Forgiveness Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

Grief As A Stepping Stone: How To Start Rebuilding Yourself After Life Falls Apart With Arthur J. Rutledge

Podcast / January 15, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Arthur J. Rutledge | Rebuild After Grief

Rebuilding yourself after life falls apart is a challenging, yet necessary, journey, especially when navigating grief during the holiday season and facing self-doubt. Arthur J. Rutledge, a servant leader, speaker, and author of 11 Pillars of Confidence: Build & Lead an Empowered YOU, shares his profound personal experiences with loss—from his pet to close family—and offers constructive steps to consciously move toward the light. He discusses the power of “stringing” good memories to work through the darkness, the importance of forgiving the unspoken, and how overcoming “low-frequency ideas” like shame and blame is crucial to becoming the ‘Victor versus the victim’ in your own life story. Arthur emphasizes that strengthening the trifecta of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-value is key to seeing grief not as a tombstone, but as a stepping stone to a renewed life. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Grief As A Stepping Stone: How To Start Rebuilding Yourself After Life Falls Apart With Arthur J. Rutledge Voices Of Widowhood Healing Through The Holidays Has grief impacted your confidence? Has grief taken away your self-worth, your self-value, your self-esteem? If so, this conversation with Arthur is just for you. Let’s get into this conversation now. Arthur, welcome to the Widowhood. I’m happy to be here. Thank you for having me. I always ask people like, “Welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you for having me,” is that the ticker tape? If we were to see the invisible ticker tape in your mind, what would that look like? I’m an avid servant leader. The first thing I learned as I’m going through my life is to always edify the person before you edify yourself. I always want to give it back, and I’ve made that the precursor to all the things that I’ve added up to the successes that I’ve obtained in my life so far. Just that little piece, just letting that person know that they’re seen and they’re valued in my eyes. That appreciation always gets received. At least I believe it gets received well, and it just opens the vulnerability, the trust up between the two that’s, or a room of people who are looking for what that can be for them. That’s the long of it. Servant Leader In Action: How To Live With Integrity And Kindness Actually, I want to dive in and be a little bit more specific. The servant leader, the giving back. How do those show up in actions? A lot of times, we use these words to become buzzwords, but how does that show up in your everyday? I always say leadership is just a big word for us leading ourselves. The hardest thing that any leader will ever tell you are the ones who are being truly honest is that process. It is very easy to give instructions or tell somebody how to go about, how they should live, where they should go, how they can be or should be. It’s always best shown by emulating what that looks like by the actions. If I’m being a good person to myself, if I’m being kind to myself, if I’m being a person of integrity with myself, if I’m following through on the things that I see for myself and I want for myself, and I’m living that every day. If I’m telling someone one thing, and then the next day I’m waking up to a smile on my face, which I’m always telling people to get that going, and their chemical imbalance that might be there to start their day or hugging themselves or taking deep, long breaths to step into who they are, and what they’re becoming, then that’s going to, like I said, trickle forward. It’s going to echo in a way that’s what’s being expected of me. If I can give what I’m expecting out of myself, then the other person can receive that on their side and say, “This is the formula to have that smile, to have that good frequency, to have that good energy.” I’m a God-fearing person. At the end of the day, God says, “Put this in your space.” A person who is good at following and serving leader means that for me you can’t be a good leader if you’re not a good follower first. Jesus, and my Lord and Savior and God, and or whatever that looks like for people who are stepping into, I emulate in a good way, in a good, healthy, kind, generous, respectful, loyal noble type of way. We are all kings and queens, so that’s the same thing that I think people can expect from themselves at the end of the day. I don’t think it’s one without the other. I always tell people the first learning prowess, the first way we step into learning is imitation. Now we don’t have to follow people the same way we did from a young age, but to get good at that is the foundation for critical and creative thinking, standing on our own two feet and being able to give that back. Paying forward what we’re able to give lets us understand that we are interdependent in a world that maybe doesn’t make us feel like we are such at, at different points in our lives. Navigating Grief & The Holidays: Finding Your Way Through Loss Speaking of those different points of being in our lives, this conversation around widowhood, grieving holidays, once I was that person. I was this man who showed up in life that way. Now I feel that grief has taken that

