Faith Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

Embracing God’s Presence In Widowhood With Florine Hurdle

Podcast / August 28, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Florine Hurdle | God's Presence

Widowhood is often associated with brokenness, depression, and isolation. But amidst the loneliness after losing a loved one, there is one thing that will never go away: God’s presence. I sit down with Florine Hurdle, author of two amazing books about widowhood, who shares how her faith carried her through the lowest point of her grieving journey. She talks about her own widowhood community, where she leads a sisterhood that supports and guides each other towards personal growth. Florine also discusses why widows should never suppress their feelings of rediscovering love and why romance will always be part of their lives. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Embracing God’s Presence In Widowhood With Florine Hurdle Hello, Widowhood. Our conversation with Florine Hurdle is going to be spicy. She is having a conversation about how we as widows are still alive in the thoughts of romance that still exist. In companion with that conversation is her second book, which is a conversation that allows people to support a widow in their first year. She provides extensive details on how to support a widow, a guide for clergy, and so much more. Let’s get into this conversation now. Hello, Florine. Welcome to the Widowhood. Hello, Miss Tina. I’m glad to be here. People would say, “I’m glad to be in the widowhood.” Really? What’s the ticker tape? When you think of widowhood, what’s the first thing that comes to mind for you? Initially, for me, widowhood is somebody who is in their 70s or 80s. She has lived some life, she has been to some places, she has done some things, accomplished some things, and she is rocking her crown of gray or silver hair. I’m saying your crown is looking good. How Florine Became A Widow What did it look like for you being in a widowhood? For me, it was probably more of a shock. The initial, “Really? He’s not coming back? You’re kidding. No. This is somebody else’s life I’m living.” I think I’m in a movie. I’m portraying somebody else’s life. I’m acting this out to try to help somebody else. Somebody may hear that, and they go, “She has to know it was a real thing,” or “Why could you not understand that that happened?” You talk about in one of your books, 0 to 100, they’re gone, they’re snatched, and there’s no return. Looking from the outside, before I was this close to it, I would have thought, “Okay,” but being in this space, I’m like, “Yeah, those are the things you think about. They’re on a work trip, you all play it.” For me, my husband was a military veteran. I treated it as if he were on tour. He’s getting ready to walk through the door any minute, any day. He’s going to drag them money boots in here. I’m going to have to fuss at him and tell him, “Sir, please take your stuff to the garage. You’re making a mess.” That was for me. How long, and still maybe now, to realize this is the reality? He is not coming home. It’s probably a daily thing. It’s a moment-to-moment thing. That is because there are still triggers. There are still things that resurface, or maybe even for me, when I’m out and about, and I see a young Black man, bald-headed with a goatee. I don’t know that until he turns around, but even turning around, when you see this image, I’m like, “That’s not him.” There have been a couple of times that have happened to me where I’m like, “That’s not my husband,” because I was going to tap on his shoulder and be like, “Sir, turn around. Where have you been for the last almost eight years of my life? Don’t be a double agent.” Eight years. We are in the same timeline of that process. If someone ever told me, flip into the future, Mark would be past eight years, and it would still be a part of me grieving him, I would say that makes no sense. Right now, I’m like, “This is forever.” This is a life journey. I say that from the perspective of someone who has remarried. That does not change it. What has widowhood been for you in the daily experience compared to someone you may have supported who lost a loved one before your husband passed? Daily is choosing to live. Daily is choosing to say, “You got a whole son. You got to show him what it’s like to live for him, for his father, for your husband,” because I’m still carrying his good name. One of the things that I choose to tell myself daily is, “You still carry his name, not his name, but you’re a representative of the kingdom.” What does it look like to represent both God and him and honor them both daily? Choosing to live past the fact that I get to wake up with this pillow next to me every night and wake up every morning, it’s still a real thing. It’s not a dream. It’s my reality. I think for me, it’s daily choosing to still go back to the same workplace that I was stuck at, where I could not get to my husband in time, walk past that section of cubicles every day, and say, “That’s where I was.” I couldn’t get out because I didn’t have the car that morning. He had dropped me off for work, went to his appointment at the VA, and said, “Babe, you better be

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The Complexities Of Grief: Finding Strength After Loss With Amy Shaw

Podcast / May 22, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Amy Shaw | Grief

