This episode is dedicated to empowering brave widows to find hope and healing after loss. Join Emily Tanner, founder of the Brave Widow community, as she shares her powerful journey through grief. She offers practical strategies and insights on rebuilding your life and finding joy again. Discover the importance of community, self-care, and emotional healing as you navigate the challenges of widowhood. Emily’s inspiring story will empower you to embrace your future with courage and create a life you truly love. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Brave Widow’s Guide To Healing And Hope With Emily Tanner Emily, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you, Tina. I’m grateful that you invited me to come. Are you serious? After this lovely winter solstice you allowed me to participate in? Before I read your bio, can you talk about the winter solstice, what that means, and how you came about with that project? I don’t even remember where I got the idea from, and nobody will claim credit. We’re just going to say it was a divine moment. The meaning behind the winter solstice event is an event where we host a panel of widows, and Tina graciously served on our panel. We asked them some tough questions and tried to get their insights. We have giveaways. We play music and have activities. It’s one of the most popular events that I participate in throughout the year. The concept behind the winter solstice is that it is the longest night of the year. We come together as widows knowing that even though our days may feel dark and the nights feel long, every day going forward is going to be a little bit brighter and a little bit brighter.     That is beautiful. Now that you have a bit of a sense of her heart, I want to read her bio. One month shy of their twentieth wedding anniversary, Emily was widowed unexpectedly at the age of 37. She and Nathan have four children, who were the ages of 10 through 19 at the time. She founded Brave Widow, a membership community, to help other widows navigate grief, heal their hearts, and create a life they love again. She is certified by the accredited Faith Coaching Academy and the Grief Recovery Method Institute. How Personal Grief Led To Creating Brave Widow Prior to Brave Widow, Emily served as a Senior Vice President for renew cycle in the healthcare industry, leading teams of 4,000 associates in 100-plus hospitals across the US. She earned her MBA at John Brown University with an emphasis on leadership and ethics. Her passion for servant leadership, collaboration, helping people, and bridging gaps is the driving force behind why Brave Widow exists. Her website is BraveWidow.com, and you can email Emily at Emily@BraveWidow.com. When I read your bio, it gives me the sense that in some bigger-than-life way, you were prepared to lead Brave Widow. It’s an interesting observation. I think that I have always been the person that is ready to help, step up, and lead sometimes to my own detriment because I can overcommit or allow myself to feel taken advantage of after a certain point. I felt compelled. Shortly after Nathan died, I had several employees or co-workers who were either widowed themselves or knew someone who was widowed asking me, “What can I do? How do I help them? What are the next steps?” Naturally, in those first few months, I started putting together a checklist, ideas, and suggestions. It just came very naturally to me. Months into Nathan no longer breathing in this world, you are now setting up the genesis for Brave Widow. When you look back at that, how do you see that being helpful or impactful to your grief journey? For me, I approach it from a very tactical standpoint. I didn’t found Brave Widow until probably a year later, but the founding pieces were there. A very tangible checklist of, “Here are specific things that widows want and need, but they’re too ashamed to ask for. They don’t even know what they need, or they struggle asking for help. Here’s a way that you can talk to a widow. Here are things that you can say that are helpful or things you should avoid saying.” For me, in those first few months in that first year, it was what I wish I had known or what I wish people around me had known, and what resources I wish I could have found but just couldn’t seem to find anywhere. The Impact Of Loss: What To Avoid And What To Do Right That is a good point, because there are so many people, I believe, that mean well, and they’re trying to say what they think is helpful or do different things, but they are landing badly. There are some people that know how to just do it right. Unfortunately, I believe the people that learn how to do it right do so because of a significant loss that they’ve learned from experience. I’ll ask the question that people always want to know, what are some things people should not do? Instead of starting with what they shouldn’t do, when people ask, “What should I say? What can I say?” sometimes I’ll respond tongue-in-cheek and say, “The best thing you can say is listen. It’s just to be there.” What we tend to want to do, it’s very much in our nature, is we want to help people. We see someone that’s hurting, they’re struggling, or down in the mud, we want