mental health Archives - Widowhood Real Talk with Dr. Tina

Dealing With Her Husband’s Suicide With Erin Carlson

Podcast / October 2, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Erin Carlson | Suicide

What do you do when you lose your husband to suicide? How do you live with it every single day, and how do you talk about it with other people? I sit down with Erin Carlson, who shares how she became a widow at 36 and was left with three children after her husband committed suicide. Now in her eighth year of widowhood just like me, she explains how she breaks the stigma around suicide and why conversations around it must never be shunned. Erin also emphasizes why those in law enforcement need proper mental health support, remembering the legacy of her husband who was once part of the police force. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Dealing With Her Husband’s Suicide With Erin Carlson What do you do when you’re widowed at 36 with three children? What do you do when suicide is awkward to talk about, but that’s your situation? My conversation with Erin is going to give you answers to that question and more. Let’s get into the discussion. Erin is here to share and help you know that you are not alone, and that the way you became a widow matters. Hello, Erin. Welcome to the widowhood. Thank you, Tina. Really, thank you? What goes through your mind when you hear, “Welcome to the widowhood?” Yes, thank you. That’s what I want to hear. What is the ticker tape in your mind when you hear something like that? I heard you ask this question before. I definitely thought of my response. I think someone else said it. It’s like the club that you don’t want to be a part of, but for whatever reason, you end up part of it. Do you feel like you can ever be honest about not wanting to be part of that club? Yes. In what spaces? Someone who has gone through it before, like you, like here, and people that I let in and that know me. That brings an interesting question because sometimes, the people who knew us with our spouse may not be the people who get let in. What does that look like, the people who let you in versus the ones who don’t? There’s a certain level of my story that I tell people, and then there’s a certain deeper level that I tell other people, like my friends who have gone through it and fellow widows. Even if they haven’t friends that I’ve made friends in recent years, there’s so much to being a widow and what I went through. I know we haven’t even gotten there yet, but since it was a suicide death, it changes things. Some people don’t want to hear it, or they can’t handle it, so I have to be careful. Thank you. Your husband’s name, Erin? Drew. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for trusting me that this is a safe space. Obviously, you’ve listened to some other conversations. You know my intentions for why we do this. Do you feel like it’s helpful to be in a place where you can share your story and not have to hold back? Yes. It’s helpful for me to have that opportunity in that space. It’s helpful for others because one of the stories that I listened to was about someone very similar to me. When we had talked about this opportunity for me to do this here, I went back and forth. Once I heard that story, I thought I should do this so that the next person coming along, if they happen to experience it, they know they’re not alone. It is because there are so many feelings that come up with it. It is. You’re absolutely right. Oftentimes, we want to know we’re not alone, but it seems difficult to connect. It seems difficult to be transparent and make your situation available. You’re right. I also say this, no matter how your spouse passed, people want to go, “How did they die?” It’s like, “How are you doing?” You’re asking me that question. I have a topical response. “Somebody passed,” versus the somebody who wants the details, and I want to share my story. I hear that’s what you were saying. Is that similar? Am I understanding? You’re right. How Erin Met Her Husband How did you meet Drew? He was a police officer. When he passed, he was a Sergeant in Danbury. All he ever wanted to do was become a Sergeant in Danbury. In order to get there, he had to start in a very small town. That was in New Fairfield. That’s where I’m from. I started working as a dispatcher there. I was involved in the fire department. I was an EMT. I started as a dispatcher, and I loved it. He was one of the officers there, and I met him. Did you hear his voice and go, “Okay, Daddy,” or did you see him? How was the connection? Were you listening and going, “Okay, Officer.” Honestly, I loved his voice, but it was when he came in and introduced himself. They would introduce themselves to the new dispatcher. His hands were so soft. He said he had never worked a day in his life. That was his comeback, too, which was so funny because it’s so not true. He always worked. His eyes were blue. He had his hat on. He was so handsome. He called me ma’am. He was very respectful, always. You meet him there. How does it shift to, “Are we going out?” Does he ask you as a group?

