Loss Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

Healing Through Grief: How To Survive After Losing Your Husband And Best Friend With Yvette Lloyd

Podcast / September 11, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Yvette Lloyd | Grief Healing

Grief, trauma, and self-worth collide in this raw and empowering conversation on healing through grief. Yvette Lloyd—podcaster, businesswoman, and survivor—opens up about the compounding losses that shaped her, from the death of her husband and mother to the betrayal of friends and the weight of domestic violence. She shares not only what broke her, but how she rebuilt herself with faith, resilience, and a deep commitment to self-love. This is more than a story of loss—it’s a journey of rebirth and reclaiming power in the face of unimaginable pain. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Healing Through Grief: How To Survive After Losing Your Husband And Best Friend With Yvette Lloyd Our guest is Ms. Yvette Lloyd, and you are in for a treat. Yvette is going to give you tips on how to deal with domestic violence, how to deal with it when you are stuck in your grief, and third, and most importantly, how the process of loving yourself is the basis for everything that you do. Let’s get into this conversation now. Yvette, welcome to the Widowhood. How are you? I’m fine, how are you? I’m good. Thank you so much for having me. When you hear, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what comes to mind? Helping someone else. From what perspective? Just sharing my journey, my experience. Sometimes, people could feel alone and you just never know what’s going to come out of your mouth that could actually go to someone’s ears and help them understand their journey a lot better. Life Her Podcast: Yvette’s Journey As A Business Podcaster That is true. Now, you are a podcaster. Tell us a little bit about your podcast and what you do. Life Her Podcast is about business owners sharing their journey. A lot of people see the things we post on social media and just believe everything is just so perfect, yet behind the scenes, we’ve been through a lot. We go through personal things in our lives, and we also go through personal journeys by growing our brand. It is basically a podcast where everybody can become enlightened and educated on different types of businesses and they can learn from it or even utilize the services that the individuals provide that’d be on my podcast show. Where can we find your podcast? What’s the frequency? You could find Life Her Podcast on all major platforms, and you could watch it as a visual on YouTube. This conversation we’re having is outside the scope of your normal conversation on your YouTube channel. Are some of your listeners going to be surprised? Honestly, no, because I’m very transparent on my podcast, so maybe some of my new readers. Some of them may not know, but some of my other ones that has been following me for years, they actually know my journey, but some of them don’t know in that I held back on a lot of things, which I’m willing to share with you. Thank you. How does it feel to be on the other side of the podcast conversation? Honestly, it feels good because I really don’t express myself much and I really don’t get too many people asking me things. Just someone asking me questions and me releasing, it feels good for real. You don’t have to worry about editing, show notes, doing any other stuff. You can talk and say, “That was fine. Tell me when I can see that, because it’s a wrap.” That part of it. When you say you have held back, what are some areas that you’ve held back and not been so candid on your show about? My health. Sometimes, people would be upset when I have to reschedule a podcast show, or some days, I will post and I will go weeks without posting or taking a break, a whole month break. Those experiences are me going through grief or I was going through a lot of health complications, or I was going through a lot of things when it comes to my business, my daycare, mainly. When staff call offs or even staff grieving as well, I have to take a lot of time off to replace them. Different things like that occur a lot in my personal life. I also had to release one of my businesses. It was a business my husband had started and I kept going with his janitorial company and it became a huge burden, so I had to let that go too. That was taking up a lot of my time and just grieving overall because it doesn’t stop. Some days it’s better than others. Silent Battles: Yvette’s Health, PCOS, And Self-Love Journey Thank you. I want to go through those one at a time, if you don’t mind. That’s fine. When you talk about your health, when I hear from me, my health, I was in the Army for 21 years and I have anxiety, I have stress. I wear hearing aids and all of those things. I feel like sometimes, I’m falling apart. Sometimes I’ll feel overwhelmed. It’s like sometimes being outside in different moments can create a lot of different triggers for me, physically. I’m in a conversation, I’m constantly asking, “Can you repeat that?” If I don’t have my hearing aids. I’m like, “I am 59 with hearing aids. How is this a thing?” I can relate to that grief weighs on your body. When you say your health, do you mind diving in a little bit more on the details? Yes. I

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The Complexities Of Grief: Finding Strength After Loss With Amy Shaw

Podcast / May 22, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Amy Shaw | Grief

