Rebuilding Life After Loss Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

The Conversations About Rebuilding Life After Loss With Anita Coyle And Mel Shore

Podcast / October 8, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Anita Coyle and Mel Shore | Rebuilding Life After Loss

Navigating spousal loss can leave you feeling disoriented, exhausted, and completely isolated in survival mode. Rebuilding life after loss isn’t about rushing to feel okay, but about discovering compassionate space to honor your pain at your own pace. In this heartfelt conversation, host Dr. Tina Fornwald welcomes Anita and Mel, hosts of the podcast Widow We Do Now. Together, they discuss the physical reality of trauma, passive suicidality, and why dark humor often becomes a vital lifeline. They reveal practical ways to support a grieving friend without offering shallow platitudes that do more harm than good. You’ll learn how small daily choices and authentic community connections can slowly restore hope. Tune in to discover why honoring your own timeline is the kindest choice you can make today. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. Watch the episode here — Listen to the podcast here The Conversations About Rebuilding Life After Loss With Anita Coyle And Mel Shore The Absurdity And Camaraderie Of Early Grief This conversation is what I’ve genuinely been looking forward to. My guests have been an amazing voice in the widow community. Their show, Widow We Do Now, is amazing. These young widows have been a voice in Camp Widow, personal communities, and other things that they have been doing for widowhood. I invite you to this conversation with Mel and Anita now. Let’s get into the discussion. Mel and Anita, welcome to the widowhood. Thank you. Thank you. What’s the ticker tape on the back of welcome to the widowhood? What would be the thing that would be going on in the background in your mind? It’s like, “I’m not going to say that out loud.” Mine would be a groan. I would say, “No, thank you.” Is it, “Can I decline?” That ship has said. Is it optional? Yes. Can we unsubscribe? No one said that, but that’s what you would want. Some people try to, but you’re always widowed. If it’s happened to you, it’s happened. Now you’ve got me interested. How would some people try to unsubscribe short of taking themselves out of this world? They don’t want to participate in widowed spaces. We’ve gotten emails from people before where they’ve been guests on our podcast, which we have. They say, “Will you remove our episode because we’re no longer identifying with the widow space?” It’s happened for a couple of people. I was like, “What?” You almost derailed me. I feel like we need to have a private conversation because I have so many questions that I’m going to need a private call because I have stuff. I’m going to make this about you because I almost went someplace. Coffee or tea? N either. I like some tea. It tastes like grass. It depends on the tea. It all does. Anita, have you had boba milk tea? You might like that. It’s all sugar. I like it, except for the tea undertone makes it taste like grass. She’s stronger than grass. The bobas are like little boogers slurping down. Have you had boba? It’s a texture. My daughter lives in California. Yes. I can’t. I had my first boba tea months ago and it felt like I was eating slugs. No offense. Mountain or beach? Mountain. Norway, so I can have beaches and mountains. We’re from the mountains, though. I need the mountains. Anita, there’s different types of beaches, warm beaches. Norway’s beaches are not warm. In the summer, maybe. Favorite comfort food. Pizza and tacos. This is so hard. It could be more than one. I love candy. What kinds? Chocolate or sour? Pie chew. She loves licorice. I inherited a five-pound bag of gummy bears that melted in somebody’s car. They didn’t want them anymore. I was like, “I’ll take them.” I have lost a whole tube to the gummy bears and have to get it. That was $500. I’m not trying to do it again. I love that, but the dental work, not good. There might be an option for you. Have you seen those newer candies called Peelerz? They’re so weird. I avoided them for months and then I finally got them because I didn’t understand what they were and they’re good. They’re in the gummy family. They’re very weird. I love them. I like them better than gummy bears. They’re not sticky like that to the teeth? They’re not that sticky. I’ll have to look into that. You have me interested. What is one thing people would never guess about you? I can do a pretty good handstand. Straight? Are you leaning on the wall? How’s it going It’s just like in a handstand contest. I often win and you wouldn’t guess that. I wouldn’t guess that. She also can ride a unicycle. She’s a clown. Is this a part-time gig? Are there secrets? I cannot disclose my clown identity. Mine’s boring. I know that it surprises people because it happens on the daily. They ask how old I am and I say, “I’m 44.” They say, “You’re not 44,” because I don’t look 44. Whatever. That’s a boring one. I would say a more fun one would be that I played college rugby with no experience. It was terrifying. I’m sorry. The flex is looking good at 40 because when you’re getting older. My daughter is constantly saying, “My mom looks the way she looks at 60. That’s why she looks the way she looks at 30.” You do look good. That is the real flex. Mel texted me that. She was like, “Tina looks so young.” Thank you. We’re both 25, I think. Exactly. What is something