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The Grief 2 Growth Journey: Finding Meaning After The Unimaginable With Brian D. Smith

Podcast / January 2, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Brian D. Smith | Grief 2 Growth

The emotional turmoil of loss requires more than just time; it demands the intentional “work” of navigating grief. Certified grief educator and certified life coach Brian D. Smith, host of the Grief 2 Growth podcast, joins the conversation to share how he transformed his own pain after the sudden loss of his daughter, Shayna, into a calling to help others. Brian details his practical GEMS method—Gratitude, Exercise, Mindfulness, and Self-care—as a foundational daily practice for healing and discusses why the expectation of happiness during the holidays can be so difficult, the power of forgiveness to release emotional ties, and how to offer genuine support to those who are grieving without unintentionally minimizing their experience. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Grief 2 Growth Journey: Finding Meaning After The Unimaginable With Brian D. Smith Voices Of Widowhood Healing Through The Holiday Welcome to the special series of Voices of Widowhood: Healing Through the Holidays, a space where we share honest and healing conversations about love, loss, and the unique challenges the holiday seasons bring. I’m honored to welcome our very first guest in this series, Brian Smith. Brian is going to share with you some interesting ideas about GEMS, moving forward versus moving on, and things to say and not to say to people who are grieving. For those who are holding space for others who are grieving, he has special tips for you on how to support someone who is grieving during the holidays. Let’s get into this conversation now. Hello, Brian, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you. It’s good to be here. When you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” what ticker tape runs across your mind when you hear a statement like that? It’s weird. In my work, I’ve been running across a lot of widows lately, a lot of people who have lost their spouses. It’s men and women, but mostly women. It’s different for me now than a few months ago. At the age that I am now, a lot of people are losing their spouses. It has become fairly common in my life. Brian D. Smith’s Essential Grief Work: Navigating Loss & Shayna’s Story Speaking of the work, before we dive into this rich and meaningful conversation, I would like to allow you to introduce yourself and to share the work that you do, how you serve those navigating in grief, and why your work is such an essential part of this conversation. Brian, thank you so much for joining me in taking these moments to share with our readers who you are and the heartfelt meaning behind your work. Thank you. What I do is I try to help people navigate loss in life, particularly the loss of a person. My story is that my daughter Shayna passed away suddenly at age fifteen. It was June 24, 2015. My personal experience with loss made me dive deep, do this work for myself, and find things that worked for me. I thought after a few years of doing that, after probably four or five years into my journey, maybe I could help somebody else. There were people who inspired me early in my journey and helped me get to where I finally got. I wanted to be able to help people get there. I work a lot with parents who have lost children. I’m part of an organization called Helping Parents Heal. I’m on the board with Helping Parents Heal. We’ve been doing that and working with parents for about nine years or so. I became a certified grief educator and certified life coach several years ago. My work is expanding now, working with people who have lost spouses, parents, and pets. Grief is not just a matter of losing a person. They could be losing a job. It could be getting a divorce. There are lots of different things that can trigger grief events. What I try to do is help people. What do I do? How do I navigate this? You feel like your life is over. How do I continue my life? How do I honor my loved one? How do I honor the pain that I’m going through, but also maybe transform this in a certain way? What I try to do is help people get to that point. The Effort Of Healing & “Grief 2 Growth” Podcast Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for sharing about Shayna. We may share our story every day. It may sound like rote to people. I believe there’s still a little bit of a price to pay when we share about them. We may have learned how to manage that grief. It’s not just a carefree conversation that our emotions and who we are are not connected to. What would you say to that statement? Yes, absolutely true. It’s interesting because I do a lot of podcasts. I have my own podcast, but I also do a lot of speaking events and stuff. People might think, “Ten years. He’s over it. He has moved on. He’s passed it.” That’s not true. I believe that the grief always stays with us. It might change in form. It might affect us differently, but I will always miss my daughter. It’s still the tenth anniversary that came up. Those anniversaries, birthdays, etc., still hit hard. I appreciate you saying that this is not something like it’s over, it’s past, and we move on. I don’t think we ever do that. I know that I won’t. As long as I love my daughter, which I always will,

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Rivers In The Desert: Healing Hearts And Broken Places With Katherine E. ST.

