“It is what it is. I’m going to live here out loud.” Cheryl Scruggs joins Tina Fornwald for a raw and vulnerable conversation about navigating the turbulent waters of a mother’s grief. After experiencing a series of devastating losses, including the passing of her daughter, Stephanie, Cheryl opens up about her struggles with mental health, suicidal thoughts, and the complexities of grieving multiple losses at once. She shares her journey of healing, the importance of finding your community, and how her faith has guided her through the darkest of times. Cheryl also discusses her book, Surviving Grief, and her podcast of the same name, where she shares her story and offers support to others who are grieving. This episode is a powerful reminder that even in the face of immense pain, there is hope for healing and that by embracing vulnerability, we can find strength and connection with others. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here A Mother’s Grief: Finding Strength And Healing After Loss With Cheryl Scruggs Cheryl, welcome to the show. Tina, thanks for having me. When you hear Welcome to the widowhood, what really comes to your mind? Women who have lost their spouses. Thank you. You’re like, do I fit in? Is this a space for me? I appreciate the organic and transparency. For everybody, I am still getting over bronchitis. I have tea and I am trying not to sound like my fictitious character, which is Marge. This has been smoking six packs of cigarettes a day because when I start coughing badly, that is what it is. Sure enough, I’ve had this conversation planned and I’m committed. Be patient and be kind and don’t tear me apart in the ratings. Cheryl, you bring up a good point. Thank you for mentioning that. When we came up with a name for this organization, the term widowhood was to cover the entire community. I’m from Chicago. Hood means family to me. I am the widow of origin in this organization, but my children, my family, my friends, when one person passes, that relationship of every other person connected to it, somebody else, like when my husband passed, his parents would have been impacted from his passing, his siblings would have been impacted, his nieces and nephews. Even though it was the widow experience, me, but the entire hood was impacted. As we get into your conversation, hopefully, that idea of me explaining this is you’re in that hood from the perspective of the person that you have lost. In the same vein, I’m actually going to speak with the board members about considering changing the name or using the DBA because if I have to explain it, that’s too much. I want people to organically feel like they’re connected and know that they have a place here. Me explaining that to you hopefully gives a sense of how you do belong in this conversation but it’s like, when you’re already grieving, you ain’t got time for extra explanation. I need to have known already. We’re looking to change that, but it is intentional to support the hood. That is all of us that are grieving. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share that with you. Now that you hear the name of it, what do you think when I say welcome to the widowhood? When you said widow, even if you didn’t have the hood, that automatically takes me to somebody who has lost somebody who’s grieving. The hood just includes everybody that’s in the midst of the grief. There’s a widow, there’s a cousin, there’s a child, there’s a parent, there’s a cousin. The hood just ties it all in. The widow is grieving, but so are we collectively, we’re all grieving. Where are you located physically right now in the world? Right now I’m in Maryland. I just moved from Georgia about three months ago. I moved because I wasn’t doing too good mentally and physically. I went from a size 14 to a size 2. I think I’m grieving so many different things not only the loss of my child, but a relationship. I lost my job seven days before I lost her. It’s been a lot. I had no family down there. The guy who I was seeing, he was there. Anyway, I had no family there. It was just me and my grandkids. I was crashing. I was walking 20 miles a day, not eating just so I wouldn’t have anxiety and panic. It was a mess. Now I’m in Maryland and I’m healing and I’m at a size six now and I’ve gained some weight. The anxiety isn’t as bad. I still have my days, but it’s getting better. Thank you for sharing. I’d like to go back and dive into each one of those things that you mentioned a little bit more. I am sorry for the passing of your daughter. Your daughter’s name, would you share it with us, please? I’m Stephanie Scruggs. Stephanie’s Passing Stephanie. When you think of Stephanie, you just started smiling. What are the thoughts that when you think of her comes to mind? Stephanie was so confident. No matter what she put on, and one day she came home to my mom’s house and she had these long locks down to her feet. She was just in my mom’s kitchen and she was my mom was like, “Girl, if you would sit down and stop swinging that hair.” She was just so confident and Stephanie, as a child, always was my neat freak. Like she was very clean and she hated things out of order. She