Transforming The Narrative Of Grief Into A Celebration Of Life With Sarah Hines

WRT 41 | Narrative Of Grief

  Most of the time, people could not find the connection between beauty and death. The pain we feel tends to blind us from that connection. But in this episode, Sarah Hines, the Founder of Grief Advocacy, transforms the narrative of grief because it will never go away, but we can learn to live and move with it. She also shares her experience in deathcare and grief care, discovering the humbling experience of being a part of somebody’s life knowing that, at some point, we have to say goodbye. Join Sarah in this conversation, where she weaves the tapestry of grief with a silver thread that shows the beautiful celebration of life. Find the glimmering light from the darkness of loss. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Transforming The Narrative Of Grief Into A Celebration Of Life With Sarah Hines Hello, Widowhood. Our guest is Ms. Sarah Hines. She has been down the beautiful road of grief, as she will say, for over 25 years. She has been a champion for people on their grief journey for those who are transitioning from this world. She is also now moving into how to help people with grief and employers in the workplace. Let’s get into the conversation now.     Hello, Sarah. How are you? Good. Welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you. It’s such an honor. Thank you. Tell me a little bit about yourself. I don’t even know where to begin. Wherever you want. This is your moment to shine. I have been a lover of relationships in the sphere of grief and death for about 25 years. It has led to so many beautiful relationships and opportunities that I ended up using a background in hospice care and death care. I combined that with my work life inside of technology and sales. I created a little company called Grief Advocacy, where we help organizations talk about, change, and revise policies around their workplace bereavement. It’s been a long and beautiful road, to be completely honest with you. I feel quite honored. What were the lessons that you learned over 25 years ago in your initial place of being an advocate for someone? I see the side of when we give birth, we put life into this world. I did not see any of that at the end of life. I didn’t see the same honor, attention, or celebration when we had to say goodbye to life. It’s quite a humbling experience to be part of that beautiful moment with somebody that I wanted to advocate for everyone to have a chance to honor the people they love in a beautiful way. That was why I decided that I had to focus on creating space around that honor. That’s what led me to home hospice. That’s what led me into death care. It led me back into grief care. It’s been a beautiful journey through hard things. I’m going to ask you to unpack that a little bit more. People do not always connect the idea of beauty with death. People are going, “What?” Make it sense to me that you’re saying these two words together. I want you to try to do that without using the word beauty. I want you to be descriptive. Even if you share some experiences, I’m the person going, “Explain that to me.” I want you to make me understand that. The best way I can do that is through stories. I was a volunteer for a home hospice. I was caring for a wee one. She was about eighteen months old. Brianna was her name. When she was awake, she had no emotion whatsoever. When you looked at her, she had these big beautiful dark eyes. When you looked into those beautiful sparkly little eyes, it almost looked like she was looking through you. There was no joie de vivre in the eyes. You spent your time trying to pull emotion out of her face so you could get a glimmer of it once or twice. She had an older brother and her parents. When she fell asleep, her face was full of emotion. She’d smile. She would laugh. You could see her eyebrows going up and down. You could see her teeth, those little wee teeth that were coming in. It was the most beautiful thing. As her caregiver, I would feed her bottle a little bit earlier than I probably should have because I wanted to get to that moment. You wanted to get to that moment where you saw the life in her face. I had been doing this for quite some time. I sat down at the dining room table and I was feeding her a bottle, just watching her face light up. It brought tears to my eyes because it was beautiful. It was so beautiful that the only thing you wanted was to see it. It was so amazing to see. I was crying a little bit. Her mom came out and was leaning against the doorframe, watching. It wasn’t until I looked up at her and she saw me crying. She goes to me with all the love on her face I can imagine. She goes, “Aren’t we the lucky ones?” I went, “I feel so special. I feel like I am one of the very few people on the face of this planet who get to see that. There’s nothing in this world that fills me that way.” She goes, “I feel like I’m the luckiest mom on the planet.” That …

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