Grief Journey Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

The Conversations About Rebuilding Life After Loss With Anita Coyle And Mel Shore

Podcast / October 8, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Anita Coyle and Mel Shore | Rebuilding Life After Loss

Navigating spousal loss can leave you feeling disoriented, exhausted, and completely isolated in survival mode. Rebuilding life after loss isn’t about rushing to feel okay, but about discovering compassionate space to honor your pain at your own pace. In this heartfelt conversation, host Dr. Tina Fornwald welcomes Anita and Mel, hosts of the podcast Widow We Do Now. Together, they discuss the physical reality of trauma, passive suicidality, and why dark humor often becomes a vital lifeline. They reveal practical ways to support a grieving friend without offering shallow platitudes that do more harm than good. You’ll learn how small daily choices and authentic community connections can slowly restore hope. Tune in to discover why honoring your own timeline is the kindest choice you can make today. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. Watch the episode here — Listen to the podcast here The Conversations About Rebuilding Life After Loss With Anita Coyle And Mel Shore The Absurdity And Camaraderie Of Early Grief This conversation is what I’ve genuinely been looking forward to. My guests have been an amazing voice in the widow community. Their show, Widow We Do Now, is amazing. These young widows have been a voice in Camp Widow, personal communities, and other things that they have been doing for widowhood. I invite you to this conversation with Mel and Anita now. Let’s get into the discussion. Mel and Anita, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you. Thank you. What’s the ticker tape on the back of welcome to the widowhood? What would be the thing that would be going on in the background in your mind? It’s like, “I’m not going to say that out loud.” Mine would be a groan. I would say, “No, thank you.” Is it, “Can I decline?” That ship has said. Is it optional? Yes. Can we unsubscribe? No one said that, but that’s what you would want. Some people try to, but you’re always widowed. If it’s happened to you, it’s happened. Now you’ve got me interested. How would some people try to unsubscribe short of taking themselves out of this world? They don’t want to participate in widowed spaces. We’ve gotten emails from people before where they’ve been guests on our podcast, which we have. They say, “Will you remove our episode because we’re no longer identifying with the widow space?” It’s happened for a couple of people. I was like, “What?” You almost derailed me. I feel like we need to have a private conversation because I have so many questions that I’m going to need a private call because I have stuff. I’m going to make this about you because I almost went someplace. Coffee or tea? N either. I like some tea. It tastes like grass. It depends on the tea. It all does. Anita, have you had boba milk tea? You might like that. It’s all sugar. I like it, except for the tea undertone makes it taste like grass. She’s stronger than grass. The bobas are like little boogers slurping down. Have you had boba? It’s a texture. My daughter lives in California. Yes. I can’t. I had my first boba tea months ago and it felt like I was eating slugs. No offense. Mountain or beach? Mountain. Norway, so I can have beaches and mountains. We’re from the mountains, though. I need the mountains. Anita, there’s different types of beaches, warm beaches. Norway’s beaches are not warm. In the summer, maybe. Favorite comfort food. Pizza and tacos. This is so hard. It could be more than one. I love candy. What kinds? Chocolate or sour? Pie chew. She loves licorice. I inherited a five-pound bag of gummy bears that melted in somebody’s car. They didn’t want them anymore. I was like, “I’ll take them.” I have lost a whole tube to the gummy bears and have to get it. That was $500. I’m not trying to do it again. I love that, but the dental work, not good. There might be an option for you. Have you seen those newer candies called Peelerz? They’re so weird. I avoided them for months and then I finally got them because I didn’t understand what they were and they’re good. They’re in the gummy family. They’re very weird. I love them. I like them better than gummy bears. They’re not sticky like that to the teeth? They’re not that sticky. I’ll have to look into that. You have me interested. What is one thing people would never guess about you? I can do a pretty good handstand. Straight? Are you leaning on the wall? How’s it going It’s just like in a handstand contest. I often win and you wouldn’t guess that. I wouldn’t guess that. She also can ride a unicycle. She’s a clown. Is this a part-time gig? Are there secrets? I cannot disclose my clown identity. Mine’s boring. I know that it surprises people because it happens on the daily. They ask how old I am and I say, “I’m 44.” They say, “You’re not 44,” because I don’t look 44. Whatever. That’s a boring one. I would say a more fun one would be that I played college rugby with no experience. It was terrifying. I’m sorry. The flex is looking good at 40 because when you’re getting older. My daughter is constantly saying, “My mom looks the way she looks at 60. That’s why she looks the way she looks at 30.” You do look good. That is the real flex. Mel texted me that. She was like, “Tina looks so young.” Thank you. We’re both 25, I think. Exactly. What is something

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Widowhood Coffee And Chat: Reflections From Another Year Of Life After Loss With Joi Brooks

Podcast / October 23, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Joi Brooks | Life After Loss

