Aside from dealing with grief after losing the love of your life, there is also the burden of sorting out your possessions, primarily your home. Jose Reyes Jr., a realtor with REMAX and a widower, is here to discuss how to handle a home sale and purchase after your spouse dies. He explores practical advice on handling these real estate deals, which is sometimes made more complicated because of the owner’s widowhood background. Jose also explains the importance of being financially prepared, prioritizing empathy at all times, and embracing self-compassion when dealing with the legal aspects of letting go or acquiring your own home. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Tips You Need To Sale And Purchase A Home After Your Spouse Dies With Jose Reyes Jr. Our guest Jose is a realtor and a widower. The information that he has to share with you is vital. Have you ever thought you knew the first thing you need to consider about selling the health that you own with your late spouse? What he shared with me is not what I thought it was going to be but it’s golden and the advice that he gives younger him is priceless. Let’s get into this conversation now.         Jose, welcome to the show. Thank you. I’m glad to be part of it. When you hear welcome to the widowhood, if I were to see the ticker tape that no one can see. What were the first officer coming to your mind? Home, honestly. Becoming a widow was a very traumatic experience. Guys experience it differently than women do but one of the things that maybe I did right was that I jumped on to Facebook and I found widow groups. It’s what I felt like as I spoke to more widows online and male widows and female widows and just read their stories. It’s like I feel homes. Widowhood is not necessarily a bad thing if you could find fellow widows that get it and that’s one thing. I had a conversation with a widow and she was freaking out. She’s a client of mine. She was apologizing because in her view, she went off on me. She was a little more aggressive than most people but I was like, “Understand, I’m a widow. I get it.” I can feel her tone drop. Us widows have to give each other’s slack because we’re going through a lot and sometimes our emotions don’t make sense. If you’re another widow and you’re seeing someone freak out and you know a widow. Tell them, “I get it.” You don’t have to analyze them or fix them. Celebrating Yve’s Memory Those words go a long way. When you say you are a widower, what year did you become a widow? I became a widow in 2018. My wife and best friend and I say that literally because I was an introvert and didn’t have many friends. She and one of the person on the planet knew all my dirt. They knew the good and the bad. For some reason, they love me anyway. It was my one of my best friends. I’ve known him since elementary school and my wife. Those are two people that knew me inside out and upside down. The journey began in 2016 because that’s when we found out that she had cancer. She had a rare form of breast cancer and it didn’t show up as a lump. It grew as sheets. It was hard to detect. She did mammograms every year. She did everything she was supposed to do and then just one year, the year we’re moving from Gainesville to Tampa to be closer to her family. The doctor calls us in and says, “Something’s not right. It’s detected and notice something.” They didn’t like what they noticed. They couldn’t find a lump but we’re going to do a biopsy anyway. When the biopsy came back 13 of 16 lymph nodes were contaminated with cancer. She was not only diagnosed with cancer. She was diagnosed stage 4. What’s your wife’s name, if you don’t mind sharing it with us? Yvette, but everybody knew her as Yve. Anybody that the knew her knew her as Yve. She was bubbly, funny, and shy maybe and also a little bit insecure but people that were around her wouldn’t know it because she has so much personality. She was so happy and friendly. Me and maybe a couple of other people we knew this satire side of her. By and large, she just loved life. She wanted to make sure that everybody around her felt happy, safe and the freedom to just be themselves. How did you and Yve met? The inside joke is that it was in arranged marriage but let me explain that. When we were both about 17 and maybe turning on 18, my dad had a candy truck back in the day. This was before food trucks were cool. This was in the ‘80s, but in New York, it was a thing there. I worked there for many years then one year in my high school year, I get to the truck and meet up with my dad because I worked after school then there’s this girl in the truck. I’m like, “What’s going on here?” My dad’s like, “She’s the sister of a friend. She’s going to be working with us.” I’m like, “Okay.” Mind you, I am a recovering introvert. Very shy. I like my private space and all of a sudden, there’s somebody else