There are almost four million widowers in the United States alone. Unfortunately, there are very limited resources and services available that could help them with their grieving process. Fred Colby, a widower himself, is on a mission to make a real difference in this alarming matter. In this conversation, he shares how he raises awareness about the utmost need for widowers to access proper support systems, saving them from adopting unhealthy practices or starting an addiction. Fred also explains how widowers can reinvent themselves after losing their partners, the benefits of in-house care, and why they must never make huge decisions (or get into a new relationship) in the first year of the grieving journey. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Fred Colby On How A Widower Handles His Grieving Process Our conversation is with Mr. Fred Colby. He is the author of Widower to Widower, the conversation regarding his wife, Theresa, his journey, learning how to live again, and being able to provide a voice for the widowers who are often underrepresented in this conversation of grief. This conversation will be helpful, and I would recommend picking up his book, whether it’s for yourself trying to understand a widower or if you are a widower looking for guidance on how to manage your grief journey. Let’s get into this conversation now.     Fred Colby, welcome to the show. Tina, how are you doing? I am doing good. I am so looking forward to this conversation. I found your information on YouTube and I was talking about different things as far as when you’re prepared to date. What drew me to you were the things that you spoke about to allow someone to consider these items. The idea about envisioning walking on the beach with someone and seeing a future with them was very telling to me from your perspective. To be able to have your book Widower to Widower and have this discussion with you, I know will be very helpful to our community. I’m looking forward to it. I always enjoy reaching new audiences, so I take every opportunity I can get because I’m a man on a mission to reach the other widowers out there and help them get through this. That’s very good because you and I both know that. When you look at the word widowhood, the men are the smaller percentage that are accounted for. They don’t always have a voice in the conversation. To be able to have a conversation with someone who has written literature has been a widower and bring that voice is very important. Thank you again. Thank you. Looking Back Where are you at right now? I’m in Fort Collins, Colorado. I have lived here since 2008. My wife and I moved here to be near our two daughters who decided to move here and start having grand babies, which decided it for us. That is a deciding factor. Where were you before then? San Diego for about all my life. Were you born and raised there? What had you in the area? I was born in Seattle right after World War II and my dad died when I was about 5 or 6. My mom moved in with my grandfather, who had a place in San Diego. We lived with them for a year or two, and then he remarried. He had lost his wife. My mom moved into another place, and then she met my second dad, who remarried a couple of years later. I was very fortunate to have a second gentleman come into my life to be a father as well. Thank you for sharing that. Do you look back on that differently now, being an adult and seeing the things that people in your family experienced in their losing a life partner? Very differently. I think back to my grandfather. My grandmother had gone through a phase of dementia of some type. Back in those days, they didn’t define it very clearly, but he and my second father, my stepfather, met at a church and they had been part of rebuilding the church. After he met his new bride, my grandfather introduced my second father to my mom. Back in the day, people didn’t always look kindly on that. I think we have a different view these days. It’s still something you have to be careful about how you approach it. It brings up a very sore subject for many people and families and can become the cause of divisions and all kinds of things. I was very lucky that this blending worked well because my mom had four kids. Why did he want to take on four kids? God only knows, but he did, and then they had two more. He died when I was around 21, 22. Looking back on what my mom went through, losing her first husband after World War II shortly, and then her second husband when I was around 20 or 21, I look back on that and say, “How did she get through that?” It’s rough enough going through one, but a second one is on top of that. When I lost my wife, Theresa, it’s funny, my mom and I didn’t emotionally connect in a lot of ways, and we did not go over that either, but I could tell that she understood what I was going through and was supportive. She had a German upbringing, so they weren’t real emotive, if you will. Same with her dad. All my brothers