Grief is a powerful and transformative experience that touches us all in different ways. In this poignant episode, Amy Shaw shares her journey through profound love and the depths of grief following the loss of her husband. Married for nearly 25 years and having built a large family, Amy faced the unimaginable when her husband received a devastating diagnosis. This conversation explores the many facets of grief, from the initial shock and pain to the ongoing process of healing and finding strength. Amy’s story offers insights into navigating grief, honoring loved ones, and discovering resilience in the face of loss. It’s a testament to the enduring power of love and the human spirit’s capacity to find meaning even amidst profound grief. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Complexities Of Grief: Finding Strength After Loss With Amy Shaw Our conversation with Ms. Amy Shaw is going to be so insightful. We’re going to talk about how to navigate your personal grief along with ten children, leaving a legacy for your husband and the impact that your grief journey can make in the world. Let’s get into this conversation now. Amy, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You are welcome. When you hear, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what comes to mind to you? Belonging to a club that no one ever chooses to come into, but life circumstances bring you there and here we are. Entering Widowhood: Amy’s Story & Early Grief I would agree. If you would, in saying that, would you give us a little bit about how you became a part of the widowhood? Yeah. My husband and I were married for 24 and a half years. Our plan was to make it to 50 and that was not the plan that the Lord had, but we lived a wonderful life. He was the love of my life. I was the love of his. We ministered together overseas and we built a large family together of ten children. We were very surprised that he, at age 43, was diagnosed with the most aggressive possible brain cancer, glioblastoma. He was given 6 to 12 months to live. It was a real shock for us. We actively celebrated his life and he was given a wonderful 37 months after that diagnosis. We celebrated, we lived well, we made memories. He left an amazing legacy and he is now with the Lord. That is a lot that you said in a very short period of time and thank you for being willing to share that. How long did it take you to be able to share that in that manner? I think we were very open with our friends and our supporters because we had been missionaries. We’d been seen by people. The whole time that we were going through cancer, we had people involved. I think being able to see it in a nice little package like that certainly has come later. Yeah, we involved people all the way through. Involving people in being able to say that, there are people reading this conversation whose spouse literally may have died this month. The idea of mentioning their death elicits so many different emotions and they’re wanting to know how were you able to have these conversations and not act in that way? I think we had this perspective that death was a doorway between this earthly life and our eternal life. We spent a lot of time talking with our children, talking together as a couple that as much as we hated the fact that he was being taken out early, he died at age 47, we knew that if this was the plan of God, that we couldn’t really fight against it. We prayed and we had people all around the world praying for total healing. I really believe that he did get that for about sixteen months where he had no treatment. I think our whole perspective on death was this is going to be a temporary separation, that I will eventually join him in eternity and that the Lord’s plan is for him to go off early and that he has more work for me to do. I think having that perspective all the way through, I’m not saying that it made the pain any less, but I think even when we had the burial service, I remember it was raining and there were people standing there and at the end of it all, people were crying. I was like, “Guys, this isn’t the end of the story. He’s not staying in the grave. He is getting up out of this grave. This isn’t the end.” I think having this way backed up per perspective on it helps me not lose hope and helps me remember that like where I am on the big timeline and I have this little window of time that I don’t know when my time is, but I have this little window of time that I can make impacts and influence the world. I don’t know. I see it in a different way, maybe. Faith, Grief, And Finding Strength In Loss I love that for you and I want to spend a little bit of time here, if we may. There are oftentimes I speak with people and the passing of their loved one actually pulls them away from God. They are mad, they are discouraged and they feel like their relationship with God failed them because this happened to them. What about your relationship with God did

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All Grief Is The Same And All Grief Is Different: A Double Widow’s Story With Andrea Lott Haney

Podcast / March 6, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Andrea Lott Haney | Double Widow

Grief is a universal experience, yet every journey through loss is unique. In this episode, Andrea Lott Haney shares her extraordinary story of navigating the complexities of double widowhood. Andrea opens up about the profound grief and emotional challenges of losing two spouses, offering a unique perspective on the similarities and differences in grieving multiple losses. She discusses the importance of self-care, community support, and faith in her healing journey, and provides inspiration for others facing adversity. Tune in to hear Andrea’s courageous story and discover how to find hope and meaning in the face of life’s greatest challenges. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here All Grief Is The Same And All Grief Is Different: A Double Widow’s Story With Andrea Lott Haney Finding Community & Support After Loss: The Widowhood Club Andrea, welcome to the Widowhood. Thanks for having me, Tina. I’m very honored to be here. What do you think when you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood?” What was the first thing that came to your mind if the ticker tape would have just printed on your forehead? I say a lot whenever I meet somebody newly widowed that it is the worst club to belong to and we have the best members. We support each other like no other club, the Widowhood Club, in both the specific sense of your group and then also the general sense of just being widows and how, once you’ve been through it, you know things that the general public does not know and you have been places the general public has not been. There’s a solidarity there. You nailed that. For people who are reading and just to make them jealous, when you say my group, what does that look like to you? What did that look like to you before you became part of that group? TikTok: A Digital Oasis For Young Widows I met you on TikTok, but I was not on TikTok prior to Brian’s passing. I specifically got on TikTok because other social media platforms were too emotionally loaded for me. Being widowed twice, my first husband, Gary, who passed in 2010, his passing predated my first iPhone. I did not have a huge social media presence in those days. I was on MySpace and I had just gotten on to Facebook for work, but I didn’t have a ton of digital memories and so forth of him. When I got together with Brian, I really wanted to change that. I made it a point to document digitally and on social media all these seemingly unimportant moments of our lives because they were important to me. After he passed, I’m so glad that I did that because I know that those memories are so precious, but in the immediate aftermath, I did not want to see them. It was more than just turning off the memory feature on the platform. It would be like my friend would change her profile picture and it would say, “Brian Haney liked this photo or something.” It would come up non-consensually. These other social media platforms were just so emotionally loaded for me. I went to TikTok because it was a fresh slate for me. That’s where I met you and where I met a lot of the other ladies and men who are part of supporting each other through your organization, Widowhood Real Talk with Tina, and how you use your platform to not only engage with us and to help us when we express our feelings, but also you go live, you include us in your videos. We’ve created this network in the way of a lot of us know each other now. Some of us have even met outside of social media or exchanged phone numbers and talked offline, and we’ve become our own little support group in a way. That is so huge. Thank you for explaining that. I must admit, before I got on TikTok, I thought everybody was gyrating or somebody was dancing, and that’s all I was going to see. There are subcultures for any topic that you’re interested in. If you’re an author, there’s author TikTok. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, there’s stay-at-home TikTok. There’s actress TikTok. The ability to create a network. The thing you mentioned about going live, that ability, if you’re not ready to talk to people and sit on the outside, watch these conversations, and then decide, “I’m going to say something or I’m going to get engaged,” they did this right. I’m not a tech person by any means, but I’ve heard it explained that it’s an interest-based algorithm as opposed to a follower-based algorithm. They’re better at knowing what you want to see. If I’m on grief tok or if I’m on widow tok, it connects me to other people like that. The very first video that I made on TikTok was basically introducing myself as somebody who had been widowed twice at a young age and saying, “I knew nobody in my real life.” Over the years of being widowed, I had met hundreds of young widows at that point and I knew nobody who was double a widow. Now I know people who are my age and double widowed. What does that mean for you in your grief journey to know that and to know them? The Power Of Community In Grief In my grief journey the second time, I have done a lot of throwing my fists in the air and saying, “This is so unfair. How could this possibly be happening to me

