Beyond Loss: Transforming Grief And Embracing A Life Of Joy, Love, And New Beginnings With Brandy Bell-Trapp

WRT 32 | Grief Transformation

  From grief to growth, widowhood taught our guest that even in the darkest moments, love’s light finds its way. In this powerful episode, Brandy Bell-Trapp opens up about the unexpected loss of her beloved husband during the COVID-19 pandemic and the profound grief transformation it had on her life. She shares how she found solace through social media, particularly TikTok, and the unexpected community she built with fellow widows. Through laughter and tears, she shares the support, positivity, and understanding that this community brought into her life. Brandy also explores the complexities of dating after widowhood. She delves into the concept of “Widow Fire” – the overwhelming physical and emotional longing for companionship, revealing the challenges and newfound perspectives on love and connection. Tune in to discover how Brandy’s outlook on life shifted over time, allowing her to honor her husband’s memory while embracing new experiences and possibilities. Join us in finding strength, joy, and a renewed sense of purpose through the most challenging of times.   Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Beyond Loss: Transforming Grief And Embracing A Life Of Joy, Love, And New Beginnings With Brandy Bell-Trapp The conversation in this episode is with Brandy. I connected with her on TikTok, and the girl is real. Our conversation is about the passing of her husband, Tim, how he passed, and her journey forward, him being the lighthouse of their family. This is a conversation that will inspire you, educate you, and give you hope. Let’s get into the conversation.     Our guest is Brandy. We’re going to be nice because she’s a little nervous and welcome her to widowhood. Welcome, Brandy. Thanks for having me on here. Even though the Lord knows we didn’t want to be a part of it, at least we’re connecting with people who understand. That is a big thing. That is why I’m guessing you’re doing your TikTok, sharing and making it vocal between your faith and the death of your husband. You are transparent, the music and the rawness. I don’t want to fast-forward into all of that. I want to say thank you. As widowhood knows, I am reaching out to people who want to share. Sometimes people don’t want to share. It’s value-added because it creates a community to talk about this because none of us had a clue how wretched this was. You’re sitting up there sending your vows, “Until death, do us part.” We skipped over that. We don’t think what that looks like. That whole death do us part is like, “What? I didn’t agree to it at this time.” I figured I was going to be old, like a notebook old. We’re lying in the same bed together old. What is this? Tell us about your husband. How do you guys get together? When my husband and I met, I was in high school. I was working for McDonald’s. I got a management position. They transferred me to a Walmart store where they had a McDonald’s inside. I was one of the closing managers. I worked there a lot. That ended up being his second shift job. It was funny because I remember this older woman was like, “You need to ask him out.” I’m like, “I’m not his type. You’re crazy.” I always had a complex because I’ve always been a fluffy girl. He was thin as a rail. Thanks to Sesame Street. It gave me a complex and a half because they did the numbers and Count Dracula went through and did all the counting. For the number ten, they used a real thin man and a short chubby woman. I’m done with you already. First of all, my first job was at McDonald’s. I am relating to all of that. She’s like, “I think he likes you.” I said, “I think you’re crazy.” I had been up there for several months working. He kept coming in. He’s the last person to come in on his break. He would always come in and ask us and see if we had any more pies. I started putting in some extra pies because I knew he’d be coming. How do you get to a man’s heart? His stomach. That’s how you get to it. I ended up transferring back to my home store in my town. I decided to switch jobs to nursing. Back in that day, they had layaway. I put all my nursing scrubs and everything in layaway. If I didn’t have bad luck, I have no luck. I ran an order out, slid across the drive, sprained both my ankles, messed up my knees, and ended up in a wheelchair for a month because of the nonsense. What was it? I hit a hole in the drive-thru and slid right underneath the car. Were you coming by to try to see him and be cute? It was someone completely different. What ended up happening was my mother taking me up to Walmart to get my scrubs. She had to check out puzzles. He worked in the toy section. I didn’t realize that. Here he is, the toy stockman. My mother is trying to check out puzzles. All of a sudden, this man comes over. It was him, sickening sweet. He was like, “I’ve got brand-new ones that came in. Hold on, let me get the ladder. Let me help you out.” He’s over there. I’m like, “I can’t deal with this.” I rolled around the corner in my wheelchair. My wheelchair was taken off. He starts …

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