen to purchase this book. I humbly thank you in advance for reading this book and wish you success on your TikTok journey. The content before my TikTok journey in the beginning, my first time going live, my birthday, the chase, think Mel, think what you need to know today. Community guidelines and conclusions.” Go ahead and expound on that part far. 

I only gave a very small part about me because I need people to understand that when it comes to religion, no one has a wrong religion. My Mom taught me that whether you read the Holy Quran, the Holy Bible, practice Buddhism, or whatever it is. It’s about your relationship with God. I don’t have a religion. What people say, Jehovah, Yahweh, or Buddha. Everybody has those different things. It’s not about the religion. 

No one has a wrong religion. Share on X

Again, Yahweh is just beautiful. I like the phrase of it. It’s the whole concept of it. My email address is Mel4Yah since I was 17and I don’t care if it’s Hotmail, Yahoo, or Google. If you put it there, I’m going to get it. Mel4Yah . When it comes to God, I have a relationship with God, and I believe in no consequence or boundary ways. There is no wrong way to have your spirituality.  I don’t include a lot of my spirituality in there because that’s my personal space. That’s what I mean. 

I’m going to read this. “I have been a truck driver since 2017. I’m a Mom of three beautiful girls. At the time she was in fifth grade, of course, I felt the need to monitor her online access. Besides, I was bitter about the app that caused issues between me and my daughter. My daughter was upset. I had taken her TikTok access. 

I did. I could not monitor her with that thing and drive and teach her and I could not. I told her no TikTok. I just could not put my mind around all these cute dances that she was doing. My mind went to what pervert was looking at my child. I don’t know how many people are on that thing. I don’t know enough about it. No TikTok. My Mom bounced those in that direction. I don’t know anything about that. Then I found out adults were on there. I did remember seeing kids do their little cute dances or whatever. You know how little girls are doing their hips and moving their hands? No TikTok for her. 

Now in 2023. Let’s talk about 2023. I’ve been, and you just spoke about this. “I began experiencing negative health problems and I lost a kidney.” 

It’s gone now, that point is gone. 

“I was terrified I was no longer the owner or operator of my truck and this job is all that my daughter and I had to rely upon.” 

I hurt my shoulder at work and the company that I work for I think I’m just a number to them. That’s all. Just like any other job, if you’re not able to do the jobs and you need to find something else but at the time when I applied for the position, the position was truck driver, not maintenance, not clean. I applied for the job because I could do the job. I drive in a foreign-type truck where I don’t drive on the driver’s side. You drive on the passenger side. 

It was a skill that I had to acquire too, because remember, I’m used to driving an 18-wheeler. This vehicle, which is now shorter, still can haul 80,000 pounds. It’s a trash truck and it has an automatic side load. I think the arm grabs trash. It dumps it above your head, put things back down. The truck is doing everything. 

Why would I have to climb behind the blade and shovel out whatever falls behind the other side of that blade and my shoulder went out on me? I’m sitting in a guard shack and I’m on my phone, just all these different social media, IG, FB, and all this other stuff. I’m looking and people started sending me stuff from TikTok. I find it cute and entertaining. 

Did your daughter know you were on TikTok? When did she find out you were participating in the TT world?

When I started finally getting into going live in the teenage world, I’m going to say it how she said it, “TikTok? Really, Ma?” “What are you doing on TikTok Mom?” “I don’t want to hear it.” She went into her room, she closed her door. I don’t think she came out for about an hour later, but she was seriously upset. 

I’m upset for her. When I was reading this, I said, “This is the part about why her daughter was upset. Mel is very much on TikTok. Mel went from shutting her daughter down to spending quite a significant amount of time on TikTok. Then this chapter, in the beginning, I thought to myself, “Wow, someone that didn’t know me responded to me. That was nice. I watched a few more of her videos and in one of her videos, she jumped out and sang a song called, Have you seen my boyfriend?”

I don’t know if you know who I’m talking about. Can I shout people out on here? 

Shout people out, yes. Not to dog anybody out. 

No, this is a good shout-out. Her name is Evlore. She is the fashionista of TikTok in my eyes, one of the best. She’s honestly extremely adorable and also lives in New York. She’s from Haiti and she just jumps out from behind this wall and says, have you seen my boyfriend? “Is she asking all of us? Have we seen her boyfriend? I don’t even know the song, but it was a song. 

