Widowhood

The Silent Burden: Understanding Grief Through The Eyes Of Black Women With Natasha Smith

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Natasha Smith | Black Woman Grief

  Host Dr. Tina Fornwald welcomes author and grief educator Natasha Smith to discuss how loss impacts individuals through a distinct cultural lens. Why is grief experienced differently by Black women, and what do we need to understand that we’ve been missing. Natasha Smith shares her personal story of carrying decades of unspoken loss, including family deaths, pregnancy loss, and silent caregiving. Together, they break down the cultural expectations of being the strong Black woman and explore how faith communities can create safer places for emotional healing. This powerful conversation offers practical guidance for releasing internal pressure and giving yourself full permission to feel seen. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here     Listen to the podcast here   The Silent Burden: Understanding Grief Through The Eyes Of Black Women With Natasha Smith Welcome to the show. This show features a conversation, practical tools, and inspiring stories to help you understand where grief gets stuck and how to move forward with hope. This conversation is one I believe everyone needs to hear. Grief is universal, but isn’t it always experienced the same way? Culture, race, community, expectations, faith, and life experience all shape how we grieve and whether we feel safe enough to express our grief. Joining me is the author and grief advocate, Natasha Smith, whose work shines a light on the unique grief experience of Black women through her own story, including profound loss, including the death of several loved ones, pregnancy loss, and years of caring for grief silently. She is helping others understand that grief begins when we finally give ourselves permission to be seen. Welcome, Natasha, to the Widowhood.      Natasha, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. If you would think of like the ticker tape that is in your head, like Welcome to The Widowhood. What would be the thing that really comes to mind when you hear that? That a loss has occurred to hold that highly. Now, a loss has occurred. I love how you phrased that, because you have been experiencing loss, my sister, over decades of different things. What made you finally say, “I cannot do this quietly?” Confronting Unprocessed Loss 2020 happened literally up until that moment. Up to that point, I was holding it all, stuffing it, just trying to outrun and run from grief. Primarily because I didn’t know how to process it and didn’t know what to do with it. 2020, we were shut in our homes with ourselves to deal with ourselves. That was really the pivotal point for me. Really saying I have to do something with this. Every time you turn on the news, death is staring everyone in the face. We were all experiencing loss at that time. It was really so in our faces, like death, loss, dying. There was so much chaos in the world, a political year on top of a lot of racial things that were going on. It was like, I couldn’t hide from grief even though I was running from it. That was my time to confront it. You say all of the things, when you think of your grief, what are all those things that you were trying to run from, the experiences you had? Exactly. The loss of half of my immediate family. The death of my dad and two of my older sisters. My older sister passed away when I was a sophomore in college. It was at a young age, or still in my teenage years. Also in my teenage years, I had a teen pregnancy that I placed the child for adoption. That was a loss that I really never talked about, that I stuffed away and really didn’t process at all. That was a loss that I had started to begin to unravel and process in 2020, along with miscarriages and the death of babies by stillbirth. A lot of loss that they came and they went, and I did not deal with them at all. I wrote this down because I want to make sure I say this correctly. You often say that while grief is universal, Black women experience it differently. What do most people outside of that experience understand versus what it is? That’s a beautiful question because often when I’m asked about Black Woman Grief, it comes from one of two places. One from curiosity and then another place of offense. To answer your question, someone outside of it, it may seem as if our grief is being compared to everyone else’s, and that it demeans or diminishes other people’s experience. However, that’s really not the case. Black Woman Grief is not about anyone else. It’s about us and our experiences. Pause right there. Say that again a little bit slower. Honoring Distinct Grief Experiences For Black Woman Grief, it is about us and not other people’s experiences. It is about what we experience. It’s not about them, but it’s about us. It does not diminish or take away from other people’s experiences. Instead, it makes space for ours. That right there is something people need to sit with. It’s not about comparison. My bad English has got nothing to do with anybody else but the person that’s dealing with it. It would be like having a conversation about people who are amputees. It has nothing to do with a conversation about people who have legs. This is the amputee experience. I cannot say anything that they’re going to say about that because I have both of my legs. I can choose to listen. I can choose to

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How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Chanoa Inez | Dream Again After Grief