Podcast / October 16, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Katherine E. ST. | Rivers In The Desert

Grief touches every life, but in the midst of loss there are often unexpected glimmers of hope–rivers in the desert. In this heartfelt conversation, author Katherine E. ST. joins Tina Fornwald to share the journey behind her book Rivers in the Desert: Glimmers of Hope in Impossible Times. Together, they explore the many faces of grief — from the loss of loved ones to broken relationships, health challenges, and financial struggles — and the ways faith, forgiveness, and community can bring light into the darkest seasons. With deeply personal stories, poetry, and even the healing power of music, Katherine invites listeners to see that even in life’s deserts, rivers of hope still flow. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Rivers In The Desert: Healing Hearts And Broken Places With Katherine E. ST. Hello, Widowhood. Our guest is younger than normal, but wisdom is large. We’re going to talk about something being too much and being a lot. The revelation was profound. In the conversation about how to support the grieving, she asked some good questions. This conversation about Katherine’s book, Rivers in the Desert: Glimmers of Hope in Impossible Times, is something that’s going to benefit you, encourage you in your moment of desert, and bring the glimmer of hope that is the spark and the start to know that life will have meaning. Let’s get into this conversation. Welcome To Widowhood: Beyond The Obvious Grief Hello, Katherine. Welcome to the Widowhood. Hello. Thank you for having me. When you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” what are you thinking? Initially, I think, “I’m not a widow. I don’t know what that is.” Not that I don’t know what it is, but I haven’t had that experience in life. You always explain to me that it’s beyond being a widow. It’s that everybody experiences grief. People can relate to that feeling. When I hear that, I hear welcome to the community that you’re building and encouraging those who have gone through situations of grief. Thank you. Rivers In The Desert: A Young Author’s Journey Through Impossible Times You’re welcome. You nailed it. It is a conversation of grief and loss. With my husband’s time in this world ending, I haven’t felt like he’s lost. That is a profound level of grief, but in that we experienced a lot of pain. There are similarities in that process as far as how we manage pain. We’re going to talk about the obvious. You wrote a book, Rivers in the Desert: Glimmers of Hope in Impossible Times. Tell us. What are we talking about, impossible times at 28? I need the community to understand. “I’m going to listen to the 28-year-old in the book. What hard times does she have?” Break it down. There are so many different things and aspects. I know we’ll get into some of them inside the book. I may not have experienced what some people would call obvious grief, but there have been so many different situations and times in my life where I have felt lost and my world falling apart. There are family relationships and situations not working out, where you would think that they would be working out, friendship relationships breaking, or even my relationship with myself in believing who I am, and then finding out, “No, that’s not who you are. This is not what you’re supposed to be doing. You’re not as good as what you thought you were.” There are all kinds of realizations smacking you left and right. Impossible times came when it was all of those different aspects happening at one time. It is feeling, “What is my life right now? I want to be doing what I should be doing, but I’m in this place. This person is leaving me. I thought this person would stand by me.” It’s one thing to grieve when somebody has left the world. It’s another thing feeling left when they are still here. The painful part of it is that we are here. We could be doing well together, but there are things in the way. Now I feel alone and even feel at times that God has left. It is all kinds of grief, turmoil, and frustrations that I was dealing with, growing pains, I guess you could say at some points, and just humanity in life. Thank you. That was a very good overview. I’m going to warn you or prepare you. I let you give a topical overview. It’s called real talk. We want some real situations, some real tea. You don’t have to use the person’s name. The people leaving you, I want more of that situation. I want to hear about what that loneliness is. When you write a book talking about glimmers of hope, that hope is further illuminated when the reader understands what your impossible times were, because now they can grasp that. Another level of transparency is going to be required. I’m preparing you now. You can change the names to protect the innocence, but the description, so you can start thinking about what that’s going to look like. That’s hard. It is, but that’s why I’m preparing you. The dedication is, “For every soul that has ever found themselves in an impossible season.” What came to mind for you when you thought about impossible seasons and your readers who would take this book in those very difficult moments? It is friendships that I thought would last forever, and did not. I see a mother or father who has suffered a miscarriage. I see someone who was