She starts dancing and she’s an adult. I’m grooving to it. It’s cute. A couple more times I see her show, she’s trying to save money for me to dress nice and be in fashion. I thought, “I could do something like that.” Then she showed up in my hometown and talked about how beautiful it was. I said, “That’s a sign.” Did that make sense? Maybe I should. It went from, “Maybe” to “I can do this.” 

“And it went to having a little over 400 followers and then you were told at that time, I would not be able to open my camera, AKA go live, until I had a thousand followers. At that time, I did not see this as possible.”

No, I thought a thousand people that like me? Me. Look, truck driving, just got hurt at the job. Again, I lost my twins. That’s always there. Life for me as they say, a box of chocolates, it’s had thorns in it. Life’s been hard. I don’t remember where I read it because I read much. I can’t tell you the exact authors and things like that, but it was talking about the road, how it was paved with all of these things that hurt your feet. 

The concept of how bloody your feet can be at the end of this road, but what people don’t realize is that the road is paved with diamonds. You don’t even know yet, you get to the end and it’s hurt your feet, but your feet ain’t bleeding. You just happen to be walking across this road and the road was just paved with all these diamonds and you didn’t see them there. All of these things that you’ve been through make who you are. Maybe somebody, somewhere.

When people come into my room and I go live, I tell people, how do they get successful like me? It’s very easy. Be yourself, your authentic self. Somebody somewhere is just like you who wants to be and hang out with you. Sometimes I run out of boxes but I love them all. They’re all there. They’re the ones who are there to support me and they want to be there for me. 

The key to being successful is just be yourself. Share on X

I had to let that happen, which I’m not used to. If that makes sense. I’m used to being the supporter, not the one supported. I was talking to her, the lady that I’m talking to you about, have you seen my boyfriend? I’m giving her shout-outs and I’m lifting her and stuff like that. Now she comes back and does this for me. I ask, “Me?” 

“Going back to, since your sister was here, that place of you sacrificing for other people. It’s talking about how you care and want to connect with these people. Now I have enough followers and I’m now over 2,000 the next day. Yes, I quadrupled my following. However, TikTok only left me following back 100 people a day at this point and people are now unfollowing me because I’m in TTJ.” 

To those of you who wonder, there’s a lot of skipping in there. TTJ is something serious. There is a thing called TTJ. If you’re interested in doing TikTok, you have to get the book because she left some things out and she can’t read the whole book but I will tell you, keep out of  TTJ. Stay out of there. You all don’t want to be in TTJ. There are different levels of jail. 

This is not in the book. I’m going to give you all some information in part two because I do have another book that’s going to come out. Like there’s a county jail, there’s a city jail, there’s a prison, and there’s death row. That’s when you’re banned. I promise you right now, there are different levels of TTJ. If you want to have a successful TikTok story, just stay out of all those places and grow slowly. I didn’t, I should have. Let me be the sacrificial lamb for you, because this is not okay. It’s not okay to be in TTJ. 

I’ve been there on the first level, like the lower level of TTJ I’ve been in. “My first slide would be my first impression. I would ask my African queen sisters questions daily, and they were very helpful on my journey.

Yes, they gave a lot of good information. They were gatekeeping a little bit, but I had to try to read between certain lines. 

“I was almost done with my third day when out of nowhere, the grow host showed up and threw three I love you virtual gifts on my screen.”

He was cute. Let me break this down for a second. Cute is fine. Cute is nice. The fine is fine, all these other things. Babies and monkeys are cute, but you don’t do anything, they’re just cute. That’s how cute he was, okay? 

“Here it was my birthday. To my surprise, total strangers gifted me a total of $360 in virtual gifts.” 

Yes, ma’am. I felt horrible about that. It was fun getting them, but when I went back to look at the roster and didn’t know any of those people, it surprised me. I’m still quite surprised about that. They don’t know you from nothing. If they don’t get the book, they won’t know me. 

We’re going to get into something more of the reason on how you came about the information writing the book. “Like my grandparents used to say, “If you want to hide something, put it in a book or writing.” I felt myself wondering what was being hidden. What was the big secret? I began a mission for myself to stop asking questions and read, yes, read and read everything.”

Everything. There are question marks all over that platform. There’s information everywhere inside that platform. To be walking around TikTok streets, and if you read the book, you’ll know what I mean when I say that. I don’t want to go into all that. I will say, that if you are walking around those TikTok streets and you’re not reading anything and you’re just taking what people say for the truth, you will get had in TikTok. 

If you browse TikTok without reading anything and just taking what people say, you will take great losses Share on X

You will take great losses. You will not have a good experience with what is supposed to be something gamey and entertaining. You will not get a good experience. If you’re wanting to monetize on TikTok, find me. I’m not out to get you for anything you got. I just want you to be successful. I don’t care for people scamming people. There are scammers in there.

