The Life And Death Of A Father From A Son’s Perspective With Alexander Fornwald

WRT 48 | Death Of A Father

  For this year’s final episode, let’s hear from a son’s perspective of his father’s life and death. Alexander Fornwald recounts his memory with his father, Mark Fornwald, and his experience after he passed. Tina explains how helpful it is to have trusting relatives and friends to help you through the grief process, and Alexander shares his perspective about asking friends to be at the funeral. He describes how his father was a man of the community and a man’s man. Let’s join Tina and Alexander in this beautiful mother-and-son conversation. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Life And Death Of A Father From A Son’s Perspective With Alexander Fornwald This is our last episode for 2023. Whether this is your first episode of watching the show or you have been with me for this entire 2023, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, and thank you for taking value in what it is that we have to share. The conversation is with my son, Alexander Fornwald, talking about his grief journey, his experiences with his dad, and where life is for him now. Let’s get into the conversation.     Alex, thank you for doing this with me. This is my son, Alexander, and this is our last episode for 2023. I thought it was a good opportunity because, in 2024, I want to have more conversations with children whose parents have passed. I appreciate Alexander’s willingness to do this. I’m going to go to the day that your dad passed. Was I the first person to talk to you or did you receive a message from USO or somebody? Ms. Bloom was the first one to call me. I remember I was out with my friends or I was going to go out with my friends. You had said that he had a heart attack or somebody. It was a text message at first. It was between you, me, and Katherine. It was like, “Your dad had a heart attack,” or something. I might’ve called you and I was like, “I was going to go out with my friends. Should I still go out?” Somehow, I got on the phone with Ms. Bloom. I feel like she was the first one I contacted. I don’t know. I can’t remember exactly who I was talking to at the time, but I think it was Ms. Bloom. What were you doing in your life at that point in time? I was in the Navy. At the time, I was in a school, which is the school that you go to before you get your actual job where they teach you how to do your real job. Where were you stationed? I was in Pensacola, Florida. That day, I and my friends had planned to go out to see a movie and then go to this Brazilian steakhouse. That’s something your dad would like, a Brazilian steakhouse. That’s where I was when I got the call. Do you remember the day before when I was sending you pictures that your dad wasn’t feeling well and he was having gas? I sent you and your sister a picture. In one picture, we were in a restaurant eating. Do you remember that picture? Yes, I remember that picture. I sent you a picture of your dad sleeping and sitting up in a chair because he was saying that he had gas. He wouldn’t lay down in the bed. Do you remember that picture? Not specifically. The Chinese food, you remember? I do. Do you recall the conversation with Ms. Bloom? I remember I was in my dorm room and I was contemplating if I still wanted to go out or not because you guys had told me that he had a heart attack and that he was in the hospital. Things were still happening and everyone was like, “It should be fine. He’ll be okay. Don’t worry about it. Go out and have fun with your friends.” I was like, “I’ll go have fun with my friends.” That’s what we were talking about. It was like, “He’ll be okay. Go ahead and go out,” so I did. That was the conversation with Ms. Bloom. Who is Ms. Bloom to you? Ms. Bloom is the first lady of our pastor’s wife of the church that we went to growing up. It’s the church that I went to for my entire life that I can remember growing up until I left high school. She’s a pastor’s wife. My mom was a part of the leadership at the church so we had a very close relationship. She was also a disciplinarian at the school that I went to as well until fifth grade. She’s sweet to you. She may have been a disciplinarian. She wasn’t much of a disciplinarian to me. For you. Let’s be clear about that part. That’s why. You had the conversation with Ms. Bloom about going out and that your dad’s going to be fine. Do you recall the next conversation after that you had with anybody? As far as I can remember, I’m pretty sure it was you who called me. We were at the steakhouse. I was sitting there eating dinner with my friends, and then I got the call that he had passed away and it was final. I was eating dinner with my friends at the steakhouse. What happened after that call? I went outside and started crying. I sat on the sidewalk and started losing …

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