Grief is a powerful and transformative experience that touches us all in different ways. In this poignant episode, Amy Shaw shares her journey through profound love and the depths of grief following the loss of her husband. Married for nearly 25 years and having built a large family, Amy faced the unimaginable when her husband received a devastating diagnosis. This conversation explores the many facets of grief, from the initial shock and pain to the ongoing process of healing and finding strength. Amy’s story offers insights into navigating grief, honoring loved ones, and discovering resilience in the face of loss. It’s a testament to the enduring power of love and the human spirit’s capacity to find meaning even amidst profound grief. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Complexities Of Grief: Finding Strength After Loss With Amy Shaw Our conversation with Ms. Amy Shaw is going to be so insightful. We’re going to talk about how to navigate your personal grief along with ten children, leaving a legacy for your husband and the impact that your grief journey can make in the world. Let’s get into this conversation now. Amy, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You are welcome. When you hear, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what comes to mind to you? Belonging to a club that no one ever chooses to come into, but life circumstances bring you there and here we are. Entering Widowhood: Amy’s Story & Early Grief I would agree. If you would, in saying that, would you give us a little bit about how you became a part of the widowhood? Yeah. My husband and I were married for 24 and a half years. Our plan was to make it to 50 and that was not the plan that the Lord had, but we lived a wonderful life. He was the love of my life. I was the love of his. We ministered together overseas and we built a large family together of ten children. We were very surprised that he, at age 43, was diagnosed with the most aggressive possible brain cancer, glioblastoma. He was given 6 to 12 months to live. It was a real shock for us. We actively celebrated his life and he was given a wonderful 37 months after that diagnosis. We celebrated, we lived well, we made memories. He left an amazing legacy and he is now with the Lord. That is a lot that you said in a very short period of time and thank you for being willing to share that. How long did it take you to be able to share that in that manner? I think we were very open with our friends and our supporters because we had been missionaries. We’d been seen by people. The whole time that we were going through cancer, we had people involved. I think being able to see it in a nice little package like that certainly has come later. Yeah, we involved people all the way through. Involving people in being able to say that, there are people reading this conversation whose spouse literally may have died this month. The idea of mentioning their death elicits so many different emotions and they’re wanting to know how were you able to have these conversations and not act in that way? I think we had this perspective that death was a doorway between this earthly life and our eternal life. We spent a lot of time talking with our children, talking together as a couple that as much as we hated the fact that he was being taken out early, he died at age 47, we knew that if this was the plan of God, that we couldn’t really fight against it. We prayed and we had people all around the world praying for total healing. I really believe that he did get that for about sixteen months where he had no treatment. I think our whole perspective on death was this is going to be a temporary separation, that I will eventually join him in eternity and that the Lord’s plan is for him to go off early and that he has more work for me to do. I think having that perspective all the way through, I’m not saying that it made the pain any less, but I think even when we had the burial service, I remember it was raining and there were people standing there and at the end of it all, people were crying. I was like, “Guys, this isn’t the end of the story. He’s not staying in the grave. He is getting up out of this grave. This isn’t the end.” I think having this way backed up per perspective on it helps me not lose hope and helps me remember that like where I am on the big timeline and I have this little window of time that I don’t know when my time is, but I have this little window of time that I can make impacts and influence the world. I don’t know. I see it in a different way, maybe. Faith, Grief, And Finding Strength In Loss I love that for you and I want to spend a little bit of time here, if we may. There are oftentimes I speak with people and the passing of their loved one actually pulls them away from God. They are mad, they are discouraged and they feel like their relationship with God failed them because this happened to them. What about your relationship with God did

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All Grief Is The Same And All Grief Is Different: A Double Widow’s Story With Andrea Lott Haney

Podcast / March 6, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Andrea Lott Haney | Double Widow

Grief is a universal experience, yet every journey through loss is unique. In this episode, Andrea Lott Haney shares her extraordinary story of navigating the complexities of double widowhood. Andrea opens up about the profound grief and emotional challenges of losing two spouses, offering a unique perspective on the similarities and differences in grieving multiple losses. She discusses the importance of self-care, community support, and faith in her healing journey, and provides inspiration for others facing adversity. Tune in to hear Andrea’s courageous story and discover how to find hope and meaning in the face of life’s greatest challenges. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here All Grief Is The Same And All Grief Is Different: A Double Widow’s Story With Andrea Lott Haney Finding Community & Support After Loss: The Widowhood Club Andrea, welcome to the Widowhood. Thanks for having me, Tina. I’m very honored to be here. What do you think when you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood?” What was the first thing that came to your mind if the ticker tape would have just printed on your forehead? I say a lot whenever I meet somebody newly widowed that it is the worst club to belong to and we have the best members. We support each other like no other club, the Widowhood Club, in both the specific sense of your group and then also the general sense of just being widows and how, once you’ve been through it, you know things that the general public does not know and you have been places the general public has not been. There’s a solidarity there. You nailed that. For people who are reading and just to make them jealous, when you say my group, what does that look like to you? What did that look like to you before you became part of that group? TikTok: A Digital Oasis For Young Widows I met you on TikTok, but I was not on TikTok prior to Brian’s passing. I specifically got on TikTok because other social media platforms were too emotionally loaded for me. Being widowed twice, my first husband, Gary, who passed in 2010, his passing predated my first iPhone. I did not have a huge social media presence in those days. I was on MySpace and I had just gotten on to Facebook for work, but I didn’t have a ton of digital memories and so forth of him. When I got together with Brian, I really wanted to change that. I made it a point to document digitally and on social media all these seemingly unimportant moments of our lives because they were important to me. After he passed, I’m so glad that I did that because I know that those memories are so precious, but in the immediate aftermath, I did not want to see them. It was more than just turning off the memory feature on the platform. It would be like my friend would change her profile picture and it would say, “Brian Haney liked this photo or something.” It would come up non-consensually. These other social media platforms were just so emotionally loaded for me. I went to TikTok because it was a fresh slate for me. That’s where I met you and where I met a lot of the other ladies and men who are part of supporting each other through your organization, Widowhood Real Talk with Tina, and how you use your platform to not only engage with us and to help us when we express our feelings, but also you go live, you include us in your videos. We’ve created this network in the way of a lot of us know each other now. Some of us have even met outside of social media or exchanged phone numbers and talked offline, and we’ve become our own little support group in a way. That is so huge. Thank you for explaining that. I must admit, before I got on TikTok, I thought everybody was gyrating or somebody was dancing, and that’s all I was going to see. There are subcultures for any topic that you’re interested in. If you’re an author, there’s author TikTok. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, there’s stay-at-home TikTok. There’s actress TikTok. The ability to create a network. The thing you mentioned about going live, that ability, if you’re not ready to talk to people and sit on the outside, watch these conversations, and then decide, “I’m going to say something or I’m going to get engaged,” they did this right. I’m not a tech person by any means, but I’ve heard it explained that it’s an interest-based algorithm as opposed to a follower-based algorithm. They’re better at knowing what you want to see. If I’m on grief tok or if I’m on widow tok, it connects me to other people like that. The very first video that I made on TikTok was basically introducing myself as somebody who had been widowed twice at a young age and saying, “I knew nobody in my real life.” Over the years of being widowed, I had met hundreds of young widows at that point and I knew nobody who was double a widow. Now I know people who are my age and double widowed. What does that mean for you in your grief journey to know that and to know them? The Power Of Community In Grief In my grief journey the second time, I have done a lot of throwing my fists in the air and saying, “This is so unfair. How could this possibly be happening to me