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The Wise Widow: Finding Hope, Healing, And Identity After Losing Your Spouse With Yulonda Hill

Podcast / September 17, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Yulonda Hill | Healing After Loss

In this heartfelt episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Yulonda Hurst Hill—speaker, author, storyteller, life coach, and Director of The Widowed Well. Together, they explore the emotional, spiritual, and practical decisions widows face after loss, how to rediscover identity, and what it means to build a meaningful life while honoring the love that came before. Yulonda shares insights from her digital guide, The Wise Widow: The First 7 Decisions After Loss, along with her passion for helping widows heal through storytelling, faith, and legacy. This conversation offers compassionate encouragement, practical guidance, and hope for anyone navigating grief after the death of a spouse. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here The Wise Widow: Finding Hope, Healing, And Identity After Losing Your Spouse With Yulonda Hill What happens when purpose slowly creeps in where all you thought you had was pain? What happens when your pain is so intense and someone thinks that they’re giving you comforting words and all they’re doing is adding to your pain? What happens when your grief shows up in church and you’re not sure if this is the place where you can say it out loud, but your pastor notices what’s going on? This conversation is what we’re going to talk about with Yulonda Hill. Let’s get into the discussion now. Yulonda, welcome to widowhood. Thank you so much. I’m excited to be here. Thank you for having me and asking me. Redefining Your Space After Sudden Loss You are welcome. When you hear, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what’s the ticker tape in the back of your mind? If someone were to look and say, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what’s in there? Hearing, “Welcome to the widowhood,” is a group that you never necessarily wanted to be in. I had this conversation with someone. This is the person. This is the thing on the other side of the room. Initially, it was rough. Welcoming to widowhood says to me, “Welcome to the other side of what was devastating and what was horrible.” It no longer has that meaning and that connotation behind it. I know it’s to help other people who are going through a dark night of the soul as well because we walk that path. You say walk that path. Let’s begin with your story. Who was Yulonda before widowhood? Who is this incredible man that you shared your life with? Unforeseen Love And Surrendering Control I love to have this conversation about this man anytime I get a chance to talk about him. Yulonda was the person who she knew at twelve years old, she didn’t want to be married. She didn’t want children. She wanted to live in New Zealand. The twelve-year-old, in the seventh grade. Mr. Stuart Nelson asked what we wanted to do. I said, “I want to live in New Zealand, and I want to be the first Supreme Court justice at about 27. When I walk in a room, they’ll say, “There she is.” He said, “Really?” That’s how vivid. It sounds like it could have been a detailed plan, but go ahead. That’s what I wanted. When I was a kid, I never did play with Barbie and Ken. I never did play house. I always thought about what was I going to do to make the world know who I was. Getting married was never in the plan. Having children was never in the plan. I never thought about it. When I met James and we started talking about life with a partner. He said, “Marriage can be beautiful if you have the right person.” I was thinking, “Okay.” She’s not me. The more that I talked with him and one day, I realized that I was in love with him. I did not know that God could love me in such a way that he freed me to relax. He freed me to love. I tell people this when I’m teaching on talking to women about submitting to their husbands. I said, “When the Bible talks about husbands and wives, wives submit to your husband and husbands to love your wife like Christ loved the church. You realize that if I can trust Him the way I can trust him, if He frees me up to love him the way I want to love him.” I got married at 35. I was older when I got married and I had bought my house already. I was paying bills already. I was in a corporate job. I was doing well. Things were great, but then this man. It was amazing. I could not imagine waiting so long after I found out what love could be. We finally got married and it was great. I was looking forward to getting up and cooking. The day after the wedding, I said to my friend, “I can’t wait to cook breakfast for him.” She said, “Is that what you’re looking forward to?” I said, “It is.” This man was amazing. He was brilliant. He was very articulate. He was over this program called SARE, or Sustainable Agriculture and Research Education. He was the director of it. He was over thirteen Southeastern states, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. Out of 100% of his job, he traveled for about 70% and he loved it. He loved working and he loved me. That life we had was beautiful. I never thought that we’d be in this place. We’re trying to hear the love story. I want to hear about this story. It takes so long to