Every year, Tina Fornwald welcomes back Joi Brooks for an honest and heartfelt check-in on life after loss. In this year’s conversation, Joi shares candid reflections on moving forward after years of caregiving, navigating the complexities of travel and social life without her late husband, and redefining what happiness looks like at this stage of her journey. Together, Tina and Joi discuss guilt, grief, self-discovery, and the importance of staying true to oneself while remaining open to new opportunities. This annual conversation offers comfort, insight, and solidarity for anyone learning to live fully in the aftermath of widowhood. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Widowhood Coffee And Chat: Reflections From Another Year Of Life After Loss With Joi Brooks Hello, Widowhood. Our conversation with Joi Brooks is my annual guest. I am looking forward to sharing this discussion with you. Joi is going to talk about life after being a caregiver, how to find yourself afterwards, and doing things after your spouse has passed. Let us get into this conversation now. Annual Check-In With Joi Brooks: Gala Event & Travel Challenges Joi, welcome back to the Widowhood. I have not left. I am still here. That is good. You are the only person that I have back every year. Really? Yes. Isn’t that sweet? You should be my neighbor. Would you be mine? We could go for walks together. We are recording, but I am really hoping that you get to come to our event next year, May 2026, here in Northern Virginia. We are having a gala, our first official big event, celebrating the widowhood, celebrating my 60th birthday, and a fundraiser. It is a 60s theme party. Excited about that. More details to follow. I would love to finally get to meet you in person, instead of so far in New York. I am such a homebody. It really takes dogs to get me out of this. You can bring the dog with you. You do not have to leave them at home. Did you hear him? You want to go? No. You just stayed there. I am saying this also for the widowhood. I know traveling can be a challenge after our loved one is no longer here. That is why a lot of times you will see galas during the holidays, but those can be super triggering, thinking about the last time you went to a holiday party with your loved one. It is not during the holidays. I intentionally did not want a formal dress up because often we remember the last time we dressed up with our spouse. We are not doing that. It is in May. There is really not a lot going on May 16th in the middle of the month. It is a 60s theme party. Your psychedelic or your colors, it is fun stuff. We intentionally tried to hit every mark to make it more appealing. Also, giving people time to think because this may be some people’s first time traveling since their spouse passed. Why not be for something fun? The Virginia Beach area is super nice. There are a lot of things to check out in the area. We already have hotels booked. If you go to our website, I will send you a link. Widowhood Real Talk with Tina Events is called Hope Grows Here. You can purchase your ticket now. You can reserve your hotel room and start budgeting and planning for everything. There are a few stories behind what you just said about traveling. Let us talk about it. When I was younger, I traveled a lot on my own before I got married. I had lots of things happen to me that I will not mention here. Not good things that could have been a showstopper had I not been a positive thinker. When I look back, I think, “That was not good.” I am surprised I made it through that. It happened like I traveled by myself three times out of the country. Every time I traveled, something happened. As you know, now that Harry is gone, my friends, my family, and everybody are telling me, “You should travel.” I am like, “No.” First, there are a lot of places I would love to go. I would love to go enjoy them with someone who can enjoy them with me on the same level. That is the difference. Somebody who can either compliment me, I do not mean, “You look lovely today,” talking about. They will be my better, I will be their better, it will be a benefit to both of us as opposed to going and just going with a group of people that would annoy the heck out of me in any case. I am like, I would love to go to Greece and Italy, but I would want to go there, and I would want to see specific things that most people would not want to see. They might want to sightsee, but I would want to sightsee specific things. Archaeological things. Like, “Let us go to this open field with one column in it.” “Why?” “It’s because it used to be blah, blah. It is in the middle of nowhere. I do not care. Let us go.” That is why I said, “They would be dragging me to the Coliseum,” which would not be bad. Why would they drag me to the Acropolis, which would not be bad? I would also want to do other things that they might consider. Life After Loss: Redefining “Hard” And Finding Your

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From Heartbreak to Healing: Life After Loss With AJ Coleman