  In this inspiring episode of Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina, Dr. Tina welcomes Chanoa Inez, author of Dream On: How to Create the New Life of Your Dreams After Upheaval or Loss. Chanoa shares her remarkable journey after the sudden loss of her partner while traveling abroad and the long road of healing that followed. Together, they discuss what it takes to move beyond survival mode, rediscover hope, and intentionally create a meaningful life after devastating loss. Whether you’re newly widowed or years into your grief journey, this conversation offers practical strategies, heartfelt encouragement, and the reminder that while grief changes your life forever, it doesn’t have to end your dreams. If you’ve been wondering whether joy, purpose, and hope are still possible, this episode is for you. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here     How To Dream Again After Losing Your Spouse: Finding Hope, Healing & Purpose With Chanoa Inez Our conversation with Chanoa Inez is going to be something you will remember for quite a while. Chanoa talks about being stuck in a cloud of grief and feeling like she can never get herself out of it. There was the moment where she realized she deserved more, and she realized she could and deserved and had the capacity to dream on. Let’s get into this conversation now.       Chanoa, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you, Dr. Tina. When you hear Welcome to The Widowhood, what do you think? Rethinking the Definition of Widowhood To Widowhood, even though technically a part of it, I’ve never used that word. I guess first because I was not married, but second because I always think of it more like someone who’s maybe in the last chapter in their life, or they feel like they’re the last chapter of their lives, and they decided I’m never going to try. I’m never going to grow for love again. That was it. Now I will be alone forever. That is never something I’ve heard in the context of this show, but there are a lot of people that feel like that in widowhood. That word makes you feel like I’m done. I do not have anything to hope for. That life has completed itself. That’s because widowhood is often connected to someone older, someone who is way past in their life and has done all the different things, but yet they’re not done. It’s never. People do not feel like it’s connected to someone younger. Now you mentioned you’re part of it, but not part of it. Can you elaborate on that a little bit more? I would say because, when my boyfriend passed away, we had plans to get married. He even wanted to start having children shortly before he passed away. I delayed it because I said, “We’re moving to another country.” Obviously I had some guilt about that, as you can imagine. It would not have, it was not supposed to be that way. We were not married. Everyone considered us like, that’s it. I was the stepmother basically to his son, and we lived together. I would say technically, I think they usually reserve it for people who are married. Do you think that’s unfair considering the level of commitment that you had and how invested you were, and people are not seeing what you’ve lost for what you have because of a term? Yes, thankfully, like family and friends, nobody looked at it that way. They knew how we were. They were inseparable, and everyone knew our commitment to each other. It was complicated, in some ways, like, for example, we pulled our funds and moved to a foreign country, and he passed away within 24 hours. We were not married. I had no access to the funds. Thankfully, I had friends who helped me out. Protecting Assets in Unmarried Relationships Eventually, his family was able to get that money out. It was just able to be like, let that be for his son. Those are the kinds of things you do not think about. You’re like young people, and you’re like, “We’re moving and we need a foreign bank account,” and all these things. There are so many technical ways, like even if somebody ends up in a hospital and they have not passed away, where if you’re not married, then it’s very difficult because technically that paperwork, they’re going to see things differently and you’ll lose access to certain privileges, I’d say. I did not think about this when we had our pre-episode conversation, but hearing you talk about it now, what advice would you give to someone who’s in between? We’re married, and we’re in this committed relationship that would be a good safeguard for them and their partner. It really depends on the nuances of what they need to protect. I would definitely say some paperwork, for example, us deciding, “Let’s put our money together and put it in this account. My name should have been on the account. There should have been some there.” We’re just thinking. We’re young, of course. We’re waking up tomorrow, and everything’s fine. There’s nothing to do there. Just that, like, see what nuances you have together. You live together, and one of you owns the house? If something happened, would you want the other person to have that house? This is paperwork that needs to be taken care of because you’re completely shut out if anything happens, regardless of family’s efforts. Thank you for that. That is going to ring true to people because people that are tuning in

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Healing Traumatic Loss And Death Scenes With Kelly Daugherty

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kelly Daugherty | Traumatic Grief Recovery

  Navigating spousal loss often exposes deep emotional wounds that require practical tools and a genuine community. Dr. Tina Fornwald connects with licensed clinical social worker, grief specialist, and one of the hosts of GRIEF Ladies, Kelly Daugherty, to discuss traumatic grief recovery and effective healing modalities. Many grieving individuals find themselves stuck on the painful death scene of their loved one, which prevents them from accessing fond memories. Processing trauma first allows you to clear the emotional roadblocks that keep you trapped in survival mode. Kelly shares her personal story of losing her mother at fourteen, navigating life with an alcoholic parent, and finding her calling as a grief therapist. Together, they explore how modalities like EMDR and progressive counting help reframe painful memories so you can move forward with love rather than pain. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Healing Traumatic Loss And Death Scenes With Kelly Daugherty Welcome back to the show. Our conversation with Kelly is going to open your mind to the idea you don’t have to stay stuck at the moment the person you love died. Hear me again. Sometimes your memories, sometimes what you’re thinking has kept you in the place in the moment in which they died. The memories of the love and the experience and everything you have are so hard to reach. This conversation with Kelly is going to empower you to think beyond that moment in what is possible for you. Let’s get into this discussion now.     Kelly, welcome to widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. “Thank you for having me to the widowhood.” What’s the backstory when you think about it deeply? What comes to mind? A lot of my clients. That’s what I think about. I think about what I’ve witnessed with them, what I’ve seen them go through, but also the transformations that I’ve seen with them. The ups and downs of grief are not linear and predictable. It’s a bit of a hot mess. That’s true. Going from there, let’s start with your story and your personal experience as it relates to grief. Overcoming Early Loss and Unspoken Family Struggles My mom died when I was fourteen. She died from breast cancer and I was struggling a great deal after that. My sisters moved out shortly after my mom died, so it was just my dad and I. My dad was an alcoholic at the time, so things were not good at home. My mom did it all and my dad just worked. I didn’t have a relationship with my dad to be completely honest. The good news is, my dad recognized I was having a hard time. He basically forced me to go to a hospice grief group for teens. The way he got me there was, I went to an all-girls Catholic High School and fifteen years old, being a little boy crazy. All it took was him saying there would be boys in the group. That’s what got me to go, but I walked into that room and my life changed. I met an amazing social worker. I knew I wasn’t alone in my grief anymore, and that’s how I had felt up into that point. Doing work with the hospice social worker and then also doing a lot of family with my dad. My dad did get sober. I threatened to run away and told him if he didn’t get sober, that’s what I was going to do. I was very determined to do that and he did. He didn’t get into AA for about two years after that, but he did. My dad died a few years ago. At the time of his death, he had been sober for almost 30 years and in AA for almost 28 years. Because of that, and because of his push, I’m talking to you. If he hadn’t had me go to that group and hadn’t had me meet Renee, the social worker, I would have never even known what to expect, and what to understand about grief. Renee, after a while, asked me to start volunteering with the Children’s Program. Slow down. We need to circle back a little bit. Growing up with a father, your mom passed. Was your dad an alcoholic before your mom died? Yes, for my entire childhood. That’s something to grieve along with everything else. Absolutely. When I talked with my sisters about it, they were 7 and 9 years older. The oldest has the most memories. My mom sheltered me a lot. I was still young enough that I didn’t realize what it was all. There were some memories that I’ve worked on in therapy. I’m grateful I have because they were difficult and hard. Especially the last Christmas with my mom. My dad was drunk. There was a situation with the Christmas tree. It was something that always eat and bothered me. When I got trained to EMDR, I was like, “I’m going to work on this memory,” and I did. I’m grateful I did that work because I was able to have a very different relationship with my dad because of doing that. Thank you. You mentioned EMDR. Can you share a little bit? I don’t want to make an assumption that everyone reading knows different acronyms, modalities and things. I want to always make sure we slow down and unpack. Reprocessing Traumatic Death Scenes With Clinical Modalities EMDR is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It’s like the gold standard of trauma therapy. It’s been around since the early 1990s. Francine Shapiro developed it. It uses bilateral