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When Hope Feels Lost: The Power To Transform After Widowhood With Debbie Weiss

Podcast / February 6, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Debbie Weiss | Widowhood

After the unexpected loss of her husband, widowhood became a turning point that sparked a new chapter in Debbie Weiss‘ life. Debbie joins us to share how widowhood unexpectedly launched her on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Debbie opens up about navigating grief, redefining her identity, and finding the strength to embrace new possibilities after loss. From redecorating her bedroom to writing the books On Second Thought… Maybe I Can and The Sprinkle Effect: A Guide to Creating a More Colorful and Fulfilling Life, Debbie’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of saying ‘yes’ to life, even when it takes you in unexpected directions. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here When Hope Feels Lost: The Power To Transform After Widowhood With Debbie Weiss Debbie, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Tina. I’m so happy to be here. I’m glad to have you here and I cannot not say something about these glasses that you have on. They’re just so jazzy. Tell us about those. Thank you. They are my favorite thing. I discovered them a few years ago. They’re called Pair Eyewear and you buy the frames from them online. I have progressives, so it’s not like you can’t have a prescription. I have a prescription and then they sell you all different toppers or different designs that just snap onto the glasses. It’s like an accessory. A different accessory that I get to pick out every day just like when you pick out your jewelry or whatever else. I’m like, “What glasses am I going to wear?” How many toppers do you have? Maybe 50. It’s just like nail polish and everything else we change. You get to have something that goes with your outfit. I like that. Thank you. As a matter of fact, I was thinking, “I haven’t bought myself anything new in a while. I must be due.” Time for some toppers. That’s it. Finding Your Restorative Place For Peace And Rejuvenation There are different shades of purple, the designs and everything else. It sounds like it’s quite an array. Thank you for sharing that with us. That is your favorite thing. Where’s your favorite place to go in the world or if you had a favorite vacation you’d like the take. Where would it be? To any beach. I grew up near the beach. Not right on the beach but probably about 10 to 15-minute drive with no traffic from the beach. It’s just my happy place. That smell, looking at the water and the sand. It does it for me. It’s hard to be unhappy at a beach for me . Thank you. It’s important for everybody to find what their places because there’s something about when you’re at that place that you get refilled. You have a sense of peace there and it can be maybe your sunroom in your house. It can maybe be a walk with a pet but knowing what it is that fulfills you and revitalize you because one thing we’ll know about being in the widowhood, it can get draining. You need to find that place that you can restore yourself. Let me share something. As you say that, it reminded me of something and we’ll get into it. My husband was sick for a long time and I was a caregiver for a very long time. Money was an issue. Our house was brand new when we moved into it. It’s now 25 years old and nothing has been updated, time and life and all of that. In my bedroom, my husband had fallen and pretty much broken his nose. There was blood all over the carpet that wasn’t cleaned. Let’s just say that I would go into my bedroom and I hated it there. My cousin one day said to me, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Some way or another, we have to make this a safe place. We have to make this your haven. Somewhere that you can walk into to escape everything that’s going on outside of these walls and just feel at peace and happy in that space.” I had never given consideration to and it doesn’t have to be. In my case, I did wind up redoing my whole bedroom and it’s amazing now, but it doesn’t even have to be like that. I just noticed if you move your furniture around or clean up a corner that you never had. I never had paid attention to how much our physical space affects our mental outlook. Thank you for sharing that. Since you’ve mentioned your husband, what is his name? If you would, please. His name was Gary. Thank you for mentioning that. I’m going to flow with the conversation, versus the way I was going to approach it. In you mentioning about how you change your bedroom, my son, who went into the military in October. In November, my husband relocated to Virginia because he was trying to find a job there. That was in 2016 and in March 2017, Mark passed. May of 2017, my daughter left to go into the military. A 2,600 square foot house and 1.75 acres, the children grew up there. It was the bustling hustling situation. We were looking forward to them getting out of the house and being empty nesters and life took a dramatic turn for me. I was left in the house with everything just the way it was. I would come home from work and sit in the

