embracing change

Evaluating The Realities Of Widowhood With Joi Brooks

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Joi Brooks | Widowhood

  Before embarking on a new chapter in life, many face the profound and often isolating experience of widowhood. In this poignant episode, Joi Brooks shares her deeply personal journey through widowhood, reflecting on her life after the loss of her husband, Harry. With humor and heart, she navigates the complexities of adjusting to a new routine while cherishing the memory of Harry and the little things that remind her of him, like his t-shirts and quirks around the house. Joi talks about the challenges of balancing work, retirement, and the grief of losing a partner. This episode offers a moving look at resilience, loneliness, and the quiet joys of continuing to honor a lost love. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Evaluating The Realities Of Widowhood With Joi Brooks Joi, welcome back. How are you? It’s winter. Winter is starting to kick in here in Virginia, but what does it look like? It’s a heated blanket. It keeps me warm. I’m in my office and it tends to get a little chilly because I’m just sitting here. Are you in New York?     I’m in New York. What’s the temperature like now for you? The temperature is 36 degrees. We are doing this on a Thursday night and this is my actual last conversation for 2024. Whereby, it’s only going to get colder. Yes. It is a bit nippy in Virginia, but it was that cold and I was told the coming week is supposed to be in the 60. Good for you. We’ll get like 40s but it was very windy. It was 36 degrees and it was very windy. I was out with the dogs walking and I thought, “I can’t wait to get home.” I can hear the wind outside now. How many dogs do you have? Three. That’s what happens when you become a widow and you don’t have a social community around you. You build a social community and since you can’t create people, you buy dogs. Did you have the dog before or since your husband passed? I’ve always had dogs. They were always my sanity. They were always there for me when I needed to escape humanity. Sometimes, humanity is like, “Oh my goodness,” but humans need social community. We do. After high school, you just can’t find friends the way you used to. It’s not the same thing. High school is like a store for friends. From me, high school was not the best. I flourished after high school. It was not the cozy situation. High school was not it for me. It was after high school where life became more interesting but if that was interesting part going forward would be more challenging so I could see how that could change. For people that may have not caught our conversation before, would you mind sharing your late husband’s name with us? It was Harold Brooks. I only called him Harold when I was pissed off. It was Harry. All his family referred to him as Harold, so maybe they were always pissed off. I don’t know. When I would call him Harry, they’d do one of these head cock things like, “Oh, Harold.” He refers to himself as Harry. The three dogs you have now. Did you have those with Harry or did you get them since he died? I had two of the dogs and one of them was getting old when Harry was going through cancer. He would always complain, “She’s snoring.” “She’s this.” “She’s that.” She still alive three years later. It’s funny how things end up. She’s not snoring anymore, though. I thought about that the other day, when did that stop? The Experience As A Widow In 2024 Three years being a widow. What does 2024 look like for you? It was a year I retired and I sort of retired in 2023 three but I retired from full-time work and I kept all of my part-time gigs. In July of 2024, three of my part-time gigs ended. Back up a little bit. What was full-time work for you? All of my work is email marketing related. I had a full-time client. That was in 2023 when that contract ended. That was a long-term full-time contract. I kept my part-time gigs. As I said, 3 or 4 part-time gigs and then all of them slowly started to end. With part-time gigs where you’re working on particular projects, you expect at some point in time, you’re going to solve the project. You’re going to succeed and it’s going to be over. I always knew that, but they extended. I had one client that was like five years. As they ended, I thought to myself, “Let them end and see what happens. Stop. You don’t have to do this. You need to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. You need to slow down a little bit. You’re not proving anything to anybody. You do need to think about your next chapter.” I don’t know what the next chapter is. I’m forcing myself into that and if monetarily it’s a problem, then you know that. If it’s I don’t have enough to do problem, then you know that but figure out what the next few years of your life will look like. You are riding out an old routine that may have run its gamut and I wasn’t sure. As they ended, I was like, “Someone’s telling me to end these. Let them in. Don’t get hysterical.” I’m carrying one client and thinking

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Beyond Loss: Transforming Grief And Embracing A Life Of Joy, Love, And New Beginnings With Brandy Bell-Trapp

