Imagine losing a loved one and finding solace in their extraordinary foresight. This episode dives into the poignant journey of our guest, Tripp Tillery, who shares how a TikTok project led him to honor his mother’s legacy. Inspired by his mother Susan’s meticulous The Deadbook, our guest reveals the emotional and logistical challenges she faced as an executor, the importance of keeping the family home, and how Susan’s comprehensive guide provided peace of mind amidst grief. Join us as we explore the heartfelt impact of preparation, legacy, and the often unspoken complexities of loss and love. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide Grab the The Deadbook and use the discount code: TINA15 — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Deadbook: Grief, Legacy, And A Good Plan With Tripp Tillery Tripp, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here and talk to you. We had such a good time with the TikTok live. We did. For those who don’t follow us on TikTok, I have TikTok live conversations every Tuesday at 8:15 PM Eastern time. Tripp and his lovely wife, Jess were kind enough to join me and have a conversation about the subject of our discussion in this episode, which is The Dead Book. I know, the name, but we’re going to get into that. There’s a meaning for all of it because it hits you hard. We couldn’t have some warmup version, but he stayed true to something. We’re going to get into that story. We had a good time. There were a lot of engagement questions. It allowed us to put what you and Jess are doing out there to the world and see it from a different perspective. It was such a nice casual forum in which to discuss it. Thank you for providing that. You’re welcome. Were you on TikTok before or did this project launch you being on TikTok?     My wife Jess was on TikTok before. I was not. The project for me launched my TikTok experience. The Deadbook Tell me about the person you love who launched this project. It wasn’t so much of a launch. My mother was the inspiration for the project The Dead Book. I don’t know how deep you want me to go. As much as you like and what you’re comfortable with. I can go into the entire origin story of The Dead Book and how it came about. My mother and I were super close for our entire life. She was the executor of her mother’s estate. My grandmother passed away back in 2011 and my mother, being the executor of her estate, had to take care of all of the administration aspects once my grandmother passed away. My grandmother lived about six hours away in rural North Carolina. My mother had a very demanding job. Once she got her feet underneath her after my grandmother passed away and started moving into the administrative task of an estate, she pretty quickly realized that she didn’t know where anything was. My grandmother didn’t have a plan. Any documents she had were scattered. She had to go to Social Security administration and things like that. It’s locally in North Carolina, as well as banks and things like that to cobble together and piece together what my grandmother’s affairs even looked like before she could start the process of administering the estate. Was your mom talking to you as she was going through that process? Yes. That must have been annoying. It was annoying for her because she was working 40 or 60-hour weeks easily, but then she would pack a bag on Friday morning, and she’d work all day. She’d hit the road from her office to drive to North Carolina on Friday nights. She’d get what she could be done. She’d shoot back down here to go back to work on Mondays. She was six hours both ways. She’s burning up the road trying to piece this together. It was certainly a frustrating experience for her. She made my grandmother some promises. My grandmother made her some promises about the house stays in the family. My mother’s side of the family, my grandmother and all of my great aunts, and a lot of their kids live on the same street outside of Lumberton, North Carolina, and half her generation. My grandmother’s house was on the same piece of property where my great-grandmother’s house was. It was important that it go to someone that stays in the family. My mother was having to also fulfill those wishes while doing all of the rest of it. It was a very stressful time for her. She was on the road constantly, spending her free weekends trying to hunt down all of these relevant documents to close bank accounts, get with the mortgage company, figure out what that looks like, and identify herself as the executor. In light of all of that, once she was finally able to settle my grandmother’s estate, she got the house sold to a distant cousin. You see those maps of family. It was probably like the fourth cousin twice removed or something. She checked a box. It was a family member. She hustled to do it. Do you remember how long it took your mom to do that? I don’t remember the total amount of time. I do remember feeling like it dragged on and on, making sure the house stayed in the family and finding a family member to purchase the house. That family member’s process of getting all of the mortgage paperwork and everything dragged on and on. Towards the end, the entire experience