coping with loss Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

Grief Is Not Linear: Jackie Disch On Love, Loss & Living With Grief

Podcast / June 25, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Jackie Disch | Grief

Grief isn’t a destination you arrive at; it’s a companion that changes alongside you. If you’ve felt the weight of loss, you know that the journey is rarely a straight line—it is complex, unpredictable, and deeply personal. In this moving conversation, author Jackie Disch joins us to discuss her powerful memoir, Losing Katy: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Living Grief. Together, we explore the raw, beautiful, and non-linear reality of losing her wife, Katy. Jackie introduces the concept of “living grief”—a framework that invites us to move beyond the pressure to “get over it” and instead learn how to integrate our loss into our daily lives. From the exhaustion of the early days to the shifting tides of memory and the importance of creating quiet spaces for healing, Jackie’s reflections offer a gentle, manageable path forward for anyone navigating the depths of sorrow. Whether you are in the early stages of widowhood or years into your journey, this episode is an invitation to honor your love while navigating the complexities of life after loss. Join us as we explore how to find authentic connection and quiet strength even when life feels overwhelming. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here

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Unfiltered Moments Of Grief: Love, Loss, And Memory With Shundra Chamberliss

Podcast / July 31, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Shundra Chamberliss | Moments Of Grief

In a world where loss leaves echoes, how do we navigate the labyrinth of memory? Join us as Shundra Chamberliss bravely confronts the hidden corners of grief, where the past intertwines with the present in unexpected ways. Discover how life’s diverse experiences shape our sorrow and what happens when grief is complicated by more than just the absence of a loved one. Get ready for a candid conversation that will explore the power of unlocking buried memories and the profound impact of our moments of grief. This is widowhood, unfiltered. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Unfiltered Moments Of Grief: Love, Loss, And Memory With Shundra Chamberliss My guest, Shundra, has information to share that’s going to blow your mind. The idea that our memories can be hidden, and the desire to want to unlock them when we lean into our grief. How do different experiences in our lives impact our grief? What is a grief that’s complicated by more than just the passing of a loved one? Let’s get into this candid conversation. Hello, Shundra. Welcome to the show. Thank you. What do you think about Welcome to the Widowhood? When you heard that, what was the ticker tape across your forehead that I couldn’t see? The Impact Of Grief & Loss The first thing that came to mind was family and community. When you say that, I feel relaxed. I feel like I’m at home. I love that. I’m going to share something you shared with me when I first started this show. I remember you asking me, “Is that for anybody that’s dealing with loss?” I said, “Absolutely,” because it is family. I’m glad that you picked up on that part because grief and loss are a universal experience. If we’re fortunate enough to have lived a life where we had someone we love, then that was a gift. Living life in their absence is a lot of work. Even to be able to talk about this, I feel the emotions come on because I need them. I need the release. Some things we hold are bottled up, and we don’t even know we are doing it. I feel tense. Thank you for sharing that, because that tension does arise when it comes to our loved ones. There’s also something very interesting that you talked about with that release, and knowing that the talking, the crying, and the release are on the other side of that. Can you remember a time when you cried or addressed something, and that weight was lifted? If so, can you share that with us? That’s hard because I haven’t talked about my grief with anyone. I’ve talked with people about their grief, and I was very supportive of their grief. When you talk to somebody about their grief, I personally don’t like to add my grief to theirs because I don’t want to downplay what’s going on with them. I never get a chance to talk about it. This is the first time that I’m able to get whatever is inside because I don’t even know what I’m going to say. I’m waiting for you to ask the question. You joined me on a live, and we had a bit of a conversation. You’ve got to share there. How was that for you? That was good. When somebody else is talking, it makes me remember. I don’t know if you have sporadic times when you don’t remember stuff. For me, it’s because of the trauma that I’ve learned to suppress. I’m having a hard time remembering my childhood and the times with my mom because I learned to push it down. We do learn to push it down, but it does not go away. It doesn’t go away, but I keep pushing it. I feel like it has piled up. What has made you decide you’re done with pushing it down? I am in the place of my life where I’m getting ready to step into a new level of my life, like another stepping stone. It was this one stepping stone in particular when my daughter was sixteen and pregnant. The first thing I did was pick up the phone to call my mother, only to find a man answering on the other side. It dawned on me that my mom is not here. This is another stepping stone. I’m thinking about her. I’m thinking about her advice. I’m thinking about what she would say about my decisions and where I’m going. I’m remembering the things that she said I would do. I wanted to celebrate and hear her congratulations for me. That makes a lot of sense. How old were you when your mother passed? I was 36, about to be 37. Thank you for sharing that. Your mom’s name? Ruth. When Ruth passed, somebody said, “At least you were an adult by the time your mom passed.” You hear different things people say to the bereaved. Someone said, “You were 36 when your mom passed. You should be okay.” What is your gut response to that if it were unfiltered? I’m not going to be mean. What is the real answer if it were unfiltered? You happen to bump into each other at the grocery store, and somebody goes, “Don’t you love the month of May?” You go, “My mom passed this month,” and they go, “How old were you when your mom passed?” You say, “36.” It’s like, “You should be fine already.” If you didn’t have to filter that, what would you say? I’d