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Understanding The Realities Of Widowhood

Podcast / October 31, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Widowhood

The journey of widowhood can be a lonely road, but remember, you’re not alone. In this episode, you’ll find a raw and honest look into the complexities of widowhood. It breaks down the enduring nature of grief, debunking the myth that it magically fades after a year. This episode reflects on how losing a spouse transforms identity and emphasizes the importance of community support during this difficult time. Be encouraged to embrace new identities and to find joy in life again, while also fostering understanding and empathy among those supporting the bereaved. Tune in for an enlightening conversation about navigating life after loss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Understanding The Realities Of Widowhood The Grief Journey To keep myself straight, I don’t have anybody asking me questions. I have a list right here. We are going to go down the list and I’m going to share some things with you from my perspective. I understand that everyone may see this from a different vantage point. I’m sharing with you my lived experience and conversations that I have had with hundreds of widows over the last few years. First of all, what I want people to know about widowhood is that grief is a journey. After one year, grief continues. There is not something magical that happens after one year that you should think that your friend or your family member who is grieving their spouse that this grief has completed itself. What may happen within that first year is they may no longer be dealing with a grief fog or a grief brain. You may say, “What is that?” When a person experiences a great loss, they can often have trauma in their brain. That will show up that the prefrontal cortex in the back of the head in the amygdala is operating differently. I know for myself that for the first 6 to 9 months, my brain was protecting me from the reality of the full trauma that Mark had left this world. What that did for me. I was operating in a fog. I was not my normal self. I feel like I was floating through and watching my life go as I was also a part of it. When I look back at that first year and I ask different friends and family members what they remember, my vision is cloudy. I know that is part of the mechanism of this body to be able to help protect me from that trauma. In that first year, they may have moved past that grief trauma, that grief brain, and that grief fog, but rest assured that there is more grief ahead of though. I say that to validate my widows and widowers and people who are grieving, and also for people who tune in to this episode who are supporting others who are grieving, and they want to know what is behind that veil that they may not be given privy to know and to understand. Please know that this is a life journey, and they need you. They need you as long as you know that person is no longer in this world. It does not stop after one year. The complexity of it changes. Recently, I received some documentation that required me to have to provide my late husband’s death certificate, birth certificate, marriage license, and DD-214. Seeing all of those in one sentence is more than a notion. Having to open up my safe, find these documents, and think about Mark’s life and death have catapulted me back into thinking of things that I have not thought of in a long time. It has made that grief return in a heavier and different way. I’m still able to function, but I know if this would have happened in that first year, I would not. It would be different, but I do know that there are still things happening in my life that allow my grief to resurface. I want you to know that in one year, it’s not over. A Spouse’s Identity The second part that I want you to know is a part of a spouse’s confidence, assurance, and identity has been wrapped up and connected in their marriage to their spouse. When my husband passed, I had to practice saying my name alone. I had said Tina and Mark for so long. I had to practice saying Tina without something accurate. It was hard to think about who I was if I was not Mark’s spouse. It was hard for me to think about who I was as an individual, what my goals were, and what were my life aspirations if they were not tethered to Mark’s existence. I did a lot of work. I did a lot of journaling. I did a lot of introspective looking at Tina and seeing, “Who am I? What is it that I enjoy doing? What gives me pleasure? What do I not like to do?” My identity was sometimes understanding that I don’t like green jelly. I had it in the house because Mark and the kids like grape jelly. I found out I like orange marmalade and that’s okay for me, but it took me to the grocery store, consciously choosing not to purchase things that I purchased on rote, and to look for things that were different. Do I like going to bed earlier? Do I have to have meat with every meal? Do I prefer going for a walk versus when I can drive? What do I want to do with my life and my career? All of those parts of my identity were something

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Here With You: Navigating Grief As A Family With Kellie Kaminskas

Podcast / October 24, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kellie Kaminskas | Here With You