Podcast / July 17, 2025

What does it really mean to move forward—not just move on—after unimaginable loss?” In this heartfelt continuation of last week’s episode, AJ Coleman returns to The Widowhood to open up about his journey as a single father after the devastating loss of his wife, Cory. With rare vulnerability, he shares the quiet strength it took to raise his daughter alone, the moment he found his voice, and the surprising way writing a book helped him heal. We talk about grief, growth, and the pressure to find purpose too soon. If you’ve ever questioned how to start again, this episode reminds us: healing isn’t linear—and you don’t have to rush your way through it. Let’s dive in. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here From Heartbreak to Healing: Life After Loss With AJ Coleman Our guest for part two is AJ. We are talking about his journey of being a single parent, how to determine the right time for dating, and his concept between moving forward and moving on, and a book he’s written. Let’s get into this conversation now. AJ, welcome to the show. I should say, welcome back to the show. Yes, great to be back, and thank you for this wonderful opportunity. Thank you. The conversation we had. They’ll listen to it, but they understood like all the knowledge you had from the catfish and everything else. This conversation is focused on your journey, which has made what you do and how you show up so passionate. Thank you for taking the time twice to get together and have this conversation. I want to start with something we were talking about a little bit in the pre-conversation. I want to just say thank you for bringing your voice to this conversation because I believe, and tell me your thoughts, it’s really hard for men to make themselves vulnerable and just transparent and share something as personal as this. What are your thoughts on that? The Challenge Of Opening Up About Grief & Loss I agree. At the time, it’s very rare when I first started speaking about my grief loss and being a widower at such a young age, with my wife’s passing, the brain cancer, and raising my daughter as a single dad. Many people just didn’t talk about it, especially men, because we have that idea that we’re supposed to be macho, we’re supposed to have all the answers, we’re supposed to have these even-toned feelings. We learned over time. Perception changes that the social media with the amount of resources becoming available where men, like myself, that find it’s okay to talk about the feeling, it’s okay to talk about the losses and join different groups of people to help each other through these tough times. Back when my father was little, this was never a discussion point. It was not even a thought. It just became part of society. That generation as they continue to mature and eventually into the adulthood is they would carry that same notion that we don’t talk about anything. It’s not proper. Today, I think it’s healthy. I think it’s a very important attribute that everybody talks about the feelings. Right or wrong, different or not, it’s important because that’s how you heal, especially during a grief loss. That rings so true to me. My question is, how did you go from the mindset that you were raised under to that first time that you started talking about this? What was that pivotal point? What did that look like for you, starting to articulate this? At the time of my wife’s passing, I did not know that I was pretty much preparing my whole life to handle different grief losses. Only it wasn’t a grief loss of a loved one. It could be a loss of companionship, could be a loss of an ability. It could be a loss of just having anxiety or something like that. How I prepare is just internally, is that sometimes you don’t know what you’re made of until the unthinkable happens. That’s where you start building up that self-esteem, that confidence. Sometimes you just throw everything out the window and say, “I need to talk about this.” As I continued on my journey to self-healing, I realized it’s not necessarily about me anymore. It’s about helping others overcome and cope, and eventually take steps forward within their lives so they can influence others. When we go through these types of unthinkable losses, there’s just something alive that comes in within you. I think a lot of that’s just personality-driven experience, but also being comfortable in who you are and where you want to go with it. Thank you for sharing that, and your wife’s name if you don’t mind us honoring her. Sure. My wife’s name is Cory. Have you always been comfortable with who AJ is? No. I had lived a very sheltered life about who I was. In a sense, I had grown up with a loss of an ability, which is a hearing impairment, not understanding how it would impact me not only as a child, but as a young adult in the workforce, and who I am. I chose to keep my entire life private. One of the things Cory taught me over time was that nobody cares. Nobody thinks that we are our own worst credit of ourselves. We get it into our mindset that everybody’s talking about it. Have you ever go to a room and you walk in and people are engaged in conversation, and

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The Art Of Moving Forward With Marcia Boarders And Tina Fornwald

Podcast / May 1, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Moving Forward

I sit down with my guest host and upcoming podcaster Marcia Boarders as I open up about my experiences with widowhood and my very own process of moving forward. I discuss why dealing with grief does not necessarily require you to jump back immediately into the dating scene and remarry – it is all about choosing and loving yourself. I talk about my own dating experience after my husband’s passing, which is centered on intentionality and purpose. I also emphasize the importance of having a supportive community and the benefits of undergoing therapy when navigating through your grieving journey. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Art Of Moving Forward With Marcia Boarders And Tina Fornwald Introducing Guest Host Marcia I want to introduce to you to my host. Ms. Marcia Borders is an upcoming podcaster and she is going to interview me about moving forward. Before we start that, I would like for Marcia to share a little bit about herself and her podcast because I want you to check her out too. Thank you so much. Thank you for allowing me the time to have a conversation with you regarding your show, my podcast and moving forward. My name is Marcia Borders. I am the host for What’s Grief Amongst Friends. It’s a podcast based around people dealing with grief and hopefully, my podcast will touch others and let them know that they are not alone in this process. They’re not alone on this journey because you get bogged down and you get to feeling like there’s no one there for you or you don’t know how to interpret your feelings, the things that you’re going through. After my husband passed in January 2024, his name was Noah, I had a not-so-great reaction where I felt left out. I felt deserted and I felt like, “Where’d everybody go?” Everybody went on with their life. I was inspired. I can’t really tell you how, but I was inspired to do something for other people who have had a significant loss. Part of that was starting a podcast and that’s what this is all about. Tina has been so gracious in allowing me the time and space to speak with her about her process, how she dealt with things, and the next step moving on. Thank you so much, Tina, for having me. I appreciate you. You are welcome. Thank you for introducing yourself to our community. I’m in your hands. Deciding To Move Forward From Grief I have seen a couple of your videos and I understand about you and Mark’s relationship and what you went through. I’ve been watching your TikToks and you’ve been giving us the journal readings and that’s been awesome. I wanted to journal, but it hasn’t gotten to me yet to sit and do that. I do have a journal, I just haven’t sat down with it and taken it to the next step. At some point, could you share with us when you decided or how it came about that you decided to move forward and to begin a new relationship? Can you share with us when the decision was made for you to move forward with your life? Actually, that answer does start with Mark. The way that it starts with him, there was a lot of chronic heart conditions in his family and he was certain that he was not going to make it to the age of 60. I didn’t want to hear anything about it, but he had a cousin that passed in his early 30 around Thanksgiving. Both of his parents had passed because of heart-related issues and Mark was certain he was not going to make it to 60. Our plan was actually to stop working in Pennsylvania and move to Virginia to a smaller property that we owned and to be able to just be in a place that he didn’t have to work and live off of my income because the kids were getting older. Since Mark was so certain he was going to leave this world early, we talked about what my life would look like in his absence. In those conversations, he clearly expressed, “I would want you to get remarried. I would want you to be happy. I would want you to have love in your life. I would want you to be free to do whatever you want to do.” Those were some tearful conversations because I did not want to hear that. When he did pass, I was turning 51. When he passed, it was like, I’m so glad that we had those conversations because it can be a struggle with the concept. Mark and I were together for 32 years and thinking of being in a relationship outside of one with him can elicit a lot of guilt, second thoughts, what should I do? I don’t want to do something that would make him upset. All those things were clear. That conversation I had with my husband was the setup for me to know that when that time was right, I can move forward. I want to be clear with that because I know everyone that reads this show is not a widow or widower. They are people supporting widows. There are children of people who have lost loved ones because Mark was my husband, but that means my children lost a parent and somebody else lost a sibling. Widowhood is that community. I know that there are people from all places of this hood. I

