Life After Loss Spouse Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

Finding Faith And Healing In Widowhood With Danny Lesslie

Podcast / July 30, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Danny Lesslie | Widowhood Faith And Healing

Dr. Tina Fornwald connects with author Danny Lesslie to discuss widowhood, faith, and healing through the lens of profound personal loss. They discuss the raw reality of losing a spouse to terminal illness and how to navigate the overwhelming isolation that follows. Danny shares how he and his late wife co-authored a unique memoir, Thank You, Cancer, that captures both of their voices during a five-year cancer battle. Together, they explain why friends need to sit in the mud with grieving spouses rather than trying to fix unfixable pain. You’ll learn practical ways to involve children in family healing and honor your late partner while building a renewed life. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Finding Faith And Healing In Widowhood With Danny Lesslie Thank You, Cancer is a powerful memoir about love, loss, resilience, and faith, co-authored by Danny and his late wife, Raffi. It tells the story of their journey through Raffi’s five-year battle with stage four cancer and the life they built together in the face of it all. Let us get into this conversation now with Danny as we talk about Thank You, Cancer. Overcoming Awkwardness To Connect Through Grief Danny. Welcome to the Widowhood. How are you? Thank you so much. Thank you so much. When you first heard widower, were you thinking, thank you so much? Absolutely not. I can tell you that it feels wildly alone. Hearing someone say welcome is nice, right? A lot of people just tend to run away from the conversation. They tend to run away from all of it, and we cannot run away from it. That gets weird. That was why I was like, “Thank you.” That is probably one of the things that I try to work on the most with my nonprofit. When you said it is wildly alone, I do not think that people around us realize how much we need connection more so than maybe before. We need to get over being awkward and lean in. The awkwardness I have found is not due to someone not caring. It is due to lack of experience and tools, and they just do not know how to connect. I always tell people that the way it felt to me when this first started was that after the initial period when your person passes, and family is around, and people are checking on you, it feels like you are sitting on an island and it is just drifting further from the mainland. You have no control over it. Life is going on as it is. You are just watching it. There is so much distance that people really avoid it because they do not want to make you sad, or then eventually they do not even know. We live in a new city now, so no one knew her here. It is this huge separation. That is so real, and it is so invisible. I have thought about the idea of people relocating, and now do I tell people when I introduce myself, or do they just get to know this version of me, and we do not make that part of the original introduction? How have you navigated that? Honoring Your Late Spouse In New Surroundings There is beauty in both. We moved six months before we lost my wife. Her name is? Raffaella. Say that again. Look at that smile. Go on. We moved here, and she was very ill. Her out-of-the-house time was very minimal. There is no one here that knows her. That is really nice in some regards because you do not bump into people that want to do the emotional. That is nice because if I were in my hometown where everyone knows me and I knew people all over, that would be a constant hurdle where I would want to stay at home. I would not want to go out because I keep running into people. It has been a real gift in that regard. There are people that I meet that are genuine relationships, and I feel like I am lying to not tell them about her because she is the heart of our family. She is the mother of my children. She is the love of my life. How do I meet someone and not talk about her? Rarely does that conversation find someone who can hold space for it without either emotions or trying to get out of it or feeling awkward or apologizing to me. I can solve them, and that is weird. There are just so many things. I can totally relate to that. My husband and I spent 32 years together. I cannot talk about my life and not talk about him. No part of that exists. I have learned just to share past that being uncomfortable because he is a part of my life. My children, we had together. That is part of it. People really care. It is not that they do not care. They just do not have the tools to have that conversation. I was that person. I was the one. I did not know how to deal with grief or what to say. I was the platitude guy or whatever. It is just that awkwardness. You just have to get through it. I love that you said that you were that guy. When my husband passed, I had this Rolodex going in my mind of all the people I knew that had passed. It is like, “Did I say that to them?” It was just like all

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Life After Loss: Gina Sevey On Widowhood, Grief Support & Healing After Spousal Loss

Podcast / June 11, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Gina Sevey | Spousal Loss

