In this heartfelt episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Yulonda Hurst Hill—speaker, author, storyteller, life coach, and Director of The Widowed Well. Together, they explore the emotional, spiritual, and practical decisions widows face after loss, how to rediscover identity, and what it means to build a meaningful life while honoring the love that came before. Yulonda shares insights from her digital guide, The Wise Widow: The First 7 Decisions After Loss, along with her passion for helping widows heal through storytelling, faith, and legacy. This conversation offers compassionate encouragement, practical guidance, and hope for anyone navigating grief after the death of a spouse. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Wise Widow: Finding Hope, Healing, And Identity After Losing Your Spouse With Yulonda Hill What happens when purpose slowly creeps in where all you thought you had was pain? What happens when your pain is so intense and someone thinks that they’re giving you comforting words and all they’re doing is adding to your pain? What happens when your grief shows up in church and you’re not sure if this is the place where you can say it out loud, but your pastor notices what’s going on? This conversation is what we’re going to talk about with Yulonda Hill. Let’s get into the discussion now.     Yulonda, welcome to widowhood. Thank you so much. I’m excited to be here. Thank you for having me and asking me. Redefining Your Space After Sudden Loss You are welcome. When you hear, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what’s the ticker tape in the back of your mind? If someone were to look and say, “Welcome to the widowhood,” what’s in there? Hearing, “Welcome to the widowhood,” is a group that you never necessarily wanted to be in. I had this conversation with someone. This is the person. This is the thing on the other side of the room. Initially, it was rough. Welcoming to widowhood says to me, “Welcome to the other side of what was devastating and what was horrible.” It no longer has that meaning and that connotation behind it. I know it’s to help other people who are going through a dark night of the soul as well because we walk that path. You say walk that path. Let’s begin with your story. Who was Yulonda before widowhood? Who is this incredible man that you shared your life with? Unforeseen Love And Surrendering Control I love to have this conversation about this man anytime I get a chance to talk about him. Yulonda was the person who she knew at twelve years old, she didn’t want to be married. She didn’t want children. She wanted to live in New Zealand. The twelve-year-old, in the seventh grade. Mr. Stuart Nelson asked what we wanted to do. I said, “I want to live in New Zealand, and I want to be the first Supreme Court justice at about 27. When I walk in a room, they’ll say, “There she is.” He said, “Really?” That’s how vivid. It sounds like it could have been a detailed plan, but go ahead. That’s what I wanted. When I was a kid, I never did play with Barbie and Ken. I never did play house. I always thought about what was I going to do to make the world know who I was. Getting married was never in the plan. Having children was never in the plan. I never thought about it. When I met James and we started talking about life with a partner. He said, “Marriage can be beautiful if you have the right person.” I was thinking, “Okay.” She’s not me. The more that I talked with him and one day, I realized that I was in love with him. I did not know that God could love me in such a way that he freed me to relax. He freed me to love. I tell people this when I’m teaching on talking to women about submitting to their husbands. I said, “When the Bible talks about husbands and wives, wives submit to your husband and husbands to love your wife like Christ loved the church. You realize that if I can trust Him the way I can trust him, if He frees me up to love him the way I want to love him.” I got married at 35. I was older when I got married and I had bought my house already. I was paying bills already. I was in a corporate job. I was doing well. Things were great, but then this man. It was amazing. I could not imagine waiting so long after I found out what love could be. We finally got married and it was great. I was looking forward to getting up and cooking. The day after the wedding, I said to my friend, “I can’t wait to cook breakfast for him.” She said, “Is that what you’re looking forward to?” I said, “It is.” This man was amazing. He was brilliant. He was very articulate. He was over this program called SARE, or Sustainable Agriculture and Research Education. He was the director of it. He was over thirteen Southeastern states, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. Out of 100% of his job, he traveled for about 70% and he loved it. He loved working and he loved me. That life we had was beautiful. I never thought that we’d be in this place. We’re trying to hear the love story. I want to hear about this story. It takes so long to