In a world where loss leaves echoes, how do we navigate the labyrinth of memory? Join us as Shundra Chamberliss bravely confronts the hidden corners of grief, where the past intertwines with the present in unexpected ways. Discover how life’s diverse experiences shape our sorrow and what happens when grief is complicated by more than just the absence of a loved one. Get ready for a candid conversation that will explore the power of unlocking buried memories and the profound impact of our moments of grief. This is widowhood, unfiltered. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Unfiltered Moments Of Grief: Love, Loss, And Memory With Shundra Chamberliss My guest, Shundra, has information to share that’s going to blow your mind. The idea that our memories can be hidden, and the desire to want to unlock them when we lean into our grief. How do different experiences in our lives impact our grief? What is a grief that’s complicated by more than just the passing of a loved one? Let’s get into this candid conversation.         Hello, Shundra. Welcome to the show. Thank you. What do you think about Welcome to the Widowhood? When you heard that, what was the ticker tape across your forehead that I couldn’t see? The Impact Of Grief & Loss The first thing that came to mind was family and community. When you say that, I feel relaxed. I feel like I’m at home. I love that. I’m going to share something you shared with me when I first started this show. I remember you asking me, “Is that for anybody that’s dealing with loss?” I said, “Absolutely,” because it is family. I’m glad that you picked up on that part because grief and loss are a universal experience. If we’re fortunate enough to have lived a life where we had someone we love, then that was a gift. Living life in their absence is a lot of work. Even to be able to talk about this, I feel the emotions come on because I need them. I need the release. Some things we hold are bottled up, and we don’t even know we are doing it. I feel tense. Thank you for sharing that, because that tension does arise when it comes to our loved ones. There’s also something very interesting that you talked about with that release, and knowing that the talking, the crying, and the release are on the other side of that. Can you remember a time when you cried or addressed something, and that weight was lifted? If so, can you share that with us? That’s hard because I haven’t talked about my grief with anyone. I’ve talked with people about their grief, and I was very supportive of their grief. When you talk to somebody about their grief, I personally don’t like to add my grief to theirs because I don’t want to downplay what’s going on with them. I never get a chance to talk about it. This is the first time that I’m able to get whatever is inside because I don’t even know what I’m going to say. I’m waiting for you to ask the question. You joined me on a live, and we had a bit of a conversation. You’ve got to share there. How was that for you? That was good. When somebody else is talking, it makes me remember. I don’t know if you have sporadic times when you don’t remember stuff. For me, it’s because of the trauma that I’ve learned to suppress. I’m having a hard time remembering my childhood and the times with my mom because I learned to push it down. We do learn to push it down, but it does not go away. It doesn’t go away, but I keep pushing it. I feel like it has piled up. What has made you decide you’re done with pushing it down? I am in the place of my life where I’m getting ready to step into a new level of my life, like another stepping stone. It was this one stepping stone in particular when my daughter was sixteen and pregnant. The first thing I did was pick up the phone to call my mother, only to find a man answering on the other side. It dawned on me that my mom is not here. This is another stepping stone. I’m thinking about her. I’m thinking about her advice. I’m thinking about what she would say about my decisions and where I’m going. I’m remembering the things that she said I would do. I wanted to celebrate and hear her congratulations for me. That makes a lot of sense. How old were you when your mother passed? I was 36, about to be 37. Thank you for sharing that. Your mom’s name? Ruth. When Ruth passed, somebody said, “At least you were an adult by the time your mom passed.” You hear different things people say to the bereaved. Someone said, “You were 36 when your mom passed. You should be okay.” What is your gut response to that if it were unfiltered? I’m not going to be mean. What is the real answer if it were unfiltered? You happen to bump into each other at the grocery store, and somebody goes, “Don’t you love the month of May?” You go, “My mom passed this month,” and they go, “How old were you when your mom passed?” You say, “36.” It’s like, “You should be fine already.” If you didn’t have to filter that, what would you say? I’d