Losing a spouse can feel like the end of your world, leaving you navigating a landscape of grief and hopelessness. In this heartfelt conversation, guest Gina Sevey draws a poignant parallel between the slow, deliberate process of baking sourdough bread and the journey of widowhood, emphasizing that grief cannot be rushed. Through her personal story of loss and her mission to support others, Gina explores how to manage overwhelming emotions, the necessity of community, and the transformative power of shifting your thought processes. Listeners will gain actionable insight into how to honor their past while finding the strength to embrace a future where joy and grief can coexist, ultimately learning a new way to stand in their own lives. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Life After Loss: Gina Sevey On Widowhood, Grief Support & Healing After Spousal Loss When your spouse died, did you feel like your life was over? Did you feel like you were hopeless? Did you feel like nothing was worth doing anymore? Have you been looking for a way to change that thought process, to be hopeful, to think that there are opportunities for you to have joy? If that is you, this is a conversation you want to be in with Gina. Let’s get into this discussion. Gina, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much. I’m so glad and honored to be here. When I say, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” and you say you’re honored and glad, the backstory or the ticker tape is what we would read, or would it be something else? I’m sad that I have to be here. There we go. I always say to the ladies in my group, “I wish I were teaching you how to make sourdough bread, but this is where we are at.” The Sourdough Metaphor: Processing Grief What are some similar processes to make sourdough bread as it relates to dealing with, managing, and surviving widowhood? Are there similarities? There are. The thing about sourdough bread, rather than making regular bread, is that with sourdough, there’s a long fermentation. You can’t rush it. Grief is the same thing. It’s something you cannot rush. Timing is so important with sourdough bread. You put that starter in with the flour and water, and then you let that levain rise. That’s a seven-hour process. You’ve then got to make the dough, and there’s even a process within making the dough. It’s not mixing it up and then slapping it in some stuff. There’s a process, and it requires time. It is the same thing for widowhood. There’s a process, and it’s your process. Grief is the same. We all lost our husbands. If you’re a widow, you lost your husband. The process can be different depending on how you look at it. Thank you for diving into that impromptu question. I could see some similarities. Would you share your husband’s name with us? Sure. My husband’s name is Lew. When you heard me ask for his name, what image came to mind or memory? His smile, his presence, and his joy for life. If you knew Lew, you knew Lew. He’s bold and fearless. Whenever I hear his name, I think he made an impression on my life and on so many other people’s lives. Do you remember the first time you met Lew? Yes. Do tell. We were both at a community college. He was in the Military. He was going back to school so that he could become an officer in the Military. I met him because I had a boyfriend at the time, and he introduced Lew to me in the common area. He was so funny and so different. He’s seven years older than me. I was like, “He’s a cutie,” but I was dating somebody. He was dating someone, too. That next semester, I had broken up with that guy, and I wound up seeing Lew again. He had gotten out of jump school. He had short hair. I remember putting my hand on his head, and I was like, “You got your hair cut.” He asked me, with my friend, like, “How about if you, your boyfriend, and I see a movie together?” That’s how it started. I used to live in Chicago. We went down to the city, and it was so much fun. Do you remember the movie? First Blood. Appropriate for a Military guy. Were you into the movie or into Lew? Which one was it? Lew. I do remember thinking as I was in the movie, “Why did I say yes to this?” but it was a good movie. Have you seen it since? No. It was not that great. It wasn’t one of those Sunday afternoons repeat movies. Navigating Love, Faith, And Early Marriage You and Lew go out on this date, and where do we go from there? I was telling my daughter that the night that Lew took me home, because he dropped everyone and me off and walked me to my door. He gave me a butterfly kiss. I remember thinking, “He didn’t kiss me on my lips. He kissed me and gave me a little butterfly kiss.” I was like, “He’s different.” We started dating from there. We dated for a couple of years and then got married. Let’s back it up. At what point did we become exclusive? How did this come about? Was it organic? It was organic. He was fun and funny. My parents weren’t super excited about him because he was older. He had been married before.

