How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Chanoa Inez | Dream Again After Grief

  In this inspiring episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Chanoa Inez, author of Dream On: How to Create the New Life of Your Dreams After Upheaval or Loss. Chanoa shares her remarkable journey after the sudden loss of her partner while traveling abroad and the long road of healing that followed. Together, they discuss what it takes to move beyond survival mode, rediscover hope, and intentionally create a meaningful life after devastating loss. Whether you’re newly widowed or years into your grief journey, this conversation offers practical strategies, heartfelt encouragement, and the reminder that while grief changes your life forever, it doesn’t have to end your dreams. If you’ve been wondering whether joy, purpose, and hope are still possible, this episode is for you. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here     How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez Our conversation with Chanoa Inez is going to be something you will remember for quite a while. Chanoa talks about being stuck in a cloud of grief and feeling like she can never get herself out of it. There was the moment where she realized she deserved more, and she realized she could and deserved and had the capacity to dream on. Let’s get into this conversation now.       Chanoa, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you, Dr. Tina. When you hear Welcome to The Widowhood, what do you think? Rethinking the Definition of Widowhood To Widowhood, even though technically a part of it, I’ve never used that word. I guess first because I was not married, but second because I always think of it more like someone who’s maybe in the last chapter in their life, or they feel like they’re the last chapter of their lives, and they decided I’m never going to try. I’m never going to grow for love again. That was it. Now I will be alone forever. That is never something I’ve heard in the context of this show, but there are a lot of people that feel like that in widowhood. That word makes you feel like I’m done. I do not have anything to hope for. That life has completed itself. That’s because widowhood is often connected to someone older, someone who is way past in their life and has done all the different things, but yet they’re not done. It’s never. People do not feel like it’s connected to someone younger. Now you mentioned you’re part of it, but not part of it. Can you elaborate on that a little bit more? I would say because, when my boyfriend passed away, we had plans to get married. He even wanted to start having children shortly before he passed away. I delayed it because I said, “We’re moving to another country.” Obviously I had some guilt about that, as you can imagine. It would not have, it was not supposed to be that way. We were not married. Everyone considered us like, that’s it. I was the stepmother basically to his son, and we lived together. I would say technically, I think they usually reserve it for people who are married. Do you think that’s unfair considering the level of commitment that you had and how invested you were, and people are not seeing what you’ve lost for what you have because of a term? Yes, thankfully, like family and friends, nobody looked at it that way. They knew how we were. They were inseparable, and everyone knew our commitment to each other. It was complicated, in some ways, like, for example, we pulled our funds and moved to a foreign country, and he passed away within 24 hours. We were not married. I had no access to the funds. Thankfully, I had friends who helped me out. Protecting Assets in Unmarried Relationships Eventually, his family was able to get that money out. It was just able to be like, let that be for his son. Those are the kinds of things you do not think about. You’re like young people, and you’re like, “We’re moving and we need a foreign bank account,” and all these things. There are so many technical ways, like even if somebody ends up in a hospital and they have not passed away, where if you’re not married, then it’s very difficult because technically that paperwork, they’re going to see things differently and you’ll lose access to certain privileges, I’d say. I did not think about this when we had our pre-episode conversation, but hearing you talk about it now, what advice would you give to someone who’s in between? We’re married, and we’re in this committed relationship that would be a good safeguard for them and their partner. It really depends on the nuances of what they need to protect. I would definitely say some paperwork, for example, us deciding, “Let’s put our money together and put it in this account. My name should have been on the account. There should have been some there.” We’re just thinking. We’re young, of course. We’re waking up tomorrow, and everything’s fine. There’s nothing to do there. Just that, like, see what nuances you have together. You live together, and one of you owns the house? If something happened, would you want the other person to have that house? This is paperwork that needs to be taken care of because you’re completely shut out if anything happens, regardless of family’s efforts. Thank you for that. That is going to ring true to people because people that are tuning in

How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez Read More »