During the holidays, grief can feel particularly overwhelming. Happy memories with a loved one who already transitioned flood in amid the season’s festive mood, and it is certainly a bittersweet feeling. In this episode, I cherish the memories of my late husband Mark through letters, photos, and cherished possessions. As I reminisce on our time together, I also talk about the significance of finding comfort in your loved one’s memories and how to manage your own grief as it hits you hard during the holidays. Join me as I guide you through this emotional landscape and support you in navigating this season with intention and grace. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Gift Of Memories: Love’s Legacy During The Holidays It is November 28th, 2024. Yes, it’s Thanksgiving. It can be triggering. It can be easy breezy. We don’t particularly know because grief has a funny way of just showing it. I would like to invite you, December 28th, 10:00 AM Eastern time. I am having an exceptional Thanksgiving group support group. You can register on Eventbrite, but the meeting is taking place confidentially on Zoom. You do have to register in advance and depending on when you’re reading this episode, you may have time to be able to make it. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and you are not alone. I am on this journey with you and that’s why I’m available at 10:00 AM because I have found, when you’re able to start the day in a safe space with people who care and make all the difference in the world. Some of the people we may spend the holiday season with are not familiar with the gravity of this experience of losing a partner. I want you to know that throughout the world, there are people going through this with you.     Embracing Memories We’re discussing memories and the first thing that people ask me as it relates to memories is, when is a good time to start embracing memories of your loved one? Most of the things as it relates to grief, I cannot tell someone when is the best time for you. I will say that if looking at those memories calls you to much pain that it makes you dysfunctional. It makes it hurt and it makes it feel like you just have a difficulty showing up in the day. It may not be a good time for you. If you look at the memories relating to your loved one and it causes you some sadness. Those are happy tears of remembering those wonderful moments and you are able to embrace those moments and still continue on with your life. It may be a good time for you. That may be the next day. It may be five years later. Everyone’s journey through this grief is different, but I would ask you to consider as you’re thinking about, Am I holding up after watching these memories or looking or reading letters?     Sharing Memories Through Letters If you find out that it’s no, then it’s no. If you find out that is yes, then you have the green light to go forward. In the concept of discussing memories, I am going to share some of my favorite memories and experiences and things that have come out of Mark’s passing with you. The first thing that I want to share with you are some letters that Mark wrote to me when I was stationed in Korea and he was in Honduras and also Fort Huachuca, Arizona. When I was in Korea, I purchased this box. It was so frilly and it’s so cute. I said, “This is going to be where I keep my letters that Mark sent me while I was stationed in Korea.” I had no idea how important this box would be in my life. When Mark passed, I instantly thought of this box and I was going through the house trying to find it. I had not seen this box in years. I knew it existed, but I forgot where I placed it. I went into the basement and I was going through all these boxes that had not been opened in years. I was frantic and distressed. I could not find it at all. I started to wonder, had I thrown these away? What happened as my brain was in such a grief fall. I could not think straight. A little bit of time passed and I found it. It made me feel so good. Even though I found it, I did not open it and I didn’t read the letters. I was not ready for that, but I was ready to know where this was and it existed. I did pick out a couple letters I was going to read in advance. Mark and I would send each other tapes while I was in Korea and he was still back here in the state. We had these two little miniature reporters that we would use to send letters back and forth to each other. Now, interesting enough, this contains the letters that Mark sent to me. I don’t know where the letters are that I sent to him. I have no clue. There are some cards. The letters are in the box. There are some cards that Mark sent to me over time and a few other different things. I did put his obituary and then also a card from his obituary. It seemed right to put it in here with everything else. I haven’t looked at the cards, so we’re