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Grief Is Not Linear: Jackie Disch On Love, Loss & Living With Grief

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Jackie Disch | Grief

  Grief isn’t a destination you arrive at; it’s a companion that changes alongside you. If you’ve felt the weight of loss, you know that the journey is rarely a straight line—it is complex, unpredictable, and deeply personal. In this moving conversation, author Jackie Disch joins us to discuss her powerful memoir, Losing Katy: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Living Grief. Together, we explore the raw, beautiful, and non-linear reality of losing her wife, Katy. Jackie introduces the concept of “living grief”—a framework that invites us to move beyond the pressure to “get over it” and instead learn how to integrate our loss into our daily lives. From the exhaustion of the early days to the shifting tides of memory and the importance of creating quiet spaces for healing, Jackie’s reflections offer a gentle, manageable path forward for anyone navigating the depths of sorrow. Whether you are in the early stages of widowhood or years into your journey, this episode is an invitation to honor your love while navigating the complexities of life after loss. Join us as we explore how to find authentic connection and quiet strength even when life feels overwhelming. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.   Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here

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How To Give Yourself The Permission To Live After Loss With Kelley Raleigh

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kelley Raleigh | Permission To Live

  Giving yourself permission to live again after loss can feel unfamiliar and even uncomfortable, and in this conversation with Kelley Raleigh, that tension is explored with honesty, depth, and care. Kelley reflects on becoming a widow at 46 and the disorienting experience of grieving a life that changed in an instant while still choosing to move forward. Her story moves through identity shifts, evolving relationships, and the deeply personal choices that come with rebuilding, including moments that felt messy, unexpected, and real. What unfolds is a thoughtful reflection on grief that makes space for both sorrow and growth, gently challenging the belief that there is only one way to mourn. Through her lived experience, Kelley offers a grounded reminder that even in the midst of profound loss, it is possible to reconnect with yourself and begin shaping a life that still feels meaningful. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   How To Give Yourself The Permission To Live After Loss With Kelley Raleigh Thank you for every episode that you’ve tuned into over the years. I want to tell you that I am inviting you personally to join me for Hope Grows Here on May 16, 2026, in Norfolk, Virginia. We are celebrating my 60th birthday, and we’re celebrating Widowhood. This is an opportunity for us all to get together and celebrate. Dancing, comedians, photo booths, and so much more fun. Did I mention it’s a ‘60s costume? I hope to see you there. For details, email me at WidowhoodRealTalk@gmail.com. ‐‐‐ Have you ever wondered what life would look like if you gave yourself permission to make change, or if you gave yourself permission to grieve and also laugh? This conversation with Kelley is going to challenge you and probably give you permission to live a life that you enjoy. Let’s get into this conversation.     Kelley, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. I’m so happy to be here. A Clean Slate At Forty-Six If I were to look at the ticker tape in your head, which is like, “Thank you. Welcome to the Widowhood,” what’s the backdrop when you think of that? I go to the label of a widow. I still feel like I’m 30. Old people are widows in their 80s. Not people our age. It makes me chuckle a little bit. It makes me like, “I guess that’s me.” That’s what I think. That’s fair. Age is relevant in this community. Do you mind sharing when you entered into the Widowhood? I was 46. It’ll be 5 years in May 2026. I was 46, and he was about to turn 52. He was two weeks away from turning 52. What is his name? Can you share with us? His name was Eric. A lot of things I hear people talk about in this experience is that they’re not the same person. When you hear that, what do you think now compared to that moment when Eric left this world? I said this not long ago to somebody. It feels like it was a week ago and 100 years ago. It’s still a bit discombobulating sometimes. I’m a vastly different person, and I’ve been a vastly different person probably three different times in the last couple of years. I was a stay-at-home mom when he died. That was a completely different project for me because I’ve always worked. I’ve always been the go-getter. I’ve always been the type A, and then I was a stay-at-home mom with my kid. That shifted me. I wanted to shift when we were towards the last year of our marriage, and then he died. It dawned on me that I can be however I want. It was almost like a clean slate in a lot of ways. I’d been doing personal growth work for many years. It wasn’t new to me to be like, “I know I need to date and rise from the Phoenix,” as much as I didn’t want to. I feel like I’ve been a handful of different people. I’ve tried things. I’m going to say my dark side, but my dark side is not a dark side. I even embraced some things that I thought I would never do. I got to leave it at that. We’re not. This is called real talk. You don’t get to go, “I did some things.” We’re going to need 2 or 3 of those things. We need to know if it was a little fire. Let me go get my tea cup because you need to talk. Come on. Widow Fire And Social Permission It was taking risks with money, number one, which is not that juicy. Number two was with men. It was dating men that I would never date before. Even taking a lover and not having any expectations, and doing that. I have been in a relationship since I was fourteen. Relationship, then relationship, then marriage, and then I got a divorce, which was amicable. I was with Eric for seventeen years. She’s over here blushing. She’s like, “I didn’t know we were going to go this way.” For the women who are reading this and are going, “The widow fire is real.” Some people feel shame. Some people feel like, “I was a good wife, and I loved my husband.” Can they both exist? Can you talk to them about that? Yes. To give context, every single relationship I was in, I was completely faithful. I never once had that like, “I need to go have an affair.” Nothing like that. I embraced

