Grief, Loss, And Hope: The Unseen Blessings In Our Hardest Battles With Tony Lynch

Widowhood Real Talk | Grief

  Within the pain lies the power to transform. Today, Tony Lynch shares his journey to show that we all have inner strength and that our deepest wounds can lead to healing. Tony’s life story shows how strong people can be, from a difficult childhood to becoming a father, facing loss, and dealing with personal struggles. As an introvert, he shares how he found solace in himself, but also discovered the importance for men to have a safe space to share their stories and feel their grief. This led him to create “Memories of Us,” a nonprofit organization that supports men going through grief. From touching stories to personal transformation, this episode will help you feel seen in your grief and show how you still have hope. Tune in now! Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Grief, Loss, And Hope: The Unseen Blessings In Our Hardest Battles With Tony Lynch Our guest for this episode is Mr. Tony Lynch. Yes, he is an author. Yes, he owns a nonprofit, but. what you will hear in this conversation is the life struggle that brought him to the place to accomplish the items that you may see on the surface. His journey is deep. The troubles he has experienced, the lessons he’s learned in life, and his ability to look at life in four different ways from being the victim, the villain, the superhero, or the observer Let’s get into the conversation now.     Welcome to the Widowhood, Tony. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. Where are you at this current moment? At this current moment, I am in the beautiful Loveland, Colorado. Is this where you’re from originally? No, I was originally from Newport News, Virginia. That is right down the road from where I’m at. I’m in Norfolk. I grew up right across the water. I used to fish the James River. I have family over in Norfolk, Hampton, Virginia Beach, Richmond, Norfolk, and Chesapeake Bay. I have parent family over in Kentucky tuck. That’s what my great-great grandma used to live. All of that, Smithfield. A lot of people don’t know anything about Smithfield. I’m like, “Smithfield is the place that you want to go to get your fresh food.” You know what I’m talking about. What has been the journey from here in the Hampton Roads area to where you’re at now? Take us as long as you want with that. Take that wherever you want. To explain the journey, I have to go back to when I was six years old. I was introduced to a very very dark world where the reality was that there were people capable of doing bad things to other people. At the age of six years old, I was molested by my neighbor’s son. When it happened the first time, I tried to tell someone and no one believed me. They were like, “Nobody does that to little boys. You got to watch out for your sister.” No one believed me. When it happened again, I had to make a decision. I said, “No more. I didn’t like it.” When it almost happened the third time, I took a knife and stuck it in his stomach. I told him, “Go ahead and scream. Since nobody wants to believe me, now they’re going to believe me.” I was like, “As soon as you do, my family is going to kick your butt.” I became a different kid after that. The loss of innocence and everything else. On one side, it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. On one side, I’m a mama’s boy. I have a sister who’s two years younger than me. I’m the protector. I’m an older brother. I’m a straight-A student in school. I went to Dunbar Elementary, Dunbar Middle School, up until Ferguson High School. During that time, I was living two lives. On one end, I’m a mama’s boy. On the other hand, I’m a drug dealer and almost a gang-affiliated kid. At the age of eleven, everything blew up out of proportion. I didn’t even realize it. Looking back on it, it was slowly from 11 to 13. Within that short amount of time, which seemed like it was forever, I went from selling nickel rocks to selling kilos to meeting people. If it was on a movie screen, that’s the only way I’d be able to describe it. You see people like the Italians, etc. These were the individuals that I was meeting. People came down from New York and Washington DC. We all know about how all that goes in Little Haiti. We all know how it is. These are the people that I knew at a very early age who were like, “We see what you’re doing.” I was so young and everything. We grew up in the projects. We grew up broke, and I wanted to do something. I didn’t want to be broke. I knew that if my mom found out, she was going to break my butt in half. I had to maneuver that world, and there was a lot of things I did in front of her that she never even knew that I was doing. I would have brand new cars out in front of my mother’s house, and my mother would like, “Whose car is that?” “I don’t know, mom.” I was so young. It would be out there for a little bit. Sometimes when she was gone, I went out and moved them down the street …

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