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Divinely Led Love: Trusting God’s Plan And Finding Healing With Dana Hueston

Podcast / December 12, 2024

Love is not always easy, but it is always worth the journey. In this powerful episode, Dana Hueston shares her emotional journey of finding love, guided by God’s plan. Dana embraced a period of singlehood, determined to honor her promise to God. When she married John, they were tested by life’s challenges, including infidelity. Dana’s faith and patience were pivotal in their relationship’s growth, as John respected her boundaries, and through counseling and personal struggles, they found healing and a deeper connection. Dana’s story reveals the transformative power of faith, respect, and God’s timing in shaping a love that endures life’s trials. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Divinely Led Love: Trusting God’s Plan And Finding Healing With Dana Hueston Dana, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you. How are you? I am well. When you hear widowhood, what comes to mind first for you? Me. Do you think you represent when people think of a widow, or what does that mean when you say me if you were to explain that to somebody? I just say Widowhood is a state of being and a time. Everybody doesn’t get to experience it. I was hoping that I didn’t and I did. I know that in the beginning, the first few years, I referenced myself as a widow. After that, I now just say single because I don’t want pity because I’m a widow. You make some really good points there but I want to circle back a little bit, but thank you. I’m going to keep those notes and we’re going to come back to that. I see this space that you’re at, it looks very light and airy. Is this your favorite space in your home? Of late, yes. The last 5 or 6 months, my daughter had noticed that I had been spending a lot of time on the porch. This is my front porch, and it’s closed in. She made reference to that I could take any space and make it mine. Even the front porch. I was like, “Yeah, daughter.” I’m a little jealous because the home we lived in before, we had a closed-in back porch where my husband and I raised our children. When I moved to Virginia, I did not have that option but my desire for next year is there’s a part of the house in the back that if everything goes well, I want to make a closed-in porch, patio, all-season room, whatever because that was my favorite room in the house. I would start the day out there. I could watch everything and no bugs because everything was closed in. In the shade, I felt like I was close to nature. I didn’t have to be out there with everything. I am very envious of your favorite spot right now. I like that a lot. I’m excited for winter to come and the snow to come and see if I’ll be able to sit out here with the heater if it’ll be warm enough for me. It’s insulated a little bit, but I think I need new windows and stuff like that. It is windows, not screens. It’s windows there. It’s all windows. I want to see some TikToks of you out there and seeing what that looks like. I think it’s going to be great. Where are you from originally? I have to say originally in Toledo, I was born in Oceanside, California because my dad was in the military. What brand? Marines, camp Pendleton. My sister and I were born in California. She was actually born on the base and I was born across the street from the ocean in Oceanside, California. My birth certificate says I have ocean-blue eyes and jet-black hair really. Are there any pictures showing that pretty? When I was a baby? Real little? Yeah. I couldn’t put my hand on any right now, but I do remember an instance when my aunt told me when my mom brought us back to Toledo and she handed her to my aunt, and I opened my eyes in her arm and she almost dropped me because she was not expecting to see blue eyes. A blue-eyed baby. My eyes, I can probably get them bluish if I wear pink, I found out. My eyes changed based on my mood. My husband used to always say he could tell he would just be looking. I said, “What are you looking at?” He said, “I’m looking to see these eyes telling me what’s going on.” I know, I’m about to say, so what are the colors that they changed and what moods do they relate to? Hazel is calm. Green is just where I’m just very spicy and then blue, that is not very often that they are blue. It’s a bluey shadish, it’s not a blue. It’s only based on color. I know that it’s like if I were pink or something like that, you’ll see that hue of the blue. I probably never liked it when I was a baby. That is so neat. Now I’m going to have to start paying attention when I see you, make sure I’m paying attention to the eye color and what’s going on to understand your mood and disposition. Much I found out just in a couple of minutes already. I found because of that, I talk with my eyes, I talk with facial expressions. I guess over the years because my eyes have always been different to people’s, I just use them as illustrations. I just talked with them. That