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Remembering Who You Were To Me Before You Became A Memory With Dr. Tina Fornwald

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Dr. Tina Fornwald | Remembering

  How do you hold the expansive story of a life when all people want to ask about is the ending? Dr. Tina Fornwald dedicates the month of March to remembering the whole person in grief, honoring her late husband, Mark Fornwald, nine years after his passing. In this raw and deeply personal conversation, she speaks directly to Mark, allowing listeners into a 32-year love that shaped her into the woman she is today—a relationship built on mutual strength, laughter, and raising their two children. She shares cherished, untold memories and explains why choosing to continue loving and living with his presence is more important than finding resolution. This is an invitation to witness a love that continues out loud and know you are not alone in your own journey. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Remembering Who You Were To Me Before You Became A Memory With Dr. Tina Fornwald A Love Story Continues Out Loud: March Dedication Before we begin, I want to name what this month is. For March, I am dedicating this show to my late husband, Mark Fornwald. Years ago, on March 11th, 2017, my life changed forever when he left this world. Rather than letting that date pass quietly or privately, I’ve chosen to honor him, my grief, and my love here in this space across March. This is going to feel a little different than my usual episodes. Some of what you’ll read this month will be spoken directly to Mark. Some of it will be spoken to you. Sometimes, you’ll simply be reading as love continues out loud. I’m not here this month to teach grief, analyze it, or package it into something tidy. I’m here to honor a relationship, what remains after loss, how love changes and shapes, and how we become when someone we love is no longer physically here.    Reclaiming His Story: How People Talk About Mark Now If this is your first time tuning in, you don’t need to catch up or prepare. You’re welcome to tune in quietly, emotionally, or in pieces. There was no right way to be here. Mark, I’m talking to you, allowing others to read along. My first question, Mark, do you know how people talk about you now? They talk about you as my late husband, this man that I loved in person for 32 years, and the man who is no longer here. They talk about you as Tina’s late husband and Catherine and Alexander’s dad, who has died. They talk about you as the man who was a great hunter, the man who is the inspiration for that tattoo on my right thigh, the man who has taught me how to love, and the man who is the inspiration for Widowhood Real Talk with Tina, a nonprofit that I started to support other people who are grieving. People talk about you and laugh. Kim and Lionel have a joke about when they’re in their house, and they pull out a chair, and they find it, they say, “Mark left it there.” Kim and Lionel are my children’s godparents. Mark stayed with them one time when he was traveling for work. He would always leave the chair out. He would never scoot it underneath the table. To this day, Kim and Lionel will say, “Mark, did you do that?” because that means that one of them left the chair out. Those are some of the ways that people talk about you, my love. Beyond The Ending: Honoring How He Lived, Not How He Died Do you know how often you are remembered through the lenses of how you died, not how you lived? People I will meet, Mark, will say, “He died?” Instantly, they will ask how you died. I go into the long story about how I was supposed to have a work trip, but then I felt God pressing me not to go. I called you and asked you, “Did you want to get together?” You said yes because we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of months. We got together, and we got lost. We went to the movies. You had Chinese food for your last dinner. In my mind, I was thinking, “I know he wishes he had had steak and potatoes.” I can envision you. I’m telling them this long story. The next day, you weren’t feeling well. You went to have breakfast, and then you had a heart attack in our hotel room and never got up from that. I was at the end of the hallway, screaming into the phone to my sister and saying, “I love you. How can you no longer? How can this be? How is this possible?” That’s the thing that people want to know. Not how you were an amazing husband and not the things that you did, but how you died. I don’t know the fascination or curiosity. I do it myself. I ask people, “How did they pass?” I guess it’s something we do, but when I’m having this conversation with you and looking at these questions, it seems irrelevant. You died, and that is the most important part. 32 Years Of Love: Who You Were To Me Before Grief Entered The Room Do you know who you were to me before grief entered the room? I remember after you passed, Mark, and asking the kids, “Do you think Daddy knows how much I loved him?” In my mind, I wanted to know the answer was that you knew, but I wasn’t 1000% certain. I want you to