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Grief Almost Had Me: The Journey Of Finding Peace And Strength With Kimberly Byers

Podcast / February 27, 2025

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Kimberly Byers | Grief

Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and healing isn’t linear. In this episode, Tina Fornwald sits down with Kimberly Byers, author of Grief Almost Had Me! Peace Brought Me Out, to explore the realities of widowhood, loss, and the power of community in healing. Kimberly shares her personal story of navigating grief, why she believes widowhood should feel like a sisterhood instead of isolation, and how self-care plays a crucial role in the healing process. She also discusses her faith, the importance of journaling, and how her books provide a step-by-step approach to moving forward after loss. If you’re struggling with grief or know someone who is, this conversation is a powerful reminder that peace is possible, even after loss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: Psychology Today Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Grief Almost Had Me: The Journey Of Finding Peace And Strength With Kimberly Byers Kimberly, welcome to the Widowhood. Good afternoon, good day, and good evening, Ms. Tina. When you hear, “Welcome to the Widowhood,” what comes to mind for you? What Widowhood Really Means And Finding Support For me, I’m thinking what is going on with widows today? How can all the widows come together and be a community? I think of widowhood as a neighborhood, sisterhood, or brotherhood. We are going through something together collectively. What would that collective environment do for a widow? If a widow is tuning in to this conversation and she goes, “I want to be by myself. I’m not trying to talk to anybody. This is hot trash, and why would I want to get connected with you or any other widows?” Why? I would say that that widow or that widower would need to listen in, relax a little bit, and know that when you are in something like this for however long, you are in a safe place. One of the things I would say is grief is not a time thing. You are in a safe place. Let’s talk about it. How can we relate? How can I support you in what you are going through right now? When you say “Support you,” that word can have a lot of different meanings in different spaces. What does support look like when you speak of those words? When I speak about support, I’m speaking from a place where I would say I’m going to be able to relate to what you are going through. When I say support, talk to me. I’m open to listening to you. A lot of times when you are talking to individuals, they are not actively listening. I want to be able to actively listen to you and then make sure that I understand what you said by repeating back. Not verbatim, but I want to highlight some of the things that you said for me to be able to support you going forward. When I talk about the support, what did you highlight? For instance, if someone says, “I feel like I don’t have any time to do anything for myself anymore, even though it’s just me, but I’m doing everything still. I’m still taking care of the kids, I’m still working, I’m still cooking, I’m still helping with homework, and all these things. How can I do something for myself?” I want to help them to understand that self-care is so important. You have to be able to provide and figure out how you can separate those two things and bring self-care into your world because that right there is a big help. It’s a big help for me even when someone says, “What are you doing for self-care?” That’s a big help because then it triggers something. I’m like, “I didn’t do X, Y, and Z for myself. I didn’t go get a facial, or maybe I will go get my nails done over the weekend.” Support that person through whatever they are going through at that time by active listening. Introducing ‘Grief Almost Had Me’ And The 7-Step Workbook Based on where that has taken us, I do have two of your books here. I have Grief Almost Had Me: Peace Brought Me Out! 7 Steps From Grief to Peace by Kimberly Byers, and Grief Almost Had Me: Peace Brought Me Out! The 7 Steps Workbook. Where can someone find these books? Both of the books are available on Amazon, but if you go to my website ByHersPOM.com, you can purchase both of those books from that site or Amazon. Thank you. We are going to travel down the books a little bit. I’m not going to give it all away, but enough that you see what you could possibly benefit from if you were able to walk with Kim in these books. Kim, what’s your favorite color? My favorite color is blue. Here you are all blue down and I had on blue too. Good job. We are going to start with the workbook. There’s always something very interesting with the first page or so, as far as the writer’s mindset or what their goal is. I’d like to read that if you don’t mind. I don’t mind at all. “Welcome. First, I want to give honor and thanks to God because this book would not have been possible without His grace and mercy. This book is dedicated to the memory of my mom, Valerie Gray Davis, my brother, Terrance Rd Byers, my uncle Daniel Roy, my aunt and cousin, Patricia Williams, and many others who have succumbed to cancer. May these steps provide you comfort and peace. Our loved ones would not want us to

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Coping With A Son’s Murder With Laureen Flood Rivers

Podcast / November 21, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Laureen Flood Rivers | Son’s Murder