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Dealing With The Passing Of Family Members With Alicia Voss

Podcast / September 25, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Alicia Voss | Family Members

Losing a loved one is truly heartbreaking. How harder would it be if you had to deal with the death of several family members? Alicia Voss is here to share how she handled the passing of her mother and her spouse after they got divorced. She reflects on the importance of forgiving even when unasked for, the importance of self-grace in navigating the complexities of loss, and how her personal relationships transformed after going through grief. Alicia also talks about her inspiration behind Good Grief Great Mourning, a platform born from her personal grieving journey, and how she helps other people go through their own stories of loss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Dealing With The Passing Of Family Members With Alicia Voss Have you ever wondered how your grief looked different if you and your spouse were divorced? What would you consider if you felt like a widow or widower? How does the difference of losing your parent impact your grief? What does the word HEMS have to do with grief? That’s the answer that you’ll receive in this next conversation with Ms. Voss. Let’s get into the discussion. Alicia, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. “Welcome to the widowhood.” What comes to mind when you hear something like that? If I were to see the ticker tape inside your head going widowhood, what would that reap? It almost sounds surreal. I used to think as a kid that that was a word for old people. Ironically, I got married young, so I know that’s not the case, especially being in the grief space. I used to think that was a term for people with a lot of gray hair and up in their 80s and 90s. It is something. Seeing yourself in that community, how has that changed the narrative for you? For me, it brings everything back into a normal perspective because I’m it. I feel like I can empathize more. I see through different lenses. When you have conversations with people and introduce in the conversation that you are a widow, do you get some response like you thought in your mind as far as, “You’re a widow,” and coming to terms with that with people? For those that don’t know, my ex-husband passed away after we had separated, so it was a little different for me. Me getting married early on was more of a surprise, but getting the news that he had passed was a shocker, for sure. Thank you for mentioning the dynamics of your situation. If you’ve been married to someone and they passed, it still impacts you. Some people may go, “They were divorced. I don’t even know why you’re talking about him anymore.” What would you say to someone that made a statement like that? It’s selfish. That’s like saying if you had a child that passed away, you have another child, so you should be okay with this new child. Each grief process is different. You’re going to process it no matter what. It’s still a part of you. That’s a part of your story. It’s a chapter in your book, I feel like. When you say process, instead of that generic term, what does that grief look like? I want to have this conversation because there’s someone reading this discussion where they’re divorced, and their spouse passed. They feel like they can’t grieve because they were divorced. They feel they don’t have the right to be sad, or they don’t have the right to elicit these emotions, but they exist. Can we dive into what that looked like for you on a granular level? Sure. I’ll start off by saying the separation and divorce was a grieving process also. Having to separate from something that you’re used to in your day-to-day life, that starts the process. It’s almost like you move from one grief to another grief. He never remarried, and neither did I. When I found out he had passed away, I felt like you were saying initially. It was like, “Do I have the right to grieve?” I had to give myself permission because no one else was going to respect my grieving process if I didn’t go through it myself. I took a few days to get past the shock. It was more of a numbness, initially. Once I realized, “This is it. This is final. No more,” then I had to start going through the stages. I didn’t deal with depression, anxiety, or anything. It was more of bargaining, like, “I wonder if this had been this way, or if this had have been fixed, his life would’ve ended up this way.” You go through those stages or what have you. I would say to the person, “If you’re not together and that person dies, give yourself grace to grieve. I know that sounds cliche, but you have the right. It is your right to process your grief even if you’re not together.” For me, I feel so free in the fact that we had some issues, as any marriage would, but forgiveness was a big factor for me. I forgave him before he ever asked. He asked me for forgiveness two weeks before he passed away. I had already forgiven him. We were friends. We had multiple discussions about different things. That made my process a lot easier. I was able to say I forgave him, and we were in a good space. I felt so free, but I still felt the pain, like, “He’s not