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Life After Loss: Gina Sevey On Widowhood, Grief Support & Healing After Spousal Loss

Podcast / June 11, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Gina Sevey | Spousal Loss

Losing a spouse can feel like the end of your world, leaving you navigating a landscape of grief and hopelessness. In this heartfelt conversation, guest Gina Sevey draws a poignant parallel between the slow, deliberate process of baking sourdough bread and the journey of widowhood, emphasizing that grief cannot be rushed. Through her personal story of loss and her mission to support others, Gina explores how to manage overwhelming emotions, the necessity of community, and the transformative power of shifting your thought processes. Listeners will gain actionable insight into how to honor their past while finding the strength to embrace a future where joy and grief can coexist, ultimately learning a new way to stand in their own lives. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Life After Loss: Gina Sevey On Widowhood, Grief Support & Healing After Spousal Loss When your spouse died, did you feel like your life was over? Did you feel like you were hopeless? Did you feel like nothing was worth doing anymore? Have you been looking for a way to change that thought process, to be hopeful, to think that there are opportunities for you to have joy? If that is you, this is a conversation you want to be in with Gina. Let’s get into this discussion. Gina, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much. I’m so glad and honored to be here. When I say, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” and you say you’re honored and glad, the backstory or the ticker tape is what we would read, or would it be something else? I’m sad that I have to be here. There we go. I always say to the ladies in my group, “I wish I were teaching you how to make sourdough bread, but this is where we are at.” The Sourdough Metaphor: Processing Grief What are some similar processes to make sourdough bread as it relates to dealing with, managing, and surviving widowhood? Are there similarities? There are. The thing about sourdough bread, rather than making regular bread, is that with sourdough, there’s a long fermentation. You can’t rush it. Grief is the same thing. It’s something you cannot rush. Timing is so important with sourdough bread. You put that starter in with the flour and water, and then you let that levain rise. That’s a seven-hour process. You’ve then got to make the dough, and there’s even a process within making the dough. It’s not mixing it up and then slapping it in some stuff. There’s a process, and it requires time. It is the same thing for widowhood. There’s a process, and it’s your process. Grief is the same. We all lost our husbands. If you’re a widow, you lost your husband. The process can be different depending on how you look at it. Thank you for diving into that impromptu question. I could see some similarities. Would you share your husband’s name with us? Sure. My husband’s name is Lew. When you heard me ask for his name, what image came to mind or memory? His smile, his presence, and his joy for life. If you knew Lew, you knew Lew. He’s bold and fearless. Whenever I hear his name, I think he made an impression on my life and on so many other people’s lives. Do you remember the first time you met Lew? Yes. Do tell. We were both at a community college. He was in the Military. He was going back to school so that he could become an officer in the Military. I met him because I had a boyfriend at the time, and he introduced Lew to me in the common area. He was so funny and so different. He’s seven years older than me. I was like, “He’s a cutie,” but I was dating somebody. He was dating someone, too. That next semester, I had broken up with that guy, and I wound up seeing Lew again. He had gotten out of jump school. He had short hair. I remember putting my hand on his head, and I was like, “You got your hair cut.” He asked me, with my friend, like, “How about if you, your boyfriend, and I see a movie together?” That’s how it started. I used to live in Chicago. We went down to the city, and it was so much fun. Do you remember the movie? First Blood. Appropriate for a Military guy. Were you into the movie or into Lew? Which one was it? Lew. I do remember thinking as I was in the movie, “Why did I say yes to this?” but it was a good movie. Have you seen it since? No. It was not that great. It wasn’t one of those Sunday afternoons repeat movies. Navigating Love, Faith, And Early Marriage You and Lew go out on this date, and where do we go from there? I was telling my daughter that the night that Lew took me home, because he dropped everyone and me off and walked me to my door. He gave me a butterfly kiss. I remember thinking, “He didn’t kiss me on my lips. He kissed me and gave me a little butterfly kiss.” I was like, “He’s different.” We started dating from there. We dated for a couple of years and then got married. Let’s back it up. At what point did we become exclusive? How did this come about? Was it organic? It was organic. He was fun and funny. My parents weren’t super excited about him because he was older. He had been married before.