No mother should be burying their children, and no mother deserves to deal with their son’s murder. Unfortunately for Laureen Flood Rivers, she had to face the heavy burden of losing her son to gun violence in 2003. In this episode, she looks back on her story of grief, isolation, and coping after the brutal death of her son, as well as how it shook and ultimately transformed her relationship with God. She recounts how she let go of anger and found inner peace after forgiving those responsible for his murder. Laureen also emphasizes the urgent need to take action, especially from church communities, to finally put an end to the vicious cycle of gun and gang violence. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Coping With A Son’s Murder With Laureen Flood Rivers My guest is Ms. Laureen Flood Rivers. Hi, Laureen. Hi, Minister Tina. Why are you laughing? What’s so funny? Just the Minister Tina, your face. I can’t help it. That’s okay. Some of you may not know that I’m an ordained minister, and that is nothing that I have a problem with. I’ll actually explain that. Thank you for making that point of conversation. When Widowhood Real Talk with Tina was started, it was created with the intention to meet people at their point of need in their grief. I know that sometimes when people are grieving, their relationship with their faith is shot to trash, and I did not want that to be a hindrance. When my pastor and I spoke about me starting this nonprofit, we spoke about the idea that, one, everyone is not a Christian, and I understand that. I didn’t want the idea that I am an ordained minister underneath the Christian faith to be a hindrance for someone, that they could not feel love and support when they interact with me. Because if Minister Tina came first, that’s what they would see. Not only would they hear the word minister, they would probably think about every minister that relates to their past. Whether that was a positive or negative experience, it would become standoffish. The intention was this nonprofit is not faith-based. Mentioning my own personal story, my faith in God is the only way that I have been able to endure this great loss. Yes, I am an ordained minister, and she is. Laureen knows how relationships started in that particular part of my life. That is how our relationship is. I don’t have a problem with it because I know that that’s what God has called me to do. Losing A Son What I know is true in me walking in my calling, whether the title is upfront, the love is felt. That is what I believe that people are supposed to receive from God, not a title, not this concept of being judged, but meeting people at their place of need and, in that place of need, filling that relationship with God. People will ask me, like, “Like how, for real? Like you have not lost all your mind?” And I will start with this, a lot of times, people are mad and upset with God, and they’re holding that inside. I have learned from the people that I’ve interacted with that until they’re able, to be honest, that they’re mad with God, they can be stuck in a place where they are not honestly dealing with their grief in all aspects of it. What would you say to that part? My relationship with you started in the heart of my grief over the loss of my son. Your son’s name? Jihad. We called him Haddi. His name is Jihad Nasir Rivers, and we call him Haddi. Jay Rock, he had a lot of, he’s my baby. I’m the youngest child of five. We’re going to go with Haddi today? We’re going to go with Haddi because that’s how everybody related to him. When I met you at Shawnee Church, I didn’t have a great relationship with my home church, which was about an hour and a half away from where I’m located in New Jersey. I love my bishop. I love him. He was the first male father figure, the first male that I actually reverenced in my life was a bishop. I couldn’t talk to him. I thought I could talk to him after, I’m going to say the death. My son was murdered, and it’s clear that he didn’t just up and die. He died at someone else’s hand. It was hard for me to understand why God chose to take my son. Did it start with, “How did God let this happen to me?” Yes. It was a lot. I saw you trying to process that. It was like, “God, I’ve been serving you. God, I’ve been faithful. God, I’ve been doing this. How did this happen to my baby?” My question was, “God, have I been serving you right? Have I been serving you in spirit and truth?” I was Muslim, and I chose Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It was a transition for my family. My children, I started them off, they just knew Muslim. I believe that I became Muslim because my brother was Muslim. I don’t believe that I chose it for my relationship with God or a god. I think that it was just you following who is into religion. I had to find something at the time, and my mother didn’t display that, but anyway, let me get back to how I was feeling about God. The night that my son was murdered, I have a

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Mourning To Meaning: Teresea Archaga On Healing, Loss, And Finding Purpose