Journey through love, loss, and healing with the heartwarming children’s book Here With You. Join Kellie Kaminskas, the author, as she shares her journey as a widow and how she found solace in writing a book to help children understand grief. Her son, who lost his father at a tender age, played a crucial role in the creation of this book. Together, they’ve found healing through the process, and their journey is sure to resonate with you. Kellie talks about self-publishing challenges, the need for support, and the positive response from readers who relate to her work. Let Kellie’s words inspire you as she shares her moving story of love, loss, and the power of storytelling. Kellie’s book: Title: Here With You Publish Date: July 15 2024 Trade Paperback ISBN: 979-8-218-38222-3 Ebook ASIN: B0CW1JBSC2 Format: Trade Paperback and Digital Available for purchase: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Powell’s, Apple Books, etc. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Here With You: Navigating Grief As A Family With Kellie Kaminskas Welcome To The Widowhood Our guest, Kellie, has written a book titled Here With You. It is about the journey of healing through grief. It helps children understand that although their loved one may be gone, they are still here with you. Kellie is a passionate storyteller hailing from the beautiful state of Connecticut. She has honed her skills in crafting captivating tales that transport readers to new and familiar worlds. As a loving mother to a wonderful son and their furry companions, she draws inspiration from the joys and challenges of parenthood. Her relatable story and heartfelt narrative resonate with readers of all ages. Kellie is an emerging author and speaker, available for virtual or in-person visits to schools, libraries, and events. Let’s get into this conversation. Kellie, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you to the Widowhood. What comes to your mind when you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood?” What was your first thought? It’s been a journey. I’m about almost eight years into being a widow. Sometimes, the word feels like a four-letter one, depending on the mood. I have heard this and I will repeat this. The club sucks, but the members are amazing. That concept of eight years, what does that look like eight years later for you? I want to preface it with the idea people go, “It’s been eight years. Haven’t you just?” Yeah. I think I’ve really turned a corner, honestly, emotionally, for myself. I think I was angry for a very long time based on how he had passed away. I’ve been in the mode of self-care and a lot of forgiveness in the last year. That says a lot. Thank you for sharing that. I don’t want to get into the details, but for someone who is just going to read this and they have just lost their husband this year, can you remember what that looked like for you? Yeah. It was probably the worst time of my life. Honestly, at the same time, such a blur that you don’t really remember the first year. You’re surviving at that point. That’s important to know because I am going into my eighth year, and people often see where I’m now mentally. I try my best to say, “This is not what ground zero looks like.” Please do not think that this is what I looked like when he left this world. If you were to talk to younger Kellie, what would you tell her based on what you’ve learned over these years? To give myself so much more grace than I actually did. I think I just hit the ground running, and I was really hard on myself for a long time. Those are some of the misinformation, about staying busy, being strong for other people, “This’ll be okay,” “Just let time pass.” I want to say that I found none of those were adequate or accurate at all. Grief had a little suitcase and she was like, “You got to stay busy? Let me get on. Let me come with you. When you’re tired and exhausted, I will open up the picnic basket, and we can get together.” Let me put on a song for you that you don’t want to hear while you’re driving to go start your day. Being a widow, and you have children too? I do. I have a son. How old was your son when his father left this world? He had just turned one. That puts a different dynamic to this than most people imagine. When they think of a widow, one, they’re thinking of someone older, and then the idea of someone younger with children. Have you found a community of other people who have younger children? In the sense of raising him by myself? No. Just a community with other women who are widowed with young children? I don’t know anyone. I have several people I can connect you with if you are interested. This journey has connected me. I know a widow who was actually pregnant when her husband passed. I have another widow who has seven children. She and her husband had a ministry, serving seven, and unfortunately, she’s one of several others. What area are you located in? I’m in Connecticut. Here With You These people are virtual. I will reach out to them and connect you with them because I think community is very helpful. Your son was one. The basis of our conversation is really regarding this book. I knew talking about this book without talking about your journey wouldn’t serve anyone

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A Grieving Daughter’s Journey From Pain To Purpose With Paula Foster

Podcast / September 5, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Paula Foster | Pain Purpose