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Catherine Fornwald: A Daughter’s Perspective On Grief And Loss

Podcast / December 26, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Catherine Fornwald | Daughter's Perspective

Even though children are expected to be the ones to take care of their parents later in life, losing them is still a challenging phase to get through. In this episode, we get a daughter’s perspective on grief and loss as I sit down with my own daughter, Catherine Fornwald. Together, we look back on the day we lost my husband and her father, as well as how we dealt with the grieving process that followed. We also provide a unique glimpse into the different ways grief can manifest and the importance of open communication and support within a family. Prepare to be moved by their candid reflections and gain a deeper understanding of the long-lasting effects of grief. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today’s Suicide Prevention Hotlines & Resources. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Catherine Fornwald: A Daughter’s Perspective On Grief And Loss Introduction Catherine, welcome to the Widowhood. Mother, thanks for having me here on the Widowhood. This is great. This is my daughter Catherine, and we are wrapping up 2024 with a conversation with my daughter, raw as possible. I asked for questions ahead of time. She gave my people nothing. I told you, I don’t do questions. We are eating ice cream and having a conversation to make this as less awkward as possible. Don’t let your mother have social media. Reflections On Tina’s Social Media And Nonprofit Journey There’s truth in that. What do you think about your mom having social media? People have asked me before the podcast or the social media accounts, specifically the TikTok and everything. The answer bounces around and how I get there, but at the end, it is hilarious to see you have a social media account because you treat it like a business. That’s fair. You treat it like a business. There’s internal review for yourself, quarterly review. There’s, “How many followers did I have last time? Is this funny to put out for the next video? Am I allowed to make jokes, or should it all be serious and to the podcast?” I remember when you had somewhere between the 500 and the 1,000 followers, and it was very much like, “Should I quit?” You didn’t, obviously, we’re still here, and I don’t know what the number is now, but it’s definitely over 10,000, if not very close to 13. What about social media platforms? TikTok, I think, is doing the best out of all of them. See, that’s interesting. I think it depends on what you judge best to be. Followers and views. It is hard to get followers on YouTube, but on Facebook, we have the private Facebook account. On Instagram, there’s a lot of messaging going on in the background in private. TikTok, there’s a lot of personal engagement. It’s upfront, you can see that. With the podcast, people email me on the back end. The most public success, or the most public interaction, looks like TikTok. It just depends on how you define it. Everything else, that’s like Wizard of Oz behind the curtains. I just look at measuring them differently because in the private Facebook group, and then we have the Discord. I would have never thought to actually have a Discord, but some people that I met on TikTok were talking about a Discord and how you’re able to bring all your community together. The Discord allows people on all social media platforms to come together in one space. There is a question of the week. People are sharing their parenting. From my understanding, it’s supposed to be basically just like a public Zoom, whether you do it over chat or video. To answer your question about what it’s like having a parent who has social media, it’s funny watching you treat it like a business because it very much is to you. Every video is, “This is a 501c3. This is a non-profit.” It’s just like, “Mother, that doesn’t need to be at the end of the video.” I don’t do it all the time anymore. There’s definitely this thing where it’s like you treating it like a business and you wanting it to do well, obviously, and it’s just funny because I’m behind the scenes on the board and everything. On the board of the followers. Very much like the legal aspect of it, the personal aspect to it, so it’s just funny where you’re like, “My numbers aren’t high enough,” but then somebody else is like, “I got a brand deal and my numbers are great.” Do you even look at all the content sometimes? I do. I may not obviously tell you about it, but I check in, I repost, I go to it. You do a lot of that on X. X, Twitter, there’s like the jokes. There’s, “What, I got three retweets? Send in the money.” Like you said, how do you judge the fact that you’re doing well on LinkedIn? LinkedIn has been good for connecting with other people to be guests on their podcasts or for me to be a guest on theirs. That’s why I say, “That would be amazing to do a TED Talk.” That’s a dream. The ranking system for what quantifies being good at social media, getting the jokes to stand, getting three retweets on Twitter, like “money,” and then Instagram is like, “Cool.” Facebook, depending on what you’re using it for, very much is family-friendly, but then since we’re using it as another form of the business aspect of the social media, having five hearts is like, “People saw my stuff.” TikTok and everything, your views-to-ratio can definitely be off,