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Grief, Love, Moving Forward After Loving Larry With Dannie D.

Podcast / June 4, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Dannie D. | Grief

When people go through grief, they often handle it so self-consciously that it becomes a performance-based experience. They tend to “check off boxes” of how the grieving journey is supposed to look. Tina Fornwald discusses the importance of honoring one’s own timeline for release and healing with Dannie D. He reflects on how he addresses the stigma around Black males crying and showing emotions when grieving, as well as the negative perspectives around going to therapy. Dannie D. also opened up about his experience as a widower after the death of his partner Dale, who passed away from a heart attack at age 50. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Grief, Love, Moving Forward After Loving Larry With Dannie D. Widowhood, what do you do when you are a trained mental health professional, and your person dies? How do you manage the mental health side and the I am the griever side? How do they work together? This conversation and more are going to be answered in this conversation with Dannie D as he talks about the love of his life and what life looks like now. Let us get into this discussion. Dannie, welcome to the Widowhood. I am surprised. When you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” what comes to mind first? Like no bars, no holding back, no social media, no bad words to not say. What comes to your mind when you hear that? I like just the sound of it. It makes me feel like I am in this environment where there are flowers and dewdrops and falls and springs. All of these wonderful things make me feel comfortable. I hear community and connection, and I am not alone. Most people may not understand why you feel that way when you hear that word. Why does it bring you comfort? I am at a place in my life where I have done all the things that I wanted to do, or I should say set out to do. I was a professional dancer. I said I wanted to be a professional dancer when I was about 2 or 3 or 4. I was a little bit older, maybe like four. I did that. I became a choreographer. I became a teacher. I became a clinician. I am licensed, and I bought property. I have done all the things. It allows me time to really settle into who I am and identify what is around me. I am a big proponent of mindfulness and implementing self-care practices within your daily routine. I find myself in this present moment a lot of times in life. Let me ask a different question. Who is not here in your life that has brought us to this conversation? Dale. You will respect me calling him Dale. I like Larry. Larry is a much better name for me. We are going to get into that. I need to know, so now you got me with my nose hat out. Dale Miller. It was very interesting because I was not in a place to actually meet anybody. I was just not mentally or physically prepared. I was going through some illnesses and just transitions in general. This was prior to my injury, and I was still trying to figure out who I am, as a person, as an individual, my identity. All of those different things because I was a dancer, and that is who I was, that was it. Hold on for a second. Not just a dancer, I mean, drop some of these things that you have done, the places you went to school. Dancing would be like Tina saying, “She was dancing.” No. As a professional, can you elaborate on that for the scholars in the dance world so they can understand who you are and what you have done? I always say that Debbie Allen is my unofficial first dance teacher because I started watching Fame, the TV series. I had not seen the movie yet. I started watching Fame, the TV series. I saw Leroy, and I was like, “Wait a minute,” because I had seen dance before. I had not seen dance with people who looked like me, which is a good reason why presentation matters. I saw Leroy, and I was like, “I can do that.” I was like, “Wait, no, I want to do that.” For years, I just sort of watched Fame, put on my sister’s leg warmers. I was just emulating, mimicking what was going on on TV. I would sit in what we call the center splits, which is your legs wide open in a second position. I would just sit there and watch the show. Eventually, I went to a performing arts school called San Diego School of Creative and Performing Arts. I met my dance mentor there, Mr. Donald Robinson, who is still my mentor to this day. I call him my dance dad, and he pushed me in directions that I had no idea I was capable of going in. From there, I graduated, and I went to the Alvin Ailey Academy, or Alvin Ailey Dance School, and then I got bumped up into a position where I was able to actually perform. I had a little bit of a nervous breakdown just because of the culture shock moving from California to New York. It is a completely different experience. I ended up coming back home for a little bit. I went to Colorado and danced with Cleo Parker Robinson, and traveled a lot with that company around the

