Giving yourself permission to live again after loss can feel unfamiliar and even uncomfortable, and in this conversation with Kelley Raleigh, that tension is explored with honesty, depth, and care. Kelley reflects on becoming a widow at 46 and the disorienting experience of grieving a life that changed in an instant while still choosing to move forward. Her story moves through identity shifts, evolving relationships, and the deeply personal choices that come with rebuilding, including moments that felt messy, unexpected, and real. What unfolds is a thoughtful reflection on grief that makes space for both sorrow and growth, gently challenging the belief that there is only one way to mourn. Through her lived experience, Kelley offers a grounded reminder that even in the midst of profound loss, it is possible to reconnect with yourself and begin shaping a life that still feels meaningful. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others.  Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here   Listen to the podcast here   How To Give Yourself The Permission To Live After Loss With Kelley Raleigh Thank you for every episode that you’ve tuned into over the years. I want to tell you that I am inviting you personally to join me for Hope Grows Here on May 16, 2026, in Norfolk, Virginia. We are celebrating my 60th birthday, and we’re celebrating Widowhood. This is an opportunity for us all to get together and celebrate. Dancing, comedians, photo booths, and so much more fun. Did I mention it’s a ‘60s costume? I hope to see you there. For details, email me at WidowhoodRealTalk@gmail.com. ‐‐‐ Have you ever wondered what life would look like if you gave yourself permission to make change, or if you gave yourself permission to grieve and also laugh? This conversation with Kelley is going to challenge you and probably give you permission to live a life that you enjoy. Let’s get into this conversation.     Kelley, welcome to the Widowhood. Thank you so much for having me. I’m so happy to be here. A Clean Slate At Forty-Six If I were to look at the ticker tape in your head, which is like, “Thank you. Welcome to the Widowhood,” what’s the backdrop when you think of that? I go to the label of a widow. I still feel like I’m 30. Old people are widows in their 80s. Not people our age. It makes me chuckle a little bit. It makes me like, “I guess that’s me.” That’s what I think. That’s fair. Age is relevant in this community. Do you mind sharing when you entered into the Widowhood? I was 46. It’ll be 5 years in May 2026. I was 46, and he was about to turn 52. He was two weeks away from turning 52. What is his name? Can you share with us? His name was Eric. A lot of things I hear people talk about in this experience is that they’re not the same person. When you hear that, what do you think now compared to that moment when Eric left this world? I said this not long ago to somebody. It feels like it was a week ago and 100 years ago. It’s still a bit discombobulating sometimes. I’m a vastly different person, and I’ve been a vastly different person probably three different times in the last couple of years. I was a stay-at-home mom when he died. That was a completely different project for me because I’ve always worked. I’ve always been the go-getter. I’ve always been the type A, and then I was a stay-at-home mom with my kid. That shifted me. I wanted to shift when we were towards the last year of our marriage, and then he died. It dawned on me that I can be however I want. It was almost like a clean slate in a lot of ways. I’d been doing personal growth work for many years. It wasn’t new to me to be like, “I know I need to date and rise from the Phoenix,” as much as I didn’t want to. I feel like I’ve been a handful of different people. I’ve tried things. I’m going to say my dark side, but my dark side is not a dark side. I even embraced some things that I thought I would never do. I got to leave it at that. We’re not. This is called real talk. You don’t get to go, “I did some things.” We’re going to need 2 or 3 of those things. We need to know if it was a little fire. Let me go get my tea cup because you need to talk. Come on. Widow Fire And Social Permission It was taking risks with money, number one, which is not that juicy. Number two was with men. It was dating men that I would never date before. Even taking a lover and not having any expectations, and doing that. I have been in a relationship since I was fourteen. Relationship, then relationship, then marriage, and then I got a divorce, which was amicable. I was with Eric for seventeen years. She’s over here blushing. She’s like, “I didn’t know we were going to go this way.” For the women who are reading this and are going, “The widow fire is real.” Some people feel shame. Some people feel like, “I was a good wife, and I loved my husband.” Can they both exist? Can you talk to them about that? Yes. To give context, every single relationship I was in, I was completely faithful. I never once had that like, “I need to go have an affair.” Nothing like that. I embraced