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Healing The Shattered Soul: Your Journey Through Grief Transformation with Julie Halbert

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Julie Halbert | Grief Transformation

  Moving through the unimaginable pain of loss is the beginning of a profound grief transformation and conscious new life. Tina Fornwald sits down with Julie Halbert, a Transformational Soul Coach, Death Doula, and former lawyer, to explore the powerful journey from victimhood to light, discussing her upcoming book, Divine Ashes Ascending. They speak the raw truth about the guttural reality of grief, the importance of building community, and how spiritual practice can move us from mere survival to a state of being and profound peace. Julie also sheds light on the often-overlooked emotional needs of grieving sons and the crucial role of the 504 plan in providing accommodations for children in school. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Healing The Shattered Soul: Your Journey Through Grief Transformation with Julie Halbert Oftentimes, the children who have lost the parents, going back to school is not easy, but a 504 plan can help them. This conversation with Julie is going to give you very detailed information on how to execute a 504 plan for your child. At the same time, have you been curious about the term death doula or transformation soul coach? This conversation’s going to give you insight to that too. Julie and I have some things that are very similar to the passing of our husbands that I did not know until this conversation. Let’s get into this discussion now. It’s going to bless your soul.       Julie, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you for having me, Tina. I’m happy to be here. Redefining Widowhood: Finding Transformation Through Grief Thank you. Happy to be in the widowhood. If you were to like the subtitles that was not shown, what would that look like when you hear the word widowhood the first time? You’re asking me a very big question and I’m glad that we’re starting here. Okay, so I’m with you. I practiced law for 30 years. When Jim died, which was December 6th, 2018, and I’d like to honor his birthday, October 24th. I wanted to honor doing this with you and honor his birthday. Just calling in the energy of his spirit to be with us and just being present in a beautiful way. My first experience with the word widow, I was at literally at the OBGYN and I guess at that point in time, the GYN for myself. I remember seeing it on the form and I started to cry and I was like, “This word does not sit well with me.” It’s very interesting. Jim died at 51 and I was 50 and I just didn’t identify with it. I didn’t identify with the word and the language. As I was preparing for you, I said, “I don’t know how Tina’s going to feel about this.” I really was doing a lot of research into the root of the word, the historical patriarchy, where it came from, the whole idea of being bereft and empty and lost. I really have taken it to a place of transformation. I was playing with a new word. Actually, luminara, and being the whole idea of like yes, we have this deep painful loss and we all are shattered in the space of it in different ways in our grief. It’s so real and it’s so painful. I guess the question is how do we go through it? You said a lot there, and I almost could throw away all my questions here, but I’m just going to pause. My husband Mark was 51 when he passed. I was 50 when Mark passed. Mark passed in 2017. I think as the concept of a death doula, ushering people through their loved ones and then those remaining through this transition process, there is a lot of illumination that happens. Our society, I believe, has made death such a horrible, dark, unwanting instead of welcoming the process of the transition of life that is inevitable. If we go into it afraid and scared, that’s not a good way to go into the next version of our life. I miss Mark dearly. I happen to wear his gym shoes because we wore the same size shoe, but at the same time, I’ve come into a place that I know his life, his journey was over. Mine continues. There’s a difference with that that I think requires someone to a spark of light because we are so alienated from the idea what good could ever come from this. I’m with you 1,000%. I could echo every single word that you said. First off, I just want to honor that we were both 50 and 51. I find that intriguing. I think we should just honor that as a factual truth. They’re always with us. We carry them with us everywhere. It’s like their journey was over and I think they continue with us in our journey. You are doing amazing work with the work you’re doing with widows and others and children and just amazing giving back. For me, I do believe, as a Death Doula, we have this sacred breath at the end of life and that it should be celebrated the same way we celebrate the sacred breath at birth. We do so much around birthdays, but we don’t honor that sacred final breath. Our society avoids and denies it. I’m with you. It’s a problem. It is. Thank you. The work that I do is, one, to normalize the thing that we’ve been doing since the beginning of time. How dare we have been a spouse to someone and they

Healing The Shattered Soul: Your Journey Through Grief Transformation with Julie Halbert Read More »

Grief As A Stepping Stone: How To Start Rebuilding Yourself After Life Falls Apart With Arthur J. Rutledge

