As adults, we hold the power to make a world of difference in the lives of grieving children. Deborah Brown, Director of Grief Information for Teachers and Services, shares her journey and invaluable insights into supporting young people through difficult times in this enlightening conversation. She discusses the importance of understanding children’s grief reactions, providing emotional support, and using practical tools like journals and workshops. Deborah’s passion for helping others shines through as she discusses her mission to bridge the gaps in current support systems and ensure that everyone has the resources they need to navigate grief effectively. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Supporting Children Through Grief With Deborah Brown Journey Into Grief Work Our guest is Ms. Deborah Brown. She’s the Director of Grief Information For Teachers and Services. She is an advanced Grief Recovery Method specialist, published author, trainer, writer, and former head teacher. Grief Information For Teachers and Services teaches adults to help children deal with the emotions associated with loss, any kind, such as death, divorce, moving, school, and many other losses. Deb, thank you. Welcome to being here to the Widowhood. Thank you for having me. How did you get into this work? The first thing that happened was I received a telephone call from a parent going into palliative care when I was a head teacher. That meant that young person was about to lose their mom. I’d lost my mom only a few years before that. A deep empathy came from me. I was 38 when my mom died. It was a horrendous and awful thing. I was worried for this young person who was about to lose their parent at the age of 8 or 9. That started a journey for me researching what support is there out there for children. At the time, I’d been a head teacher for only a few weeks, but I’d been involved in the world of education for several years. It made me realize when I received that call from that parent that I didn’t have any qualifications or skills to be able to support children through bereavement. It made me think, “Why don’t we have those skills? Where is the training? What do I need to know?” We can be empathetic on the telephone. Most teachers are incredibly empathetic, supportive, and understanding and want to do their best to support children, but with what tools?     I started to research. After all sorts of dead ends in terms of the paths that I was finding, I came across the Grief Recovery Method. The rest is history in many respects. The Grief Recovery Method is wonderful. I became a Grief Recovery Method specialist several months after that. We had a lady called Catherine Best, who is heavily involved in the grief recovery team in the UK. She came to help us deliver a course called Helping Children with Loss at our school. We trained quite a few of the staff and consequently supported lots of the children. That was the start of my journey. It’s continued to get better since. When people hear the word grief, they think it is solely related to the death of a loved one. How did you transition that word beyond that scope? I’m glad you asked that question because you’ll notice that I used the word bereavement. I was looking for bereavement support at the time. Several of my losses were bereavement. My mom died in 2013 of breast cancer. My sister died in 2016 of cryptogenic liver failure. I knew that children who were either bereaved or going to be bereaved needed support. I hadn’t realized until I came across the Grief Recovery Method. There are a lot of children grieving who are in a situation where their parents are divorcing or separating. Children who are moving house or moving schools are forgotten about in terms of how sad they feel about the friends they’re about to lose because they’re moving to school. If somebody is moving school, they’re moving area. They’re also moving house. There are multiple losses. We call them secondary losses. I don’t think a lot of people realize what children are attempting to deal with. We’ve got a lot more learning to do when it comes to how we support children through those different types of loss. Children’s Forgotten Grief You may mention I would like to dive into it. Children are forgotten in this process. Why do you think that is, and how can one recognize that they have forgotten their child in this process? The reason why children are often forgotten is that when we have a situation where we are dealing with grief ourselves as adults, whatever the loss, we are deeply sad, angry, frustrated, or shocked. There are many different potential emotions that we are self-absorbed in those moments and our children are often in the way of that grief. My husband comes from a slightly different area in the UK from me. I’m from Manchester, and he’s from Newcastle. They went to Newcastle with their dad to see their grandparents whilst I had taken time to grieve alone. What I hadn’t realized at the time was that grieving alone wasn’t serving me. It wasn’t serving my children. It gave the wrong impression to my children that my grief was more important to theirs and that my grief was something that I needed to do alone. They were only gone for two days. When they came back, they were expecting me to be back, happy, and okay again because they were only young at the time of my mom and sister’s