Podcast / October 17, 2024

Widowhood Real Talk with Tina | Teresea Archaga | Mourning To Meaning

In this episode, we welcome Teresea Archaga, a Certified Grief Counselor and support group practitioner with the American Academy of Grief Counseling, who has turned her mourning into a mission to help others. Teresea has experienced several significant losses in her life which led her on a journey of healing and self-discovery, and she has made it her mission to help others navigate their own grief journeys. In this conversation, Teresea shares her personal story of loss and grief, and she discusses how she has found purpose in serving others. She also offers practical advice for those who are grieving, and she encourages them to seek support from others. If you are interested in learning more about grief and how to cope with loss, then this is an episode you won’t want to miss. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Mourning To Meaning: Teresea Archaga On Healing, Loss, And Finding Purpose Introduction To Teresea Archaga Our guest is Miss Teresea Archaga. She is a Certified Grief Counselor and support group practitioner with the American Academy of Grief Counseling. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Development and a Master’s degree in Career Development. While her certifications and degrees are important for building knowledge and reinforcing her commitment to being a lifelong learner, nothing beats the lessons she’s learned and the self-awareness that she’s gained in her journey through grief and loss. She has experienced several significant losses that we are going to talk about in this episode in her life and healing from childhood trauma. Life as she knows it is forever changed. Without her loved ones, it was important for her to make meaning out of her loss and pain. She discovered her purpose and her purpose has been serving others. We asked that at the end of her graduation program, “What would she do with her work?” and her answer was, “It remains to serve whoever needs her.” Teresea is going to open up and share with us about her personal loss, what she’s learned in her grief journey and how she is serving others. Let’s get into this conversation now. We are welcoming Teresea to our community. Thank you for having me. You are welcome. Thanks for being here. I love having an opportunity to bring people to the community who want to serve, and the ability to serve comes from many different places. What is it that you do and how do you serve people? I am a work in progress and I think that we all are in our grief. A lot of folks think that once that milestone hits, we’re done. What I’m finding in my experience after several consecutive losses, the work is never done and I find myself going back to other losses that I’ve experienced and saying, “I felt this before. What is it?” Now I’m able to put a label on it. I didn’t have a lot of support in my healing journey, which led me to where I am in finding my purpose. I want to use my experience, strength, and hope to help, encourage, inspire, and hopefully influence others to start expressing their grief more outwardly instead of swallowing it down and trying to ignore it. Taking Action After Loss I became a Certified Grief Coach. I’ve always been a doer by nature. The talking is good but I want to also take action. It’s not enough to just say it. I need to take the steps to move forward. I think, in my case, I struggled with taking the first steps, and I don’t even know what that first step looks like. I think it’s just take a step, any step. It’s always in the right direction. That is a lot. Thank you for sharing that. Now I want to circle back to several of the different things that you mentioned. You talk about the idea of reaching a milestone, and it’s done. What does that milestone look like and what do you think people have a false conception about it? Navigating The First Anniversaries After Loss My employer had three to five bereavement days and that’s just enough for you to make the funeral arrangements, make the phone calls, etcetera. The five days are over. I looked at it as my first milestone, getting through the first steps of it. What I discovered was, that’s not enough because then you because then you have the calm and then you have the storm. You might have that storm several times over. What do you do when you’re in the storm and you’re not knowing or anticipating that storm coming? Then you have the first holidays. Those are always a struggle. It’s mostly because you don’t know what that holiday or event looks like without that individual for the first time. They have the anniversaries of their deaths. Balancing Grief And Relationships How do you memorialize that? How do you honor them? If you’re struggling with relationships with those individuals, which I did in some cases, do you recognize or honor that memorial or that relationship? I think it was important that a lot of that processing was more for me than it was for the individuals I lost. They’re no longer here, but I needed them to make sense of it and to honor it in a way that felt comfortable to me. Thank you. I like that because you’re right. Three to five days? On day one, you’re probably disoriented, just in shock, and coming to terms with, “This is a thing.” If it’s happened on a weekend where you’re just floating through that and

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Choosing To Live After The Death Of Two Husbands With Theresa McFadden