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Arthur J. Rutledge | Rebuild After Grief

  Rebuilding yourself after life falls apart is a challenging, yet necessary, journey, especially when navigating grief during the holiday season and facing self-doubt. Arthur J. Rutledge, a servant leader, speaker, and author of 11 Pillars of Confidence: Build & Lead an Empowered YOU, shares his profound personal experiences with loss—from his pet to close family—and offers constructive steps to consciously move toward the light. He discusses the power of “stringing” good memories to work through the darkness, the importance of forgiving the unspoken, and how overcoming “low-frequency ideas” like shame and blame is crucial to becoming the ‘Victor versus the victim’ in your own life story. Arthur emphasizes that strengthening the trifecta of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-value is key to seeing grief not as a tombstone, but as a stepping stone to a renewed life. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here     Grief As A Stepping Stone: How To Start Rebuilding Yourself After Life Falls Apart With Arthur J. Rutledge Voices Of Widowhood Healing Through The Holidays Has grief impacted your confidence? Has grief taken away your self-worth, your self-value, your self-esteem? If so, this conversation with Arthur is just for you. Let’s get into this conversation now.       Arthur, welcome to the Widowhood. I’m happy to be here. Thank you for having me.  I always ask people like, “Welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you for having me,” is that the ticker tape? If we were to see the invisible ticker tape in your mind, what would that look like? I’m an avid servant leader. The first thing I learned as I’m going through my life is to always edify the person before you edify yourself. I always want to give it back, and I’ve made that the precursor to all the things that I’ve added up to the successes that I’ve obtained in my life so far. Just that little piece, just letting that person know that they’re seen and they’re valued in my eyes. That appreciation always gets received. At least I believe it gets received well, and it just opens the vulnerability, the trust up between the two that’s, or a room of people who are looking for what that can be for them. That’s the long of it. Servant Leader In Action: How To Live With Integrity And Kindness Actually, I want to dive in and be a little bit more specific. The servant leader, the giving back. How do those show up in actions? A lot of times, we use these words to become buzzwords, but how does that show up in your everyday? I always say leadership is just a big word for us leading ourselves. The hardest thing that any leader will ever tell you are the ones who are being truly honest is that process. It is very easy to give instructions or tell somebody how to go about, how they should live, where they should go, how they can be or should be. It’s always best shown by emulating what that looks like by the actions. If I’m being a good person to myself, if I’m being kind to myself, if I’m being a person of integrity with myself, if I’m following through on the things that I see for myself and I want for myself, and I’m living that every day. If I’m telling someone one thing, and then the next day I’m waking up to a smile on my face, which I’m always telling people to get that going, and their chemical imbalance that might be there to start their day or hugging themselves or taking deep, long breaths to step into who they are, and what they’re becoming, then that’s going to, like I said, trickle forward. It’s going to echo in a way that’s what’s being expected of me. If I can give what I’m expecting out of myself, then the other person can receive that on their side and say, “This is the formula to have that smile, to have that good frequency, to have that good energy.” I’m a God-fearing person. At the end of the day, God says, “Put this in your space.” A person who is good at following and serving leader means that for me you can’t be a good leader if you’re not a good follower first. Jesus, and my Lord and Savior and God, and or whatever that looks like for people who are stepping into, I emulate in a good way, in a good, healthy, kind, generous, respectful, loyal noble type of way. We are all kings and queens, so that’s the same thing that I think people can expect from themselves at the end of the day. I don’t think it’s one without the other. I always tell people the first learning prowess, the first way we step into learning is imitation. Now we don’t have to follow people the same way we did from a young age, but to get good at that is the foundation for critical and creative thinking, standing on our own two feet and being able to give that back. Paying forward what we’re able to give lets us understand that we are interdependent in a world that maybe doesn’t make us feel like we are such at, at different points in our lives. Navigating Grief & The Holidays: Finding Your Way Through Loss Speaking of those different points of being in our lives, this conversation around widowhood, grieving holidays, once I was that person. I was this man who showed up in life that way. Now I feel that grief has taken that

Grief As A Stepping Stone: How To Start Rebuilding Yourself After Life Falls Apart With Arthur J. Rutledge Read More »

Crying + Trying: The Messy, Honest Work Of Healing After Heartbreak With Kim Murray