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Actively Grieving: Choosing Joy After Loss With Kari Driskell

Podcast / April 23, 2026

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kari Driskell | Actively Grieving

Actively grieving is often described as a heavy shackle, yet Kari Driskell joins us to share the profound realization that while grief is lifelong, the state of active devastation does not have to be. As a widow who turned her personal loss into a “Heart Work” methodology, Kari discusses the vital distinction between the permanent presence of grief and the choice to move toward a sense of aliveness again. We explore the “messy and ugly” reality of parenting through acute loss, the importance of witnessing a friend’s sadness without trying to “fix” it with a tissue, and how to nurture that tiny flame of hope that says life can be beautiful again. It is a raw, honest look at the “buffalo” mentality—running straight into the storm of healing to find the calm on the other side. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Actively Grieving: Choosing Joy After Loss With Kari Driskell Choosing Joy: The Difference Between Grief And Active Grieving Our conversation with Kari Driskell is going to challenge you. Have you ever wondered, “Could I choose to find joy? Could I choose to no longer be in a depressed state?” This conversation with Kari is going to allow you to think about whether it is a choice. What are the choices you are making daily? Let us get into this conversation now. Kari, I am so grateful for you to be here. Before we get into the whole part of the conversation about how grief has shaped you, tell me about who you are today. I am grounded. I am sure. I am not afraid. I am happy. I am calmer. As people listen to this conversation, what is something important that you want them to take away from this discussion? My biggest message that I can share as a widow who has been through some s***. I can cuss. I probably should not have used that word. This is not TikTok, but be warned that on certain platforms, they do have to bleep it out if that is going to happen. It is up to you. This is your discussion. I am just guiding it. After having gone through some hard times of losing my own husband, I want people to know that there is a difference between grief and actively grieving. You do not have to actively grieve forever. You can choose not to. Actively grieving. What does that mean, the difference between the two, assuming that someone is listening to this conversation, and they are like, “Grief has different words? I’m grieving, what are you saying here?” After my husband, Eric, died, I had some girlfriends come over. Of course, I am at a low point. I am in acute grief. I am actively grieving. I remember people are witnessing me, they are listening to me, and they are validating me. Some of them are dismissive because sadness is hard to be around. One of my very good friends said, “Kari, you are going to grieve Eric forever.” When she said that, I was like, “The hell I will.” I was 38, because my kids were 18 and 11, and because of how I was feeling, I could not do that the rest of my life. That is a hard way to live. I was able to take a three-year sabbatical, and I just became a student of grief. I am a former teacher, and I have a Master’s in Education. I used to teach middle school math. I have always been a helper of people, and everything is figure-outable. I am going to figure this out. I became a student of grief, and I was like, “Listen, grief is something that we deal with our entire lives.” When we are born grieving, leaving the womb, we grieve small things, we grieve big things, we grieve inconveniences. We grieve significant losses.” Actively grieving is like when your grief is so big that it affects your everyday living ability, your sense of aliveness, and your ability to find happiness. You do not have to actively grieve a significant loss forever. You can choose not to. Does grief show up? Do I grieve Eric still, even nine years later? Sure. I am not constantly actively grieving him. Thank you. How does that relate to acute grief? You mentioned that term too. They consider acute grief to be in the first two years after a significant loss. Acute grief is actively grieving. I would say it is like the first year. They say statistically the second year is harder, and that is because the administrative part of death is usually finished, and now the reality of the loss has set in. Your brain is still rewiring all of the things. Acute grief generally lasts for the first two years. Yes, you are probably actively grieving consistently in acute grief. You said you had become a student of grief and everything is figure-outable. Is grief figure-outable? This is your new term. I am going to use it. After grief, we are going to go from the span of my first dog dying to someone close to me, because grief is beyond the death of a loved one. It is expensive. You talked about the different types of things that we grieve. I would dare say also the patterns in which we learn to manage those different griefs come up, and how we show up in life. Is it something that one can figure out? Yes and no. It is something that we learn to live with. It is something

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