Dealing with your loved one’s last moments is not easy, but you have to make it count not just for your own peace, but also for the person lying on their deathbed. We hear the experiences and insights of Gabrielle Jimenez, a palliative care nurse who also works as a death doula. She discusses why communication, listening, and validation are essential to help people get through the end-of-life moments of their loved ones to avoid living with regrets. Gabrielle also explains how you can find joy despite the sadness and why giving yourself permission to cry is part of anyone’s grieving journey. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Glimpse Into The Life Of A Death Doula With Gabrielle Jimenez Voices Of Widowhood: Healing Through The Holidays Hospice, palliative care, death doula, what does that even mean? In this conversation with Gabby during this series that we have, Voices of Widowhood: Healing Through the Holidays, these are the things that you’re going to learn. How do you show up when someone is in that bed and they’re about to take their last breath and is close to the holidays? What happens to your identity crisis when they leave? Should you still be laughing? Are you allowed to cry when you’re in the room with them? Can you go through the holidays? Anyway, let’s get into this conversation.       Gabby, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me to the widowhood. If someone could see the ticker tape that went across your head, you go, “Widowhood,” like, “Yes, thank you,” what would that look like if we got the inside version of your mind? You have to remember that I speak to Grievers all the time, and so there’s nothing about that that surprises or startles or makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I get it. I spend a lot of time with widows and widowers because I was there when the last breaths were taken, and so I get to know them from that starting point, some of which I’ve stayed in contact with, some of which have remained good friends. Yeah, that’s a word that is in my vocabulary. Understanding Hospice Palliative Care And Death Doula I love that because this miniseries that you decide to be a part of, Voices of Widowhood: Healing Through the Holidays, because you have that experience and that place where you have walked side by side with people in the most difficult times, I knew your voice in this conversation, speaking to people through the holidays was going to be important. Let’s talk about what you do first as far as being a Death Doula and what that means, and so they can understand why your voice is so important to this process. I’m a Hospice and Palliative Care Nurse, actually. I’ve been with about 2,500 people at the end of their life. That is just a big statement. We cannot go past that quickly. I have been with over 2,500 people as they navigated the different stages of the diagnosis to death. I have witnessed about 1,500 last breaths. From what timeline does that span? Since 2016. That is a very short period of time. Yes, it is. I used to manage a hospice house with ten beds and it was very much a revolving door of people coming in and dying and leaving and then new people coming in. At one time, there could be three deaths in a day. It could vary from 1 to 3, sometimes at the same time. That definitely is why there have been so many, was because it was a house in which people came to a lot. Also, as a field nurse, I’ve worked in hospice and palliative care, so I see them from diagnosis to death and then on their grief journey. As a doula, the thing about doulas is that they have the luxury of time. They’re nonclinical, but they can be there with someone who is going through that process and because you have the luxury of time, you can stay longer, which allows my visits to linger. I can spend time with them after last breaths as well, which is the grief journey. I want to circle back to someone that has zero knowledge of the different terms that you’ve used as far as the clinical part services that you provide and the death doula and people trying to understand what is palliative care and all of those things that you just expressed. Can we circle back and expand on those a little bit more, please? Absolutely. Let’s start with a person is declining from age or illness and there’s symptoms that need to be managed and perhaps medications and treatments. This is where palliative care would come in. Palliative care is comfort care. It is often provided through hospitals and medical facilities. Some hospice teams, some hospice companies have palliative care within their practice. When the symptoms become too hard to manage or they’ve chosen not to do any more treatments, or it is determined that they have six months or less to live, then that is when it would be suggested that they start hospice. I say this a lot. Hospice is not a diagnosis. It is a plan of care for the diagnosis. The hospice team, which consists of a doctor, a nurse who is the case manager, a social worker, a chaplain, a home health aide, and a volunteer come together and collaboratively help support the person in the bed as well as