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kim Murray | Crying Trying

  Grief doesn’t follow rules, timelines, or tidy emotional stages, and Kim Murray knows that deeply. A young widow at forty-four with two children, Kim learned firsthand how confusing, exhausting, and disorienting life becomes when the world keeps moving but yours stops. She opens up about the early days of widowhood, parenting through grief, the pressure to keep traditions alive, the weight of other people’s expectations, and the process of learning to honor both sadness and joy. Kim also shares practical wisdom around boundaries, emotional permission, navigating finances during grief, and the mindset shift that helped her believe she was still allowed to live, love, and build a future. Through honesty, humor, and vulnerability, this conversation reminds widows they are not broken, they are not alone, and there is no “right way” to grieve — only the next step forward. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   Crying + Trying: The Messy, Honest Work Of Healing After Heartbreak With Kim Murray Voices Of Widowhood Healing Through The Holiday Welcome to Voices of Widowhood, Healing Through the Holidays. Our guest, Kim Murray, is going to talk about boundaries, confidence, and bad financial choices during the holidays. Let us get into this conversation now.     Kim, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you, Tina. I am so happy to be here with you. When you think of “Welcome to the Widowhood,” you think, “Thank you.” Thanks for having me. I am so excited to be here. Don’t you hear that all the time? I am so excited to be here. I know, but the circumstances, though. It is a weird circumstance, but I am happy to talk to you. I am excited to talk to you, not because of the reasons that brought us together, but because of the topic. That is the sense of this widow community at large. It is often said that the club that nobody wants to belong to, but the people are amazing. They are very good people. I want to say thank you for being part of this mini series, Voices of Widowhood Healing Through the Holidays, because you and I understand from our own unique perspective that holidays can be trash. It is extremely difficult. Anybody tuning in, if you are going through a hard time over the holidays, it is normal. We have all been there. Widow 411: From Young Widow To Resource Hub Founder When you talk about being there, Kim, if you can share a little bit about Widow 411 and why you started that, and just your place in doing that. I was obviously widowed in 2014. I was a young widow. I was 44 years old. My kids were 8 and 10. I ended up being a widow and a solo parent all at once. It was a very complicated, confusing, stressful, overwhelming time. I know that I had a hard time getting through a lot of those early days of widowhood. I assume that most widows go through the same experiences. I really wanted to start Widow 411. It is a resource hub for widows to talk to other people and say, “I have been where you are. Here is what I learned in the process.” That is really what started the whole website and resource hub for me, was just wanting to let other widows know that it is going to be okay. It is hard in the beginning, but it is going to be okay. We are going to help you get there. That is really the reason why I wanted to get through my own grief at the same time, helping other people. It was a win-win situation for me. How has that changed over the years, from the website you started to what it has evolved to now? It’s evolved to, and tremendous resource for one thing, but I can see my own stages through grief starting from the beginning, and to where I am now. I am eleven years out of widowhood. I am actually a remarried widow now. I have another husband experience. I have owned businesses. I have raised my kids. They are adults now. There have been a lot of changes through the years. Grief never goes away. I just want to make that clear that you do not reach some point where you are never grieving anymore. You remarried, you are over that. You move on, you get over it, and everything is fine. It does not happen that way. We all know that. I just like to try to be realistic with other widows and say like, “I still have my moments.” Eleven years later, I still have my moments. I am still brought to my knees. I still cry. Even though I am remarried, my husband and I still talk about my deceased husband. That never goes away. You just learn to make room for it. Over the years, I have seen how different phases of widowhood evolve, and how it goes from being, “I will never be happy again. My life is over, too.” I can make some changes and make some decisions in my life that make it better for me. You just get out of that dark cloud after the first couple of years. I am not saying there is a specific timeframe for people. The Mindset Shift: Their Life Ended, Not Mine Thank you for the idea that it does change. I would dare say it is not just a lapse in time. It is what you do during that process. I would say that if I stay

Crying + Trying: The Messy, Honest Work Of Healing After Heartbreak With Kim Murray Read More »

The Grief 2 Growth Journey: Finding Meaning After The Unimaginable With Brian D. Smith

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Brian D. Smith | Grief 2 Growth