Many cliches have become cliches because they’re uncannily true, and one of those cliches is, “There is purpose in your pain.” It’s not some empty, abstract statement designed to console someone who’s grieving. When we truly understand what this means, that purpose shows up in concrete ways, often changing the lives of other people in the process. This is what Paula Foster’s journey has been. She lost her father at a young age, and that pivotal moment shaped the woman she would become in her adult years. Paula holds a lot of titles, but all those simply point to the fact that everywhere she goes, she touches lives in a transformative way. Join this episode as she shares her story and all the wonderful lessons that come with it. — Watch the episode here Listen to podcast here A Grieving Daughter’s Journey From Pain To Purpose With Paula Foster Paula, welcome to the widowhood. How are you doing? I am doing well. When you heard widowhood and welcome, what came to your mind when you were hearing those words? Typically, when you hear widowhood, you think about people who have lost a spouse. It was initially that’s the platform for those who have lost spouses, but it’s not always. It is not. Thank you. I want to explain the name of it, and I’ve thought about whether I should change it or not, but the legal aspect of where I’m at. I am from Chicago. Hood is community. Hood is family. Hood is my network. I am the widow who lost her husband. Part of that hood is my children who lost a dad. That hood is my siblings who knew my husband for their entire life. They lost what was like an uncle or brother. My friends who we had been couple friends with for years lost their friend as I lost my husband. No one ever tried to make their grief of Mark bigger than me losing my husband, but it was a loss across our community. That conversation is held from different angles, whether it’s a conversation I’m having with someone who has lost a parent, someone who has lost a sibling, or someone who has lost a child. It’s not just the spouse. Everyone that was connected to that person that is no longer here is part of that hood. I happen to have the pleasure to be in from the widow’s perspective, but the voice from every angle is necessary. Maybe sometimes people were not married or they didn’t have a significant other. If every angle of that person is not viewed, we never see the totality of them. I had a recording where my son spoke about his dad. It was a different version from me. In November 2024, I hope to have a conversation with my daughter talking about the loss of her dad from a different angle. It is the widow and the hood coming together. It’s that community. I like that. I’m going to read your bio before we get into this conversation. Paula Foster is a native of Atlanta, Georgia. As rare as it is to find a Georgia peach, she is also a rare jewel. It’s because of the struggle she faced growing up that she truly feels it has pushed her into the person she is now. Who is that person, you ask? Paula is a mother of three children, a licensed pastor, a domestic violence survivor and advocate, a realtor, an author, a publisher, a life coach who has a Life Coach Certification Academy, a mentor, a speaker, and an event host. She is the Founder of Fostering Destiny Enterprises, which encompasses the many businesses and organizations Paula manages. Paula has spoken and/or hosted many events and has received testimonies of how she helped change the lives of others. She speaks on her past while encouraging others to not allow their past to determine their present future. Paul is the author of the I AM: 30 Affirmations to Reaffirm Your TRUE SELF!, Finish Strong: 7 Keys to Fulfilling Your Purpose, Becoming the Author Within, and co-author of I AM: Mother’s Edition. She is scheduled to release more in the coming months. Paula enjoys reading, bowling, skating, relaxing, volunteering, and going to concerts. She also enjoys listening to music and spending much-needed time with her family. Life may have dealt her some unfortunate cards but she has learned to play with what she has been dealt. She is a virtuous woman. I don’t have time to rest. I make time. I’m glad to hear that. Rarely, but I do. When you hear someone reading that, how does that feel? I feel like I am that person, a well-accomplished individual. A lot of times, you don’t realize all the different hats that you wear. While you may not wear them at the same time, you’re still doing all of those things. It also makes me remember things that I need to probably kick back into gear because some things did fall by the wayside because of different occurrences in life. It serves two purposes. It helps me to see that I’m not as far away from what I thought I was far away from. At the same time, it helps me see the gaps that need to be filled. Thank you. When you heard me explain widowhood, that gave you a different perspective about the person we’re going to speak about, which is your dad. It is unfortunately aligned with the same things with my children. They speak about their dad and that loss. What is your memory of your dad? I have to be honest and say the most memorable thing about my dad was that my dad made me feel like a princess even in the short time that I had him. With him, I could do anything and there was nothing that you could tell anybody any differently. Even though I lost him at an

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A Father’s Journey Of Love And Purpose After A Traumatic Loss With David Roberts

Podcast / July 11, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | David Roberts | Father’s Love

Discover the profound journey of Dave Roberts, MSW, LMSW, in this heart-wrenching episode as he tells the devastating loss of his daughter, Janine, to cancer at just 18. With a career dedicated to helping others through addiction and grief, Dave shares his deeply personal story, reflecting on Janine’s brief but impactful life and the lessons her struggle taught him. From his professional roles as an adjunct professor and podcast host to his poignant insights into the mosaic of emotions that define the human experience, Dave’s narrative offers a blend of raw emotion and spiritual enlightenment. Join us for an inspiring conversation about finding peace amid unimaginable loss, understanding grief’s diverse expressions, and the enduring bond that transcends life and death. This episode is a tribute to resilience, empathy, and the power of a father’s love in the face of profound sorrow. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here A Father’s Journey Of Love And Purpose After A Traumatic Loss With David Roberts Our guest is Mr. David Roberts, but he goes by Dave. He is an MSW, LMSW. He became a parent who experienced the death of his child when his daughter Jeannine died of cancer on March 1st, 2003, at the age of eighteen. He is a retired addiction professional and adjunct professor in the Psychology, Child and Life Department of Utica University in Utica, New York. Dave also teaches Psychology classes at Pratt Munson School of Arts of Design. He hosts the Teaching Journey podcast, which can be found on most podcast platforms. Dave has presented workshops, national conferences, Compassionate Friends, and for bereaved parents in the USA. He was also a keynote speaker at the 2011 and 2015 National Gatherings of Bereaved Parents of the USA. Dave also co-presented a workshop titled Helping Faculty After Traumatic Loss for the Parkland, Florida community in 2018 in the aftermath of the mass shooting for the Stoneman Douglas High School. Dave has contributed articles to Medium, Open to Hope Foundation, Mindfulness and Grief, Thrive Global, and Recovering the Self Journal. He has also appeared on numerous podcasts as well as Open to Hope Television. He co-authored a book with Reverend Patty Farrell titled When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister, which was published on March 1st, 2021. Your ability and the links to contact Dave are going to be in the show notes and the comments on the YouTube channel. Welcome, Dave, to The Widowhood. Tina, thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here. I’ve been looking forward to our conversation for some time now. Thank you so much. I’m sorry for the death of your daughter, Jeannine. I know it becomes something you learn to carry, but it’s still something that you are carrying that has shifted the part of your life. Janine’s Battle Yes, it has, Tina. Certainly, one of the things that I never envisioned having to do as a parent was bury my child. It was unfathomable to me. It was something I didn’t even consider. It was so far removed from my consciousness that I never considered it. When she got sick and then she got progressively more ill and she began to deteriorate progressively from her cancer. I was going to be walking a path that I never thought I’d ever be walking. The thing with her cancer is that it was a rare form of cancer called Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma and she was diagnosed approximately three weeks after giving birth to her only child and my first grandchild, Brianna. Brianna was born on May 2, 2002. I had gotten my Master’s in Social Work degree. I had that degree conferred upon me on May 19, 2002. On May 26, 2002, she was officially diagnosed with Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. The diagnosis was confirmed approximately a week later. I think it was June 3, 2002, at the Dana-Farber Research Institute in Boston, which is one of the premier, if not the premier, hospitals and research centers for pediatric sarcomas. In a five-minute consult, they said that she had stage four cancer with bone marrow and lymph node involvement. There was absolutely no cure for her cancer. The only hope that they had was to put her cancer in permanent remission until they could find a cure. At that moment, Tina, what I heard, and I know my daughter heard, was that in all likelihood, unless there’s a miracle, she’s going to die. In ten months from diagnosis to death, I call her death now a transition from the physical body to the spiritual world. She transitioned ten months after being diagnosed. It was a relatively quick progression. Sarcomas have to be diagnosed early. What had happened is she had injured her right foot in a freak accident during pregnancy. Her foot got progressively more swollen, did not respond to traditional treatments for a swollen foot, and an MRI revealed an undefined eight-centimeter mass in the bottom of her foot. It was biopsied and it was found to be a malignant tumor. The rest has set me on a path that’s been a mosaic of a lot of different emotions but ultimately ended up with transformation. Learning how to transcend grief, find peace with what had happened, and be grateful for what I have in my life. It’s been a long journey to get there. Mosaic Of Emotions You said a lot there. There is so much to go back to unpack. Is the concept of mosaic a term you use often? What does that symbolize for you in this process? I look at mosaic as a combination of a lot of different emotions, a lot of different