Podcast / October 5, 2023

Losing the love of your life is indeed a heartbreaking experience, but what if you have to get through it all over again? Tina Fornwald sits down with Theresa McFadden who talks about the death of her two husbands. She looks back on how she married her first husband right out of high school, and how she openly married her second husband despite his illness. Theresa opens up about her bad experience with therapy and why widows should never stop living just because their significant others left this world. She also discusses how to avoid seven years of financial burden when your partner passes away and how she chose to let go of her husbands’ possessions to better manage her grief. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide. — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Choosing To Live After The Death Of Two Husbands With Theresa McFadden Our conversation is with Ms. Theresa McFadden. Her sister Laverne and I were friends. When my late husband passed, she connected me with her sister, Theresa. It was an instant match. The conversations we’ve had over the years have been transparent, and I knew that Theresa would be someone to be able to join the Widowhood and be sincere in the things that she shared about her second husband. I came to find out I did not even know that she had been a two-time widow. She held that back from me, but that’s something that she shares with you. She shares about her ability to keep living even after the passing of her second husband. Let’s get into this conversation now. Let’s welcome Theresa McFadden to the conversation. How are you? I’m good. Who is Theresa McFadden? Theresa McFadden is a mother, grandmother, daughter, all-around Lady of Travel, and an artist. Theresa is a retired widow enjoying her life. There’s a lot right there. I’m not sure what to start with. I’m going to start with the Lady of Travel. What is the lady of travel? What does that mean? In honor of my mother and I’m dealing with some grief issues, I started my own travel company. I named it after her. After retirement, I started to do it full-time. Now I am the lady of travel. I have a full pledge travel company with employees. We are doing great things with our people. We are traveling and showing people how important it is to see the world, and that it’s okay to travel alone. I’m going to unpack a couple of things. How many employees and how long have you been doing the Lady of Travel, and what is it called? I have three employees who are family, my daughter, my goddaughter, and myself. My daughter is our event planner. She handles all the events. She handles it from the beginning to the end, and she travels with groups. I have my goddaughter who handles all of our bookings, as well as myself, and putting everything in place. She’s not able to travel as much as my daughter. We work it out. I’ve been in business for many years. Congratulations. What is the name of the travel business? It is Ruby Red Travel. It was named after my mom. Her name was Ruby, and red is my favorite color. To me, it was perfect. Educate me on the redness. What is your favorite shade of red? My favorite shade of it is bright red. It’s not blinding red, but it’s noticeable. Where does that color show up most in your life and the things you do? When I was younger, it would always show up in my living room. Now that I’m a little more settled, normally, it’s not even in my house. Everyone knows it’s my favorite color because we had a lot. In my new home, we have a centerpiece in my dining room that’s made out of tentacles. It has red and orange in it. I’m going to look forward to decorating it. You talked about being retired. Retired from what, if I may ask? The Attorney General’s office for the State of New Jersey. In what capacity? I worked there as an Adjudicator for Immigration for the Board of Nursing. Before that, I worked for the Department of Immigration. You’ve seen a lot of things change in society you being in that role. Unfortunately, I can’t say for the good. I’m going to save that for another show because that’s a whole conversation. We can probably pick that up next episode. There’s so much more to your journey before we get wrapped up in that. You said, “Be a retired widow.” Tell me a little bit about the love story before we get to the widow part. The love story started many years ago. I was a widow at that time as well. We were both single parents. We considered ourselves to Brady Bunch. He had 3, and I had 3. We combined those 3 and made 6, and the rest was history. We raised our children together and almost were Inseparable as we did everything together. You normally don’t see one without the other unless we’re at work. The retired part comes in. I forced my husband into retirement because he was, in my opinion, a workaholic, and the type of work he did was very dangerous. I was like, “I think you should retire. You have the age and the years. Go ahead and do it.” He made an agreement. I had already started a travel company. I was like, “I will teach you how

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My Twelfth Rose: A Story Of Love, Bipolar And Suicide With Pastor James Ford Jr. – Part 2