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A Mother’s Grief: Finding Strength And Healing After Loss With Cheryl Scruggs

Podcast / November 14, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Cheryl Scruggs | Grief

“It is what it is. I’m going to live here out loud.” Cheryl Scruggs joins Tina Fornwald for a raw and vulnerable conversation about navigating the turbulent waters of a mother’s grief. After experiencing a series of devastating losses, including the passing of her daughter, Stephanie, Cheryl opens up about her struggles with mental health, suicidal thoughts, and the complexities of grieving multiple losses at once. She shares her journey of healing, the importance of finding your community, and how her faith has guided her through the darkest of times. Cheryl also discusses her book, Surviving Grief, and her podcast of the same name, where she shares her story and offers support to others who are grieving. This episode is a powerful reminder that even in the face of immense pain, there is hope for healing and that by embracing vulnerability, we can find strength and connection with others. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here A Mother’s Grief: Finding Strength And Healing After Loss With Cheryl Scruggs Cheryl, welcome to the show. Tina, thanks for having me. When you hear Welcome to the widowhood, what really comes to your mind? Women who have lost their spouses. Thank you. You’re like, do I fit in? Is this a space for me? I appreciate the organic and transparency. For everybody, I am still getting over bronchitis. I have tea and I am trying not to sound like my fictitious character, which is Marge. This has been smoking six packs of cigarettes a day because when I start coughing badly, that is what it is. Sure enough, I’ve had this conversation planned and I’m committed. Be patient and be kind and don’t tear me apart in the ratings. Cheryl, you bring up a good point. Thank you for mentioning that. When we came up with a name for this organization, the term widowhood was to cover the entire community. I’m from Chicago. Hood means family to me. I am the widow of origin in this organization, but my children, my family, my friends, when one person passes, that relationship of every other person connected to it, somebody else, like when my husband passed, his parents would have been impacted from his passing, his siblings would have been impacted, his nieces and nephews. Even though it was the widow experience, me, but the entire hood was impacted. As we get into your conversation, hopefully, that idea of me explaining this is you’re in that hood from the perspective of the person that you have lost. In the same vein, I’m actually going to speak with the board members about considering changing the name or using the DBA because if I have to explain it, that’s too much. I want people to organically feel like they’re connected and know that they have a place here. Me explaining that to you hopefully gives a sense of how you do belong in this conversation but it’s like, when you’re already grieving, you ain’t got time for extra explanation. I need to have known already. We’re looking to change that, but it is intentional to support the hood. That is all of us that are grieving. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share that with you. Now that you hear the name of it, what do you think when I say welcome to the widowhood? When you said widow, even if you didn’t have the hood, that automatically takes me to somebody who has lost somebody who’s grieving. The hood just includes everybody that’s in the midst of the grief. There’s a widow, there’s a cousin, there’s a child, there’s a parent, there’s a cousin. The hood just ties it all in. The widow is grieving, but so are we collectively, we’re all grieving. Where are you located physically right now in the world? Right now I’m in Maryland. I just moved from Georgia about three months ago. I moved because I wasn’t doing too good mentally and physically. I went from a size 14 to a size 2. I think I’m grieving so many different things not only the loss of my child, but a relationship. I lost my job seven days before I lost her. It’s been a lot. I had no family down there. The guy who I was seeing, he was there. Anyway, I had no family there. It was just me and my grandkids. I was crashing. I was walking 20 miles a day, not eating just so I wouldn’t have anxiety and panic. It was a mess. Now I’m in Maryland and I’m healing and I’m at a size six now and I’ve gained some weight. The anxiety isn’t as bad. I still have my days, but it’s getting better. Thank you for sharing. I’d like to go back and dive into each one of those things that you mentioned a little bit more. I am sorry for the passing of your daughter. Your daughter’s name, would you share it with us, please? I’m Stephanie Scruggs. Stephanie’s Passing Stephanie. When you think of Stephanie, you just started smiling. What are the thoughts that when you think of her comes to mind? Stephanie was so confident. No matter what she put on, and one day she came home to my mom’s house and she had these long locks down to her feet. She was just in my mom’s kitchen and she was my mom was like, “Girl, if you would sit down and stop swinging that hair.” She was just so confident and Stephanie, as a child, always was my neat freak. Like she was very clean and she hated things out of order. She

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The Young Purposeful Widow: Navigating The Journey Of Being A Widow While Discovering Her New Life With Tomice Scott

Podcast / August 22, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Tomice Scott | Purposeful Widow

