healing after losing a spouse

How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Chanoa Inez | Dream Again After Grief

  In this inspiring episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Chanoa Inez, author of Dream On: How to Create the New Life of Your Dreams After Upheaval or Loss. Chanoa shares her remarkable journey after the sudden loss of her partner while traveling abroad and the long road of healing that followed. Together, they discuss what it takes to move beyond survival mode, rediscover hope, and intentionally create a meaningful life after devastating loss. Whether you’re newly widowed or years into your grief journey, this conversation offers practical strategies, heartfelt encouragement, and the reminder that while grief changes your life forever, it doesn’t have to end your dreams. If you’ve been wondering whether joy, purpose, and hope are still possible, this episode is for you. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here     How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez Our conversation with Chanoa Inez is going to be something you will remember for quite a while. Chanoa talks about being stuck in a cloud of grief and feeling like she can never get herself out of it. There was the moment where she realized she deserved more, and she realized she could and deserved and had the capacity to dream on. Let’s get into this conversation now.       Chanoa, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you, Dr. Tina. When you hear Welcome to The Widowhood, what do you think? Rethinking the Definition of Widowhood To Widowhood, even though technically a part of it, I’ve never used that word. I guess first because I was not married, but second because I always think of it more like someone who’s maybe in the last chapter in their life, or they feel like they’re the last chapter of their lives, and they decided I’m never going to try. I’m never going to grow for love again. That was it. Now I will be alone forever. That is never something I’ve heard in the context of this show, but there are a lot of people that feel like that in widowhood. That word makes you feel like I’m done. I do not have anything to hope for. That life has completed itself. That’s because widowhood is often connected to someone older, someone who is way past in their life and has done all the different things, but yet they’re not done. It’s never. People do not feel like it’s connected to someone younger. Now you mentioned you’re part of it, but not part of it. Can you elaborate on that a little bit more? I would say because, when my boyfriend passed away, we had plans to get married. He even wanted to start having children shortly before he passed away. I delayed it because I said, “We’re moving to another country.” Obviously I had some guilt about that, as you can imagine. It would not have, it was not supposed to be that way. We were not married. Everyone considered us like, that’s it. I was the stepmother basically to his son, and we lived together. I would say technically, I think they usually reserve it for people who are married. Do you think that’s unfair considering the level of commitment that you had and how invested you were, and people are not seeing what you’ve lost for what you have because of a term? Yes, thankfully, like family and friends, nobody looked at it that way. They knew how we were. They were inseparable, and everyone knew our commitment to each other. It was complicated, in some ways, like, for example, we pulled our funds and moved to a foreign country, and he passed away within 24 hours. We were not married. I had no access to the funds. Thankfully, I had friends who helped me out. Protecting Assets in Unmarried Relationships Eventually, his family was able to get that money out. It was just able to be like, let that be for his son. Those are the kinds of things you do not think about. You’re like young people, and you’re like, “We’re moving and we need a foreign bank account,” and all these things. There are so many technical ways, like even if somebody ends up in a hospital and they have not passed away, where if you’re not married, then it’s very difficult because technically that paperwork, they’re going to see things differently and you’ll lose access to certain privileges, I’d say. I did not think about this when we had our pre-episode conversation, but hearing you talk about it now, what advice would you give to someone who’s in between? We’re married, and we’re in this committed relationship that would be a good safeguard for them and their partner. It really depends on the nuances of what they need to protect. I would definitely say some paperwork, for example, us deciding, “Let’s put our money together and put it in this account. My name should have been on the account. There should have been some there.” We’re just thinking. We’re young, of course. We’re waking up tomorrow, and everything’s fine. There’s nothing to do there. Just that, like, see what nuances you have together. You live together, and one of you owns the house? If something happened, would you want the other person to have that house? This is paperwork that needs to be taken care of because you’re completely shut out if anything happens, regardless of family’s efforts. Thank you for that. That is going to ring true to people because people that are tuning in

