When navigating the profound landscape of grief or trauma, communication often feels like crossing a minefield. Your mind is foggy, your support system is silent or saying the wrong things, and misunderstandings are inevitable. Why do our best intentions get lost in translation, and how can we repair these crucial connections? In this essential discussion, psychotherapist Dr. Patricia Timerman introduces her revolutionary IAP (Intention, Action, Perception) model. Discover the simple, actionable pattern you can use to bridge the communication gap, stop making hurtful assumptions, and confidently use your voice—even in your foggiest moments. Learn specific tools like the power of the “pause” and the use of code words to ensure you are heard, understood, and supported during your darkest times. If you’re ready to fix communication misunderstandings and regain a sense of safety, this conversation is for you. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The IAP Model: How To Fix Communication Misunderstandings In Grief And Trauma With Dr. Patricia Timerman One of the things that we struggle with a lot during our grief is communication, whether or not our words are being understood, or understanding the people around us, because our minds are so foggy. What if you could obtain a model that gives you a pattern on how to improve your communication even in your foggiest moments? What if you learned how to pause? What if you learn details that would help people around you understand if you want to continue being invited, if you want something else, and the ability to use your voice when you feel most traumatized and dealing with profound grief? If that’s something that you’ve wanted, then this conversation with Dr. Patricia is for you. Let’s get into the discussion.     Dr. Patricia, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. When you hear “Welcome to the Widowhood,” what’s the backstory? Most people go, “Widow, dying, grief. Dr. Tina, what are you talking about why do I want to be here?” I can appreciate that. Due to the world I live in, I think about resilience, redefinition, and new beginnings. That’s what comes to mind for you. That’s fair. Tell me a little bit about your journey, the work you do, and how you got here. Dr. Patricia’s Journey To Grief And Trauma Work I’m a psychotherapist. It became easier. My husband says that I have a million letters behind my name. I’m a licensed mental health counselor, a marriage and family therapist, and so on and so forth. My journey has taken me to unexpected places. I never thought I would be a therapist. I went to NYU for pre-med. Pre-med is not a major. Although let me tell you, it should be because there’s so much. You need to have a major, which becomes secondary. I did Intro to Psych and Intro to Political Science. I said no to psych, and my bachelor’s is in Political Science. Look who’s laughing now. It happens. I think this path was chosen for me. When I went into my Master’s, I was looking for something in education, but there was something about the curriculum in marriage and family therapy at Barry University that spoke to me. I don’t know another way of saying it other than it spoke to me. It’s going to go back to the question of widowhood from earlier. In my Master’s, when we do our practicum and internship, there is a site where you go to practice all the theories you’ve learned. My site was the 1-800-SUICIDE. I got to learn so much. My mother-in-law says that there are people for everything. I love working in that space of grief and loss because there is so much pain. It’s like it bridges or breaks this wall of emotions that you didn’t know existed until you face that loss. Once you’re able to process it, it also allows for deeper levels of every facet or every emotion. Those could be deeper levels of happiness, deeper levels of enjoyment, and deeper levels of sadness. It’s such an unknown space. It’s like the deep sea. We don’t know much about it. When I look at the losses, we unravel or recognize a different space that we didn’t know existed. It’s a redefinition of who we are as widows or widowers. What does that mean? We’re given a different name than we had before. I worked at 1-800-SUICIDE, and I focused a lot on prevention and intervention. When I graduated, I facilitated the suicide loss group for about ten years with the Florida Initiative for Suicide Prevention and went to postvention. That’s what my dissertation was about. I have a big love for grief and trauma. Thank you for that. A total side note, how is your husband like married to someone who does marriage counseling and therapy? Do you put that down? It’s like, “I’m in wife time,” or is that always in the back of your mind? How do you separate the two? He lived in Gainesville. He was going to law school. I lived in Miami, so we’d go back and forth. I remember this one time I went up to Gainesville to visit him. The two of us sat in the car, and as we started talking, I became a therapist. I remember we were in the civic. I went this way, and he went this way in the car. It was such a weird dynamic. The two of us vowed never to be in that space again. You can never take the therapist out of the person. That’s the