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Forever My Brother: A Journey Through Grief And Light With Nina Rodriguez

Podcast / December 5, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Nina Rodriguez | Grief

Grief is a universal experience, yet it manifests uniquely for each individual. In this episode, Nina Rodriguez delves into sibling grief and the often-unseen struggles of those who have lost a brother or sister. Nina discusses the challenges of navigating grief within a family dynamic, where parents may be consumed by their sorrow, and the importance of extending grace to one another. She highlights the unspoken truths of masking grief at work and in families, stressing the importance of open communication and acknowledging loss. Join us for an honest and heartfelt conversation about coping with grief, honoring the memory of loved ones, and finding healing in the face of unimaginable loss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Forever My Brother: A Journey Through Grief And Light With Nina Rodriguez Hello, Nina. Welcome. Hello, Tina, and thank you so much. It’s an absolute honor to be here. I love your work, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be here and with your audience. Thank you for that. I’m like, “Are you trying to get me to start crying?” We just said hello. I joked around that I make people cry for a living, in the best way. I want to explain to my audience and people this part of this conversation with us. When we chose the name Widowhood Real Talk with TinaI that name was intentional because even though this organization was birthed out of the passing of my late husband he was my husband when we look at the “hood,” because I’m from Chicago, “hood” means family to me. Being the widow in my hood means that Mark was someone’s brother. Mark was someone’s uncle. Mark was my children’s father. He was someone’s friend. Every conversation that we have on widowhood is that conversation from who was impacted by the “hood.” Everybody is impacted differently. It could have been his health provider. It could have been his financial advisor or his lawyer. Even though the widow may be the person most visibly impacted, the person that she has lost had different relationships with other people outside of hers, and it’s always important to have a conversation from different perspectives of that person who is no longer here. Their life may be complete, but we are still going through the process of enduring our lives, living, and experiencing in their absence. The Symbolism Of A Butterfly I thank you for being open to having the conversation from your lived experience and in the things that you are doing in this journey, but I want to ask a couple of questions before we get into, maybe, the reason why we are going to talk. Tell me about the butterflies that are behind you, because I am just the blue one. Feel free to turn around. I want to go there. Tell me about those and how you came about them. I will tell you about them, but first, I want to acknowledge something you said that a loss has such a big ripple effect and profound effect on everybody who loved the person. Thank you for making space for these conversations. In my case, I didn’t lose. I’m not a widow yet, not anytime soon but I did lose my brother. He was my only sibling, and he was right behind me, right there. About the butterflies, those butterflies were a gift from my grandmother. She gave them to me when I was sixteen years old, and I have had them since. It’s not like I have a close tie to butterflies or anything like that, but I do to these because they are special. They’re something that she felt like she wanted to give me, and they remind me of her. That big one in particular I was moving, and I told my husband, “Be careful with that one,” and as soon as I said, “Be careful,” he dropped it. He was so mad, and I was like, “Of course you would.” In any case, I feel like it’s symbolic of life. Sometimes it’s a butterfly with a broken wing, and it’s still beautiful, and it still reminds me of my grandmother. I feel like it’s symbolic of her presence. They are beautiful, and I like having them around. I did not even notice that one was broken, and now that you said it but that the beauty did not become less and even paying I never saw that. We focus on Sometimes. Now that’s all I see because I’m looking now. Who is not functioning with some type of broken wing? I feel like that’s so symbolic of life, and that happened also after my brother’s passing. I said, “It feels real to what we are going through right now, very in line with what we are going through.” The Grief And Light Podcast Am I correct that you do a podcast also? Yes. I created and hosted the Grief and Light Podcast, similar to yours in that I like to give a voice to the griever’s experience. Initially, it started with me exploring my grief because, at the time so, he passed September 11, 2019, when I was looking for information, I didn’t find anything about sibling loss. Whatever little information I found was usually about somebody who passed at a very old age and somebody else losing their sibling. I said, “Where are the people who lost their siblings at my age? What are the resources?” At the time, there was nothing. I found one online grief group, and it was all over the

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Understanding The Realities Of Widowhood

Podcast / October 31, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Widowhood