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What A Hospice Chaplain Wants Every Widow To Know About Grief With Phil Allen

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Phil Allen | Grief And Faith

  In this episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Phil Allen, a hospice chaplain and author who has spent more than three decades walking alongside people facing loss, death, and life’s most difficult seasons. Together, they discuss what grief really looks like, why healing cannot be rushed, and how faith can become a source of comfort rather than pressure during widowhood. Drawing from his book, The Ache in the Ordinary, Phil shares gentle wisdom about finding God’s presence in everyday moments, embracing honest conversations about pain, and discovering hope even when answers are hard to find. Whether you’re newly widowed, supporting someone who is grieving, or seeking encouragement in your own journey, this conversation offers compassionate insight and practical hope. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   What A Hospice Chaplain Wants Every Widow To Know About Grief With Phil Allen Our guest is Mr. Phil Allen. He’s worked as a lawyer, a pastor, a counselor, and now as a hospice chaplain. His book grew out of that winding path. Let’s get into this conversation now.     Philip, welcome to widowhood. Thank you. It is an honor for me to be here. Honor, thank you, welcome. People usually don’t gravitate that way towards the whole grief thing. Why is that an honor for you in welcome? Naming The Reality Of Universal Pain It’s because we all have it. Often, we think of people in the major seasons of life where it’s just horrible. Certainly, a lot of your readers are in that or have come through that, going through it. The reality is, whether we’re in one of those huge losses or it’s just the pain of life, we all have it. There’s part of me that wonders if somehow culturally, we’re trying to condition ourselves to not admit pain. Probably many years ago, I would not have said if it’s an honor to be on a grief show, but now I do just because so many of us are experiencing it. Having the freedom to talk about it and name it is an honor. What if the world was more welcoming to reality? Life and pain go together. Instead, my life is only amazing when it looks fabulous and airbrushed. Everything is perfect. Can perfection be part of pain in grief? Pain and grief lead to perfection. I suppose that I’d probably need to condition that by saying, I think that so much of perfection is connection. It’s ultimately through connection to God, but connection to each other as well. We most fully become the people we were intended to be. Yes, certainly in this life. Grief is part of perfection. A path to perfection. What a great question. What if the world were open to it? I feel like we’d all be more complete. We’d all be more whole human beings. We’d have space for each other and for ourselves that we don’t always have. For the person that heard everything you said, and was like, “Yes,” and then you said that God word. That’s the part that they wrestle with and feel like, “I’m not sure if that’s part of my story.” Do I understand that? To give you a little bit of my background. I was a pastor for a church for 30 years. I got burned out entirely and it was a spot where I didn’t think I believed anything. I didn’t honestly care if I believed anything or not. I went through a process where the only thing I can say is, from my vantage point, God gradually reintroduced himself to me. Finding Acceptance Through Spiritual Wrestling As he did that, I found a freedom, an acceptance, and an invitation in him that I hadn’t before. I’m a hospice chaplain now. One of the things that I will talk about with patients who don’t believe, but who will let me visit still is, “It’s okay to wrestle with whether you believe, what you believe, or how you believe. God’s bigger than that.” There’s a freedom also in just allowing ourselves the questions and the doubt and saying, “That doesn’t disqualify me from anything.” It can be a place of greater intimacy. Other clergy that are reading and can resonate with the words that you said but they’ve yet to say it out loud or share even come to terms in their own mind that they are there. What would you share with them? On one hand, I’d shared with them a caution because that was part of my burnout. I do have the sense that there are times and places where the church demands an unfair certainty from the clergy. Clergy are expected to have the answers, for their belief to be solid, their family to be healthy, and not to have doubts. I would caution them in maybe recognizing that in themselves that there are probably doubts there. Removing The Burden Of Certainty For Caregivers There’s probably anger and uncertainty. It’s okay. I was a human being 30 years ago, 20 years ago, 10 years ago, but I didn’t let myself be. I didn’t let myself have doubts, anger, and uncertainty that I was so willing to affirm and embrace in other people but not in me. I’m something greater. I’d just like to say it’s okay for you to genuinely feel lost at times, angry at times, mad and uncertain. It’s okay. What is the difference between being a hospice chaplain and a pastor? Someone looking from the outside is like, “Clergy is the same thing.” Share and help educate the

