Widowhood is often associated with brokenness, depression, and isolation. But amidst the loneliness after losing a loved one, there is one thing that will never go away: God’s presence. I sit down with Florine Hurdle, author of two amazing books about widowhood, who shares how her faith carried her through the lowest point of her grieving journey. She talks about her own widowhood community, where she leads a sisterhood that supports and guides each other towards personal growth. Florine also discusses why widows should never suppress their feelings of rediscovering love and why romance will always be part of their lives. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Embracing God’s Presence In Widowhood With Florine Hurdle Hello, Widowhood. Our conversation with Florine Hurdle is going to be spicy. She is having a conversation about how we as widows are still alive in the thoughts of romance that still exist. In companion with that conversation is her second book, which is a conversation that allows people to support a widow in their first year. She provides extensive details on how to support a widow, a guide for clergy, and so much more. Let’s get into this conversation now.     Hello, Florine. Welcome to the Widowhood. Hello, Miss Tina. I’m glad to be here. People would say, “I’m glad to be in the widowhood.” Really? What’s the ticker tape? When you think of widowhood, what’s the first thing that comes to mind for you? Initially, for me, widowhood is somebody who is in their 70s or 80s. She has lived some life, she has been to some places, she has done some things, accomplished some things, and she is rocking her crown of gray or silver hair. I’m saying your crown is looking good. How Florine Became A Widow What did it look like for you being in a widowhood? For me, it was probably more of a shock. The initial, “Really? He’s not coming back? You’re kidding. No. This is somebody else’s life I’m living.” I think I’m in a movie. I’m portraying somebody else’s life. I’m acting this out to try to help somebody else. Somebody may hear that, and they go, “She has to know it was a real thing,” or “Why could you not understand that that happened?” You talk about in one of your books, 0 to 100, they’re gone, they’re snatched, and there’s no return. Looking from the outside, before I was this close to it, I would have thought, “Okay,” but being in this space, I’m like, “Yeah, those are the things you think about. They’re on a work trip, you all play it.” For me, my husband was a military veteran. I treated it as if he were on tour. He’s getting ready to walk through the door any minute, any day. He’s going to drag them money boots in here. I’m going to have to fuss at him and tell him, “Sir, please take your stuff to the garage. You’re making a mess.” That was for me. How long, and still maybe now, to realize this is the reality? He is not coming home. It’s probably a daily thing. It’s a moment-to-moment thing. That is because there are still triggers. There are still things that resurface, or maybe even for me, when I’m out and about, and I see a young Black man, bald-headed with a goatee. I don’t know that until he turns around, but even turning around, when you see this image, I’m like, “That’s not him.” There have been a couple of times that have happened to me where I’m like, “That’s not my husband,” because I was going to tap on his shoulder and be like, “Sir, turn around. Where have you been for the last almost eight years of my life? Don’t be a double agent.” Eight years. We are in the same timeline of that process. If someone ever told me, flip into the future, Mark would be past eight years, and it would still be a part of me grieving him, I would say that makes no sense. Right now, I’m like, “This is forever.” This is a life journey. I say that from the perspective of someone who has remarried. That does not change it. What has widowhood been for you in the daily experience compared to someone you may have supported who lost a loved one before your husband passed? Daily is choosing to live. Daily is choosing to say, “You got a whole son. You got to show him what it’s like to live for him, for his father, for your husband,” because I’m still carrying his good name. One of the things that I choose to tell myself daily is, “You still carry his name, not his name, but you’re a representative of the kingdom.” What does it look like to represent both God and him and honor them both daily? Choosing to live past the fact that I get to wake up with this pillow next to me every night and wake up every morning, it’s still a real thing. It’s not a dream. It’s my reality. I think for me, it’s daily choosing to still go back to the same workplace that I was stuck at, where I could not get to my husband in time, walk past that section of cubicles every day, and say, “That’s where I was.” I couldn’t get out because I didn’t have the car that morning. He had dropped me off for work, went to his appointment at the VA, and said, “Babe, you better be