  The emotional turmoil of loss requires more than just time; it demands the intentional “work” of navigating grief. Certified grief educator and certified life coach Brian D. Smith, host of the Grief 2 Growth podcast, joins the conversation to share how he transformed his own pain after the sudden loss of his daughter, Shayna, into a calling to help others. Brian details his practical GEMS method—Gratitude, Exercise, Mindfulness, and Self-care—as a foundational daily practice for healing and discusses why the expectation of happiness during the holidays can be so difficult, the power of forgiveness to release emotional ties, and how to offer genuine support to those who are grieving without unintentionally minimizing their experience. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   The Grief 2 Growth Journey: Finding Meaning After The Unimaginable With Brian D. Smith Voices Of Widowhood Healing Through The Holiday Welcome to the special series of Voices of Widowhood: Healing Through the Holidays, a space where we share honest and healing conversations about love, loss, and the unique challenges the holiday seasons bring. I’m honored to welcome our very first guest in this series, Brian Smith. Brian is going to share with you some interesting ideas about GEMS, moving forward versus moving on, and things to say and not to say to people who are grieving. For those who are holding space for others who are grieving, he has special tips for you on how to support someone who is grieving during the holidays. Let’s get into this conversation now.     Hello, Brian, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you. It’s good to be here. When you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” what ticker tape runs across your mind when you hear a statement like that? It’s weird. In my work, I’ve been running across a lot of widows lately, a lot of people who have lost their spouses. It’s men and women, but mostly women. It’s different for me now than a few months ago. At the age that I am now, a lot of people are losing their spouses. It has become fairly common in my life. Brian D. Smith’s Essential Grief Work: Navigating Loss & Shayna’s Story Speaking of the work, before we dive into this rich and meaningful conversation, I would like to allow you to introduce yourself and to share the work that you do, how you serve those navigating in grief, and why your work is such an essential part of this conversation. Brian, thank you so much for joining me in taking these moments to share with our readers who you are and the heartfelt meaning behind your work. Thank you. What I do is I try to help people navigate loss in life, particularly the loss of a person. My story is that my daughter Shayna passed away suddenly at age fifteen. It was June 24, 2015. My personal experience with loss made me dive deep, do this work for myself, and find things that worked for me. I thought after a few years of doing that, after probably four or five years into my journey, maybe I could help somebody else. There were people who inspired me early in my journey and helped me get to where I finally got. I wanted to be able to help people get there. I work a lot with parents who have lost children. I’m part of an organization called Helping Parents Heal. I’m on the board with Helping Parents Heal. We’ve been doing that and working with parents for about nine years or so. I became a certified grief educator and certified life coach several years ago. My work is expanding now, working with people who have lost spouses, parents, and pets. Grief is not just a matter of losing a person. They could be losing a job. It could be getting a divorce. There are lots of different things that can trigger grief events. What I try to do is help people. What do I do? How do I navigate this? You feel like your life is over. How do I continue my life? How do I honor my loved one? How do I honor the pain that I’m going through, but also maybe transform this in a certain way? What I try to do is help people get to that point. The Effort Of Healing & “Grief 2 Growth” Podcast Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for sharing about Shayna. We may share our story every day. It may sound like rote to people. I believe there’s still a little bit of a price to pay when we share about them. We may have learned how to manage that grief. It’s not just a carefree conversation that our emotions and who we are are not connected to. What would you say to that statement? Yes, absolutely true. It’s interesting because I do a lot of podcasts. I have my own podcast, but I also do a lot of speaking events and stuff. People might think, “Ten years. He’s over it. He has moved on. He’s passed it.” That’s not true. I believe that the grief always stays with us. It might change in form. It might affect us differently, but I will always miss my daughter. It’s still the tenth anniversary that came up. Those anniversaries, birthdays, etc., still hit hard. I appreciate you saying that this is not something like it’s over, it’s past, and we move on. I don’t think we ever do that. I know that I won’t. As long as I love my daughter, which I always will,

The Grief 2 Growth Journey: Finding Meaning After The Unimaginable With Brian D. Smith Read More »

Widowhood Secret Santa Program Application

Step 1 of 2

Bringing Joy & Support to Widowed Families

This application is open to all widows and widowers with children between the ages of newborn to 18 years old. Special needs children over the Age of 18 are also eligible.

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Child(ren) Information

Do you have a special needs child over the Age of 18?(Required)
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Child's Name
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Please share a little about your situation, what this program would mean to you, and any special circumstances.
What Type of Support Would Be Most Helpful?(Required)
  • All gifts will be handled through your Amazon Wish List link.
  • A completed consent form must be submitted for consideration with this application.
  • Nominations will be announced on September 1st.

Walk For Love 2025

Support grief awareness and Walk For Love in style. Proceeds help fund free grief support programs. Merchandise is available now, with new batches printing every 15 days — so order early to ensure you receive your items before the August kickoff on August 3,  2025

🛍️ How It Works

- Order anytime — Bonfire prints new merchandise every 15 days

- First shipping window: Orders placed by July 11 ship between July 1–11

- All items ship directly from Bonfire

- Order early to wear your gear for Walk For Love in August!

👕 Apparel – T-Shirts, Sweatshirts & Hoodies

🛒 Order here: https://www.bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-1

💲 Price: $23–$42

📏 Sizes: Youth to 3XL

Over 20 different colors

📝 Notebook

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-notebook-1

💲 Price: $22.99

Great for journaling, writing affirmations, or gift-giving.

☕ Mug

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-mug

💲 Price: $19.99

Sip your morning coffee with a message of love and remembrance.

🚶‍♀️ Travel Mug

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-travel-mug-1

💲 Price: $24.99

Keep your drinks hot or cold while walking for love.

💧 Water Bottle

🛒 Order here: https://bonfire.com/walk-for-love-2025-water-bottle-2

💲 Price: $29.99

Hydration meets heart — perfect for walkers everywhere.

📣 Additional Notes

At checkout, encourage shoppers to select your board member's name from the referral dropdown to help us track outreach.

Use and promote hashtags: #WFL2025 and #WRTWT

Perfect for walking during the event or repping all year long.

Mental Health Walkathon to provide encouragement and inspiration for the grieving struggling with depression and isolation.

During the Walkathon, we walk together, united in our mission to support mental health. From August 3 - 9, 2025 we encourage you to walk one mile daily. Share your journey by posting a picture on your favorite social media platform with #WRTWT #WALKFORLOVE, and let’s inspire others to join us.

Funds from the Walkathon will allow Widowhood Real Talk With Tina to conduct an Annual Grief Garden and a Butterfly release ceremony and provide participants journals & pens.

Three ways to participate

Purchase merchandise ~ In Development

Donate: https://app.99pledges.com/fund/walkforlov

Make your pledge, 1-mile daily day August 4 – 10, and post #WRTWT #WALKFORLOVE: https://app.99pledges.com/fund/walkforlov

To Start your pledge team, email widowhoodrealtalk@gmail.com for details.

Register on Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1223004923649?aff=oddtdtcreator