Marketta Davis had nothing to her name when she agreed to marry Danny. All that mattered to her was to be with the man he truly loved. But while she was pregnant with their child, her husband transitioned and left her all alone. In this first part of our conversation, she looks back on her fondest memories with Danny and how she literally became a black widow. Marketta shares how the two of them got through their biggest problems with finances and fertility, making their bond stronger and more meaningful than ever before. She also opens up about her personal battle with bipolar disorder and her realizations about entering a mental institution. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Experiences Of A Black Widow With Marketta Davis Part 1 Marketta, welcome to the show.  Thank you.  When you heard that, what came to your mind?  The club that I never asked to join.  Looking Back That is a very common saying in the community. We’re here, but nobody wants to be here. What was life before your spouse? Who was Marketta? Where are you from and what do you like doing?      I’m a military brat. I moved around with my dad, who was in the Marine Corps, and then I married into the military. Before we get to that because you were like a whole person before that.  I’m giving you the window. Between that time, it’s always been the military. That’s what I’ve known. DOD schools, friends on base, traveling. We were stationed in Okinawa, Japan, at one point. A lot of my life was military life. I came to appreciate other cultures, different people and traveling. That was me. I was always an introverted extrovert. I sat back in the cut, but if it came to something that I liked, I was all in. I was captain of a junior varsity basketball team. I was captain of the cheerleading team. I was on the tennis team. I was part of the National Junior Honor Society. I was a band nerd. That’s a huge part of my identity. I still have my flute. I joined an orchestra as an adult. That’s pretty much been me. A lot of people know me as this weird, quirky, dark-humored girl, which I wear with a badge of honor, but that didn’t come until later.  How long have you played a flute? I started in middle school up through high school. I’ve won national competitions. I played in Japan. I got a full scholarship to the University of Mississippi, a marching band scholarship.  You were in there. Any adult-type music in your life?  I was in the orchestra for a little while because there ares always community orchestras most of the time. I want to pick that backup. It was a place of solace as an adult. I did play for a little while after college.  You talked about being nerdy. What does that look like from your perspective for you?  Back when the nerdy was school and grades. I once went to summer school by choice.  That’s a whole other level.  I didn’t know that it was what it was. I thought if you wanted to go further or get ahead, that’s what it was. My mom just let me go. I met a lot of awesome people.  What grade was that?  It was in elementary school. That time going to summer school was because you were flunking out. You weren’t making the right grades; you were doing that to try to stay in the right grade and catch up for a class that you didn’t do well in. I dare say this is a different caliber of people that you happen to connect with it. If you didn’t go to summer school, you would’ve never been in the same flow with them.  I enjoyed it, too. I was puzzled once I got there and saw who I was around, as if they did not want to be there. I’m like, “Why? It’s fun. I made some good friends.”  What was college like for you? Did you go right after high school or what did that look like?  Let me first preface this by saying I was very sheltered growing up. I wasn’t even allowed to date until I was a student. It sounds like you got buck wild. Let’s get to it.  With that being said, I’ve also always been a romantic. When I found someone in college, I thought, “This is it. This is who I’m going to marry.” That’s that. I got my heart broken pretty badly. I went through some dark times in college. One of my mom and my grandmother’s biggest fears for me was that my heart would be my downfall. That’s pretty much what happened. Before I married, I did not have the typical college experience because all my time went toward the boy. When I got married, I traveled around a lot during the remainder of my college. That’s when I decided I wanted some of that real experience back.  Heartbroken People And Parents That’s fair. Broken heart syndrome in college is a very common thing that happens. It does lead to something you mentioned: from not having that dating experience and independence, then we’re in a place, and we go all in because we haven’t had that step up into it, that gradual experience. It’s like the doors are open, and it’s falling in. I would like for you to consider speaking to two groups of people right now. First, the person that has had the boy’s experience and their heart has been