I said it in the book, the same people who you see outside of TikTok are inside of TikTok. Even the ones that you see on the street begging you for money, have the governmental phones. That means they can have a TikTok. From beggars to the richest person, you could never imagine meeting inside of TikTok. Just keep that in mind when you’re walking those TikTok streets. 

“There was a time I landed myself in a room where I was in a two-cape box match and no one would help me. I thought the matches were just for fun.” 

Yes, I did and it was not fun. Not one coin. I don’t know how many followers, not one person would throw a rose in that box. Not one rose. You don’t have the support you think you have when nobody would throw just a simple rose in your box. That’s massive to me that all these other people were getting gifted but nobody was throwing anything inside of my box. This is after my birthday. How is it possible that during a birthday event, you got thousands of people walking past, you just throwing gifts at you because it’s your birthday, but now you’re sitting there in a supposed to be fun box match, and you know nobody throwing anything at you? You’re just sitting there.

“Please note, your diamond status doesn’t mean you’re rich financially.” 

That’s right. That has nothing to do with it. Your diamond status means absolutely none of that. It just means how you spend your coins, not necessarily how much coins you spend. If you and I both had $10 and I bought 10,000 roses but you bought a confetti is worth 100. An exclusive confetti is worth more than a regular confetti. It teaches you things like responsibilities of where to invest your money. 

If you invest your coins wisely, your diamond status will rise but if you have the same amount of coins, depending on how someone else does it, if you were to spend your coins and you got confetti and a money gun, and maybe you boosted up somebody’s gift gallery. You are doing it perfectly right, you’ll level up and your diamond status will be at a five. I’m still sitting at one.

I know you guys want to know what diamond status is, but not right now. “If you’re looking for someone who was going to do the research and find out the accurate and current answers, someone who was honest, genuine, and caring about your outcome, you have found a solution with Team WOKED.” I think your team and what that acronym stands for correlates with who you have been in your life and to be able to enough sharing of the book. 

Perfect. Team WOKED is a community that I started inside of TikTok. The acronym stands for Winning On Kindness Every Day. We do just that. I had 52 nuggets and I think somebody took them today because they thought that we were rich and it’s like, “No, we were just leveling up our league.” He was an A1. I am a B2 right now. He was in Australia. 

Yes, you can talk to people in other countries on this app and he’s a, “Get her guys” and he’s got 30-something thousand when it’s over and I think I’m sitting on 2000 and some change and he’s like, “She’s got a snipe.” “No, we’re not snipping.” It was funny at the time. Everybody in the group is upset. I’m not, it’s a game. He was like, “Where’s your swipe?” “We didn’t have one.” 

He then told me I was the first person that he’d ever gotten 52 nuggets out of. I’m impressed with that. That told me a lot about who I am, which I did. I am the leader of the group called Team Woke. We are Winning On Kindness Every Day. I don’t want to have anything to do with anything negative. It’s a peaceful environment. 

It’s going to be where if you’re looking for certain things, you will be able to come. On that platform, my name is Mel4yah. You’ll see an American flag. It’ll say that I am a networker. I am not a growing host. I’m growing to know the platform, understand the game, save you some coins, and build whatever you’re trying to build up to in TikTok. 

That’s all I’m there for. If you need more than that, it’s probably not the right fix or combination. If you want to do something positive, and correct, and not be scamful, we’re there for you. We’ve got a lot of networkers in there, real estate, or financial, any type of things that you’re trying to do, business-wise is in there, counseling is in there, and now we have spiritual coaching there. Just get to know each other. 

You don’t want, in a nutshell, a bunch of people following you who are not going to be there to support what you’re trying to do on the platform. What you want is a community of people who’ve grown to love, know you, and respect you where you’re at without judging you. If you don’t have that, they’re not woke. They’re still sleeping. 

Shared Experience

Thank you for being willing to share your authentic journey, it sounds as if your plate is becoming full of a lot of things that you want to take off of it. From the new job that’s coming, the people that you have authentically created a relationship with on something that you banned your daughter from. That is now something that you spend a great deal amount of time on. It just shows that we do carry our losses, but we do continue to live and create a life we enjoy. Let me add before this, any questions of me, I’ve asked you a lot of questions. 

I don’t think it’s a question, I think it’s more of a statement. I want you to keep doing what you’re doing. It includes you in that book for a reason. You, to me, have a very hard assignment and you carry it out well with such grace and much voice. I lift you because I’m one of those people who people should not talk to directly one-on-one unless they are challenged with what you have. I don’t entertain conversations like this with everyone because I think it’s a waste of time. 