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Voices Of The Grieving Heart: From Heartbreak To Healing With Mike Bernhardt

Podcast / June 12, 2025

Today, we’re honored to sit down with Mike Bernhardt, editor of Voices of the Grieving Heart—an extraordinary anthology of poetry, essays, and artwork created by 83 individuals from around the world. These aren’t polished poems from literary giants—they are raw, real expressions from people navigating the depths of grief and the slow rise toward healing. Mike isn’t just an editor—he’s lived this loss. After the sudden passing of his first wife over 30 years ago, his life was forever changed. In this deeply moving conversation, Mike opens up about the journey from devastation to transformation, and how writing—his own and others’—can be a light in the darkest of times. Whether your grief is fresh or decades old, this conversation will meet you where you are. Let’s step into this space together. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Voices Of The Grieving Heart: From Heartbreak To Healing With Mike Bernhardt Our Guest is Mike Bernhardt. He is the Editor of Voices of the Grieving Heart and anthology of poetry about grieving the death of the people we love. Eighty-three people from around the world contributed poetry, essays, and artwork to share their journey through loss, grief, transformation, and healing. Mike is a Certified Greek Educator and has volunteered as a grief support facilitator. The poems that he is going to share in this book are going to let you know that you are not alone. There are different ways in which the people that are sharing their stories about their loved ones, but these homes are so heartfelt. Not about being a super great poet, but just being able to express your feelings. You will hear your voice is in these poems. Let’s get into this conversation now. Mike, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. You say thank you for having me. When you hear welcome to the widowhood, if there was a ticker tape across your head, what am I not seeing that you thought of instantly hearing that? It’s just good to be here to be able to share my experiences and my book, but just my experience of grief. If that can help somebody, then I’m glad to share it here. Thank you for that. When you say your experience of grief, what is that predominantly related to? Mike’s Personal Grief Journey and Its Impact The most recent experience, was my mother’s death in May 2024. The biggest one for me was my first wife, when she died in 1991 April 7th. We’ve been married for seven years. I was 34 when she died and she was 31 and devastating as anyone who’s lost spouse can probably imagine. It is. Seemed like that much time is passed when you say those numbers or what does that look like for you? Yes and no. It is a long time. I was half as old as I am now. In fact, I’m now at the point where pretty much she’s been gone more time than I was alive when she died. Those are weird things to track, but I seem to do that. When you say weird things to track, for me, I feel like my late husband’s passing is the benchmark, I say, was it before or after Mark’s passing the light that had become a timeline. Can you relate to that? Yes, because my whole life changed and not just temporarily. They were permanent changes in the way I wanted to live my life after she died. It took time to get there. It’s like the meteor that killed off the dinosaurs. It’s like the whole world changed when my wife died. It was very sudden and she died pretty much overnight. It was a very unexpected thing. She was born with a congenital heart problem. Strangely, on our first date, she told me all about it. We talked for hours the whole thing. I knew what I was getting into, but she was very vivacious and just live life to the best that she could. It was a pretty serious problem, but it didn’t affect her attitude. We figured she had decades that she wouldn’t live to be an old woman, but we figured she’d lived into her 60s, then she started to have some issues. She took a new medication to deal with some fibrillation problems. A lot of people, I’m sure know what atrial fibrillation is, but she had a bad reaction to that medication. She had a ventricular fibrillation, which is not good. That’s like cardiac arrest territory. We took her to the hospital. I was there all night. I went home in the morning just to get a little sleep. Some friends of mine stayed with her and soon as I got home, I got a call that she’d passed. Thank you for sharing that, and you said your life changed dramatically. Someone reading this, they’re going, “That’s a long time ago. It probably wasn’t that bad.” What would you say to them in that statement? I would say it was that bad. It was like the whole world crashed out from under me. We were close. We loved each other. We thought we had plenty of time and then she was gone. I didn’t know how was I even going to live, let alone find happiness again. What were those steps for you in finding out how to live again? It was time, but not just time. It was time combined with letting my grief take me where it was going to take me. I was fortunate.