The journey of widowhood can be a lonely road, but remember, you’re not alone. In this episode, you’ll find a raw and honest look into the complexities of widowhood. It breaks down the enduring nature of grief, debunking the myth that it magically fades after a year. This episode reflects on how losing a spouse transforms identity and emphasizes the importance of community support during this difficult time. Be encouraged to embrace new identities and to find joy in life again, while also fostering understanding and empathy among those supporting the bereaved. Tune in for an enlightening conversation about navigating life after loss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Understanding The Realities Of Widowhood The Grief Journey To keep myself straight, I don’t have anybody asking me questions. I have a list right here. We are going to go down the list and I’m going to share some things with you from my perspective. I understand that everyone may see this from a different vantage point. I’m sharing with you my lived experience and conversations that I have had with hundreds of widows over the last few years. First of all, what I want people to know about widowhood is that grief is a journey. After one year, grief continues. There is not something magical that happens after one year that you should think that your friend or your family member who is grieving their spouse that this grief has completed itself. What may happen within that first year is they may no longer be dealing with a grief fog or a grief brain. You may say, “What is that?” When a person experiences a great loss, they can often have trauma in their brain. That will show up that the prefrontal cortex in the back of the head in the amygdala is operating differently. I know for myself that for the first 6 to 9 months, my brain was protecting me from the reality of the full trauma that Mark had left this world. What that did for me. I was operating in a fog. I was not my normal self. I feel like I was floating through and watching my life go as I was also a part of it. When I look back at that first year and I ask different friends and family members what they remember, my vision is cloudy. I know that is part of the mechanism of this body to be able to help protect me from that trauma. In that first year, they may have moved past that grief trauma, that grief brain, and that grief fog, but rest assured that there is more grief ahead of though. I say that to validate my widows and widowers and people who are grieving, and also for people who tune in to this episode who are supporting others who are grieving, and they want to know what is behind that veil that they may not be given privy to know and to understand. Please know that this is a life journey, and they need you. They need you as long as you know that person is no longer in this world. It does not stop after one year. The complexity of it changes. Recently, I received some documentation that required me to have to provide my late husband’s death certificate, birth certificate, marriage license, and DD-214. Seeing all of those in one sentence is more than a notion. Having to open up my safe, find these documents, and think about Mark’s life and death have catapulted me back into thinking of things that I have not thought of in a long time. It has made that grief return in a heavier and different way. I’m still able to function, but I know if this would have happened in that first year, I would not. It would be different, but I do know that there are still things happening in my life that allow my grief to resurface. I want you to know that in one year, it’s not over. A Spouse’s Identity The second part that I want you to know is a part of a spouse’s confidence, assurance, and identity has been wrapped up and connected in their marriage to their spouse. When my husband passed, I had to practice saying my name alone. I had said Tina and Mark for so long. I had to practice saying Tina without something accurate. It was hard to think about who I was if I was not Mark’s spouse. It was hard for me to think about who I was as an individual, what my goals were, and what were my life aspirations if they were not tethered to Mark’s existence. I did a lot of work. I did a lot of journaling. I did a lot of introspective looking at Tina and seeing, “Who am I? What is it that I enjoy doing? What gives me pleasure? What do I not like to do?” My identity was sometimes understanding that I don’t like green jelly. I had it in the house because Mark and the kids like grape jelly. I found out I like orange marmalade and that’s okay for me, but it took me to the grocery store, consciously choosing not to purchase things that I purchased on rote, and to look for things that were different. Do I like going to bed earlier? Do I have to have meat with every meal? Do I prefer going for a walk versus when I can drive? What do I want to do with my life and my career? All of those parts of my identity were something

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Here With You: Navigating Grief As A Family With Kellie Kaminskas

Podcast / October 24, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kellie Kaminskas | Here With You

Journey through love, loss, and healing with the heartwarming children’s book Here With You. Join Kellie Kaminskas, the author, as she shares her journey as a widow and how she found solace in writing a book to help children understand grief. Her son, who lost his father at a tender age, played a crucial role in the creation of this book. Together, they’ve found healing through the process, and their journey is sure to resonate with you. Kellie talks about self-publishing challenges, the need for support, and the positive response from readers who relate to her work. Let Kellie’s words inspire you as she shares her moving story of love, loss, and the power of storytelling. Kellie’s book: Title: Here With You Publish Date: July 15 2024 Trade Paperback ISBN: 979-8-218-38222-3 Ebook ASIN: B0CW1JBSC2 Format: Trade Paperback and Digital Available for purchase: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s, Apple Books, etc. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Here With You: Navigating Grief As A Family With Kellie Kaminskas Welcome To The Widowhood Our guest, Kellie, has written a book titled Here With You. It is about the journey of healing through grief. It helps children understand that although their loved one may be gone, they are still here with you. Kellie is a passionate storyteller hailing from the beautiful state of Connecticut. She has honed her skills in crafting captivating tales that transport readers to new and familiar worlds. As a loving mother to a wonderful son and their furry companions, she draws inspiration from the joys and challenges of parenthood. Her relatable story and heartfelt narrative resonate with readers of all ages. Kellie is an emerging author and speaker, available for virtual or in-person visits to schools, libraries, and events. Let’s get into this conversation. Kellie, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you to the Widowhood. What comes to your mind when you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood?” What was your first thought? It’s been a journey. I’m about almost eight years into being a widow. Sometimes, the word feels like a four-letter one, depending on the mood. I have heard this and I will repeat this. The club sucks, but the members are amazing. That concept of eight years, what does that look like eight years later for you? I want to preface it with the idea people go, “It’s been eight years. Haven’t you just?” Yeah. I think I’ve really turned a corner, honestly, emotionally, for myself. I think I was angry for a very long time based on how he had passed away. I’ve been in the mode of self-care and a lot of forgiveness in the last year. That says a lot. Thank you for sharing that. I don’t want to get into the details, but for someone who is just going to read this and they have just lost their husband this year, can you remember what that looked like for you? Yeah. It was probably the worst time of my life. Honestly, at the same time, such a blur that you don’t really remember the first year. You’re surviving at that point. That’s important to know because I am going into my eighth year, and people often see where I’m now mentally. I try my best to say, “This is not what ground zero looks like.” Please do not think that this is what I looked like when he left this world. If you were to talk to younger Kellie, what would you tell her based on what you’ve learned over these years? To give myself so much more grace than I actually did. I think I just hit the ground running, and I was really hard on myself for a long time. Those are some of the misinformation, about staying busy, being strong for other people, “This’ll be okay,” “Just let time pass.” I want to say that I found none of those were adequate or accurate at all. Grief had a little suitcase and she was like, “You got to stay busy? Let me get on. Let me come with you. When you’re tired and exhausted, I will open up the picnic basket, and we can get together.” Let me put on a song for you that you don’t want to hear while you’re driving to go start your day. Being a widow, and you have children too? I do. I have a son. How old was your son when his father left this world? He had just turned one. That puts a different dynamic to this than most people imagine. When they think of a widow, one, they’re thinking of someone older, and then the idea of someone younger with children. Have you found a community of other people who have younger children? In the sense of raising him by myself? No. Just a community with other women who are widowed with young children? I don’t know anyone. I have several people I can connect you with if you are interested. This journey has connected me. I know a widow who was actually pregnant when her husband passed. I have another widow who has seven children. She and her husband had a ministry, serving seven, and unfortunately, she’s one of several others. What area are you located in? I’m in Connecticut. Here With You These people are virtual. I will reach out to them and connect you with them because I think community is very helpful. Your son was one. The basis of our conversation is really regarding this book. I knew talking about this book without talking about your journey wouldn’t serve anyone

