Embracing New Beginnings After Loss: On Dating And Marrying A Widow With Fred Jackson And Lionel Grimes

WRT 30 | Dating A Widow

  Dating can be a beautiful beginning from a past relationship. But how do you move forward when you are dating a widow? How do you navigate through their past and help them start anew? In this episode, we dive into the poignant world of dating widows with two guests, Fred Jackson and Lionel Grimes. They open up about their journeys of love and companionship with widows, navigating through its joys and complexities. Fred and Lionel share the beautiful stories of how they met their future wives, the deep connection that blossomed, and the unique challenges of dating individuals who have lost their spouses. They talk about emotional triggers and memories tied to the past and how they approached these moments with unwavering support and empathy. With candid advice for potential partners, Fred and Lionel dive into fostering understanding, patience, and authenticity in relationships. As the conversation draws to a close, Lionel and Fred reflect on their experiences, offering inspiration to those embarking on a similar path and underscoring the remarkable potential for love and meaningful connection when dating widows. We have all loved and lost, and we can also be that new love that can spring in the face of someone’s darkness. Tune in to discover the power of acceptance, communication, and support in the realm of dating after loss.   Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Embracing New Beginnings After Loss: On Dating And Marrying A Widow With Fred Jackson And Lionel Grimes It has been some time since we’ve had an onsite conversation. We are having our episode with Lionel Grimes who is the godfather of my children and my husband, Fred Jackson. I have gotten remarried and I wanted to bring Fred into this conversation. We’re going to have a discussion about dating a widow. Both of these gentlemen are lowkey. That’s why I wanted to interview them together. They’re some smooth fellows. You’ll hear some things that are encouraging to you if you are a widow thinking about dating, you are a gentleman thinking about dating a widow, or maybe a wife thinking about dating a widow. It is possible to love again. It is possible for someone to accept you right where you’re at in this journey of life. Let’s get into this conversation.     Lionel Grimes and Fred Jackson, welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Lionel Grimes and Fred Jackson are important to me because Lionel is my children’s godparents and Fred is my husband. I know you are like, “We didn’t talk about that yet,” so here we go. The conversation is about dating widows, and both of these gentlemen have experience with that. I’ll let you talk about your wife. Who is she? My wife is Kim Grimes. She was formally Kim Clayton then Kim Trewick because she was married before me. She had lost her husband in a military accident, so I’m her second husband. Kim is from Philadelphia. She moved here with her sister. We met at a military conference. It wasn’t one of those things where it was love at first sight. We met and there was a little time in between. If you want to get into that later, we can, but we’ll do that. Fred, tell us about your initial meeting with your wife. We met online and set up a date at my favorite coffee shop, Cafe Stella. I had her meet me there one Tuesday after she got off work. We had coffee and talked and went from there. Was it love at first sight for you? It was fondness at first sight. When she walked in, she was impressive. When you think about your dating experience, is your wife the first person you dated who was a widow for both of you? For me, yes. Fred? Yes. When you think about dating a widow, what are some things that you found that were different than dating experience outside of dating somebody who is a widow? With Kim, she was, I wouldn’t say more experienced, but it was the way she carried herself. It was different than anyone else that I had dated before. I am not saying that other women were immature, but it was something about her. She had been a wife. Exactly. How about you, Fred? The question is what challenges did you find different dating a widow than not? When I talk about that, I’m talking about emotional triggers and all those different things that you have dating a widow that you may have not dating somebody that doesn’t care about their ex anymore, and those types of things. This conversation has to be as organic as possible. I’m not sure if I had any challenges. My mind was easily adjustable because I was aware of the fact that you were a widow. The way you were and your personality, I didn’t think I had to tiptoe around stuff because we were talking. When we were talking, it seemed very organic. We talked and it was very relaxing. You talked about it openly, so it wasn’t like I had to worry about stepping on a landmine or anything like that by mentioning it inadvertently that it was going to upset you. You were processing it and you were speaking about it on your own. You bring up a good point, which is talking about it. When thinking about dating a widow, when you first hear those words, are there things like, “They have a dead spouse. How are we going to …

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