Today’s episode delves into the love, heartache, and resilience of a phenomenal woman who defied the odds. Tomice Scott, a Mental Health Counselor, faces challenges like teen pregnancy, relationship instability, and societal pressures, yet she perseveres and achieves her goals of getting an education and becoming a successful mother. She leads us into the pages of her life as she navigates the journey of being a widow while discovering her new self as a young, purposeful widow. Tomice built a community for young widows through Purposeful Widow to provide the support system young widows needed as they traverse into the new phase of their lives. She also shares tips to navigate the complex emotions of dating after losing a spouse. Tomice’s journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit. Join us as she shares her experience and offers hope and inspiration to anyone facing loss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Young Purposeful Widow: Navigating The Journey Of Being A Widow While Discovering Her New Life With Tomice Scott Tomice Scott, welcome to the show. When you hear welcome to the widowhood, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? When I hear that, it’s something that I’m still getting used to, but it is something that I am starting to embrace and taking it by stride, not looking at it in necessarily a negative aspect, but more in a way of to shed light on others. When somebody’s looking at you or when you look at yourself and you think of what a widow is and then you see yourself, I know people are going, “Tina, you say a widowhood, like she’s part of the widowhood.” That means you are a widow. You’re right, Miss Tina. I never in a million years would have expected to be a widow at the age of 37. As a matter of fact, when I heard the word widow, I was always thinking, “That’s somebody that’s 60, 70, 80 years old.” I never would have imagined holding that title at the age of 37. It is definitely something that I never would have imagined. It’s true. I am a 37-year-old widow. Thank you. The other thing to consider is that you have actually accomplished a life goal. We take these vows and we sometimes easily go through some of the things we say, and not everyone’s vows say this, but it’s very common until death do us part. Even though it’s painful, it is difficult to know that we ended our relationship in the most organic way versus a divorce or a separation. There is some honor to that and we try to find that glimmer of hope in this painful experience. Yes, you are absolutely right. I had an issue where I was constantly. When you go through losing a spouse, you oftentimes focus on the fact of the loss. The thing about it was you’re absolutely right. I had a good 4 years married to my husband, but I’ve been with him since I was sixteen years old. We have two kids together. I tend to cherish all of the memories that we had. I’m glad that I’m with him. You’re right. Unfortunately, it ended in the other D word, death versus divorce, but times that I look back and I actually got a chance to experience love. I got a chance to experience being a wife and raising our kids together. It’s those memories that shed a little light on becoming a young widow. Thank you. Let’s talk about that sixteen year old and who is this gentleman that you met and how did this all start? Tomice’s Beautiful Love Story I have such a beautiful love story. I thoroughly enjoy telling it. I met my husband through a mutual friend in high school. My husband’s name was Shasta Scott. He was a basketball player, a very great basketball player for high school. Basically, his best friend was dating my best friend. His best friend said “There’s this guy. I think you guys will hit it off very well. He loves basketball, but I think you could be the one that could come into his life. I think you would be a good match.” At first, I was like, “No, I’m focusing on my studies. I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m about to graduate.” She said, “No.” I said, “No.” I’m not trying to have any type of relationship. I want to get through high school and go to college, and then I’ll think about a relationship. We ended up exchanging numbers. At that time, neither one of us had a driver’s license. I called us phone pals because all we did was talk on the phone. We couldn’t see each other, but our connection was strong. We had a very great connection. As time went on, I eventually got my driver’s license. You can say we were on a blind date because I had never seen him in person. When you said sixteen, I envisioned video chatting. I envisioned being on the phone and seeing each other. Numbers were exchanged. No one saw each other. Also, we had those little, I don’t know if anybody remembers those Nokia phones where you can text as long as you got minutes on there, but as soon as those minutes run out, you got to go reload. That is where we were. There were no iPhones then. Believe it or not, iPhones had not come out yet. We were strictly communicating, texting and talking to each other throughout the day. I got my driver’s

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Faith Tested, Faith Restored: The Remarkable Story Of A Widower Through Grief With James Price