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Mourning To Meaning: Teresea Archaga On Healing, Loss, And Finding Purpose

Podcast / October 17, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Teresea Archaga | Mourning To Meaning

In this episode, we welcome Teresea Archaga, a Certified Grief Counselor and support group practitioner with the American Academy of Grief Counseling, who has turned her mourning into a mission to help others. Teresea has experienced several significant losses in her life which led her on a journey of healing and self-discovery, and she has made it her mission to help others navigate their own grief journeys. In this conversation, Teresea shares her personal story of loss and grief, and she discusses how she has found purpose in serving others. She also offers practical advice for those who are grieving, and she encourages them to seek support from others. If you are interested in learning more about grief and how to cope with loss, then this is an episode you won’t want to miss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Mourning To Meaning: Teresea Archaga On Healing, Loss, And Finding Purpose Introduction To Teresea Archaga Our guest is Miss Teresea Archaga. She is a Certified Grief Counselor and support group practitioner with the American Academy of Grief Counseling. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and a Master’s degree in Career Development. While her certifications and degrees are important for building knowledge and reinforcing her commitment to being a lifelong learner, nothing beats the lessons she’s learned and the self-awareness that she’s gained in her journey through grief and loss. She has experienced several significant losses that we are going to talk about in this episode in her life and healing from childhood trauma. Life as she knows it is forever changed. Without her loved ones, it was important for her to make meaning out of her loss and pain. She discovered her purpose and her purpose has been serving others. We asked that at the end of her graduation program, “What would she do with her work?” and her answer was, “It remains to serve whoever needs her.” Teresea is going to open up and share with us about her personal loss, what she’s learned in her grief journey and how she is serving others. Let’s get into this conversation now. We are welcoming Teresea to our community. Thank you for having me. You are welcome. Thanks for being here. I love having an opportunity to bring people to the community who want to serve, and the ability to serve comes from many different places. What is it that you do and how do you serve people? I am a work in progress and I think that we all are in our grief. A lot of folks think that once that milestone hits, we’re done. What I’m finding in my experience after several consecutive losses, the work is never done and I find myself going back to other losses that I’ve experienced and saying, “I felt this before. What is it?” Now I’m able to put a label on it. I didn’t have a lot of support in my healing journey, which led me to where I am in finding my purpose. I want to use my experience, strength, and hope to help, encourage, inspire, and hopefully influence others to start expressing their grief more outwardly instead of swallowing it down and trying to ignore it. Taking Action After Loss I became a Certified Grief Coach. I’ve always been a doer by nature. The talking is good but I want to also take action. It’s not enough to just say it. I need to take the steps to move forward. I think, in my case, I struggled with taking the first steps, and I don’t even know what that first step looks like. I think it’s just take a step, any step. It’s always in the right direction. That is a lot. Thank you for sharing that. Now I want to circle back to several of the different things that you mentioned. You talk about the idea of reaching a milestone, and it’s done. What does that milestone look like and what do you think people have a false conception about it? Navigating The First Anniversaries After Loss My employer had three to five bereavement days and that’s just enough for you to make the funeral arrangements, make the phone calls, etcetera. The five days are over. I looked at it as my first milestone, getting through the first steps of it. What I discovered was, that’s not enough because then you because then you have the calm and then you have the storm. You might have that storm several times over. What do you do when you’re in the storm and you’re not knowing or anticipating that storm coming? Then you have the first holidays. Those are always a struggle. It’s mostly because you don’t know what that holiday or event looks like without that individual for the first time. They have the anniversaries of their deaths. Balancing Grief And Relationships How do you memorialize that? How do you honor them? If you’re struggling with relationships with those individuals, which I did in some cases, do you recognize or honor that memorial or that relationship? I think it was important that a lot of that processing was more for me than it was for the individuals I lost. They’re no longer here, but I needed them to make sense of it and to honor it in a way that felt comfortable to me. Thank you. I like that because you’re right. Three to five days? On day one, you’re probably disoriented, just in shock, and coming to terms with, “This is a thing.” If it’s happened on a weekend where you’re just floating through that and