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Divinely Led Love: Trusting God’s Plan And Finding Healing With Dana Hueston

Podcast / December 12, 2024

Love is not always easy, but it is always worth the journey. In this powerful episode, Dana Hueston shares her emotional journey of finding love, guided by God’s plan. Dana embraced a period of singlehood, determined to honor her promise to God. When she married John, they were tested by life’s challenges, including infidelity. Dana’s faith and patience were pivotal in their relationship’s growth, as John respected her boundaries, and through counseling and personal struggles, they found healing and a deeper connection. Dana’s story reveals the transformative power of faith, respect, and God’s timing in shaping a love that endures life’s trials. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Divinely Led Love: Trusting God’s Plan And Finding Healing With Dana Hueston Dana, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you. How are you? I am well. When you hear widowhood, what comes to mind first for you? Me. Do you think you represent when people think of a widow, or what does that mean when you say me if you were to explain that to somebody? I just say Widowhood is a state of being and a time. Everybody doesn’t get to experience it. I was hoping that I didn’t and I did. I know that in the beginning, the first few years, I referenced myself as a widow. After that, I now just say single because I don’t want pity because I’m a widow. You make some really good points there but I want to circle back a little bit, but thank you. I’m going to keep those notes and we’re going to come back to that. I see this space that you’re at, it looks very light and airy. Is this your favorite space in your home? Of late, yes. The last 5 or 6 months, my daughter had noticed that I had been spending a lot of time on the porch. This is my front porch, and it’s closed in. She made reference to that I could take any space and make it mine. Even the front porch. I was like, “Yeah, daughter.” I’m a little jealous because the home we lived in before, we had a closed-in back porch where my husband and I raised our children. When I moved to Virginia, I did not have that option but my desire for next year is there’s a part of the house in the back that if everything goes well, I want to make a closed-in porch, patio, all-season room, whatever because that was my favorite room in the house. I would start the day out there. I could watch everything and no bugs because everything was closed in. In the shade, I felt like I was close to nature. I didn’t have to be out there with everything. I am very envious of your favorite spot right now. I like that a lot. I’m excited for winter to come and the snow to come and see if I’ll be able to sit out here with the heater if it’ll be warm enough for me. It’s insulated a little bit, but I think I need new windows and stuff like that. It is windows, not screens. It’s windows there. It’s all windows. I want to see some TikToks of you out there and seeing what that looks like. I think it’s going to be great. Where are you from originally? I have to say originally in Toledo, I was born in Oceanside, California because my dad was in the military. What brand? Marines, camp Pendleton. My sister and I were born in California. She was actually born on the base and I was born across the street from the ocean in Oceanside, California. My birth certificate says I have ocean-blue eyes and jet-black hair really. Are there any pictures showing that pretty? When I was a baby? Real little? Yeah. I couldn’t put my hand on any right now, but I do remember an instance when my aunt told me when my mom brought us back to Toledo and she handed her to my aunt, and I opened my eyes in her arm and she almost dropped me because she was not expecting to see blue eyes. A blue-eyed baby. My eyes, I can probably get them bluish if I wear pink, I found out. My eyes changed based on my mood. My husband used to always say he could tell he would just be looking. I said, “What are you looking at?” He said, “I’m looking to see these eyes telling me what’s going on.” I know, I’m about to say, so what are the colors that they changed and what moods do they relate to? Hazel is calm. Green is just where I’m just very spicy and then blue, that is not very often that they are blue. It’s a bluey shadish, it’s not a blue. It’s only based on color. I know that it’s like if I were pink or something like that, you’ll see that hue of the blue. I probably never liked it when I was a baby. That is so neat. Now I’m going to have to start paying attention when I see you, make sure I’m paying attention to the eye color and what’s going on to understand your mood and disposition. Much I found out just in a couple of minutes already. I found because of that, I talk with my eyes, I talk with facial expressions. I guess over the years because my eyes have always been different to people’s, I just use them as illustrations. I just talked with them. That

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