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Evaluating The Realities Of Widowhood With Joi Brooks

Podcast / December 19, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Joi Brooks | Widowhood

Before embarking on a new chapter in life, many face the profound and often isolating experience of widowhood. In this poignant episode, Joi Brooks shares her deeply personal journey through widowhood, reflecting on her life after the loss of her husband, Harry. With humor and heart, she navigates the complexities of adjusting to a new routine while cherishing the memory of Harry and the little things that remind her of him, like his t-shirts and quirks around the house. Joi talks about the challenges of balancing work, retirement, and the grief of losing a partner. This episode offers a moving look at resilience, loneliness, and the quiet joys of continuing to honor a lost love. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Evaluating The Realities Of Widowhood With Joi Brooks Joi, welcome back. How are you? It’s winter. Winter is starting to kick in here in Virginia, but what does it look like? It’s a heated blanket. It keeps me warm. I’m in my office and it tends to get a little chilly because I’m just sitting here. Are you in New York? I’m in New York. What’s the temperature like now for you? The temperature is 36 degrees. We are doing this on a Thursday night and this is my actual last conversation for 2024. Whereby, it’s only going to get colder. Yes. It is a bit nippy in Virginia, but it was that cold and I was told the coming week is supposed to be in the 60. Good for you. We’ll get like 40s but it was very windy. It was 36 degrees and it was very windy. I was out with the dogs walking and I thought, “I can’t wait to get home.” I can hear the wind outside now. How many dogs do you have? Three. That’s what happens when you become a widow and you don’t have a social community around you. You build a social community and since you can’t create people, you buy dogs. Did you have the dog before or since your husband passed? I’ve always had dogs. They were always my sanity. They were always there for me when I needed to escape humanity. Sometimes, humanity is like, “Oh my goodness,” but humans need social community. We do. After high school, you just can’t find friends the way you used to. It’s not the same thing. High school is like a store for friends. From me, high school was not the best. I flourished after high school. It was not the cozy situation. High school was not it for me. It was after high school where life became more interesting but if that was interesting part going forward would be more challenging so I could see how that could change. For people that may have not caught our conversation before, would you mind sharing your late husband’s name with us? It was Harold Brooks. I only called him Harold when I was pissed off. It was Harry. All his family referred to him as Harold, so maybe they were always pissed off. I don’t know. When I would call him Harry, they’d do one of these head cock things like, “Oh, Harold.” He refers to himself as Harry. The three dogs you have now. Did you have those with Harry or did you get them since he died? I had two of the dogs and one of them was getting old when Harry was going through cancer. He would always complain, “She’s snoring.” “She’s this.” “She’s that.” She still alive three years later. It’s funny how things end up. She’s not snoring anymore, though. I thought about that the other day, when did that stop? The Experience As A Widow In 2024 Three years being a widow. What does 2024 look like for you? It was a year I retired and I sort of retired in 2023 three but I retired from full-time work and I kept all of my part-time gigs. In July of 2024, three of my part-time gigs ended. Back up a little bit. What was full-time work for you? All of my work is email marketing related. I had a full-time client. That was in 2023 when that contract ended. That was a long-term full-time contract. I kept my part-time gigs. As I said, 3 or 4 part-time gigs and then all of them slowly started to end. With part-time gigs where you’re working on particular projects, you expect at some point in time, you’re going to solve the project. You’re going to succeed and it’s going to be over. I always knew that, but they extended. I had one client that was like five years. As they ended, I thought to myself, “Let them end and see what happens. Stop. You don’t have to do this. You need to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. You need to slow down a little bit. You’re not proving anything to anybody. You do need to think about your next chapter.” I don’t know what the next chapter is. I’m forcing myself into that and if monetarily it’s a problem, then you know that. If it’s I don’t have enough to do problem, then you know that but figure out what the next few years of your life will look like. You are riding out an old routine that may have run its gamut and I wasn’t sure. As they ended, I was like, “Someone’s telling me to end these. Let them in. Don’t get hysterical.” I’m carrying one client and thinking

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