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A Mother’s Love: Navigating Grief After Losing An Angel With Jessica Garland

Podcast / May 23, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Jessica Garland | Mother’s Love

Join us for a deeply moving episode as we explore the profound journey of Jessica Garland, whose life was forever changed by unimaginable tragedy. From the joys of motherhood to the depths of grief, Jessica bravely shares her story of love, loss, and resilience in the face of adversity. Jessica opens up about the loss of her daughter, Kendra. From the surprising discovery of Kendra’s pregnancy to her vibrant interests in basketball, dancing, and singing, Jessica paints a vivid picture of her beloved daughter’s life. However, tragedy strikes when Kendra is senselessly murdered at the age of 17 while working at the airport VIP lounge. Jessica courageously shares the harrowing details of the event and the profound impact it had on her and her family. Through her raw and heartfelt storytelling, Jessica navigates the complexities of grief, finding solace in unexpected sources of support while emphasizing the importance of self-care and cherishing every moment with loved ones. Despite her profound loss, Jessica finds comfort in her daughters’ achievements and offers invaluable advice on parenting, relationships, and finding gratitude amidst unimaginable pain. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here A Mother’s Love: Navigating Grief After Losing An Angel With Jessica Garland Our guest is Miss Jessica Garland, and she is going to share with us her journey and the loss of her daughter. There is a lot of conversation. There’s a lot of information to cover. Be prepared. Take notes. You will find yourself in this conversation, and you will be able to relate. Let’s get into the conversation now. Our guest is Miss Jessica Garland. She is going to take us on a journey of her experience of grief. She is sharing the death of her daughter with us. I know from the conversations I’ve had with so many people that you also struggle with this type of grief. You are not alone. We are on this journey with you. If you are interested in sharing your journey, please email me at WidowhoodRealTalk@Gmail.com. If you have a particular topic you would like me to cover, please use that same email address. Let’s get into this conversation now. — Jessica, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. Where are you currently in the world? I’m in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Are you from there originally? No, ma’am. I was raised in Connecticut. From Connecticut To Georgia That’s a bit of a way. How do we get from Connecticut to Georgia? This is a story. I had my daughter on April 12, 1990, and shortly after having her, I started getting these headaches that would not go away, that get worse and worse to the point that I wasn’t even able to lift my head off the pillow. That’s how bad the headaches were. I got rushed to the hospital because it had gotten so bad that my eyes had rolled back in my head. I was jaundiced from head to toe. They rushed me to the hospital. My father, who lived in Hartford, Connecticut, at the time, met me at the hospital to be able to help with the baby because she was a baby at the time. They told me that I had meningitis in my brain. They basically said to my father and to my mother, who came to the hospital, that if I lived, I would probably be a vegetable. Your daughter was born in April. When did this transpire, you said again? June of 1990. It was because I was in labor with her for 16 to 17 hours. They were thinking that we’re going to give you an epidural for the pain. I didn’t have any pain. “This is why we want you to get some rest so that when it comes time to push, you’ll have the energy to push.” I was like, “I’m young. I’m only twenty years old. I’m by myself.” Basically, the nurses, techs and staff were my birthing support team because I was by myself. I was technically coming out of being homeless, a week and a half shy of coming out of being homeless. I was in a shelter pregnant with her. The story is so complex. It’s weird. I didn’t find out. I found out that I was pregnant with her actually by accident. I was working at a company called Record World. I got offered a job in their advertising department in upstate New York, which was $100,000 a year. I was like, “I’m about to be making some money at a young age.” I’m a manager and district manager, so I was quickly moving up the chain. These are braids, but my hair was a little bit longer than what these braids are at the time. I washed my hair and conditioned it, and I’m getting ready for this interview. I put the curling iron in my hair, and it slid so fast out, and it popped back in my eye. What Black woman has not had an electrical burn in her eye? I’m telling you, I have. I can tell you when you said that, I remembered. It was right here, across my eye, across my eyebrow. I’m like, “There’s no amount of makeup that’s going to hide that because that burn is there.” You see a sister and go like, “I know how that happened.” We digress, but I couldn’t help the electrical burn. It happened so fast. Do you know how something jars you? My eye was so open. It burnt my eyelids. I was rushed to the hospital, and I was bodybuilding thing and working out very heavily.