Podcast / September 9, 2023

Losing a loved one from suicide is a profoundly painful and complex experience that leaves those who are left behind grappling for answers. Pastor James Ford Jr. lost his wife to suicide after a long battle with bipolar. In this second part of a three-part conversation, he talks to Tina Fornwald about the experience of loving someone who is fighting unknown battles within themselves. Tune in and listen as Pastor James shares those difficult moments of persevering in love through it all with faith. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide How To Contact Pastor James Ford, Jr.: Pastor Ford: https://www.facebook.com/pastorjamesfordjr/ Christ Bible Church of Chicago: https://www.christbiblechurchofchicago.org/pastor-ford-s-bio#:~:text=Pastor%20James%20Ford%20Jr.%20has,at%20Trinity%20Evangelical%20Divinity%20School Pastor James Ford Jr. YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PastorJamesFord — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here My Twelfth Rose: A Story Of Love, Bipolar And Suicide With Pastor James Ford Jr. – Part 2 We’re going into part two of our conversation with Pastor James Ford regarding the unfortunate loss of his wife. I know this conversation will be helpful for you. Let’s get into a discussion now. What are some things that people don’t know about Pudgy that drove you to want to have this conversation? A lot of people didn’t know that she was bipolar, that she was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic, and that prior to her successful attempt at suicide, she had made seven other previous attempts. I’ll tell you about the first one because here I am. I was raised by my mama and my grandma. I was raised by women. There were a lot of things missing because there wasn’t a man but you get things when you’re raised by women that you can never get from a man. That is what I call a sensitivity. They call it empathy now. I don’t like empathy. Let me tell you why. Empathy means to fill in. Sympathy means to fill with. I like compassion because it means to be surrounded by. In other words, if you have an issue, I’m surrounded by your issue. Compassion is your pain in my heart. That’s why I like that word. God set the tone. As a pastor, one time, I saw a man jumping on a woman. I didn’t care whether he had a knife or a gun. I ran to protect that woman because that’s what you learn when you’re raised by women. You learn to connect not first to what a woman says, even though you have to listen, but how a woman feels. I do things for my Sugarbabe. For example, every third year in the first 100 days, I would do 100 ways and 100 days. I would get seven greeting cards and write original poems on them because that’s what she loved. I would make the poem up and stuff like, “I’m arrested by your godly personality and locked up in the prison of your love. The governor tried to give me a pardon but I turned it down. The parole board wanted to give me early release but I am forever a prisoner of your love.” She loved it. I’ve got hundreds of them because I would try to write her once a week or once every two weeks. That’s because she was my caramel mocha latte, hot, yellow, sweet, and smoking. How long have you been together for the first time? We were here in Chicago. We had been married for 24 years before she made that first effort. She slashed her wrists. I had come home, and she was sitting in bed. She put her hands down. I said, “What’s wrong?” She did that. I grabbed her, threw her in the car, and took her to Trinity Hospital. They got her sewed up and everything. They said, “We have to report this.” Once she was released and we got home, I was like, “What’s going on? Why would you want to leave me? Am I not loving you the way you need to be loved? I don’t understand it.” She said something so very profound. I know it had to be God giving her those words because it set me free. One of the things I found now that this has happened is as I’m dealing with individuals, most people look first at themselves, “What did I do that would cause them to want to take their life?” It’s the guilt and the idea, “I could have changed it.” Is there something I could have done? No. Let me tell you what she told me. Without missing a beat, she said, “Why are you making this about you?” That arrested my attention, “What do you mean? This is about me. This is something on the inside of me that’s eating me up.” At this point, did you know she was bipolar or suffered from this? Not until after this incident that we found out she was bipolar. She didn’t even know that. She just knew that this aching was happening. She said that cutting herself and watching the blood flow made her feel better. She said to me, “Why do you want to make this about you? There’s something on the inside. If Jesus can’t fix it, what makes you think you can?” It freed me up. I was more attentive after that. I’m going to be honest. My whole family knows. If you talk to Jerry, she will tell you. Her sister was spoiled rotten. We already figured that out with the roses, poems, and everything else. I could probably count on one hand how many times I told this woman no. If she wanted

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Grief, Therapy, And Transformation: Learning Effective Tools For Managing Grief With Brad Taylor