Let me tell you why. It’s only a waste of time because it doesn’t benefit either party. If you’re just being nosy. My grandmother said that it’s considered gossip if you don’t have a purpose for trying what you’re doing. I just want to encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing because I am sending people your way all the time because people are leaving here all the time. I don’t trust that with a lot of people and I trust that with you. I do. I trust that with you. 

I know that your sincerity means a whole lot compared to a lot of other people, they’re not all that sincere, they’re in it for different reasons. I think that everything has its cause and effect and season. I’m going to tell you what I told a lot of other people when they said to write this book. I can tell you all these things, what you have to do. The number one thing you have to do is it can’t be put in a bottle, it can’t be put on paper. You have to care about other people and I feel like you do that. 

I do. I know this is my life mission and this is my way of serving humanity. 

Amen. It’s helping me, I’ll tell you that because I’ve had people ask me if I want to talk about it or if could I talk about it. I’ve told them, no. I’ve had people come to me and ask me where can they go. I didn’t have anyone before you came into my room but I don’t want to be their person. I’m a networker. I can tell you where to go. 

I’ll stop. I’ll show for somebody grieving because I know how important that is and how it feels. Sometimes people just need to talk and be heard, not necessarily be given advice. They’re at their moment. I remember walking around the PQ, and I remember seeing other mothers lose their children. I remember thinking and saying to even some others, “I could just imagine what that feels like.” “My condolences.” “I’m sorry.” 

All these wonderful things that people say when you lose someone you love. I remember this. I was around a bunch of women who were losing their children in these neonatal units for seven and a half months. I want to stress that. That’s a long time to be in bondage to a situation where daily babies are dying. 

Not every once in a while a baby would die. Every day a child, it became almost like I knew what to say immediately to someone because this made this one feel comfortable or this made this person feel better. I remember saying, “I can just imagine, I’m sorry.” Then it happened to me. I got to tell you, I was way far off.

Episode Wrap-up

It is much different when you were in that position and it does have the opportunity for you to have empathy and to be able to show up for people in a way that is authentic because you have traveled down a similar road. I appreciate that. I would like you to close this conversation, and wrap it up. Maybe there’s something you thought we would cover that we didn’t or something you’d like to share. I want you to wrap up this discussion with our readers. 

I will give you something that I will tell people all the time who talk to me. I am asked a very simple question. There are two questions that I will encourage the readers to answer for themselves. The first one is, what is the most important thing that God has gifted you with in your life? Mine happens to be time. It’s the one thing I spend that I can’t get any more of. 

If you came in here and you started reading from beginning to end, I appreciate you for taking the time to know my story. I want you to know that you could have been anywhere else, but you chose to sit here and read everything from the beginning to the end, or even just a part of it. You may just happen to end up in this part of me saying, “Thank you.”

Time is the most precious thing because when you spend it, you can’t get any more of it. I had to do 12 when I was 12, 21 when I was 21, and forth. You took this little bit of time and said, “I’m going to read this morning.” With that being said, now that you know that time is the most precious thing to me, I’m going to give you something. 

Time is the most precious thing. If you spend it, you cannot get more of it. Share on X

Think to yourself, what is the difference between you and a horse, the grass that grows outside, or the bees that are out here collecting nectars to make fruit happen? What’s the difference between you and them? My answer is if you want to pause, pause and think about that for a second. When you come back, this is what I will tell you. The most important thing that I was blessed with from everything else I have is the understanding that the difference between me and them is that they have instinct and I’m human and it’s a fact of learned behavior.

What that means is, if you want to become whatever you want to in life, you can. You just need to hang around those types of people. Don’t reinvent the wheel. Don’t do it. Take a piece of paper, and write it down, one through ten. When you get to your tenth thing, restart another list. All you have to do is hang around the right people and learn how to become yourself. 

You take a little bit from me, you could take a little bit from Tina, and all of a sudden, the puzzle pieces are put together and it’s you. I may not be the most beautiful woman on the outside. I’m not ugly, but I’m not the most beautiful. I’ve seen some gorgeous women but on the inside, when I look at myself, I’m the most beautiful woman I ever met. Have a good day. 

Thank you for being here. 

Important Links:

• Shamel Mouzon – LinkedIn
• My TikTok journey, Stay Woke – Book
• Mel4yah – TikTok 
• Mel4Yah – Linktree