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A New Life After Widowhood: Words Of Wisdom From A 21 Year Widow With Alma Davis

Podcast / May 4, 2023

When my late husband passed, I met Alma Davis in CA to attend a widow conference, which was extremely helpful for me in learning to be a widow. In this episode, Alma shares her journey of being a widow for 21 years. Alma shares about her life, how she met her husband, Tony, his death, and the life she developed after widowhood. You are going to enjoy her transparency, her ability to convey the importance of her faith as it relates to dealing with the death of her husband, her professional background, and how it impacted her life. Tune in for more! Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here A New Life After Widowhood: Words Of Wisdom From A 21 Year Widow With Alma Davis Our conversation for this episode is with Ms. Alma Davis. You are going to enjoy her transparency, her ability to convey the importance of her faith as it relates to dealing with the death of her husband, Tony, her professional background, and how it impacted her life. Let’s get into the conversation now. Welcome to the show, Alma. Thank you. Thank you for being here. We know it is a Saturday morning and Alma is on the West Coast. She has gotten up bright and early to be here to join the show. Yes, I have, bright and early. Alma, what gives you hope right now? I’m looking forward to the future. It’s bright and sunshiny as it always is in San Diego for the most part. I’m about to finish my seminary journey, which has been a journey, especially with grief and health conditions which are not unusual as it relates to our grief. I’m about to complete May 27th, 2023, which is my daughter’s 36th birthday. I’m really excited about that because I’m in the process of implementing a mental health group program that was created by Joe Padilla. It’s called Living Grace. Anyone who’s dealt with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health issues can go online with me and join this group. I’m currently in the process of creating some peer support. It gives me great hope because I’m booming with excitement and opportunities that will come my way. You have written a book if I recall in this journey. I did. It was called A Widow’s Virtue. It was about my process through grief. It begins prior to the moment that Tony passed away. It goes through my journey. It was incredible writing it because I felt like Groundhog Day. I was constantly in it. I tried to write it in such a way that it shared the experience, but at the same time demonstrated the hope that was there. Looking back on it retrospectively, I’m not certain that it showed enough hope because I did have some comments from other widows and they said it was too raw, but it’s out there. I want the raw because that’s what the real talk is about. If we don’t have the rawness and the realness, how do we know what to prepare for? That’s true. I’m not always sure that I talked about the preparation as I did about what God was doing and showing me. Of course, the rawness of my desires for that future. I had future expectations about how my husband and I would live, especially after the children were out of the house. I wasn’t too graphic about those things, but certainly, when you have an empty nest, there’s some excitement that you had to put on reserve. The show is for ages eighteen and older. This is not for children. I talked about some fun times that we could have during that emptiness season that we didn’t have a full opportunity to experience prior to my getting pregnant. I got married at a really young age. Tell us about who Tony is and how you guys met on your journey. Tony was the love of my life. I was in the Air Force Reserve and I had prayed, “Lord, I want to go to England where our six-week tour was going to be.” He made that happen for me. I met the love of my life while I was there. We worked in the same building. I remember I had on my fatigues and I was walking up to the building. There was this guy at the door. I had my hands in my pocket. In the military, you’re not supposed to have your hands in your pocket, but I’m a reservist and I’m spending too much time in the real world. There’s this beautiful guy at the door with a grand piano smile, and he was like, “Why you are playing pocket pool?” I was like, “Excuse me. Who are you to be telling me what to do?” I went on into the building and he disappeared. He knew my boss from previous reserve trips to England. He arranged for me to come to his office because one of my girlfriends was working in the office with him. My boss was like, “You need to go see Cassandra.” I was like, “I’m busy. I don’t need to go see Cassandra.” Eventually, I gave in because he was nagging me. Mr. Davis is in that office with Cassandra. It was a setup, but it was a good setup. For the time that I was there, the whole story unfolded. I remember one occasion right now. I wish I could have sent you this picture, but everything is packed away in

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