Podcast / August 31, 2023

Through therapy and self-care, we can transform the pain of grief into the power to heal, rediscover joy, and embrace life again. In this compelling episode, Brad Taylor discusses the effective tools for managing grief. Drawing from his extensive experience in therapy, he sheds light on the challenges faced by individuals dealing with profound sadness and grief. In this compassionate exchange, Brad and host Tina debunk common misconceptions surrounding mental health and explore the complexities of navigating the grieving process. Grief is a unique journey for each person. Tune in as Tina and Brad shed light on the journey through grief and offers guidance and hope to those who may be experiencing loss. Take a step towards healing and discover the transformative power of therapy, self-care, and embracing life again. Thank you for viewing this post. I am not a licensed therapist or professional life coach. I am sharing my experience of loving the same man for 32 years, a mother to two adult children, a retired military officer, a breast cancer survivor, and my connections with others. Anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts should reach out to a suicide hotline or local emergency number in their country https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide — Watch the episode here Listen to the podcast here Grief, Therapy, And Transformation: Learning Effective Tools For Managing Grief With Brad Taylor My guest in this episode is Brad Taylor, who is a Clinical Director. He is going to allow us to see this depression, grief, and journey from a professional perspective. He brings information where, outside of the hood that I have given you personally, your hood can extend to the professionals that are assisting you, whether it is someone who encourages you, a therapist, a counselor, or a professional coach to be able to heal what other people can do to be part of your hood to help you along your journey in missing the person that you love. Let’s get right into the conversation. My guest in this episode is Mr. Brad Taylor, the Clinical Director of the New Life Counseling Center. Welcome, Brad. Thank you. I’m honored to be here. Thank you. I am glad to have this opportunity. Up until this point, our conversations have been with my friend and my family, which is my hood. Also, in a broader scope of the hood, I’ve mentioned that I have spent time with a therapist, and most of that time was when I was in Pennsylvania. I’m unable to travel all the way there, but I was connected with Mr. Brad Taylor. It is being able to have him come to this forum, share what that conversation would look like, provide also a spectrum outside of grief that I’m familiar with, and be able to bring that in a different way. I’m glad to have you here. Thank you. I’m excited to be here, Tina. Brad, tell us a little bit about yourself. My name is Brad Taylor. I am the owner of the New Life Counseling Center. We are an outpatient mental health and substance abuse treatment center in Virginia Beach, Virginia. We were established in 2006. We provide services to citizens of Virginia Beach and the surrounding localities. Those services include everything from substance abuse counseling to mental health counseling and pretty much anything that may be connected to those types of services. I know that this show is dealing with grief and, unfortunately, dealing with substance abuse addictions, specifically. I often come across clients who are experiencing some type of grief due to overdose and higher rates of suicide by either family members or people that they know. Unfortunately, it has become a common occurrence for us to have clients that we provide services to who are experiencing grief. I’m excited to be able to talk about this subject because I’m certain that it’s going to be able to resonate and help so many people who may be going through it, struggling, and looking for some way to move forward in their lives. If I’m hearing you correctly, you’re saying that people that come to you, the original part may be because of substance abuse, but as you start unpacking their situation, you find out that the origin of that may have been from their grief. It’s very normal. Unfortunately, I have to keep saying that word because it’s not something that we want any of our clients to experience in their lives. We do an assessment of everyone coming in. It amazes me the number of people that when we are asking about past traumas and things that may be relevant to why they have the diagnosis or why they are having the struggles in life that they have, that’s a very common experience that many of them had. They may have had some type of loss in their life, and a lot of them turn to drugs to cope with that loss as a way of dealing with the emotional pain that comes with losing somebody in your life. It’s not only that in a vacuum because a lot of these clients also have a lot of other things that, in many ways, complicate grief. Some of them may come in organically with some mental health things that get exacerbated when they have the loss. You throw the substance use and addictions on there, and then that makes the grief and these other issues more intense. Often, unfortunately as well, a lot of them have gotten themselves in some type of legal trouble. Here at New Life, I would say 90% of our referrals and clients are people who are mandated. It means they’re on probation or parole. They may be linked up with Child Protective Services, have been court-ordered to be here, an employer might have sent them here, or along those lines. When they come to our services, we do a thorough evaluation. We try to treat the whole person. Unfortunately, as part of us

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