After the unexpected loss of her husband, widowhood became a turning point that sparked a new chapter in Debbie Weiss‘ life. Debbie joins us to share how widowhood unexpectedly launched her on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Debbie opens up about navigating grief, redefining her identity, and finding the strength to embrace new possibilities after loss. From redecorating her bedroom to writing the books On Second Thought… Maybe I Can and The Sprinkle Effect: A Guide to Creating a More Colorful and Fulfilling Life, Debbie’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of saying ‘yes’ to life, even when it takes you in unexpected directions. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   When Hope Feels Lost: The Power To Transform After Widowhood With Debbie Weiss Debbie, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Tina. I’m so happy to be here. I’m glad to have you here and I cannot not say something about these glasses that you have on. They’re just so jazzy. Tell us about those. Thank you. They are my favorite thing. I discovered them a few years ago. They’re called Pair Eyewear and you buy the frames from them online. I have progressives, so it’s not like you can’t have a prescription. I have a prescription and then they sell you all different toppers or different designs that just snap onto the glasses. It’s like an accessory. A different accessory that I get to pick out every day just like when you pick out your jewelry or whatever else. I’m like, “What glasses am I going to wear?” How many toppers do you have?     Maybe 50. It’s just like nail polish and everything else we change. You get to have something that goes with your outfit. I like that. Thank you. As a matter of fact, I was thinking, “I haven’t bought myself anything new in a while. I must be due.” Time for some toppers. That’s it. Finding Your Restorative Place For Peace And Rejuvenation  There are different shades of purple, the designs and everything else. It sounds like it’s quite an array. Thank you for sharing that with us. That is your favorite thing. Where’s your favorite place to go in the world or if you had a favorite vacation you’d like the take. Where would it be? To any beach. I grew up near the beach. Not right on the beach but probably about 10 to 15-minute drive with no traffic from the beach. It’s just my happy place. That smell, looking at the water and the sand. It does it for me. It’s hard to be unhappy at a beach for me                 . Thank you. It’s important for everybody to find what their places because there’s something about when you’re at that place that you get refilled. You have a sense of peace there and it can be maybe your sunroom in your house. It can maybe be a walk with a pet but knowing what it is that fulfills you and revitalize you because one thing we’ll know about being in the widowhood, it can get draining. You need to find that place that you can restore yourself. Let me share something. As you say that, it reminded me of something and we’ll get into it. My husband was sick for a long time and I was a caregiver for a very long time. Money was an issue. Our house was brand new when we moved into it. It’s now 25 years old and nothing has been updated, time and life and all of that. In my bedroom, my husband had fallen and pretty much broken his nose. There was blood all over the carpet that wasn’t cleaned. Let’s just say that I would go into my bedroom and I hated it there. My cousin one day said to me, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Some way or another, we have to make this a safe place. We have to make this your haven. Somewhere that you can walk into to escape everything that’s going on outside of these walls and just feel at peace and happy in that space.” I had never given consideration to and it doesn’t have to be. In my case, I did wind up redoing my whole bedroom and it’s amazing now, but it doesn’t even have to be like that. I just noticed if you move your furniture around or clean up a corner that you never had. I never had paid attention to how much our physical space affects our mental outlook. Thank you for sharing that. Since you’ve mentioned your husband, what is his name? If you would, please. His name was Gary. Thank you for mentioning that. I’m going to flow with the conversation, versus the way I was going to approach it. In you mentioning about how you change your bedroom, my son, who went into the military in October. In November, my husband relocated to Virginia because he was trying to find a job there. That was in 2016 and in March 2017, Mark passed. May of 2017, my daughter left to go into the military. A 2,600 square foot house and 1.75 acres, the children grew up there. It was the bustling hustling situation. We were looking forward to them getting out of the house and being empty nesters and life took a dramatic turn for me. I was left in the house with everything just the way it was. I would come home from work and sit in the