WRT 32 | Grief Transformation

  From grief to growth, widowhood taught our guest that even in the darkest moments, love’s light finds its way. In this powerful episode, Brandy Bell-Trapp opens up about the unexpected loss of her beloved husband during the COVID-19 pandemic and the profound grief transformation it had on her life. She shares how she found solace through social media, particularly TikTok, and the unexpected community she built with fellow widows. Through laughter and tears, she shares the support, positivity, and understanding that this community brought into her life. Brandy also explores the complexities of dating after widowhood. She delves into the concept of “Widow Fire” – the overwhelming physical and emotional longing for companionship, revealing the challenges and newfound perspectives on love and connection. Tune in to discover how Brandy’s outlook on life shifted over time, allowing her to honor her husband’s memory while embracing new experiences and possibilities. Join us in finding strength, joy, and a renewed sense of purpose through the most challenging of times.   Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Beyond Loss: Transforming Grief And Embracing A Life Of Joy, Love, And New Beginnings With Brandy Bell-Trapp The conversation in this episode is with Brandy. I connected with her on TikTok, and the girl is real. Our conversation is about the passing of her husband, Tim, how he passed, and her journey forward, him being the lighthouse of their family. This is a conversation that will inspire you, educate you, and give you hope. Let’s get into the conversation.     Our guest is Brandy. We’re going to be nice because she’s a little nervous and welcome her to widowhood. Welcome, Brandy. Thanks for having me on here. Even though the Lord knows we didn’t want to be a part of it, at least we’re connecting with people who understand. That is a big thing. That is why I’m guessing you’re doing your TikTok, sharing and making it vocal between your faith and the death of your husband. You are transparent, the music and the rawness. I don’t want to fast-forward into all of that. I want to say thank you. As widowhood knows, I am reaching out to people who want to share. Sometimes people don’t want to share. It’s value-added because it creates a community to talk about this because none of us had a clue how wretched this was. You’re sitting up there sending your vows, “Until death, do us part.” We skipped over that. We don’t think what that looks like. That whole death do us part is like, “What? I didn’t agree to it at this time.” I figured I was going to be old, like a notebook old. We’re lying in the same bed together old. What is this? Tell us about your husband. How do you guys get together? When my husband and I met, I was in high school. I was working for McDonald’s. I got a management position. They transferred me to a Walmart store where they had a McDonald’s inside. I was one of the closing managers. I worked there a lot. That ended up being his second shift job. It was funny because I remember this older woman was like, “You need to ask him out.” I’m like, “I’m not his type. You’re crazy.” I always had a complex because I’ve always been a fluffy girl. He was thin as a rail. Thanks to Sesame Street. It gave me a complex and a half because they did the numbers and Count Dracula went through and did all the counting. For the number ten, they used a real thin man and a short chubby woman. I’m done with you already. First of all, my first job was at McDonald’s. I am relating to all of that. She’s like, “I think he likes you.” I said, “I think you’re crazy.” I had been up there for several months working. He kept coming in. He’s the last person to come in on his break. He would always come in and ask us and see if we had any more pies. I started putting in some extra pies because I knew he’d be coming. How do you get to a man’s heart? His stomach. That’s how you get to it. I ended up transferring back to my home store in my town. I decided to switch jobs to nursing. Back in that day, they had layaway. I put all my nursing scrubs and everything in layaway. If I didn’t have bad luck, I have no luck. I ran an order out, slid across the drive, sprained both my ankles, messed up my knees, and ended up in a wheelchair for a month because of the nonsense. What was it? I hit a hole in the drive-thru and slid right underneath the car. Were you coming by to try to see him and be cute? It was someone completely different. What ended up happening was my mother taking me up to Walmart to get my scrubs. She had to check out puzzles. He worked in the toy section. I didn’t realize that. Here he is, the toy stockman. My mother is trying to check out puzzles. All of a sudden, this man comes over. It was him, sickening sweet. He was like, “I’ve got brand-new ones that came in. Hold on, let me get the ladder. Let me help you out.” He’s over there. I’m like, “I can’t deal with this.” I rolled around the corner in my wheelchair. My wheelchair was taken off. He starts

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Widowhood Secret Santa Program Application

Step 1 of 2

Bringing Joy & Support to Widowed Families

This application is open to all widows and widowers with children between the ages of newborn to 18 years old. Special needs children over the Age of 18 are also eligible.

Parent/Guardian Information

Address(Required)

Child(ren) Information

Do you have a special needs child over the Age of 18?(Required)
Click the plus (+) icon to add more names.(Required)
Child's Name
Age
 
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Please share a little about your situation, what this program would mean to you, and any special circumstances.
What Type of Support Would Be Most Helpful?(Required)
  • All gifts will be handled through your Amazon Wish List link.
  • A completed consent form must be submitted for consideration with this application.
  • Nominations will be announced on September 1st.

Walk For Love 2025

Support grief awareness and Walk For Love in style. Proceeds help fund free grief support programs. Merchandise is available now, with new batches printing every 15 days — so order early to ensure you receive your items before the August kickoff on August 3,  2025

🛍️ How It Works

- Order anytime — Bonfire prints new merchandise every 15 days

- First shipping window: Orders placed by July 11 ship between July 1–11

- All items ship directly from Bonfire

- Order early to wear your gear for Walk For Love in August!

👕 Apparel – T-Shirts, Sweatshirts & Hoodies

🛒 Order here: https://www.bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-1

💲 Price: $23–$42

📏 Sizes: Youth to 3XL

Over 20 different colors

📝 Notebook

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-notebook-1

💲 Price: $22.99

Great for journaling, writing affirmations, or gift-giving.

☕ Mug

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-mug

💲 Price: $19.99

Sip your morning coffee with a message of love and remembrance.

🚶‍♀️ Travel Mug

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-travel-mug-1

💲 Price: $24.99

Keep your drinks hot or cold while walking for love.

💧 Water Bottle

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-water-bottle-2

💲 Price: $29.99

Hydration meets heart — perfect for walkers everywhere.

📣 Additional Notes

At checkout, encourage shoppers to select your board member's name from the referral dropdown to help us track outreach.

Use and promote hashtags: #WFL2025 and #WRTWT

Perfect for walking during the event or repping all year long.

Mental Health Walkathon to provide encouragement and inspiration for the grieving struggling with depression and isolation.

During the Walkathon, we walk together, united in our mission to support mental health. From August 3 - 9, 2025 we encourage you to walk one mile daily. Share your journey by posting a picture on your favorite social media platform with #WRTWT #WALKFORLOVE, and let’s inspire others to join us.

Funds from the Walkathon will allow Widowhood Real Talk With Tina to conduct an Annual Grief Garden and a Butterfly release ceremony and provide participants journals & pens.

Three ways to participate

Purchase merchandise ~ In Development

Donate: https://app.99pledges.com/fund/walkforlov

Make your pledge, 1-mile daily day August 4 – 10, and post #WRTWT #WALKFORLOVE: https://app.99pledges.com/fund/walkforlov

To Start your pledge team, email widowhoodrealtalk@gmail.com for details.

Register on Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1223004923649?aff=oddtdtcreator