Podcast / October 19, 2023

Through grief’s darkest night, faith becomes the dawn that guides us to a new day. In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with James Price, a remarkable widower who opens his heart to share the profound story of his loss, healing, and newfound purpose. Life can be heartbreakingly unpredictable, and James knows this all too well. As he candidly recounts the devastating blow of losing his beloved wife, he takes us through the turbulent waves of grief and the weight of loneliness that followed. But this conversation isn’t just about despair; it’s about resilience, faith, and the extraordinary strength that emerges from adversity. James shares how God’s guiding hand helped him navigate the darkest hours and find hope amid despair. His faith in God’s keeping power became a beacon of light during his darkest days. Tune in to find hope in his words, discover the importance of faith, and learn how sharing your experiences can light the path for others seeking solace. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Faith Tested, Faith Restored: The Remarkable Story Of A Widower Through Grief With James Price Our guest is Minister James D. Price. He actually lost his wife the same year that Mark died. We connected, saw him on YouTube, and as you know, I am, unfortunately, always looking for men to be able to share their voices in this conversation. We talked for a long time, and that is the type of conversation I want you to have. I want my conversations with my guests to be like two people sitting in their front room talking about a shared experience so they can find encouragement. Let’s get into the conversation now. Our guest is Minister James Price. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. I appreciate this. Thank you so much. As with everybody else, I’m not a fan that we are having this conversation. You were in the Widowhood before we had this discussion, but now you are connecting with our community. James, where are you now? I’m here in my home in Inkster, Michigan. It’s nice and hot outside. I got finished watering my grass and now I’m in here talking to you guys. I’m excited to be here. You must be cool because that looks like a whole sweatshirt you have on right there. It is a sweatshirt. I’m a huge sweatshirt fan. This is my rapper, actor/entrepreneur because I am an entrepreneur. Doing what? I have a small marketing business. I advertise online for small local businesses. They pay me a fee every single month for advertising on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn. I do that for them. They pay me for that and I help bring them customers. How did you get into that? Is that something you’ve done for a long time? I got into it because I was looking at videos on YouTube and saw an ad for these two guys, probably around my age, talking about how anybody can do this. They do it and they make all this money. I said, “Whatever. Everybody says they make all this money.” I continued to skip the ad and look at the video I was trying to get to. One day, I looked at the ad and said, “This might be something.” That’s why I decided to get into it. It cost me a lot of money to get into this program, but I did it and it paid off. I took the time to learn everything that I could learn about business and marketing because I wasn’t into marketing. I didn’t know much about it. I knew what the word meant, but I didn’t know much about actually getting into marketing. That’s what I do. It’s paying off. I’m grateful. What did you do before this? I was a Manager at Walmart. That’s a lot of work. It doesn’t seem like it may be a lot, but for people on the outside looking, not on the inside, we couldn’t understand how people can’t understand how much work we have to do because people will come in. Being a manager, I probably got cussed out at least once a day, sometimes more than that. People weren’t happy with certain things that were going on in the store. We all had these walkie-talkies. They would call me. They call me JP at work, and they would say, “JP, there’s a customer up here. They’re upset. They want to talk to a manager.” I would say, “Where’s your team lead manager? They can take care of it.” They say, “No, they want to talk to someone above the team leads. They want to talk to a coach manager.” I would have to go up front and get cussed out. You expect to go for someone to not be happy with us not returning their item. If you don’t have the receipt, we cannot give you a full refund in cash. We have to put it on a gift card. You can only use the gift card in the store. People will be upset with that. I’m thinking it’s because they needed the money so they’ll be upset with that. It happens at times. We got used to it. It is what it is. That’s retail. How did Minister Price reconcile with Walmart customers? How did that go? The minister came in because what happened is, one day, maybe 6 months after my wife passed and 4 months after my third daughter passed, I was working on some videos

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My Twelfth Rose: A Story Of Love, Bipolar And Suicide With Pastor James Ford Jr. – Part 3

Podcast / September 10, 2023

Leave a well in the valley. Pastor James Ford Jr. believes it is his mission to help others who have lost someone they love through his own experience of losing his wife to suicide. In this final episode of a three-part conversation, he talks to Tina Fornwald about the importance of talking about the pink elephant in the room: mental illness. Through his story, he has helped lighten the load of others. Join him as he shares his grief journey, the role of faith in the process, and where he is finding joy now. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide How To Contact Pastor James Ford, Jr.: Pastor Ford: https://www.facebook.com/pastorjamesfordjr/ Christ Bible Church of Chicago: https://www.christbiblechurchofchicago.org/pastor-ford-s-bio#:~:text=Pastor%20James%20Ford%20Jr.%20has,at%20Trinity%20Evangelical%20Divinity%20School Pastor James Ford Jr. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PastorJamesFord — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here My Twelfth Rose: A Story Of Love, Bipolar And Suicide With Pastor James Ford Jr. – Part 3 This is part three of our final conversation with Pastor James Ford regarding the conversation of the death of his late wife, his love of many years. I want you to know that you are not alone. Let’s get into the discussion now. You mentioned something important. Thank you again for having this conversation. I know this is not easy. Not even being a year, why would you want to talk about this and share this? Why is that important to you? It’s the pink elephant in most Black communities, especially in Black churches. Even while I was going through this separation, I was still speaking. People were coming to me, asking me questions, and looking for answers for the situations they were going through with primarily bipolar. For example, I had a marriage conference. There were about 200 couples in 4 days. In those 4 days, I had 4 different pastors approach me saying, “I’m going through the same thing with my wife.” I had one pastor’s wife who said, “The church drove my husband crazy. I don’t know who he is. Can you talk to me?” I talked to all those people, and God seemed to be saying to me, “This is going to open up a new avenue. Now you know what the pain is when someone loses their spouse through suicide, and you’re able to leave a well in the valley. You can’t totally alleviate, but you can make an effort to lighten somebody’s load.” That one pastor’s wife was still amenable to him getting guardianship. He called me up, “My guardianship went through. It took a couple of months, but I got guardianship now.” If she gets to the third or fourth stage, he’s able to say, “My wife needs to be in here. She does not want to come, but I have the paperwork. I need her.” You helped somebody. Even in my congregation, people were coming to me and saying, “I never told anybody, but my son, my daughter, my husband, and my wife committed suicide.” They’re coming to me, and I meet with them and share. I’m not a “professional.” I always encourage them to find themselves a good Christian counselor who knows about these mental illnesses. It helped me with my seatbelt. There’s a thing called DARVO when you deal with people who are bipolar. They go through Denial, Anger, Retribution, Victim, and Offender. My wife went right through it. He told me, “I was struggling. I don’t want to do this. I made the slip earlier because everybody was trying to get me to do an order of protection because my wife said she wanted to kill me.” I said to him, “What does an order of protection mean?” “She can’t come within 500 feet of you. How is that going to work? How am I going to take care of her then? That means I can’t go within 500 feet of her. I’m not doing that,” but then when he explained it to me, I was struggling. He said, “This is what will happen. I’m not the one that’s sick. You need to get up off of me. You have some issues you need to deal with. You’re trying to take it out on me because it’s you who had the problem.” Seeing a psychiatrist helped because I learned some things like DARVO where they will go through a phase, and you will hear it. First, there’s denial, anger, and then retribution. They become the victim and then the offender. It all fell into place. I said, “That’s what she said. I’m not sick.” The anger part or the venomous spurred out, and then the retribution, “You are this, that, and the other.” She becomes the victim now, “You are the one that’s doing this to me.” She’s then the offender, “You need to do this. You need to do that. You are the one that has the problem.” When he shared that with me, he said, “You’re mighty quiet, Pastor Ford.” I said, “This happened. This has been happening, and I didn’t know it. You’re telling me this. I wish I had known the things that you were telling me early on. I should have done my homework early on.” That’s what I would say to anybody who’s dealing with anyone that you even suspect that they have mental illness. If they’re amenable to it, get them evaluated and checked. You learn as much as you can about that illness. When we were taking care of her mom, I learned everything I could about Alzheimer’s. I learned that there are seven stages to it. All of this stuff made a difference. I said, “If I would

