Embracing The Ugliness Of Grief With Alison Tariq

WRT 12 | Ugliness Of Grief

  This is a discussion with my friend Alison Tariq. On March 11, 2018, we celebrated the first anniversary of Mark’s death in her home. After moving to VA, I became closed off, and Alison came to my home to comfort this behavior. Alison told me she didn’t care how ugly my grief was when she was staying with me through the entire process. She took me to dinner and we just talked. Her actions made me realize I need to find a new therapist and continue doing the work of facing my grief. — Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach.   I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Embracing The Ugliness Of Grief With Alison Tariq OGs In this episode, my conversation is with my girlfriend, Alison. I love her. I love her commitment, even though she is totally uncomfortable, but that’s what hood does. They roll up and Alison rolled up. Welcome to this conversation. Let’s get right into it.     My guest is my girlfriend, Alison. We are so close that she could have walked over here, at least her husband has before, but she chose to drive. Let’s get into the conversation, Alison. Tina, how are you? I’m a little nervous, to be honest with you. She is, but she loves me. She is doing this for the hood because the hood comes in hard. Yes, I’m doing this for the hood. I’m equipped with my glass of wine. Alison, tell us a little bit about yourself. Who is Alison? Alison’s a person, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a hard worker. Are you from this area? I was born in North Carolina, but I moved here to Hampton, Virginia, when I was a baby and have resided in Hampton most of my life growing up. I went to college and all like that. I moved away a couple of times, but mostly the pull was pretty strong for me to come back to the area. I love the water in this area. You can’t beat that for the water. I have moved away. I lived in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, for a while. Go, Steelers. After college, I lived in Pittsburgh for a little while. I then came back to the area, moved to North Carolina for a little while, and then moved back to the area. I decided that this probably is where I wanted to be. I can go to other places, but I feel at home here. This is where my mother and my sister are. I only have one sibling, my sister. It’s very comfortable for me to be here. Also, I have a large network of friends, acquaintances, and things like that. Where did you go to college? I initially went to North Carolina Central University. My mom and dad went there. My mother was pushing me to go there, but after a year and a half of paying out-of-state tuition, I decided to come back to Old Dominion University. I went there and graduated from Old Dominion. I got my Bachelor’s degree there, and then I went to Hampton University for my Master’s degree. Let’s back up on the whole Steeler thing. She breezed over that, but I need you to understand it is not a light matter. Let’s talk about the Steelers thing a little bit. I am a crazy rabid Steeler fan. I love the Steelers. I’ve been watching them since I was twelve years old. I used to have friends that would come over on Sunday with their mothers. They were two guy friends. Our mothers would talk and chit-chat in the kitchen and whatnot, and because they were company, I had to turn to what they wanted to watch on television. Being boys, they wanted to watch football. The team that got a lot of airtime around here was the Steelers. They were Steeler fans. They taught me the game and taught me to love the Steelers. Fortunately for me, at that time, the Steelers were good and they were winning and beating everybody. I have lived through the good times and the bad times with the Steelers. That is my team. They’ll always be my team. My son is a big Steeler fan too. He tells me, “Mom, I’m more of a Steeler fan than you are.” I said, “How is that even possible?” He said, “It’s because I was born from a Steeler fan. Your mom is a Redskins fan. You were born from a Redskins fan. I’m more of a Steeler fan than you are.” Although I disagreed with him, on the other hand, I could see why a child would have that logic. I never knew that. You have a lot of Steeler stuff. What are some of your favorite Steeler items? We have a home theater in my house. Half of the home theater is decorated for Steelers. There are banners from the championship years and framed pictures in there. All kinds of Steeler paraphernalia are in there, like rugs, pillows, bean bags, chairs, tables, towels, everything. I have the table towels framed, as well as ones that I can spin around. The other side of the home theater belongs to my husband. We won’t talk about the other side because it’s not Steelers. I was wondering how you were going to play that out, “The other side of the room is another team that we’re not going to talk about.” We don’t even need to mention that. I was expecting you to do something different. You surprised …

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