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The Journey Of Healing: Moving Through Grief With Addie Green

Podcast / September 12, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Addie Green | Moving Through Grief

Moving through grief is like navigating a winding path, filled with unexpected twists and turns, but ultimately leading to a sense of peace and healing. In this poignant episode, Addie Green unravels her remarkable journey of moving through grief. From the emotional struggle of losing loved ones to the serendipity of new beginnings, Addie’s tale is a testament to the power of love and the indomitable human spirit. Join us as Addie shares her path to healing and the inspiring moments that transformed her life, proving that even from the deepest despair, love can rise and lead us to unexpected joy. Check out these links to Addie’s books: BLOOM JOURNAL FOR WIDOWS: https://a.co/d/00b7LU1F MOVING through GRIEF JOURNAL: https://a.co/d/0gh9nDWx SMART GIRL MANIFESTING BOOK: https://a.co/d/05QWR9ap I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Journey Of Healing: Moving Through Grief With Addie Green Introduction Addie, welcome to the widowhood. When you hear that, what do you think? What came across your mind? It’s almost like, “How did I get here? I’m in a widowhood.” I don’t know what, but widowhood to me means family and connection. Some people, they’re not accustomed to that word. I could see the meaning of that, but it’s widowhood. How did we get here? That is amazing. The type of hood that we’re in. I’m going to read your bio so the audience can learn more about you before we get into this conversation. Yes, I am on the reading glasses team now. Addie Green is a sensual movement educator and instructor with over thirteen years of experience helping women reconnect with their sensuality, feminine energy, and confidence through movement and breath. As a holistic wellness advocate, Addie is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true self and lead fulfilling lives. Throughout her career, Addie has hosted and facilitated numerous movement workshops and vision board parties, providing women with powerful tools to create their best bodies and lives. She also creates beautiful handmade waistbands, which serve as a tangible reminder for women to stay connected to their bodies, goals, and intentions. In 2022, Addie faced a major personal loss when she became a widow. She has since aimed to transform her pain into a source of passion and purpose. She is openly sharing her grief story and offering valuable insight into grief and healing through online platforms. Addie has also authored two journals designated to help grieving people express their feelings and find solace by transforming their emotions from head and heart to paper, as well as a vision board experience work. You can find her on social media, TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, and there’ll be links where you can purchase her journals and her book, I believe right on Amazon. I will give the clean confession that Addie is someone that I found on TikTok and reached out to her. I believe that was from a post that you had on your one-year mark of the passing of your husband, if I recall correctly. We were approaching one year, and it was around, and we were coming into the Thanksgiving holiday. What is your husband’s name? Shavondai. Everybody knows him as Sean. A Story Of Love How did you and Sean meet? My cousin, who ironically enough was widowed four months before me. He was a flight attendant at the time, and she was flying into my city. She calls me and she says, “I think I’m here.” They were at a reserve Air Force base. This base is non-operational. I actually didn’t even know that people flew into that base. It was so weird. I was I said, “You’re right down the street.” From somebody in the military, that’s not weird. That’s how we want to keep it. Commercial flight, though? I guess it was the layover before they went somewhere else, but they came in. She was going to stay overnight. They were going to head out the next day. I’m like, “I’m here.” She would like, “Come to the hotel.” I take the girls. My two daughters at the time were young and we go and we meet her. We had a fun time. I took the kids home the next day and then she’s like, “I want to get some lunch.” I was like, “Where do you want to go?” “Wherever you want to go?” She starts naming off all these places. We decided on a place. At the very last minute, she changes her mind. She says, “Wait a minute, you guys have a Chili’s because I have a coupon.” I’m like, “There’s literally one. It’s right across the street.” She goes, “Let’s go there.” I’m like, “No problem.” We go to Chili’s. We sit down at table 10 and we are waiting for our server to come over and over comes this young man. He asks us for our drink orders. He was polite, he had a nice smile, and he was working on his thing. He knew how to work tables for tips. Put it that way. She tells me, “He’s cute.” She’s like, “What about him?” I’m thinking, “What about him for what?” like always trying to set somebody up. I was like, “What about him? No, thank you.” She goes, “I’m going to talk to him for you.” I’m like, “Please don’t.” I get so embarrassed by that stuff. The whole time now, I’m on edge for the rest of the lunch because I’m wondering at what point she is going to put me on blast. Sometime toward the end of our meal, he brings the check over and then she goes, “By the way, are you

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