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Actively Grieving: Choosing Joy After Loss With Kari Driskell

Podcast / April 23, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kari Driskell | Actively Grieving

Actively grieving is often described as a heavy shackle, yet Kari Driskell joins us to share the profound realization that while grief is lifelong, the state of active devastation does not have to be. As a widow who turned her personal loss into a “Heart Work” methodology, Kari discusses the vital distinction between the permanent presence of grief and the choice to move toward a sense of aliveness again. We explore the “messy and ugly” reality of parenting through acute loss, the importance of witnessing a friend’s sadness without trying to “fix” it with a tissue, and how to nurture that tiny flame of hope that says life can be beautiful again. It is a raw, honest look at the “buffalo” mentality—running straight into the storm of healing to find the calm on the other side. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Actively Grieving: Choosing Joy After Loss With Kari Driskell Choosing Joy: The Difference Between Grief And Active Grieving Our conversation with Kari Driskell is going to challenge you. Have you ever wondered, “Could I choose to find joy? Could I choose to no longer be in a depressed state?” This conversation with Kari is going to allow you to think about whether it is a choice. What are the choices you are making daily? Let us get into this conversation now. Kari, I am so grateful for you to be here. Before we get into the whole part of the conversation about how grief has shaped you, tell me about who you are today. I am grounded. I am sure. I am not afraid. I am happy. I am calmer. As people listen to this conversation, what is something important that you want them to take away from this discussion? My biggest message that I can share as a widow who has been through some s***. I can cuss. I probably should not have used that word. This is not TikTok, but be warned that on certain platforms, they do have to bleep it out if that is going to happen. It is up to you. This is your discussion. I am just guiding it. After having gone through some hard times of losing my own husband, I want people to know that there is a difference between grief and actively grieving. You do not have to actively grieve forever. You can choose not to. Actively grieving. What does that mean, the difference between the two, assuming that someone is listening to this conversation, and they are like, “Grief has different words? I’m grieving, what are you saying here?” After my husband, Eric, died, I had some girlfriends come over. Of course, I am at a low point. I am in acute grief. I am actively grieving. I remember people are witnessing me, they are listening to me, and they are validating me. Some of them are dismissive because sadness is hard to be around. One of my very good friends said, “Kari, you are going to grieve Eric forever.” When she said that, I was like, “The hell I will.” I was 38, because my kids were 18 and 11, and because of how I was feeling, I could not do that the rest of my life. That is a hard way to live. I was able to take a three-year sabbatical, and I just became a student of grief. I am a former teacher, and I have a Master’s in Education. I used to teach middle school math. I have always been a helper of people, and everything is figure-outable. I am going to figure this out. I became a student of grief, and I was like, “Listen, grief is something that we deal with our entire lives.” When we are born grieving, leaving the womb, we grieve small things, we grieve big things, we grieve inconveniences. We grieve significant losses.” Actively grieving is like when your grief is so big that it affects your everyday living ability, your sense of aliveness, and your ability to find happiness. You do not have to actively grieve a significant loss forever. You can choose not to. Does grief show up? Do I grieve Eric still, even nine years later? Sure. I am not constantly actively grieving him. Thank you. How does that relate to acute grief? You mentioned that term too. They consider acute grief to be in the first two years after a significant loss. Acute grief is actively grieving. I would say it is like the first year. They say statistically the second year is harder, and that is because the administrative part of death is usually finished, and now the reality of the loss has set in. Your brain is still rewiring all of the things. Acute grief generally lasts for the first two years. Yes, you are probably actively grieving consistently in acute grief. You said you had become a student of grief and everything is figure-outable. Is grief figure-outable? This is your new term. I am going to use it. After grief, we are going to go from the span of my first dog dying to someone close to me, because grief is beyond the death of a loved one. It is expensive. You talked about the different types of things that we grieve. I would dare say also the patterns in which we learn to manage those different griefs come up, and how we show up in life. Is it something that one can figure out? Yes and no. It is something that we learn to live with. It is something

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