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Why Grief Feels So Overwhelming And How To Begin Healing With Dr. Audrey Davidheiser

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Dr. Audrey Davidheiser | Grieving Wholeheartedly

  In this episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Dr. Audrey Davidheiser, licensed clinical psychologist and author of Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul. Together, they explore why grief can feel so overwhelming, how emotions deserve compassion rather than suppression, and practical ways widows can begin healing after the death of a spouse. Dr. Audrey combines psychological expertise with a deeply compassionate approach to help grieving people navigate loss with greater understanding and hope. Whether you’re newly widowed, years into your grief journey, or supporting someone through loss, this conversation offers practical insight, emotional validation, and evidence-based tools for moving toward healing one wholehearted step at a time. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here

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Widowhood Secret Santa Program Application

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Bringing Joy & Support to Widowed Families

This application is open to all widows and widowers with children between the ages of newborn to 18 years old. Special needs children over the Age of 18 are also eligible.

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  • All gifts will be handled through your Amazon Wish List link.
  • A completed consent form must be submitted for consideration with this application.
  • Nominations will be announced on September 1st.

Walk For Love 2025

Support grief awareness and Walk For Love in style. Proceeds help fund free grief support programs. Merchandise is available now, with new batches printing every 15 days — so order early to ensure you receive your items before the August kickoff on August 3,  2025

🛍️ How It Works

- Order anytime — Bonfire prints new merchandise every 15 days

- First shipping window: Orders placed by July 11 ship between July 1–11

- All items ship directly from Bonfire

- Order early to wear your gear for Walk For Love in August!

👕 Apparel – T-Shirts, Sweatshirts & Hoodies

🛒 Order here: https://www.bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-1

💲 Price: $23–$42

📏 Sizes: Youth to 3XL

Over 20 different colors

📝 Notebook

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-notebook-1

💲 Price: $22.99

Great for journaling, writing affirmations, or gift-giving.

☕ Mug

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-mug

💲 Price: $19.99

Sip your morning coffee with a message of love and remembrance.

🚶‍♀️ Travel Mug

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-travel-mug-1

💲 Price: $24.99

Keep your drinks hot or cold while walking for love.

💧 Water Bottle

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-water-bottle-2

💲 Price: $29.99

Hydration meets heart — perfect for walkers everywhere.

📣 Additional Notes

At checkout, encourage shoppers to select your board member's name from the referral dropdown to help us track outreach.

Use and promote hashtags: #WFL2025 and #WRTWT

Perfect for walking during the event or repping all year long.

Mental Health Walkathon to provide encouragement and inspiration for the grieving struggling with depression and isolation.

During the Walkathon, we walk together, united in our mission to support mental health. From August 3 - 9, 2025 we encourage you to walk one mile daily. Share your journey by posting a picture on your favorite social media platform with #WRTWT #WALKFORLOVE, and let’s inspire others to join us.

Funds from the Walkathon will allow Widowhood Real Talk With Tina to conduct an Annual Grief Garden and a Butterfly release ceremony and provide participants journals & pens.

Three ways to participate

Purchase merchandise ~ In Development

Donate: https://app.99pledges.com/fund/walkforlov

Make your pledge, 1-mile daily day August 4 – 10, and post #WRTWT #WALKFORLOVE: https://app.99pledges.com/fund/walkforlov

To Start your pledge team, email widowhoodrealtalk@gmail.com for details.

Register on Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1223004923649?aff=oddtdtcreator