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My Twelfth Rose: A Story Of Love, Bipolar And Suicide With Pastor James Ford Jr. – Part 1

Podcast / September 8, 2023

Psalm 86 says, “When walking through the Valley of Baca, leave a well in the valley.” We have all gone through those tough, dark moments in our lives. In finding a way to make it through, we have the power to share our stories to help others do the same. Pastor James Ford Jr. from Christ Bible Church has gone through the unimaginable loss of a loved one from suicide. In this first episode of a three-part conversation with Tina Fornwald, he tells us the beautiful love story between him and his wife—from the moment they met to overcoming divorce and finding Jesus Christ in their marriage. Pastor James then shares the transformative moment that took him from Pittsburgh to Chicago, from a drug dealer to a pastor. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide How To Contact Pastor James Ford, Jr.: Pastor Ford: https://www.facebook.com/pastorjamesfordjr/ Christ Bible Church of Chicago: https://www.christbiblechurchofchicago.org/pastor-ford-s-bio#:~:text=Pastor%20James%20Ford%20Jr.%20has,at%20Trinity%20Evangelical%20Divinity%20School Pastor James Ford Jr. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PastorJamesFord — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here My Twelfth Rose: A Story Of Love, Bipolar And Suicide With Pastor James Ford Jr. – Part 1 We are in my hometown, Chicago, Illinois. Oftentimes, I tell you that the word hood means family. I am here in my hood and having this conversation with Pastor James Ford at his church here in Chicago. I want to warn you that this conversation can be heavy. This is a conversation about suicide. If this is a trigger or something you feel like you should not take part in, I ask you to refrain from reading this. If this is something that you feel will help you and will be welcoming and something that you can learn from, I encourage you to read this three-part conversation with Pastor James Ford. This information is impactful and informative, and I believe that you will find information to help you heal from the suicide loss of a family member or something that you are struggling with. Let’s get into the conversation’s part one now. Our guest is Pastor James Ford from Christ Bible Church. We are in my hometown, Chicago. Hello, sir. I’m well. You? I’m doing good. Thank you for allowing us to have this conversation. I appreciate your willingness to bring your voice to this conversation. We’re all going through the vicissitudes of life. It’s a part of life. When we talk about the gospel, the old preacher used to say that the gospel is one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread. For those of us who have experienced the loss of loved ones, especially our spouses, Psalm 86 says, “When walking through the Valley of Baca, leave a well in the valley.” The idea was that you’re in a desert place, and people would find water but then they would hide it. He said, “Don’t hide it. Put a sign up.” Baca means weeping. When going through the valley of weeping, leave a well. In other words, you came through and found a way to make it through. Put a sign up so that others can follow that and get their thirst quenched too. I believe that’s what we’re doing. We’re saying we have gone through some things. We have experienced some things. We want to as much as possible help others who are going to go through the same thing that we have gone through. You have defined the entire premise of the show from my personal loss of my husband, connecting with other people, and seeing the suffering, the loneliness, the inability to connect with other people, and the inability to be able to outright honestly share that weeping, discomfort, and the desire to connect with other people to understand what I’ve experienced, not to be a crutch that I don’t learn how to walk this walk on my own but every now and then, I want to tap into someone else who understands to have had that great love. Before we jump right into that, who is this great love? Let’s talk about how you met. I met my wife, Leslie Ann Ford AKA Sugarbabe, my twelfth rose, or my caramel mocha latte. I want to hear a breakdown of all these. Let’s go. She’s my twelfth rose. She loved roses. She got roses every week, sometimes twice a week. Fifty-two weeks in the year, she got at least 52 roses, not a dozen sometimes 2 or 3 times a week because she loved roses. I came up with this. He knew she liked flowers and he gave them to her. I want to make sure that they get an educated moment. The first time I did this, I don’t know where I stumbled on it but I said, “I love that idea.” I took a rose out and brought her eleven roses. She said, “Preacher, they got you.” I said, “What do you mean they got me?” “There are only eleven roses here.” I said, “There are twelve.” “That’s not Greek or Hebrew. There are only eleven roses here.” I said, “I beg to differ with you. There are twelve.” She said, “Why don’t you count them?” I said, “Put them up and I’ll count them.” She put them up, and I said, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11.” I pointed at her face and said, “Twelve. You are my twelfth rose because your godly personality and your beautiful spirit are greater than the beauty of all of these eleven roses.” Long after they become potpourri, you’re going to continue to blossom in the bloom. You’re my twelfth rose. I called

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The Miss-Wife Crisis: A Widower’s Tale Of Love, Loss, And Resilience With Martin Owens

Podcast / July 13, 2023

In the realm of widowhood, men silently navigate the labyrinth of grief, their strength often veiled by societal expectations. Empower their stories of loss and resilience to reveal healing transcends gender and anyone can rise from the ashes. In today’s riveting conversation, we have a special guest joining us, Mr. Martin Owens. We stumbled upon Martin’s poignant story on TikTok and knew immediately that his journey deserved to be shared. It’s essential to create a space where men can openly share their experiences and emotions to feel validated, supported, and empowered, especially in a society where their struggles often remain invisible and ignored. As the episode unfolds, Martin embarks on a profound exploration of his journey alongside his late wife, Tanya. Martin opens up about the intricacies of his grief and shares how his widowhood journey went. This heartfelt conversation proves to be the longest and most profound one yet in the history of the Widowhood Real Talk Podcast. By allowing a male perspective on grief to grace the airwaves, Martin brings a unique dimension to the discussion. His journey sheds light on the often untold stories of widowers. It is an episode that will leave you with a newfound understanding of the complexities of grief and the resilience of the human spirit. Don’t miss it. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide Email: MTACincorp@gmail.com Facebook: MTAC – More Than A Conqueror Inc. Store: MTAC – More Than A Conqueror By Illya Scott “Homesick” (My final video from a home going celebration) https://youtu.be/KKEJbBfhzwo “Stay” (changing the dream boutique closet I built for her into a memory and prayer area) https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRvp3MMa/ YouTube In Loving Memory Playlist https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfZxIrY416TogURH5CEa_UjTIHpFa1Z04 TikTok Page https://www.tiktok.com/@shecalledmemar?_t=8b1aHdRGUH5&_r=1 MTAC – More Than A Conqueror Inc Extreme Makeover For Breast Cancer Conqueror, Jessie https://youtu.be/k7N2EN-Fai8 — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Miss-Wife Crisis: A Widower’s Tale Of Love, Loss, And Resilience With Martin Owens I want you to send me your questions. I want you to write in. I want you to let me know if you want to share your journey on Widowhood Real Talk. You can email me at WidowhoodRealTalk@gmail.com, or you can go to our website, which is Widowhood-RealTalkWithTina.org. I want to hear from you. Now, you’re about to hear from Mr. Martin Owens. He’s going to share with us his journey and his wife, Tonya. Let’s get into the conversation. Our guest is Mr. Martin Owens. How are you? I’m good. Welcome. I want to say that there are not enough men out here sharing their journey. I saw Martin sharing his story on TikTok and reached out to him. I asked him if he would be interested in sharing his journey here on the show. I am excited that he said yes, and I’m excited for all the men that are going to hear his journey, and women too. We need to have more of the men out there sharing because sometimes they’re silently suffering. We want an opportunity for that healing and encouragement to come. Thank you so much. I always joke about it. Anytime you give me a chance to talk about my wife, even if it’s the tough times, I’ll take the opportunity. Tell me what gives you hope these days. My purpose. One thing I realized from the time she passed is she didn’t leave me without purpose. I knew I had a purpose. When she passed, I knew to a degree what that purpose was in terms of finishing her book that she had started and writing the second book, which is her second battle of cancer, then writing a grief book, and eventually writing our life stories combined. I know that much purpose because our marriage had a lot of purpose in it. It was sharing how our marriage was and different things. I don’t even know what God has for me in the future. I know there’s a lot there. Your wife’s name is? Tonya. Tell us a little bit about this love story that you would write from when you guys met. We want all of the tea. We don’t want a short version. We want the first date, when you were nervous, how you met, everything. The funny thing is we met online. We met on BlackPlanet.com, which was interesting because before I met her, I was dating a lot and I used that word loosely. This is an adult conversation. You’re telling us to read between the lines with that. You read all around those lines. Yes and amen to all of it. When we met back in 2004, online dating was not that much. She wanted us to keep it a secret in terms of how we met. She’s like, “Let’s say we met at a business meeting or business mixer.” There was some truth to it because I had a Black page called Philly Fix It. I was doing handyman stuff and she had a page also. She does event coordination and stuff like that. There was some truth to that, but we kept it quiet. Our promise was either our 50th anniversary or on our deathbed when we finally tell the truth. When she hit hospice, I was like, “I have to finally tell the truth now.” She just smiled about it. Who would’ve ever thought from that what would come out of us meeting like that? I’ll be honest, it wasn’t a love-at-first-sight thing. It was an interest at first sight. She found me cute enough, but she was also smart. She didn’t

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